Is it Thai etiquette for the farang to pay for everyones dinner?

[seancbk]

2 minutes ago, lormakmak said:

wow I read some of these replies and wonder if people actually had any life in the western world before Thailand.... piss takers come in all shapes and sizes and in the UK if you set yourself up as a chump you'll get taken as one.... same applies to US, Europe etc....

 

some do need to get their heads round the fact that they aren't very attractive to these girls and old enough to be their fathers.... be realistic and whatever goes on it shouldn't shock or upset you!

I can't help wondering who people mixed with back in their home countries.... But why come to Thailand to mix with people who are so much poorer than you?

At least mix with the middle class Thais who've been overseas educated and can afford to eat in nice restaurants.


 

[Suradit69]

Whenever I've eaten at a Thai friend's home he/they have paid for everything. Never had them present me with a "check bin" at the end of the meal.

 

[KarenBravo]

2 minutes ago, seancbk said:

I can't help wondering who people mixed with back in their home countries.... But why come to Thailand to mix with people who are so much poorer than you?

At least mix with the middle class Thais who've been overseas educated and can afford to eat in nice restaurants.


 

 

Sounds like you are promoting a "snobbish" agenda.

Are you, yourself a snob, that avoids poor people?

[Suradit69]

 

[NoshowJones]

6 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

a few years ago i was buying a ticket at a nearby travel agent, the girl working there was attractive and a little flirty so i remembered her. i then stated to see her around the local restaurants with foreigners and various friends. i later found out that she liked to get customers to take her out for dinner, when the guy turned up for the dinner date, full of anticipation, he found out she had invited a few friends along. and yes, he ended up paying for the lot and yes, when the meal was over so was the date. she really enjoyed dining out for free and treating her friends. and then heading home alone.

There must be more mugs around than I thought.

[longtom]

Quote

If you only go out with Thais for 'honey' than that's the truth. Some people go out with Thais for other reasons.

 

27 minutes ago, catman20 said:

other reasons.............................what like a good chat ? 

 

Yeah sure. I love to go out with the local fisherman and have a chat about classic greek literature, Sartre's existentialism or the price of wine in Chile. 

 

[NoshowJones]

5 hours ago, djayz said:

Couldn't be bothered watching the video to the end, but from my experience it seems to be the person who is deemed to have the higher status and or more money foots the tab - irrespective of whether it's a farang or Thai. I have been out to a few really good dinners where a Thai paid the bill. 

I suppose it depends a lot on WHO you go out to dinner with...

 

Is it not the case the he/she who does the inviting pays the bill.

[scorecard]

5 hours ago, Lamkyong said:

surprised no one  has elaborated on the ladyboy aspect yet

 

 

god they were uggs

 

 

I will. My Thai son has a brother in law who is a middle aged full on lady boy. First time he joined us (my son, his wife and kids and me) at a more expensive Japanese restaurant he ordered numerous expensive dishes for himself plus ordered about 5 expensive dishes to be boxed to carry out, all ordered with arrogance and speaking rudely to the young waiter. (All based on l/boy b-i-l  analysis that my son (his sisters husband) has a western family name and his father is a farang therefore father and son very rich, therefore automatically no limit on the bill.)

 

My son quickly asked his l/boy b-i-l what he was doing, he responded 'for my friends'. Son quickly cancelled everything already ordered and then ordered 4 or 5 mid price dishes for share, and told the waiter to ask his permission before accepting any further orders by anybody at the table.

 

L/boy b-i-l then made a snide comment about my son being keeneow (stingy). Son responded with 'you can pay 20% of the bill'. Son did a quick calculation and asked l/boy b-i-l immediately for 150Baht cash and son insisted. L/boy b-i-l never rocked the boat ever again. 

[DavisH]

5 hours ago, ezzra said:

Rule of thumb in Thailand when going out with Thais  family members to eat and drink,

( her family members, and a number of them too, smelling a free grub )

is to be fully prepared to fork for the bill, and leave a handsome tip so not to

embarrass the GF/wify and save face, of you be labeled a major Ki Ni Yao Farang....

 

It often depends on the income / status of the payer. We will occasionally pay for the wife's family, and sometimes the brother-in-law (who also has a good income. With a doctor friend of ours, we often alternate. But if you invite, you would be expected to pay. None of this farang pays all BS for me. 

[scorecard]

15 minutes ago, Suradit69 said:

Whenever I've eaten at a Thai friend's home he/they have paid for everything. Never had them present me with a "check bin" at the end of the meal.

