How to deal with an antagonistic guy in my

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, Dazinoz said:

he didn't say American or Swedish or german or any other nationality he targeted British and Australians specifically. 

Last time I looked, most Americans, most Swedes and most Germans are similarly blighted as most British and most Australians when it comes to their race.

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, transam said:

Yes, tell the kids they must be nice to him, give him a Wai and say hello Mr.Pratt....

Once again, gold trans, pure gold.

[NanLaew]

2 hours ago, alex8912 said:

Stupid advise. Do you think these two are the only ones in this housing pool area?  Your piece of advise will make others pissed off at him and his kids. I hope you are just being sarcastic. 

What part of 'encourage the kids to be especially rowdy 'when they see him', to use it loudly 'when they see him' and 'whenever he's in earshot' did you gloss over? Unless of course it is one of those special Thai village pools where all the residents are always using the pool all of the time... like some sort of Copacabana Beach?

 

Thanks for the sarcasm acknowledgment. Yes, it's a frequent feature in my TV fusillades but funnily enough, not in the post you refer to.

[Dazinoz]

13 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

Last time I looked, most Americans, most Swedes and most Germans are similarly blighted as most British and most Australians when it comes to their race.

Ummmm. I only saw him mention the British and Australians. 

[maxcorrigan]

19 minutes ago, Dazinoz said:

Ummmm. I only saw him mention the British and Australians. 

I think the original poster mentioning "British or Australian" is British, so how that equates with being racist i'm not sure!

[NanLaew]

24 minutes ago, Dazinoz said:

Ummmm. I only saw him mention the British and Australians. 

Yes, someone else brought up the issue of race and subsequently you introduced the Americans, Swedish and Germans to the pool party. To be perfectly honest, I have no clue why you did that but unless some members are hugely ignorant of the fundamental definition of race, I am quite frankly at a loss where this friendly but otherwise pointless discourse is all leading.

 

6 minutes ago, maxcorrigan said:

I think the original poster mentioning "British or Australian" is British, so how that equates with being racist i'm not sure!

You too eh?

[Dazinoz]

11 minutes ago, maxcorrigan said:

I think the original poster mentioning "British or Australian" is British, so how that equates with being racist i'm not sure!

Read post #27

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, MISTEEIED said:

The police are reticent to  be involved,in such a matter, esp westerner V westerner, except, maybe if i was severely beaten up, and even then, apparently , action is fairly unlikely.

Anyway, back to the grind now, lunch is over.

But it isn't westerner Vs westerner, it's elderly westerner abusing/threatening a Thai child ........ which is of course the stance the MOTHER should have taken when reporting it  to the police. Quite frankly you have no part in this game, your sleeping with the kid's mum doesn't make you dad.

 

Your only part with the police should have been as a witness after the complaint had been made.

 

How would I have dealt with it?

Foreigner shouts at me about someone else's kid, my reply, "Sorry, not my son, you need to speak to his mother or policeman father, next time dad visits, I'll tell him you want to speak with him" and walk away.

Edited November 2, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[Rimmer]

A post has been removed, can we stop the bickering and baiting now please and continue to help the OP with his problem, thank you.

[Mac98]

1) Never say anything to provoke him

2) Buy your boy scuba gear.

3) Tape an ad for a moving company to his door.

4) Always keep a baseball bat beside your deck chair.

- Good luck!

[scottiejohn]

What I have found to be effective in the past is that a chat with the immediate neighbours of the offender (either side and over the road) can really give you a few pointers as to how they deal with him, assuming they have had similar problems. If the solution(s) worked for them it/they may work for you.

[Happy Grumpy]

3 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

However, what you just wrote clearly identifies you as someone who jumps to negative conclusions, someone who doesn't like kids - Happy Grumpy? I'm not sure about the happy part, the Grumpy part yes... that clearly comes across in your post...  perhaps a bit sour and bitter too... 

I think we found the guy the OP is complaining about.

 

 

[NanLaew]

16 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

What I have found to be effective in the past is that a chat with the immediate neighbours of the offender (either side and over the road) can really give you a few pointers as to how they deal with him, assuming they have had similar problems. If the solution(s) worked for them it/they may work for you.

Sound advice and if the near neighbors advise yes, he is a dick but no, they just ignore him, then the OP has all the answers he needs. On the other hand, if they suggest that they still have ongoing issues, then you have the start of the 'battle group' required to take this to the juristic person and beyond if required.

 

Agreed that nobody really likes confrontation and if anyone considered that any of my earlier tactical warfare suggestions were in any way practical, let alone advisable and required reprimand, than that is entirely their problem.

