Intellectual Whore

[stament]

11 minutes ago, mesquite said:

 

 

See post 81

yep, saw that later after my post. I have a bad habit of replying before I finish reading all posts.. Am I bad?

 

Gents, be careful not to approach attractive western women in the Immigration queue. ?

[cyberfarang]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

 

Cyberfarang, in your replies on this thread to the women who have posted, you really do come across as someone who thinks that western women shouldn't be granted long-term visas to remain in Thailand.  You do like to hide behind your keyboard and attack women, don't you?

 

Plus, you obviously lack reading comprehension skills, too, or else you would have realized that I wrote about my experience in having western men starting conversations with me was "When we first came here I used to study Thai sometimes in Kad Suan Kaew"   and have remembered that I wrote " If the guy was interesting and I had nothing better to do, I might chose to talk with him".

 

I'm not a fraud at all.  In fact, it was through these interchanges that I realized many retired guys here lack an outlet for social activities.  You know, I haven't been president of CEC forever.  Part of why I asked Dave if he could increase Breakfast Club from once-a-month to twice a month after I became president of CEC was because I knew there were many retirees interested in good food and a chance to get together to talk, in an environment that doesn't involve alcohol.  Ditto on setting up the category of "Community Sponsors" and promoting "Outside Group Activities" so that retirees can get involved in activities and give back to the community.  

 

I don't have a "low opinion" of the member of CEC or how they live their lives.   Those early years seeing and talking with the lonely guys with Thai wives at KSK helped me to realize there was a need for CEC to be doing more than it was at the time.

I do not think that western women shouldn't be granted long-term visas to remain in Thailand, I am only asking if these women believe they cannot fit in, have a low regard and cannot particularly relate to Farlang men and Thai women, then why bother coming here? So it seems you are the one who has a  lack reading comprehension skills.

 

I`ll ask the same question again, what do these women expect once they start living in Thailand? Because judging by their comments, they sound like a lot of old frustrated spinsters to me.

Edited January 14, 2017 by cyberfarang

[true blue]

Elderly women on there own do not fit in to Thai culture in any aspect .feel sorry for them must be pretty lonely.i mean even older Thai ladies generally revert back to the village.chaing Mai is a young population city and hard to find things to do especially after 2 glasses of wine.

 

[amykat]

8 hours ago, impulse said:

 

Perhaps the OP is finally getting a dose of what we, as average Joe's, have gotten all our lives.  Women we're attracted to -even Platonically) putting us in the "friend zone", but more than a little eager to cry about how the bad boy she's currently dating screwing is mistreating her.   The sex is amazing, but there's something missing that she seeks outside the relationship.  

 

The analogous "bad boys" here in Thailand are Thai women.   The sex is amazing, but....

 

Edit: We didn't refer to ourselves as "intellectual whores", though.  "Friendly eunuch" is the preferred term.

 

 

I with you impulse ..except that I have some male friends here  ..a few from back home that I have known forever, and they tell me the truth ...their sex life sucks! The ones in committed, long term relationships at least.  They don't seem to have anything happy going on at all.

[amykat]

2 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

I do not think that western women shouldn't be granted long-term visas to remain in Thailand, I am only asking if these women believe they cannot fit in, have a low regard and cannot particularly relate to Farlang men and Thai women, then why bother coming here? So it seems you are the one who has a  lack reading comprehension skills.

 

I`ll ask the same question again, what do these women expect once they start living in Thailand? Because judging by their comments, they sound like a lot of old frustrated spinsters to me.

 

Well, one doesn't know until they have lived here for awhile do they?  I knew a lot of men lived here and I have always liked to have male friends personally so I thought that would be perfect for me. I also knew that I did not want to date or be in any relationships, again perfect ..as I knew you men were here for the Thai women. I could also figure out that those women could not talk to you.  I thought you men would run the show. I thought you would  have free time as do I.   I thought I would find people to travel with and hang out with as I have in my past life, before Thailand.

