Intervening in a financially problematic family situation

[Hal65]

The mother is a money nagger or the father is a chronic gambler. Or the brother likes moto-racing. How do you best approach the girlfriend or the family about this early to both manage expectations correctly and protect her/the family member/your own interests? 

Edited February 2, 2017 by Hal65

[boike]

Don't it will all be your fault.

Sent from my XT1572 using Tapatalk

[Hal65]

Just now, boike said:

Don't it will all be your fault.

Sent from my XT1572 using Tapatalk
 

Avoidance now seems like an inevitable setup for blame later. Best to set the code of conduct from the beginning IMO.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Avoidance now seems like an inevitable setup for blame later. Best to set the code of conduct from the beginning IMO.

Ridiculous

[Hal65]

Just now, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Ridiculous

 

 

Well you can try staying silent while the dad does his thing on poker night. Surely he'll keep winning right? And if he should take a heavy loss, I'm sure no one will look to you. After all this is Thai society and asking for money creates a loss of face

[theguyfromanotherforum]

 
Well you can try staying silent while the dad does his thing on poker night. Surely he'll keep winning right? And if he should take a heavy loss, I'm sure no one will look to you. After all this is Thai society and asking for money creates a loss of face

You can't change these people. I wouldn't get involved. It's crap that will only cost you your health.

[Hal65]

Having a GF throws on the hooks whether we like it or not. I really disagree with this idea to pretend those hooks aren't there and pray for the best. 

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, Hal65 said:

 

Well you can try staying silent while the dad does his thing on poker night. Surely he'll keep winning right? And if he should take a heavy loss, I'm sure no one will look to you. After all this is Thai society and asking for money creates a loss of face

If what your saying is from the ground up your FIL are a bunch of irresponsible people who have habits they cannot afford. I'd move away from them and make visits a rarity. I have a similar issue with mrs brother and my solution is to limit our visit's and make zero contributions to them. The family are good but this lads not a complete waste of space but no one's tackling the issue so my issue is why are we making plans on a farm that after the old man, seems to have no future.

 

Failing that i'll find a translator and take him on a jolly far far away and bluntly tell him to man up or continue to lose the respect of all his siblings.

 

Bar that guy it's ok but without him on board there's no future for the farm her dad dearly loves.

[sanemax]

Just give the Family everything that you've got, and go to Pattaya and become an alcoholic .

   You may as well get it done immediately, rather than making a long drawn out process