 

 

Here's another point, 40 years ago if you were invited to a Thai house (not very common) for a meal it was rude to take a bottle of wine or any other contribution to the meal. It was taken as a direct comment that the host needs help to put on a meal. It was considered quite insulting.

 

 

[seancbk]

15 minutes ago, KarenBravo said:

 

Sounds like you are promoting a "snobbish" agenda.

Are you, yourself a snob, that avoids poor people?

I certainly don't go out of my way to make friends with people who are not even close to me on a socio economic or educational level.

Someone who is poor might be a nice person, but I'm not going to have anything in common with them, no shared experiences or shared interests.

It not being snobbish, it's being realistic.

 

 

[Mansell]

1 hour ago, SaintLouisBlues said:

Thai etiquette is that if you invite people, you pay, if they invite you, they pay

With my wife and her family whomever invites pays. Been out with her nephew and his family at his invitation and he paid for everyone. Next time I paid because I invited them. Invited wife's son and family for dinner, and they declined....seemed they preferred their own company. I find it a bit ridiculous if I or a Thai invite 20 people to eat the individual is expected to pay. That rule needs to go bye bye very soon. Most of the time food is pretty inexpensive here unless you hang with hi soi.

[mettech]

I have two good friend a couple of course and they both work for the government  and we decide to go for dinner we know who's turn to pay it is because we discuss it before hand.

Of course what we ear always farangs are rich or they being call cheap charley but it is ok  it is all good.

[Mitkof Island]

29 minutes ago, lormakmak said:

wow I read some of these replies and wonder if people actually had any life in the western world before Thailand.... piss takers come in all shapes and sizes and in the UK if you set yourself up as a chump you'll get taken as one.... same applies to US, Europe etc....

 

some do need to get their heads round the fact that they aren't very attractive to these girls and old enough to be their fathers.... be realistic and whatever goes on it shouldn't shock or upset you!

you think that perhaps putting the bottle down for more than an hour might help?

[scorecard]

4 minutes ago, DavisH said:

 

It often depends on the income / status of the payer. We will occasionally pay for the wife's family, and sometimes the brother-in-law (who also has a good income. With a doctor friend of ours, we often alternate. But if you invite, you would be expected to pay. None of this farang pays all BS for me. 

 

 

As said above, in Thai culture if you invite you are automatically saying that you will pay the bill.

 

 

A twist, we often ask my son and his wife's best friends (they are husband and wife, very sincere and friendly and respectfull and have very limited income) to a nice meal and we pay the bill.

 

But what always happens quickly, the friends turn up with a pile of not expensive but good Thai foods and cook a wonderful meal at our house for all. 

 

It's their way of saying thank you. In fact a nice balance.

[i claudius]

I can only really comment on my wifes family , but if i am invited out whoever does the inviting pays , just like if i invite them out i pay ,

[Mansell]

3 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

 

As said above, in Thai culture if you invite you are automatically saying that you will pay the bill.

 

 

A twist, we often ask my son and his wife's best friends (they are husband and wife, very sincere and friendly and respectfull and have very limited income) to a nice meal and we pay the bill.

 

But what always happens quickly, the friends turn up with a pile of not expensive but good Thai foods and cook a wonderful meal at our house for all. 

 

It's their way of saying thank you. In fact a nice balance.

I like it.....classy people. Which goes to show you don't need to have money to have class. Thanks for posting a positive account of Thai people.

[seancbk]

1 minute ago, Mansell said:

I like it.....classy people. Which goes to show you don't need to have money to have class. Thanks for posting a positive account of Thai people.

 

I've been lucky perhaps but all the Thais I've had reason to interact with socially have been like this.   Nice people, who wouldn't dream of taking advantage.

I read these stories of people being treated like mugs and can't imagine what sort of people they are mixing with, or why they are mixing with them in the first place.

 

[KarenBravo]

Common ground? How about our shared humanity?

You do know that uneducated doesn't mean stupid, right?

Seems you are living proof that an education doesn't make you smart.

[Mitkof Island]

5 minutes ago, seancbk said:

 

I've been lucky perhaps but all the Thais I've had reason to interact with socially have been like this.   Nice people, who wouldn't dream of taking advantage.

I read these stories of people being treated like mugs and can't imagine what sort of people they are mixing with, or why they are mixing with them in the first place.

 

bar girls maybe ? bar girls tend to =low class= low class foreigner

[smotherb]

6 hours ago, KarenBravo said:

When this happens and you realise you are being used by a woman and her mates, start ordering the most expensive items on the menu.

Once you have finished your tender, Wagyu steak, excuse yourself to either go to the toilet, or have a cigarette in the parking lot.