 

What I did NOT know ...men here hate Western women.  Thai women run the show.  Thai women do not allow friendships with other women.  I have more money than most Western men here and what money you do have gets sucked away to your Thai ladies and their family so you cannot afford to do anything with me.  I seem not to have much in common with 80% of the kind of men who chose Thailand as a place to live ..those were not the kind of male friends I had in the past.

 

You men have nothing in common with Thai women and neither do I  ...so why would you expect that.  In fact you have more than I do, simply because you are having sex with them and children and family maybe and I am not.

 

I did not come here for SEX with anyone, therefore I am not a frustrated old spinster ...

 

 

[Rhys]

Move on... many things to do and see, rather than to concern yourself with this.. time of your life... carry on.. cheers 

[cyberfarang]

3 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

Well, one doesn't know until they have lived here for awhile do they?  I knew a lot of men lived here and I have always liked to have male friends personally so I thought that would be perfect for me. I also knew that I did not want to date or be in any relationships, again perfect ..as I knew you men were here for the Thai women. I could also figure out that those women could not talk to you.  I thought you men would run the show. I thought you would  have free time as do I.   I thought I would find people to travel with and hang out with as I have in my past life, before Thailand.

 

What I did NOT know ...men here hate Western women.  Thai women run the show.  Thai women do not allow friendships with other women.  I have more money than most Western men here and what money you do have gets sucked away to your Thai ladies and their family so you cannot afford to do anything with me.  I seem not to have much in common with 80% of the kind of men who chose Thailand as a place to live ..those were not the kind of male friends I had in the past.

 

You men have nothing in common with Thai women and neither do I  ...so why would you expect that.  In fact you have more than I do, simply because you are having sex with them and children and family maybe and I am not.

 

I did not come here for SEX with anyone, therefore I am not a frustrated old spinster ...

 

 

Bunkum.

 

I know lots of Farlang men that are in stable relationships with Thai women, married or partnerships, would never want to stay off and have been together for years, including me. I know many Farlang men that have Farlang wives here and in perfectly normal relationships living here together as normal married couples. Some are elderly others in their 30s and 40s. So ask yourself, why would any men in good relationships want to meet and socialise with other women?

 

There are Farlangs living here both men and women that I have nothing in common with, but that was the same for me in England, that`s how life is, some people we clique with others we don`t.

 

If you really believe that most Farlang males staying in Thailand are sex junkies, hate western women, most Thai women are gold digging money grabbers, then all I can say is;  you must be very unhappy staying in Thailand if you assume and stereotype people as all being be one of the same. 

 

If you are seeking the types of relationships with people you had in the past you are going to be very disappointed in Thailand. It`s different for me, for you and probably for most other expats in Thailand. Sorry, but I think your expectations of what you thought you may have found in Thailand are too high and if you want to hang out with people and other people to want to hang out with you, then you have to come down to Earth and change your outlook otherwise you`re never find contentment here.

 

 

[true blue]

49 minutes ago, amykat said:

 

Well, one doesn't know until they have lived here for awhile do they?  I knew a lot of men lived here and I have always liked to have male friends personally so I thought that would be perfect for me. I also knew that I did not want to date or be in any relationships, again perfect ..as I knew you men were here for the Thai women. I could also figure out that those women could not talk to you.  I thought you men would run the show. I thought you would  have free time as do I.   I thought I would find people to travel with and hang out with as I have in my past life, before Thailand.

 

What I did NOT know ...men here hate Western women.  Thai women run the show.  Thai women do not allow friendships with other women.  I have more money than most Western men here and what money you do have gets sucked away to your Thai ladies and their family so you cannot afford to do anything with me.  I seem not to have much in common with 80% of the kind of men who chose Thailand as a place to live ..those were not the kind of male friends I had in the past.

