How did you find long term love in Thailand?

[smotherb]

4 minutes ago, transam said:

Total tosh.......Man and woman do with their life what they want too do....All have different views of what they want from THEIR life....No two people are the same....

Did you miss the boat? I think we have had a similar conversation before. I believe in myself and that I have something other than money to offer a woman. I suggest that other men do too; that they don't have to pay for a woman who can only spread her legs as her part of the relationship; that a man can find a woman who loves them for themselves; and that it is not luck, it is proper planning.

[smotherb]

23 hours ago, MadMuhammad said:

I met mine in Oz studying her masters degree at uni. She’s probably the most balanced, worldly Thai girl I’ve met. Very lucky to find her. None of the major issues I’ve found in local Thai girls.

obviously of no help to your situation directly but maybe spread your net a bit wider and you may catch the right fish 

I agree totally. You fish in the sewer and you get sewer fish.

[transam]

1 minute ago, smotherb said:

Did you miss the boat? I think we have had a similar conversation before. I believe in myself and that I have something other than money to offer a woman. I suggest that other men do too; that they don't have to pay for a woman who can only spread her legs as her part of the relationship; that a man can find a woman who loves them for themselves; and that it is not luck, it is proper planning.

Tosh.....My ex UK wife and Trans were together 20+ years, was great until SHE wanted to do something different.....That was it, HER decision to do something different....NO planning from me 20+ years before would have made any difference to what SHE wanted to do 20+ years on...

[transam]

2 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I agree totally. You fish in the sewer and you get sewer fish.

........You seem to be a lost soul......But, as I said, we are all different....

[smotherb]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Tosh.....My ex UK wife and Trans were together 20+ years, was great until SHE wanted to do something different.....That was it, HER decision to do something different....NO planning from me 20+ years before would have made any difference to what SHE wanted to do 20+ years on...

You still don't seem to understand. There are no guarantees. People can grow apart. I have two ex-wives, we still get along well, my wife knows both of them. We divorced because we simply grew apart. No hatred, no ill-feelings, no hassles, no worries, no rip-offs, no taking everything.

[transam]

5 minutes ago, smotherb said:

You still don't seem to understand. There are no guarantees. People can grow apart. I have two ex-wives, we still get along well, my wife knows both of them. We divorced because we simply grew apart. No hatred, no ill-feelings, no hassles, no worries, no rip-offs, no taking everything.

Yet you talk about "sewer fish", as if you are the nuts and you were no ploblem...Gawd...

[OneMoreFarang]

27 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Not so sure of that. Is a good career or retirement luck or proper planning and preparation? I think you need to be aware of the potential problems and plan your attack depending upon your preferences. Too many of the ladies found in bars or online are in it for the money and far too many have lots of disadvantageous baggage--children, dependent family, ex or even current boyfriends or husbands, drug addictions, gambling problems, etc. ad infinitim. Sure, it is possible to meet a good girl even if she sold her favors or advertised herself, but the odds are against you. I would look elsewhere and be prepared to work for it, besides it can be fun; if you have something to offer the ladies other than just money. I know several available and attractive Thai women who have responsible jobs, whose virtues are not negotiable; but who would entertain a legitimate relationship with a farang, but not a sexpat.

Obviously there are lots of ladies in the bars who want money - after all, it's why they do what they do. Not all bar girls are bad but probably it's difficult to find a "good" one.

Unfortunately this does not mean that all non-bargirls are good. There are also lots of ignorant, money oriented girls out there who never worked in a bar and would never work in a bar. I have a friend who enjoyed bargirls for many years until he thought about a "normal" relationship. He met a couple of so called normal girls about his age, with proper jobs, etc. But according to him many of them had in no way a better character then many bargirls. In fact many of these girls thought they are something better than the (in their words) "brown buffaloes" from up-country. Finally my friend found a nice women who he married. My point is that lots of "normal girls" have the same bad attitudes like many bargirls.

[jenny2017]

15 minutes ago, transam said:

........You seem to be a lost soul......But, as I said, we are all different....

 

It seems that something got lost in exchanging posts? It's true that relationships after xx years grow apart and the times are over that people stay married for 60 years+ like our grandparents did.

 

  I don't think that smotherb's and your thoughts are so far away from each other. I guess he only meant that when you're looking in the wrong place, you won't find the right fish.  

 

   

   

   

[transam]

2 minutes ago, jenny2017 said:

 

It seems that something got lost in exchanging posts? It's true that relationships after xx years grow apart and the times are over that people stay married for 60 years+ like our grandparents did.

 

  I don't think that smotherb's and your thoughts are so far away from each other. I guess he only meant that when you're looking in the wrong place, you won't find the right fish.  

