Is it Thai etiquette for the farang to pay for everyones dinner?

[gandalf12]

You would not expect a lady to pay but a ladyboy yes they can pay their fair share.

[durian explorer]

Regarding how to deal with a group accompanying the date, I'd want to set some boundaries beforehand.  Waiting until the group is there and then running away is stooping down to their level (and potentially self destructive, as has been pointed out).  Better, I think, to be up front, and give the woman the opportunity to come up to your level (if she had been contemplating doing otherwise at all).

 

Which means, in practice, something like: "You'll be coming alone, right?" Or, "would you like to bring a friend along?" if 1 friend is ok, and then saying "only 1, right?".  If, after that, more than one person shows up, I would look to my date, and if she did not deal with the situation, I would have valuable information about her, pay the bill up to that point, and leave.

 

In other words, being assertive and protecting my interest, while still being respectful.  The walking out strategy deprives you of the opportunity to see if she will respond to your reasonable requests when you make them.

[KarenBravo]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

IMO it was dotpoom that lost face, but he probably didn't even realise that.

 

Who gives a crap.

I come from a more advanced culture where every decision is not ruled by "face", which values substance over appearance and hierarchy is not governed by how much money you have.

[djayz]

23 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Is it not the case the he/she who does the inviting pays the bill.

Sometimes yes, that is in fact the case. But I've also been in situations where people suggested we meet for dinner but then we paid the bill equally at the end of the meal. 

Like I said in my earlier post, I think it depends mainly on WHO is at the dinner table and WHY they are there. 

 

There are people in all walks of life who constantly look for freebees. I remember a really tight English teacher living in Korat. Students used to occassionally organize a trip to a local Thai restaurant and invite this stingy English geezer to join them. Apparently he ate until he almost burst and then, before it came to asking for the bill, he simply stood up and left the restaurant. Didn't even bother to chip in for the meal. 

It takes all sorts... not just Thais are in it for the free dinner. 

Edited December 3, 2016 by djayz

[NoshowJones]

1 hour ago, djayz said:

Sometimes yes, that is in fact the case. But I've also been in situations where people suggested we meet for dinner but then we paid the bill equally at the end of the meal. 

Like I said in my earlier post, I think it depends mainly on WHO is at the dinner table and WHY they are there. 

 

There are people in all walks of life who constantly look for freebees. I remember a really tight English teacher living in Korat. Students used to occassionally organize a trip to a local Thai restaurant and invite this stingy English geezer to join them. Apparently he ate until he almost burst and then, before it came to asking for the bill, he simply stood up and left the restaurant. Didn't even bother to chip in for the meal. 

It takes all sorts... not just Thais are in it for the free dinner. 

Yes, I agree with you.

[roo860]

There's plenty that dissappear when it's their turn to get the beers in!

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

[scorecard]

On 12/3/2016 at 9:49 AM, Shawn0000 said:

 

Exactly, I have no end of people willing to help me and I have needed quite a lot, not that I am incapable of working, just things are quite different here and I don't always have the tool or knowledge needed, and they have always been surprised and all smiles if I want to buy them just a beer afterwards, never has anyone asked for anything for helping me out.  But then I am not calling anyone a peasant, I guess you reap what you sow.

 

English friend, well healed, loves living in village situation, Thai wife, no kids, decided to extend his local style house by 3 rooms: bed, bath, kitchen, all big rooms. Word got around and locals quickly turned up to help. In fact farang hadn't yet bought the materials or any tools. The farang in fact was well capable of doing it all himself but was unsure how to proceed so that he didn't upset anybody.

 

The village chief arrived and suggested that the farang put a specific young local man in charge because the young man had worked many building sites. All agreed, quickly they sit down and new supervisor works out what's needed in terms of materials and equipment.

 

New supervisor very pleasant young man, clearly intelligent takes farang and farangs' Thai wife to 3 supply shops to get quotations and decision made for supplier. Work starts and progesses well. Thai wife lays on a nice spread at 6:00 pm each evening and some drinks and all village invited. Cash handouts not expected at all, good example of village sharing and support. 

 

By this stage farang has realized the young supervisor really knows what he's doing and decides (without letting on) that he will try to help the young man further. So he regularly takes the young supervisor to bigger more sophisticated building supplies / equipment outlets and says ' I'm sure this and this and this would be helpful' and buys it all before any comments can come from the supervisor.

 

By the end of the work there is now quite a range of good modern tools and equipment on site. Farang discovers a near new pick up for sale in the village at a bargain price. Farang buys it.

 

The day the project is finished all the tools and equipment loaded on the pick up truck and farang's wife gives the keys to the pick up to the young supervisor and says 'it's all yours and thank your for all your kindness, help and advice' .

 

Farang and his wife now well respected in the village. Ten years on the young supervisor now becomes defacto son of the farang and wife and has established himself well in the building industry in the district.

 

When anybody in the village needs building etc., help the said equipment is all available at no cost, but always returned to the supervisor.

 

Win - win for all. 