 

You men have nothing in common with Thai women and neither do I  ...so why would you expect that.  In fact you have more than I do, simply because you are having sex with them and children and family maybe and I am not.

 

I did not come here for SEX with anyone, therefore I am not a frustrated old spinster ...

 

 

Certainly sounds like one with that post.all that money and only 2 glasses of wine.get a bottle down u never know u might pull.

[HooHaa]

1 hour ago, true blue said:

Certainly sounds like one with that post.all that money and only 2 glasses of wine.get a bottle down u never know u might pull.

 

The hale fellows of thaivisag seem to have a little difficulty discerning exactly who is who.

[Flanno]

10 hours ago, Simbaya said:

OK, 

 

Reply time.  I'm not a troll, and my experiences are real.

 

I think I included information about my appearance for three reasons:

 

1)  In an anonymous forum, I can be honest.  "Humble-bragging, " I'm afraid, is a fair counter-point, and I'm taking that one to heart.  But I included this info to paint a picture of who I am: not "old-old," fairly attractive, and someone who is approachable-looking.  I am not one of those ladies in baggy clothes who are almost the fraternal twins of the old, sloppy dudes we see every day.

 

2) I am a bit of a rare breed here: Single/ younger than most retirees.  I don't see many of "me" here.  Again, trying to paint a picture.

 

3) Wine--two glasses.  MIld disinhibition.  There, I said it!  But I also wrote my truth .

 

A couple of posters asked if these were the same men--those that disparage, and those that seek mental stimulation.  NO, not the same men, but (and this is a big leap, and a generalization, to be sure), they are *potentially* the same men.  

 

Many expat men left their country of origin to seek out a Thai wife or girlfriend.  IMO, some men here show a palpable, simmering disrespect for the women of their homeland.  A poster said I was projecting; however, I have often been projected on by Western men here.

 

I know many Thai wives or girlfriends would not mind their partner making a coffee date to chat--but I suspect many would not like it one bit!  This is why if feels like a form of cheating.

 

Think of the opposite situation:  a man is married to his cultural and intellectual counterpart, but seeks out "sexy time" with someone else.  Without moralizing, many would see this as a form of cheating--unless they had an agreement about extramarital relationships.  

 

Now flip it back:  A Western man is married to a Thai woman.  This woman shops, cleans, cooks and provides physical pleasure.  But something is missing....  And when I say "intellectual," please understand I am not denigrating Thai wives/GFs--I simply mean that said Western man misses talking about politics, current events, etc., that may not hold interest for his Thai partner.

 

And here is the dichotomy (IMO):  Contempt for, yet a lingering attraction to the Western woman.

 

Two last things (and this, probably, will be my final post on this thread).

 

A poster made a comment that straight women seeking out gay men was parallel to the relationships I've alleged.  WOW.  Yes--right, right right!  I am guilty as charged, and have some serious soul-searching to do.

 

Last, Nancy L--you underestimate your beauty!  You are one good-looking woman.   A lady who does facials back in US told me something I'll never forget:  true beauty resides in the eyes and smile.  Therefore, true beauty is timeless.

 

Nancy, you have true beauty in spades!

 

'Night all.

 

 

I have read and re read this post a number times and can only come to one conclusion. That is, it is written by a western women, living in Chiang Mai who has a very large chip on her shoulder about western men in general. Most of the post is meaningless and is utter nonsense!

[Scott]

Per request, this thread is:

 

//CLOSED//

 

Sadly, this could have been a much more interesting discussion.  

[Scott]

Reopened by request, however, please keep it civil. 

[sharktooth]

Eh? Is there now a feature to close and open threads on a whim?

[terminatorchiangmai]

Now flip it back:  A Western man is married to a Thai woman.  This woman shops, cleans, cooks and provides physical pleasure.  But something is missing....  And when I say "intellectual," please understand I am not denigrating Thai wives/GFs--I simply mean that said Western man misses talking about politics, current events, etc., that may not hold interest for his Thai partner.