 

   

   

   

I don't like the term "sewer fish" used by the guy.....It has no relevance to any relationship...

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, jenny2017 said:

No schoolgirl uniform??

She has her high school and university uniforms ........ but they are real and it didn't actually count as cosplay when I took them off her.

[jenny2017]

10 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

She has her high school and university uniforms ........ but they are real and it didn't actually count as cosplay when I took them off her.

Did you stop taking them off? Why?

 

  There's a huge difference between a school uniform and a school uniform, don't you think?

[MaeJoMTB]

2 minutes ago, jenny2017 said:

Did you stop taking them off? Why?

 There's a huge difference between a school uniform and a school uniform, don't you think?

That looks just like my wife's University Uniform, I stopped taking it off her because she's stopped wearing it while she has a year off.

[OneMoreFarang]

15 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

That looks just like my wife's University Uniform, I stopped taking it off her because she's stopped wearing it while she has a year off.

And I always thought the idea about such a uniform is that you never really take it off her. Maybe just open it a little or lift the skirt a little...

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, transam said:

........You seem to be a lost soul......But, as I said, we are all different....

How am I a lost soul?

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously there are lots of ladies in the bars who want money - after all, it's why they do what they do. Not all bar girls are bad but probably it's difficult to find a "good" one.

Unfortunately this does not mean that all non-bargirls are good. There are also lots of ignorant, money oriented girls out there who never worked in a bar and would never work in a bar. I have a friend who enjoyed bargirls for many years until he thought about a "normal" relationship. He met a couple of so called normal girls about his age, with proper jobs, etc. But according to him many of them had in no way a better character then many bargirls. In fact many of these girls thought they are something better than the (in their words) "brown buffaloes" from up-country. Finally my friend found a nice women who he married. My point is that lots of "normal girls" have the same bad attitudes like many bargirls.

I've never suggested that all non-bar girls are good. However, I do believe the odds of finding a good woman is better if she has not worked the trade. It seems that even a good girl sours and begins to think of herself as a commodity working in the bars.

[toughlove]

Obviously there are lots of ladies in the bars who want money - after all, it's why they do what they do. Not all bar girls are bad but probably it's difficult to find a "good" one.
Unfortunately this does not mean that all non-bargirls are good. There are also lots of ignorant, money oriented girls out there who never worked in a bar and would never work in a bar. I have a friend who enjoyed bargirls for many years until he thought about a "normal" relationship. He met a couple of so called normal girls about his age, with proper jobs, etc. But according to him many of them had in no way a better character then many bargirls. In fact many of these girls thought they are something better than the (in their words) "brown buffaloes" from up-country. Finally my friend found a nice women who he married. My point is that lots of "normal girls" have the same bad attitudes like many bargirls.

Well if being normal is lying, cheating, stealing, turning off her phone for a week while visiting "sick dad in isaan" then all I can say is you have been tricked by an ex bar girl.

[klauskunkel]

On 1/14/2018 at 11:41 AM, music065 said:

Getting tired of the short term things. Would really like to find something more permanent. How did you find your long term gf/wife?

I found that when I changed my attitude of looking for something to looking for someone, thing developed fairly quickly.

[Been there done that]

On 1/18/2018 at 8:48 AM, transam said:

It really is the luck of the draw...

Thats what girliebars are for.

Edited January 19, 2018 by Been there done that
Spelling

[kekalot]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously the internet is an option. But I am not so sure it will work for some of us, who are already a little older and who like pretty young girls. The girls I am thinking about don't need the internet to find guys. They are attractive and they will meet enough guys offline. And if they would ever go to an internet dating site then I guess they wouldn't look for an older guy - they will be flooded with messages from young guys. Obviously there are pretty young girls who look for old guys on the internet, but most of the time only because of the money.

that's a fair point, for sure!

 

one of the semi attractive girl that messaged me online showed me her inbox after 2 days had 195 unread messages.

also, as a joke we registered my sister online once, she is fairly attractive and got over 350 messages in 3 days on some local dating

I read all of the messages.. 95% of the messages were trash, kept the rest of the 5% but she laughed and was not interested in replying.

 

[sanemax]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Obviously there are pretty young girls who look for old guys on the internet, but most of the time only because of the money.

For what other reason would a young lady be looking for an older man ?

[OneMoreFarang]

35 minutes ago, sanemax said:

For what other reason would a young lady be looking for an older man ?

Believe it or not, some girls like older men. Some reasons might be that younger men are more likely chasing lots of other girls, are maybe more aggressive and less settled, etc.