Edited December 4, 2016 by scorecard

[JLCrab]

On 12/2/2016 at 6:00 PM, YeahSiam said:

 

 

I dunno

He makes a fair point

A hot, sexy woman is hardly going to showcase a bald, chubby farang who can barely string a sentence together in Thai to her friends or family as some sort of catch, is she?

There's got to be some sort of benefit for his presence and footing the bill for an entourage qualifies as one.

Some guys do tend to overrate themselves somewhat.

When I first came to Thailand I was a skilled volunteer with a prestigious Thai NGO Under Patronage of HM (the Late) King. So a couple of Thai families I visited were more than happy to have me join them for dinner for which they paid the bill and converse with me in my reasonably adequate conversational Thai.

 

Several said (to wit):

So you are coming here to Thailand and actually helping the Thai people (meaning you can screw our young daughter anytime).

[tropo]

4 hours ago, scorecard said:

 

English friend, well healed, loves living in village situation, Thai wife, no kids, decided to extend his local style house by 3 rooms: bed, bath, kitchen, all big rooms. Word got around and locals quickly turned up to help. In fact farang hadn't yet bought the materials or any tools. The farang in fact was well capable of doing it all himself but was unsure how to proceed so that he didn't upset anybody.

 

The village chief arrived and suggested that the farang put a specific young local man in charge because the young man had worked many building sites. All agreed, quickly they sit down and new supervisor works out what's needed in terms of materials and equipment.

 

New supervisor very pleasant young man, clearly intelligent takes farang and farangs' Thai wife to 3 supply shops to get quotations and decision made for supplier. Work starts and progesses well. Thai wife lays on a nice spread at 6:00 pm each evening and some drinks and all village invited. Cash handouts not expected at all, good example of village sharing and support. 

 

By this stage farang has realized the young supervisor really knows what he's doing and decides (without letting on) that he will try to help the young man further. So he regularly takes the young supervisor to bigger more sophisticated building supplies / equipment outlets and says ' I'm sure this and this and this would be helpful' and buys it all before any comments can come from the supervisor.

 

By the end of the work there is now quite a range of good modern tools and equipment on site. Farang discovers a near new pick up for sale in the village at a bargain price. Farang buys it.

 

The day the project is finished all the tools and equipment loaded on the pick up truck and farang's wife gives the keys to the pick up to the young supervisor and says 'it's all yours and thank your for all your kindness, help and advice' .

 

Farang and his wife now well respected in the village. Ten years on the young supervisor now becomes defacto son of the farang and wife and has established himself well in the building industry in the district.

 

When anybody in the village needs building etc., help the said equipment is all available at no cost, but always returned to the supervisor.

 

Win - win for all. 

 

A warm and fuzzy fairy tale to help balance out the nightmares that most others experience.

[soalbundy]

The wife say's if you invite someone you pay, if they bring someone else along as well it's OK to say (before they start ordering) that they will have to pay for themselves.

[burgerking]

"""My girl"""He better get his eyes checked before he beds down. He's in for a real shock. Maybe he like dangly bits.

[watcharacters]

I got surprised a couple of times about paying but nothing serious.      I really don't  feel badly about springing for a few meals for family or friends I know.   I especially  have no issue  paying for duck beaks or chicken feet.   My favorites..

 

I don't make a habit of  paying..

 

I'm now in a situation where I  occasionally  suggest  the Missus  offer  a Thai buffet to her  visiting friends but she usually declines the suggestion.

 

 

I guess it leaves her more baht for the night market..   555     She craves night markets.

[tropo]

22 minutes ago, watcharacters said:

I got surprised a couple of times about paying but nothing serious.      I really don't  feel badly about springing for a few meals for family or friends I know.   I especially  have no issue  paying for duck beaks or chicken feet.   My favorites..

 

I don't make a habit of  paying..

 

I'm now in a situation where I  occasionally  suggest  the Missus  offer  a Thai buffet to her  visiting friends but she usually declines the suggestion.

 

 

I guess it leaves her more baht for the night market..   555     She craves night markets.

 

That's a good idea. If she gets the idea it will hurt her shopping budget, she'll keep the sponging hangers-on down to a bare minimum. First and foremost she must protect her investment.

If, however, the foreigner spends like a millionaire, then expect a lot of uninvited dinner guests. The important thing is to set the rules (budget) right from the start so there's no confusion. If you don't, they'll always think you have unlimited funds.

[Get Real]

To pay for everyone all the time is not something that should go on, and like more say the guy in the video doesn´t seem to be getting that.
However, going out eating once in a while, like 3-4 times a year with the family is okey for me. And at thoose times off course the bill goes to me.

Just up to everyone to like it or not. Nobady is right or wrong in that case.

[Skeptic7]

Don't know anything about Thai etiquette...is there such a thing? HOWEVER it is Thai EXPECTATION that the farang pay for everyone's everything!  

[HooHaa]

Tnree days on and still you lot discuss a man who simply

 paid for dinner.

 

Who is the fool?

[HooHaa]

2 minutes ago, HooHaa said:

 

Please bring back bb code.

Edited December 4, 2016 by HooHaa

[cheapskatesam]

What typically happens in drinking-online scenarios with no food.

