Am I normal?

[manfredtillmann]

9 minutes ago, Chicog said:

Why own a cow when you can buy a pint of milk.

because you like stroking her horns, listen to the sound her belly makes, enjoy walking behind her on the the way to pasture - just watching her tail flick left and right chasing flies, love the deep blue eyes, the abrasive lick of her tongue...

you have never been in a relationship with a cow, have you?

[lostinisaan]

 

           Op, even when I feel sorry for you, I don't think that discussing that here on an open forum will help you in any way.

 

       Why don't you send a message to the one guy who offered you to talk to you? 

 

         You remind me of my first love, but i was 16 and we finally broke up when I was 21. 

 

           Two abortions where I still don't know if I'd have been the father. But life goes on and you're only going through a learning process now.

 

         Time heals pretty much all. And as you see, you're not alone. Maybe if you stop to continuously contact her, she'll come back.

 

          Love does make blind. get well soon. You'll soon find out that other moms also have nice daughters. 

 

            

[NoshowJones]

3 hours ago, MissAndry said:

Sounds entirely normal (if pointless) to me.

Having sex with someone else is usually the fastest cure.

Everybody handles these thing differently

[NoshowJones]

This was me at one time. The lyrics are so true. I lived it.

 

[kannot]

Hey!!!  tomorrow's  another day

[kannot]

1 hour ago, cyberfarang said:

That`s a myth. Finding a decent partner is similar to fishing, only on rare occasions does a fisherman hook a prize catch.

but the internet gives you a  vast choice and the net can be cast worldwide, just sift thru the dross.

[Berkshire]

OP, why did your wife leave you?  It goes to whether she would ever return.  Loving someone too much is actually not an attractive trait. 

[rogeroc]

10 minutes ago, DipStick said:

Oh dear what an ignorant pretender you are, for YOUR record, my wife is not a Thai slut she is very highly educated from Oxford with degrees in law, but prefers to do business. She speaks English, Chinese, Thai and Russian

 

 

Who has every suggested your wife is a slut? What is the relevence of your wife's education and mastery of languages to this thread and how is that information the slightest help to the OP. 

[oxo1947]

I had the opposite experience OP------ I left my wife and kids,  Her sobbing and pleading for me not to go, still haunts me to this very day

..............in fairness maybe I should just change my ring tone...........

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, manfredtillmann said:

because you like stroking her horns, listen to the sound her belly makes, enjoy walking behind her on the the way to pasture - just watching her tail flick left and right chasing flies, love the deep blue eyes, the abrasive lick of her tongue...

you have never been in a relationship with a cow, have you?

 

...and he's not lactose intolerant either.

[Hutch68]

3 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

O you don't get me at all I still love my wife

I don't want to have sex with anybody 

Do I know you?

[zd1]

You are completely normal, in fact if you don't feel the way you obviously do you wouldn't be normal.

Unfortunately the only cure is time something similar happen to me many moons ago and I still think about her from time to time but now I don't dwell on it and wouldn't change where I am today.

Think of it like a death of a loved one you need time to grieve to get over it, but remember you don't know what is around the corner.

[kannot]

37 minutes ago, DipStick said:

Very simply put, even to the likes of you and this ms Andry  , I acknowledge that a good education instills into people compassion and understanding, and in fact on forums can actually help people .. This OP was asking for help, but so many decided to answer by taking the piss NICE and very negative. You and this Object called Ms Andry have done what to help ? Nothing apart from posting self centred how important You are. Laughable, pathetic. Don't worry, back off drive your cheap scooter and enjoy your cheapo accommodation whilst I live in my 44m Baht villa and drive a BMW X5 .

 

you see how easy it is on forums such as this to pretend you are important.  For goodness sake engage brain before commenting 

an X5,  no accounting for taste eh

[daveAustin]

Time is a great healer op. And often with women - and men I guess - when they see that their ex is moving on, finding interests in other things/people, they can have a change of heart and become keen again. I wouldn't bank on it, but the possibility could be something to look to while in the meantime you get on with your life... ie, avoid chasing her, soppy texts, etc, as that will continue to drive her away.

 

Careful dwelling on the past and future (bringers of anxiety and worry) and muse the present moment and have goals. When mind goes into obligatory repeat-regret mode, simply observing one's thoughts as if it's a separate entity can have a dramatic effect and strip it of power.

[JJGreen]

Time is a great healer op. And often with women - and men I guess - when they see that their ex is moving on, finding interests in other things/people, they can have a change of heart and become keen again. I wouldn't bank on it, but the possibility could be something to look to while in the meantime you get on with your life... ie, avoid chasing her, soppy texts, etc, as that will continue to drive her away.

 

Careful dwelling on the past and future (bringers of anxiety and worry) and muse the present moment and have goals. When mind goes into obligatory repeat-regret mode, simply observing one's thoughts as if it's a separate entity can have a dramatic effect and strip it of power.

 

I love the old fools who think they can speak for their wife, her feelings for them and what they think she has or hasn't done!

Bit of wishy washy advice.

[CharlieH]

Never easy when a long term relationship ends. Especially if you werent the one who ended it.

 

Best you can do is learn from it, you may not get over it, but you will learn to live with it.........in time.

[Bender]

OP,  dont worry she will come back when she run out of money....