 

 

For that we go to the bar and talk with our buddy's !

[Dante99]

16 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Again... "I am." "I said." "I wrote."  And yet I still don't have any idea of just what it is you are saying. From the varying responses by other women who seem to be agreeing, yet agreeing to very different things than those you are mentioning, it seems they, too, really don't have a clear idea of what it is that you want to get across.  Female solidarity is keeping them in your corner, but it doesn't seem to be the same corner that you are talking about.

 

Do you want men to talk to you?  Do they have to be single men, or can married men talk to you as well?  Can they discuss serious issues, or does the conversation have be banal? Do you really believe that all farang men over the age of 60 came here looking for sex? Fact is, even in America or England, it's easy to get laid. No need to come all the way to Thailand for that. But it's damn hard to find someone you want to talk with afterwards. Even in America or England. Probably harder here.  Can you tell us? Just what is it that you want?

 

I too am not clear about what she wants.

 

If I encounter her someplace and ignore her she will think I am antognistic towards female farangs, perhaps silently calling her a fat pig, and if I speak with her she will think I want her to be my whore.

 

An old friend once told me they are all witches!

[Trujillo]

What is, "not 'old-old,'"?

What are we talking about here? In my mind, there are no sexually attractive 55-year-old foreign women anywhere in the world. 

 

By the way, if this isn't a fake, then I am wondering what sort of not old-old woman comes to retire in Thailand ALONE. What could be the fascination to be a middle-aged woman alone in Chiang Mai, and one who feels put upon by men wanting to chat with her? 

There is a subtext here somewhere....

[jpinx]

13 minutes ago, Dante99 said:

I too am not clear about what she wants.

 

If I encounter her someplace and ignore her she will think I am antognistic towards female farangs, perhaps silently calling her a fat pig, and if I speak with her she will think I want her to be my whore.

 

An old friend once told me they are all witches!

Men are from Mars et seq,,,,,    Being away from the home culture environment enhances peoples feelings of insecurity and "different-ness".  Take the same people back into their home country and culture and the conversation would probably go in other directions

Edited January 15, 2017 by jpinx

[canuckamuck]

12 hours ago, amykat said:

 

Well, one doesn't know until they have lived here for awhile do they?  I knew a lot of men lived here and I have always liked to have male friends personally so I thought that would be perfect for me. I also knew that I did not want to date or be in any relationships, again perfect ..as I knew you men were here for the Thai women. I could also figure out that those women could not talk to you.  I thought you men would run the show. I thought you would  have free time as do I.   I thought I would find people to travel with and hang out with as I have in my past life, before Thailand.

 

What I did NOT know ...men here hate Western women.  Thai women run the show.  Thai women do not allow friendships with other women.  I have more money than most Western men here and what money you do have gets sucked away to your Thai ladies and their family so you cannot afford to do anything with me.  I seem not to have much in common with 80% of the kind of men who chose Thailand as a place to live ..those were not the kind of male friends I had in the past.

 

You men have nothing in common with Thai women and neither do I  ...so why would you expect that.  In fact you have more than I do, simply because you are having sex with them and children and family maybe and I am not.

 

I did not come here for SEX with anyone, therefore I am not a frustrated old spinster ...

 

 

Amy made some really good points here, I bolded the best of it. She is right that the establishment of a traditional domestic arrangement in Thailand really does come with a price. But let's face it many of those conditions apply to western marriages too.  

Of course in the west you can build a different social life among sympatico people, you just have to make sure it includes the wife. In Thailand this is a much more difficult task, and if you aren't fluent in Thai it becomes near impossible.

So I believe the malls of full of folks who are starved for conversation. But I strongly disagree that they are cheating on their wives by looking for what they can't get at home. Fidelity is about sex and loyalty, nothing to do with intellectual needs.