Lots of people have lots of different tastes, sometimes I wonder why, but I accept that this is how it is.

[Peterw42]

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

For what other reason would a young lady be looking for an older man ?

Thailand generally has a respect for elders culture, pee nong etc, older people get a higher up wai, children wait on elders at social gatherings. Also a pragmatic approach to relationships, security, fidelity, trust often more important than looks etc. A reality that older guys have their sh*t together, less likely to play up, not work, party all the time. Even in Thai Thai relationship, the guy can be significantly older.

[Tofer]

On 18 January 2018 at 2:54 PM, theguyfromanotherforum said:

I'm getting tired of long term thing.

 

Want something short and stupid.

Would 4'11" and thick as 2 short planks suit?

 

I know a girl constantly on the prowl and claims to have a beautiful pussy....

[theguyfromanotherforum]

23 minutes ago, Tofer said:

Would 4'11" and thick as 2 short planks suit?

 

I know a girl constantly on the prowl and claims to have a beautiful pussy....

 

Pm sent

[csabo]

On 1/18/2018 at 5:15 PM, kekalot said:

 

pay attention to this, the girls you meet online on sites like Thaicupid and Thaifriendly are mostly "farang hunters".. as in they would NOT date a Thai man and will give you a story that .. "once a thai man treated me poorly so no more Thai men.."

 

trust me, I met quite a few from Thaicupid over the years (never from Thaifriendly, F that free site lol) and 95% of them told me that exact story.

most girls on there are quite disillusioned.. and most of them have had farang boyfriends before (not that this is bad) but I have found from the constant contacts that I have kept with some of them over the years that most are not that smart.. (no dissing here) as they should know that they are basically dating short term tourists and that those people are only here for a fun time.. but the girls are none the wiser.

 

I keep hearing about those e-Boyfriends or tourists they met and then cry to me when they leave or find someone else other than them. about 5 or 6 of them are now single with kids from those tourists that had no plans on staying more than a few days or weeks to begin with.

 

proof in point: last year, i broke up with my girlfriend of 1.5 year because she had a major meltdown so i told her we needed a break, she wouldn't give me a break so i told her "maybe we should break up". anyways a week later she met an idiot tourist in hua hin (don't ask me how) and the week after that he got her pregnant.

I've been hearing about this dummy for 11 months now, she married him out of shame as her family practically disowned her and now living a sexless and loveless marriage with a 2 months old kid.

 

turns out buddy is a broke ass and has to go back home next month, lol.

But you loved her for a year and a half. Hmmm

[csabo]

7 hours ago, sanemax said:

For what other reason would a young lady be looking for an older man ?

Stability 

[Been there done that]

6 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

Thailand generally has a respect for elders culture, pee nong etc, older people get a higher up wai, children wait on elders at social gatherings. Also a pragmatic approach to relationships, security, fidelity, trust often more important than looks etc. A reality that older guys have their sh*t together, less likely to play up, not work, party all the time. Even in Thai Thai relationship, the guy can be significantly older.

Respect is not the same as fear.

[HuaHinExpat]

https://www.thaifriendly.com/?ai=1897 - Simply the best FREE dating site I've tried in Thailand for meeting normal, educated ladies. Yeah, sure there are a few bar girls and ladyboys on there too, but for me it was the easiest way to actually meet a Thai woman that spoke really good English and that I could have a proper relationship with. Would highly recommend giving it a try!

[worgeordie]

Fate, 30 years and still with me,and the shit she has to put up

with,must be love.

regards worgeordie

[honestaboutthailand]

I posted this on Stickman a little over a year ago regarding a serious relationship with a Thai girl. Perhaps it holds some relevant information for you since you are tiring of the "short time":

 

The following is based on my experiences from using dating sites for dating Asian women (GF material not hookers/freelancers), and in particular reference to this article, finding a Good Thai woman. Maybe you are tired of the P4P/Bar/Nightclub scene, or it isn’t for you in the first place. In the past I have used several dating sites looking for a GF and dated a Filipina, Indonesian, Vietnamese and finally 3 different Thai women, including my wife. All in their native countries. I currently live bi-country (USA and Thailand) and I am currently building a house in Hua Hin.

 

Before I begin, I want to clarify to the vast majority of readers, ignore so many of the guest articles here degrading Thai women and Thai culture are from a skewed and misguided minority. Their altered reality is just that – many because of their perversion/prostitution/inebriation issues. I see you guys all over Thailand – always the same. OK off the soapbox.