 

But meanwhile, if i was you, i would go talk to psychiatrist about your obsession for your  ex-wife.

He will help you to understand the roots of your real problem. 

 

So when the ex-wife come back you will be able to kick her out....

Edited August 31, 2016 by Bender

[cyberfarang]

Going through a marital divorce from a partner that was dearly loved and after the break up becomes finalised is exactly the same as suffering grief when a loved one dies.

Whether having suffered a traumatic divorce or death of a loved one, it is at those times when the person really needs either close family or good sympathetic caring friends to help get that person through it. I went through a s**ty divorce years ago and I was lucky to have had close wonderful friends who supported me all the way. It seems the OP doesn’t have anyone for support at this time and is stand alone; otherwise he would not be discussing this on TV, which is very sad.

 

They say it takes up to 2 years to get over the most traumatic part of grief and during that period the person may feel their world has come to an end and is a dangerous period in their lives. All I can say to the OP is, if he really still loves his wife is to try and get her back, even begging for her mercy if need be. But if feels he cannot tolerate living with her anymore, then to accept the situation for what it is and just get on with living his own life.

[Patsycat]

It takes a woman a lot to leave a man.  It took me two black eyes and four broken ribs.

 

  You must have upset her in some way.

 

And now you are crying.

 

Some of us women here have been through hell and back over men, but we get up and get on with our lives.

 

And so should men.

[catman20]

been there before, not quite as bad as you i think. having sex with other people at first is not the answer, i just wasn't interested in other women.

a broken heart is like a broken leg, it needs time to heal you cant expect to get over it in a few weeks. as a friend of mine said to me ( you just have to do your time ) it took about a year but you will get over it, keep busy and when you feel ready, and you will know when then get busy with other girls in the mean time get busy with friends, sports and anythings you like doing.

in the end ull be saying to yourself what was all that about.

[giddyup]

11 hours ago, MissAndry said:

 

I love the old fools who think they can speak for their wife, her feelings for them and what they think she has or hasn't done!

Why an old fool? You think young fools don't get the wool pulled over their eyes? Once again the ageist digs.

[catman20]

11 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

That`s a myth. Finding a decent partner is similar to fishing, only on rare occasions does a fisherman hook a prize catch.

very true but fishing is very enjoyable when your catching lots

[giddyup]

3 minutes ago, catman20 said:

very true but fishing is very enjoyable when your catching lots

As long as you don't catch more than you can eat.

[grumbleweed]

You're in need of some serious therapy, not because you're behaving like a love struck teenager, but because you're so desperate, and or deluded, as to think  you could find guidance on relationship matters on this forum.

However; at least when you get to this stage you know you've hit rock bottom.  Things can only get better.

[RedQualia]

11 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

 

 

11 hours ago, Seizetheday said:

Two phrases that come to mind, there is always someone better and, there are many fish in the sea.

 

Life isn't a dress rehearsal, make the most of it. Move on.

 

11 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

That`s a myth. Finding a decent partner is similar to fishing, only on rare occasions does a fisherman hook a prize catch.

 

I thought I had a "prize catch" once. And then she left, leaving me as sad and mopey as OP appears to be. And after a few days or weeks, I realized that if she could do that, she was less of a prize than she should be. And that was that. She did ask me to take her back after a few months. I declined. Loved her for a long time after that, but no... I didn't need someone who might be there tomorrow, or might not. I didn't need someone who thought no more of me than that. So I threw her back. Let some other fisherman hook her and see if he can keep her in his boat. Absolutely the right decision.

[thairay]

11 hours ago, manfredtillmann said:

because you like stroking her horns, listen to the sound her belly makes, enjoy walking behind her on the the way to pasture - just watching her tail flick left and right chasing flies, love the deep blue eyes, the abrasive lick of her tongue...

you have never been in a relationship with a cow, have you?

the only thing wrong with shagging a cow,  when you want a kiss you have to jump off the box and run around to the front.. and as i said here before    my wife ran off with my best mate ... and i miss him..

[koolkarl]

14 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

O you don't get me at all I still love my wife

I don't want to have sex with anybody 

Maybe that is why she left you.

[giddyup]

Hey buddy, I can empathize. You form attachments to people you love and it hurts when they go, perfectly normal. It sounds as though some members here have never had a serious relationship in their lives and never suffered the pain that's felt after it's gone. There is no quick fix, getting your toe back in the water may alleviate some of the hurt briefly, but only time is the real healer.

[Docno]

When we are in love, the brain stops using it's rational/analytical 'portion'--the prefrontal cortex--when we think of this person (though we continue to rationally reflect on the other people we interact with). This probably helps us to overlook our partner's imperfections and stay happy with them. When love fades, rationality kicks in, and those little things you didn't notice before or which you found endearing now become annoying or worse.

 

So you need to work to kickstart the rational part of your brain when thinking of this woman. Two things to do:

1. Remind yourself repeatedly of her imperfections and character flaws (we all have them). Don't trivialise those things but instead remind yourself of their impact on you and others. 
2. Realise and remind yourself that she's not the 'only one' for you... that there are many other women out there you could be equally happy with. Most of us learn this from experience, so you may be able to think back to when you recovered from similar situations... life went on.

And as other have said... let time do it's bit.

[Emster23]

14 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

O you don't get me at all I still love my wife

I don't want to have sex with anybody 

Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go bang