 

Edited January 15, 2017 by canuckamuck

[lkn]

16 minutes ago, Trujillo said:

[…] I am wondering what sort of not old-old woman comes to retire in Thailand ALONE. What could be the fascination to be a middle-aged woman alone in Chiang Mai […]

 

Maybe she has friends here, maybe she likes the weather, the food, the plethora of available fruits, the friendly atmosphere experienced at the markets and elsewhere, how you can treat yourself to semi-daily spa treatments or have a maid without worrying about the costs, the many yoga studios where you can find other older ladies who are interested in staying fit despite being old, and of course Chiang Mai is a good base for travelling around the rest of Asia.

 

Now why do older single men come here to retire? previous posters have already stressed that they are not all here for the women, and if we are to believe the other threads, there are no longer any fun bars for them.

 

[LivinLOS]

17 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Again... "I am." "I said." "I wrote."  And yet I still don't have any idea of just what it is you are saying. From the varying responses by other women who seem to be agreeing, yet agreeing to very different things than those you are mentioning, it seems they, too, really don't have a clear idea of what it is that you want to get across.  Female solidarity is keeping them in your corner, but it doesn't seem to be the same corner that you are talking about.

 

 

This seems the main issue I have with the posts / thread / most of the female contributions to it.. 

 

Obviously something is upsetting them, and they seem to agree with each other.. But none have yet articulated the problem in a way I can understand. 

 

Is the problem men coming up and starting conversations ?? Thats wrong somehow ??

Is the problem men dont come up and start conversations ?? 

Is the problem the men who come up and start conversations are the wrong men somehow ??
Leading to the right ones are there, they just dont start conversations or the rights ones are not there ?? 

 

Still baffled.. 

[canuckamuck]

52 minutes ago, lkn said:

 

Now why do older single men come here to retire? previous posters have already stressed that they are not all here for the women, and if we are to believe the other threads, there are no longer any fun bars for them.

 

Obviously you have never experienced a Canadian winter.

[LivinLOS]

14 hours ago, amykat said:

 

I with you impulse ..except that I have some male friends here  ..a few from back home that I have known forever, and they tell me the truth ...their sex life sucks! The ones in committed, long term relationships at least.  They don't seem to have anything happy going on at all.

 

 

I would say thats very unusual because its such a fixable problem.. 

[Chicog]

1 hour ago, amykat said:

I did not say anywhere in my post, that most farangs here are sex junkies ..or anything else that YOU stated ..no matter what I think. In YOUR posts, you quite often ASSUME you know what we Western women think about all of you Western men here and that YOU know what we are thinking about ourselves.

 

And yet ironically you claim to know all about farang men and Thai women with generalisations like this:

 

Quote

What I did NOT know ...men here hate Western women.  Thai women run the show.  Thai women do not allow friendships with other women.

 

I'm sure some men here may hate Western women. Perhaps they've had bad experiences in the past.

I also know plenty of Thai women that are friends with farang women here, and where it is the case, are intelligent enough to realise that they are no threat to their own relationships with farang men.

I suspect you've seen a microcosm of the people around you and simply made ludicrous assumptions of your own.

 

Most of the Western women I know are smart enough to be able to judge people on their merits not on absurd stereotypes.

That's one of the reasons why I'm friends with them.

[cyberfarang]

33 minutes ago, lkn said:

 

Maybe she has friends here, maybe she likes the weather, the food, the plethora of available fruits, the friendly atmosphere experienced at the markets and elsewhere, how you can treat yourself to semi-daily spa treatments or have a maid without worrying about the costs, the many yoga studios where you can find other older ladies who are interested in staying fit despite being old, and of course Chiang Mai is a good base for travelling around the rest of Asia.

 

Now why do older single men come here to retire? previous posters have already stressed that they are not all here for the women, and if we are to believe the other threads, there are no longer any fun bars for them.

 

Many people around the world are very introverted. They don`t have a need for a circle of friends around them and are content with their own company. When they come to Chiang Mai it`s something like old horses being let out onto the grazing fields for the final stages of their lives.