Edited November 2, 2017 by NanLaew

[Pilotman]

I've got to say that you need to stand up to these kind of pricks.  No need to actually fight with him,  he just needs to think that you will and think that you are slightly unhinged. Shout at him, swear at him, call him every kind of moron you can think of.  Of course, you do run the risk that he is actually as deranged as you are trying to appear, but that doesn't  really happen much.  Works most times with western idiots, not so much with Thais!!

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Foreigner shouts at me about someone else's kid, my reply, "Sorry, not my son, you need to speak to his mother or policeman father, next time dad visits, I'll tell him you want to speak with him" and walk away.

He can't do that as he is in charge of the kid. 

He is "in loco parentis" ie; Assuming parental or custodial responsibility and authority. 

 

You are just suggesting he passes the buck.  What about the next confrontation?

[MaeJoMTB]

18 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

He can't do that as he is in charge of the kid. 

He is "in loco parentis" ie; Assuming parental or custodial responsibility and authority. 

He isn't, there is no such thing in Thai law. (Not sure that works in western laws either, mums lover becomes responsible for her kids, cos he's the only adult around?)

 

Which wasn't what I suggested, I suggested he manage the confrontation so it became foreign guy abusing Thai child, in the eyes of the Thai police.

Edited November 2, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[Spaniel]

I think the best advice is to ignore the creep.     

[scottiejohn]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

He isn't, there is no such thing in Thai law. (Not sure that works in western laws either, mums lover becomes responsible for her kids, cos he's the only adult around?)

 

Which wasn't what I suggested, I suggested he manage the confrontation so it became foreign guy abusing Thai child, in the eyes of the Thai police.

I said nothing about the law.

I am talking about the moral responsibility implied in "in loco parentis".

The OP is responsible for that child’s well-being no matter their relationship while that child is in his care.

If the OP does as you suggest and leaves, the child is going to be left alone with the bully.

Do you want that?

I also believe it is wrong for minors to see "so called role models" "square off" in front of them.

I suggest that testosterone is put back on the shelf and some sane advice from people who have lived here a while and experienced these situations make their positive comments without getting embroiled in the semantics of Thai law or offering advise about aggressive behaviour in front of a child.

[FolkGuitar]

47 minutes ago, Spaniel said:

I think the best advice is to ignore the creep.     

 

You usually can't ignore a bully. They won't let you. They will stay in your face as long as you are in the area in order to show that they are stronger than you. You must defuse them by not playing their game.

[MISTEEIED]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

But it isn't westerner Vs westerner, it's elderly westerner abusing/threatening a Thai child ........ which is of course the stance the MOTHER should have taken when reporting it  to the police. Quite frankly you have no part in this game, your sleeping with the kid's mum doesn't make you dad.

 

Your only part with the police should have been as a witness after the complaint had been made.

 

How would I have dealt with it?

Foreigner shouts at me about someone else's kid, my reply, "Sorry, not my son, you need to speak to his mother or policeman father, next time dad visits, I'll tell him you want to speak with him" and walk away.

 Ahmmm wow, really, some of you guys are harder to understand than the guy at my Moo Baan.

You have posted on totally wrong assumptions made by yourself here.

There is no elderly westerner involved ,unless you think mid 40's is elderly.

There is no Thai child involved, so, as in your later post, where you say Thai child being abused ,again, assumptions and wrong ones at that.

As for my sleeping with the childs mum? I am married to her, so you are correct in this one point.

I have adopted this child, so in all matters I am 100% involved,legally and morally.

 

To others i will reiterate.I will not lower myself to his level by name calling, trouble making or taking tough guy stand offs .

Now heading off to management for a talk about this situation.

With all respect,hopefully something a lot more benificial will come of this, than the craziness that has been posted by so many here.

 

[Kadilo]

 Ahmmm wow, really, some of you guys are harder to understand than the guy at my Moo Baan.

You have posted on totally wrong assumptions made by yourself here.

There is no elderly westerner involved ,unless you think mid 40's is elderly.

There is no Thai child involved, so, as in your later post, where you say Thai child being abused ,again, assumptions and wrong ones at that.

As for my sleeping with the childs mum? I am married to her, so you are correct in this one point.

I have adopted this child, so in all matters I am 100% involved,legally and morally.

 

To others i will reiterate.I will not lower myself to his level by name calling, trouble making or taking tough guy stand offs .

Now heading off to management for a talk about this situation.

With all respect,hopefully something a lot more benificial will come of this, than the craziness that has been posted by so many here.

 

Sounds about par for the course. Internet rambos, people making totally wrong assumptions. Good luck. You seem a switched on guy and the decisions you have made so far seem to be on the right path. Best of luck

 

PS it might help if you gave a little more info, saves some second guessing.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[MaeJoMTB]

58 minutes ago, MISTEEIED said:

 Ahmmm wow, really, some of you guys are harder to understand than the guy at my Moo Baan.