Then, do a runner leaving all the people that played you for a fool with a massive bill.

why not just pay for your own bill?

[autoc]

Yes I always pay !

But as I never eat with anyone it's ok !

 

:-)

 

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, lormakmak said:

some do need to get their heads round the fact that they aren't very attractive to these girls and old enough to be their fathers.... be realistic and whatever goes on it shouldn't shock or upset you!

 

32 minutes ago, Mitkof Island said:

you think that perhaps putting the bottle down for more than an hour might help?

 

I dunno

He makes a fair point

A hot, sexy woman is hardly going to showcase a bald, chubby farang who can barely string a sentence together in Thai to her friends or family as some sort of catch, is she?

There's got to be some sort of benefit for his presence and footing the bill for an entourage qualifies as one.

Some guys do tend to overrate themselves somewhat.

[elliss]

1 hour ago, Kabula said:

 

 

Warning....if you invite a Thai friend to lunch or dinner be sure to say, "come alone."  If their friends show up or the entire family, tell them before you order they are paying as they were not invited.  Then ask for separate bins. ?

 

       No  problem ,

 if uninvited  guests turn  up  for a freebie ,

  be  welcoming and polite ,  while they are munching  away

           slip to the john ,  and do a runner .

          

Edited December 2, 2016 by elliss

[whaleboneman]

1 hour ago, seancbk said:

 

When I arrived in Bangkok a female friend invited me to dinner.   We went the The Face, which is considered pretty good.

Dinner for two, with a couple of vodkas and a bottle of wine came  to a quite reasonable 8000 baht.

She paid for dinner as she had invited me.

I can't imagine a restaurant where the meal is less than 150 baht per person!!!

 

You need to get out more. Some of the best meals i've had in thailand have been under 100 baht. when i first came here in 1975, i ate at street stalls for all my meals. on the last night, i decided to splurge on a "walled" restaurant. biggest disappointment of my trip.

[dotpoom]

7 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

a few years ago i was buying a ticket at a nearby travel agent, the girl working there was attractive and a little flirty so i remembered her. i then stated to see her around the local restaurants with foreigners and various friends. i later found out that she liked to get customers to take her out for dinner, when the guy turned up for the dinner date, full of anticipation, he found out she had invited a few friends along. and yes, he ended up paying for the lot and yes, when the meal was over so was the date. she really enjoyed dining out for free and treating her friends. and then heading home alone.

I never understand these stories....same happened me one time, made a date with a lady, she turned up with one friend. I asked her why she brought her friend along without asking me, got no answer, so I just left them in the restaurant and walked away....easy, no problem?

    Call it etiquette if you want... if your naive enough to go for that stuff...to me it's just..... "trying it on".

[whaleboneman]

1 hour ago, soalbundy said:

Yes, the one with higher status pays, as a farang that means you. I have seen Thais argue for the honour of paying.

Finally, the correct answer. I'd like to start this system in Canada as we're mostly poorer than the tourists.

[seancbk]

22 minutes ago, KarenBravo said:

Common ground? How about our shared humanity?

You do know that uneducated doesn't mean stupid, right?

Seems you are living proof that an education doesn't make you smart.

You've just proven you don't read carefully.

I clearly stated  "Someone who is poor might be a nice person, but I'm not going to have anything in common with them, no shared experiences or shared interests."   

I don't look down on people just because they are not as fortunate as me or as well educated, but if the gulf between us is too wide there is very little we'd have in common.

Aside from the fact that we probably wouldn't meet in the first place, why would I try to start a friendship with them? 

 

Do you go round trying to mix socially with food vendors in Bangkok (for example)?    Sawadee Khrup Khun sliced fruit vendor, what time do you knock off?   Fancy going to a farang pub with me for some food that costs more than you make in a day and some beers that cost 200 baht a pint?

How many Thai friends do you have who are from the poorer levels of Thai society?    How often do you go out with them and a group of your expat buddies?    Do you all get along?


As I said, it's about being realistic.   



 

[The Dark Lord]

In my experience of life (before marriage) a certain GF turned up for a noteable nosebag with her hum. I ended up with the bill but I got paid back later as we all squeezed into my hotel  bed

 

moral being if they dine off you, you dine off them......

 

thats irrespective of nationality

[whaleboneman]

53 minutes ago, seancbk said:

I certainly don't go out of my way to make friends with people who are not even close to me on a socio economic or educational level.

Someone who is poor might be a nice person, but I'm not going to have anything in common with them, no shared experiences or shared interests.

It not being snobbish, it's being realistic.

 

 

I kind of wonder why you're hanging out with us?