 

Say a group of friends of similar stature go out and have some beers.. who pays the bill at the end?
Would adding a white guy into the mix disrupt these cultural norms? 

[tropo]

2 minutes ago, cheapskatesam said:

What typically happens in drinking-online scenarios with no food.

 

Say a group of friends of similar stature go out and have some beers.. who pays the bill at the end?
Would adding a white guy into the mix disrupt these cultural norms? 

 

Yes, It changes everything.

[tuktuktuk]

No, it's not, but they don't have any money. 

 

[YeahSiam]

 

16 hours ago, JLCrab said:

When I first came to Thailand I was a skilled volunteer with a prestigious Thai NGO Under Patronage of HM (the Late) King. So a couple of Thai families I visited were more than happy to have me join them for dinner for which they paid the bill and converse with me in my reasonably adequate conversational Thai.

 

Several said (to wit):

So you are coming here to Thailand and actually helping the Thai people (meaning you can screw our young daughter anytime).

 

How presumptuous

What kind of man thinks that a question asked in polite conversation translates into an invitation to have sex with a young daughter?

[roo860]

This moron and his numerous videos typifies what is so wrong with the majority of foreigners living here. This guy is scary !

The majority live with Ladyboys?

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

[JLCrab]

1 hour ago, YeahSiam said:

 

 

How presumptuous

What kind of man thinks that a question asked in polite conversation translates into an invitation to have sex with a young daughter?

No more presumptuous than as to why the fat bald 60 year-old above who cannot put together a decent sentence in Thai is willing to treat the entire family to dinner including their young daughter. But in my case I got to meet the family because I already was. But I guess to some on here the only way an older farang gets to stay with a hot younger Thai girl is if she holds her nose and temporarily suffers because she wants the cash.

 

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/?app=core&module=system&controller=content&do=find&content_class=forums_Topic&content_id=956587&content_commentid=11389544

Edited December 5, 2016 by JLCrab

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, JLCrab said:

No more presumptuous than as to why the fat bald 60 year-old above who cannot put together a decent sentence in Thai is willing to treat the entire family to dinner including their young daughter. But in my case I got to meet the family because I already was. But I guess to some on here the only way an older farang gets to stay with a hot younger Thai girl is if she holds her nose and temporarily suffers because she wants the cash.

 

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/?app=core&module=system&controller=content&do=find&content_class=forums_Topic&content_id=956587&content_commentid=11389544

 

Point to where in that post I said anything about "old"?

Defensive aren't you?

[JLCrab]

3 hours ago, YeahSiam said:

Point to where in that post I said anything about "old"?

Defensive aren't you?

No -- I was only referring with the age 60 to the post of yours I linked above that replied to the post that talked about going out with girls for whom they are old enough to be their fathers and then you replied about the bald,  chubby farang.

Again:  83 

 

[chrisandsu]

Been with my wife ten years , everything we have we have built together (our son included)? Her family are very genuine people who have never asked for anything from us and on many occasions won't let us pay when we go out together . I wouldn't hesitate for a second to help them out if they ever got into financial trouble as they have more then earned my trust . The key is I see them as my blood family and not those pesky Thais ! I feel they see me the same way too . It's just plain pot luck sometimes, my wife's family are typical middle class  bangkok ... I have seen other middle class family's be ultra devious to each other ! I have 

also seen the loveliest most generous people from nackon nowhere that just about had a bowl of rice but wanted to share that with me ! Don't judge Dont stereotype and chalk everything down to an experience .

[Johnniey]

On 02/12/2016 at 10:56 AM, KarenBravo said:

When this happens and you realise you are being used by a woman and her mates, start ordering the most expensive items on the menu.

Once you have finished your tender, Wagyu steak, excuse yourself to either go to the toilet, or have a cigarette in the parking lot.

Then, do a runner leaving all the people that played you for a fool with a massive bill.

Right on. I did this once but in a night club with the most expensive whisky. Very funny!

[Johnniey]

4 hours ago, JLCrab said:

No more presumptuous than as to why the fat bald 60 year-old above who cannot put together a decent sentence in Thai is willing to treat the entire family to dinner including their young daughter. But in my case I got to meet the family because I already was. But I guess to some on here the only way an older farang gets to stay with a hot younger Thai girl is if she holds her nose and temporarily suffers because she wants the cash.

 

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/?app=core&module=system&controller=content&do=find&content_class=forums_Topic&content_id=956587&content_commentid=11389544

How old are you?

 

I'm 56, been married 29 years to a Thai.

[Johnniey]

Just seen the vdo, what a total kn**he*d

[soalbundy]

On 12/3/2016 at 11:27 AM, Stargrazer9889 said:

If you are married and this happens, take your next trip to

Thailand by your self, and let wify know that you are not

her or her family's sugar daddy.  It does wonders of how you

are treated the next time you and her go back to LOS.

  If you are single and want to be money bags then pay,

if not do just like, blueblue water did.

Smart guy..

Geezer

A divorce is a lot more expensive than buying a couple of extra meals