 

Why isn't Thai mum  sorting all this out?

 

[Dellboy218]

17 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

The police won`t be in the slightest bit interested. All they`ll do is make a report and the OP will not hear anything else from them. Forget about the locals, they won`t want to know either.

 

Does the OP have any friends or his wife`s family who could accompany the OP to the pool when the thug is there? BTW, bet the guy is either British or Australian. Ask the friends or relatives to stay in the background so that the thug thinks the OP is on his own and just with his kids. Get the wife to run a video, get the kids to make lots of noise, then if the thug makes the first move, gang up on him with the people in his group.

 

That`s about all I can suggest.

 

 

 

 

 

You are mistaken.  If you have a friendly local Policeman problems can be sorted especially if the locals have been upset..  No tea money, No reports, no paperwork, just sorted.

Edited November 2, 2017 by Dellboy218

[Gracas]

OP you should consider yourself lucky to be living is a Moo Baan with only one slightly crazy Farang.

 

You could be in a Mood Baan full of TVF members. You would then look forward to seeing your adversary everyday.

[Foozool]

This is one side story. 

While ago I was drinking my coffee at a local coffee shop in one of soys close to Pasio, Rankhamheang. A farang English speaking man about 65 yo stepped in with his wife (I guess) and 2 kids. The kids were screaming sooo laud and their dad with a proud face was just looking and laughing, haaaa haaaa haaaa. It was just unblieveable to me. I walked out right away. 

OP need to look in mirror and ask himself why such thing should happen? That man never met you before. Perhaps he tries to keep his common living area peaceful as before. 

In addition, 

there are crazy farang are out there as well. Hopefully the problem will be solved peacefully. 

 

 

Edited November 2, 2017 by Foozool

[MISTEEIED]

1 hour ago, Kadilo said:

Sounds about par for the course. Internet rambos, people making totally wrong assumptions. Good luck. You seem a switched on guy and the decisions you have made so far seem to be on the right path. Best of luck

 

PS it might help if you gave a little more info, saves some second guessing.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 Thanks for your words. I believe i am making the right decisions and making haste slowly as they say , without resorting to childishness or thuggery..Yes i am quite astounded by some of the replies, as you say eg rambos etc and wrong assumptions all over. Amazing.

As for giving more info..possibly yes, but i thought i had already given too much, for a realitively simple situation, The nationality and age of the guy, whether or not my wife and step son are Thai or not etc etc are , in my opinion not important or have any bearing on the situation.

Tomorrow i will have all information on the guy and what ,if anything can be done.

[MISTEEIED]

40 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

Why isn't Thai mum  sorting all this out?

 

 Oh dear..persistant aren't you. As i said , my step son is not Thai so there is no Thai mum in my family to sort this out.

[evenstevens]

good evening to the O/P  will do my best to to provide a true incident which i was involved in  which snow balled from  nuffin at all

around 2003   i was  pool member at a 4 star hotel where i used the pool for my lap swimming,,i always used the lane next to the side of the pool  to not interfere  with any other  users of the pool ,,but during my laps a young 7  yr  kid  bomb me  which  frighten the wits out of me, and my arm caught him  as he  finished  his bomb,and i pushed him aside and continue on with my swim,when finished his mother came over and gave me a decent broadside,i tried to explain  to her what actually happen,,but she would have nothing of it and said i assulted her son , btw she did not see the incident,and was acting on second hand  info from anothe pool user,who said i used violent force when i pushed him away,within a few minutes it was on ,during this  overheated discussion  with theG.M trying to simmer things down ,i remained sllent,so  to cut a long story short,the mother refused to  beleive that her boy bomb me,and i assulted him ,next thing the cops come as the  the  pool user who dob me in  got the cops then  it was bedlam ,again i remained calm and silent, at the end of this  long drawn out saga  i had to offer my appolgies to the mum and the kid  too get it done and dusted but lo and beholdthe mum went into another rant saying  my oppologies were  not sincere enuff,and still wanted me charged, luckily for me a very old lady who also witness  the bombing ,came into the fracas and gave me full support and would happilly be a witness to  the incident,that immediately turned the tide ,and she left not before  giving me a barrage of abuse, all i did was to give her a wink and a smile to that final abuse,  the moral of my post is to avoid any confrontation with your jerk and report it to the moo baans management and make sure its noted in their file,in case of further trouble and keep it under your hat ,   do hope i have been of help to you....E/S

[anon537687643]

If the guy had “pushed me Away “ physically, I would have handed out something physical he wouldn’t forget .... if he was around to remember after it happened !

 

 

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[Jdietz]

Anyone spotted the German in this thread already?