 

They are capable of making their own enjoyments, touring the country, sight seeing, visiting interesting places and contrary to what many western women believe, bars and women do not always enter into their recreational activities and have no thoughts or feelings about western women one way or another. In retrospect they are very much into themselves and happy with that, which for people who are not loners or not introverted they can seem to be a bit weird, the attitudes of these people taken the wrong way and misunderstood. The same may apply to older western women living here. Introverts can also be married and the couples firmly locked into their own worlds, only branching out of their comfort zones on rare occasions. It is difficult to progress past the acquaintance levels with introverts. 

 

But it takes all sorts to make a world and it is about creating lifestyles for ourselves with things that make us happy and just getting on with it, not concerning ourselves with what others are doing and how other people feel about us and how they conduct their lives.

[true blue]

You come to the most sexed up ..country in the world.and you expect some dumbo to look you in the eyes and have a conversation about brexit 

[canthai55]

1 hour ago, Trujillo said:

In my mind, there are no sexually attractive 55-year-old foreign women anywhere in the world. 

 

There might be one here -

https://www.google.co.th/search?q=beautiful+women+over+55&client=firefox-b&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjkxMmSzsPRAhUEMY8KHed3ADsQ7AkIKg&biw=1467&bih=703

[canthai55]

Most peoples opinions are formed by their life experiences. In that case, the ones you have had in LOS have not seemed to be too pleasant for you.  There are many great people here - of all nationalities and sexes. The inverse is also true - same as anywhere. Look for nothing, expect nothing - and you will be pleasantly surprised when that special someone comes into your life. Friend, Lover, Partner ...

[NancyL]

Someone pointed out on this thread that the OP may be "overthinking" this bit about whether she's acting as an "intellectual whore" by engaging in conversation with a western man near her old age  and providing something his Thai wife cannot.  What if they were having this conversation at a table with others around joining in the conversation during CEC Breakfast Club?  Would this be "whoring"?  I think not.  Now if they "made a date", met someplace private and kept this rendezvous-for-a-chat from his wife and the OP's friends, well, that probably crosses the line.  

 

 

[LivinLOS]

1 hour ago, LivinLOS said:

 

This seems the main issue I have with the posts / thread / most of the female contributions to it.. 

 

Obviously something is upsetting them, and they seem to agree with each other.. But none have yet articulated the problem in a way I can understand. 

 

Is the problem men coming up and starting conversations ?? Thats wrong somehow ??

Is the problem men dont come up and start conversations ?? 

Is the problem the men who come up and start conversations are the wrong men somehow ??
Leading to the right ones are there, they just dont start conversations or the rights ones are not there ?? 

 

Still baffled.. 

 

 

I was pondering this, and I think I may have realized what the problem thats semi articulated is.. 

 

Is it the case of essentially feeling it unfair, that a man may find you mentally attractive, that he may wish to make use of your sharp wit and shared cultural backgrounds to talk and discuss matters.. But then still have ready access to younger attractive partners for his other desires ?? Is that where the 'whore' kind of vibe is coming from, that its 'using you' to satisfy a mental craving, but then not having any desire for a physical one ?? That this is in a way unfair ?? 

 

Is that close to the money ?? 

 

Because that would be somewhat valid if the entire female western world hadnt been complaining of the exact opposite 'oh my god, I thought he wanted to talk about 3rd wave feminism and french cinema and really he just wanted to get into my pants because I have tits.. What a creep'.. I mean if the above is close to the summary it would seem poetic justice as women have held the power of rationed sexuality as standard practice for since, well, forever.. It would also take a very special kind of blindness to not see how rationing the only appeal left (mental) as it should be part of a 'social package' is going to cause increased frustration and isolation for only the side doing the rationing. 

Edited January 15, 2017 by LivinLOS

[cmsally]

Posts removed that get too personal. Try to stay off the personal stuff and keep the discussion civil.