 

I am not here to plug any particular dating site. They all have their ups and downs but if you want a Thai woman pick a Thai centric site (Duh). However, there are some fairly universal truths about site do’s and don’ts, successful strategies, and good Thai women behavior. Regardless of the dating site, if you are looking for a Thai GF or bride then you may want to consider the following suggestions:

 

Must Do First: Before joining any site, read up on Thai women and family. Read A LOT!! If after reading many blogs, internet articles etc. you understand the basic cultural nuances/differences you will be facing, then start with step #1…

 

First of all, you have to pay to play. What? You are looking for a good Thai woman why do you have to pay? Premium membership is what I am referring to. Without it, the good girls can’t and/or won’t communicate with you. Also you will lack advanced search options and numerous other beneficial features that let you separate the wheat from the chaff.

 

Secondly, pay attention to how you set up your profile. Be particular in your description of who you are, what you want/are looking for, and your real interests and hobbies. Don’t embellish/lie because if you meet Ms. Perfect you have already blown it from the start! Fill out the profile as completely as possible. The most desirable women in terms of looks and/or intelligence will scour your details to see if they want to respond to you. In regards to your profile photos, good Thai women love a well-dressed man. Use a photo that shows you accordingly. Maybe a couple of other photos with your dog, skiing etc. Also Mr. Photoshop, use real current pics. Showing 10 year younger pics is a recipe for failure when you do find someone who is interested. Most of us are not Brad Pitt and the good Thai women are not looking for him either. BTW Showing your Porsche, hairy chest at the beach, shorts and flip flops with a beer in your hand will get you hookers and nothing else!

 

Also, if you are looking for a GF/Bride under 28, and you are over 50 – good luck! Most likely you will find an ATM girl and a future cheater. Most good Thai women don’t even think about dating a Western man until after they have experienced 1 or more cheating, lying, angry, drunk etc. Thai BF’s. I found the prime age group to be 29 and up, never married, no kids. Different strokes for different folks.

 

Now for some clues how to avoid the scammers/hookers.

 

Ignore every profile that shows a lot of cleavage, bikinis or a lot of skin. No good Thai woman would ever have those type of profile photos.

 

Pay attention to the times that they are online – their time not yours! Good Thai girls with real jobs go to bed early. Rarely would they be online at midnight. If they are online past 1am odds are that they are a scammer and/or hooker. The exception is new members because they get excited by all the attention.

 

Rule #1 - Read their profile...all of it. If they say do not contact me for sex but show sexy photos then they are a hooker. The more detailed their profile the more real they probably are. If their profile says Any Any Any etc. for age and all the boxes and they say little about themselves. They are a hooker. If they are 30 years old and say they are interested in men 70 years or older, most likely they are a hooker.

 

If her profile shows her Line, Skype, WhatsApp or phone number, she is a hooker.

 

If they view your profile and 2 seconds later press the Like/Favorite button, they are probably a scammer/hooker. Most good Thai girls (and certainly the hot ones) do not initiate contact on the site.

 

If they send you a message right away with their Line, phone# or other outside communication app info, they are a scammer/hooker.

 

If they try to initiate a chat session before exchanging any messages, most likely she is a scammer/hooker.

 

If they ask you to view a special website, they are a scammer/hooker.

 

If they ask you for money……ok Einstein you figure it out!

 

If they are from Pattaya they are/were a hooker.

 

If they have tattoos they almost 100% are a hooker.

 

If they are online all day and night they are a hooker or scammer. Good Thai girls with real jobs are not on dating sites for hours at a time.

 

If they are currently living in smaller towns and rural areas then they are most likely real but that doesn’t mean they are good (see profile hints above). Understand if they are in a small town or rural area they may not have a good job or any job and are very close to their family, if not living with them. That has its own issues discussed later.

 

Hint for success in your search: If you’re not Brad Pitt, don’t expect to get interest from Angelina Jolie! Don’t think the hottest, smartest women are going to fall for a fat, bald slob- be realistic about your expectations. Also, if you read their entire profile (rule #1 dummy) and it does not match yours don't bother showing interest. They will read your profile before ever responding and ignore you. Example: if you say “don’t want kids” and she says “definitely want” etc. Don’t think your Jedi mind trick will make them someone they are not.

 

When you find the future maybe-Mrs. if you use a “Favorite” tag and don’t send a message, almost all of them will ignore you (unless they are a hooker/scammer). Write some prose Shakespeare! Understand that these women get dozens (or the super-hot girls hundreds) of messages every day. If you send "you’re cute”, “I love your eyes” (geez like they haven’t seen your tired act before), or some short generic phrase, they will probably never read your message and certainly not reply. You need to be unique (not like the other 650,000 men on the site – yes you have a lot of competition). Make the message about a paragraph long, interesting and with some humor (Thai women love a good sense of humor) Also if you just cut and paste the same message you will have less chance of success. It’s ok to use the same format but reference something you read in their profile (rule #1 again!) so they know you actually read it. The longer they have been a member, the more selective they will be in responding.

 

Hint: If you see a stunning woman who is your perfect match and she hasn't been online in a few weeks or more she has most likely met someone. There are exceptions as long time members get bored and stay off the site for quite some time and then may come back. You can always leave a message but 99.9% of the chance you’ll be wasting your time.

 

If she is online she will see you sent a message. Within a few minutes or sometimes instantly she will look at your profile. If she is interested she will usually send a message back. BTW don't expect a good Thai girl to want to chat with you instantly. They usually want to message a few times at least.

 

If they don't message you back within a day it usually means they are not interested. Move on Don Juan! The supermodel women are super picky. Don't be an ass and send them some angry message because they don't like you.

 

If they agree to chat with you and you are chatting with other girls at the same time and delay your responses they will move on. You are a butterfly to them. Just looking for sex. If you are really interested Focus! Use the same formula for them. If they are taking a long time to respond (consistently) they are probably gaming the system too. Do remember many of them are using translation programs so it can take a few moments. Also translation programs make mistakes! Be prepared for some misunderstandings (this is true in all aspects of Thai dating/marriage).

 

Don't ask for a bunch of photos right away. It is a turnoff to them. And never ever think a good Thai woman would send you sexy photos. So don’t be a jack-off pervert and insult them by asking. And John Holmes, she really doesn’t want to see your massive missile! Save it for the honeymoon…

 

If the two of you really hit it off, ask them for their Line ID and if they would like to get off the site and get to know each other better. Trust me, the good Thai women hate being on the site after a while because they get inundated with messages and chat requests and on and on.

 

Hint: If you don't have Line, get it. Every Thai girl uses Line.

 

Once you two have messaged a little more and she is comfortable with you, ask to FaceTime or video chat. Don't expect a good Thai woman to want to video chat immediately. Hey Hugh Hefner, don’t try to video chat from your bedroom or in your undies. Dress to impress!

 

Hint: If they say they are really interested but can never video chat ever (usually with the excuse my phone have no camera (broken), I have no charge (internet access)) Run! They are a scammer. And if they can only video chat after midnight, they are a hooker!

 

If there is a real connection happening, ask them to be exclusive and stay off the site. Good Thai women that are serious will! But don't be a loser dick and stay on the site yourself checking out all the new honeys. Sooner or later she or one of her friends will check up on you and see that you are online or were just a few hours ago and you are toast (and maybe chopped dickie if you are sleeping next to her when she finds out!) Good Thai women are very faithful and the main reason they are interested in a Western man is they had a Thai BF in the past that cheated on them (see above). They think we are better BF/marriage material. You get what you play for – you want to play around on her, expect the same in return (or chopped dickie).

 

Now that you are exclusive she should want to video chat daily. Hint. If she never video chats in the evening and never from her apartment she has a boyfriend or husband! 100%! And if you are living with someone, trust me they will figure it out using the same logic. I know, it’s one of the first things I tell my wife’s friends to do! BTW Hey Romeo, don't profess your love in the first day or two! She won't believe you and will cut you off (you have no idea how many guys do just that or even propose marriage <deleted>!). Be prepared however, many good Thai women will get serious fairly quickly if she is really interested in you.

 

BTW Read her profile! (I can’t believe how stupid so many guys are with rule #1). If she says she's not willing to move from Thailand she won't! Don't think your George Clooney looks and smile will change her mind. She's not leaving her family behind so don’t start what you can’t finish!

 

If all is rosy in the rose garden and you have serious feelings for each other, you need to take the plunge and open up that tight-ass wallet and book a trip to see her. Don't expect her to video chat forever! And understand that a good Thai woman with a job won't be able to run away with you for a two week vacation (also they almost always won’t even if they could). Plan on meeting her in her city and expect to go out on a few dates before you even think about any form of intimacy. Most good Thai women won't even consider sleeping with you right away. There are exceptions and guys with exceptional game, but just prepare for the worst so you don't get all butt hurt and act like an ass to her.

 

Speaking of acting like and ass, just try grabbing her ass or a deep French kiss in public and see how soon you are checking out hookers or back on the site because she left you standing looking like the dick moron you are.

 

Also, those of you who are constantly courting cirrhosis, a good Thai woman usually does not drink much if at all, so think twice about getting on an 18 hour flight to have her leave you when you order your 4^th martini!

 

Hint: Never show extreme anger or try to manhandle her! She will run away from you just like her old POS Thai boyfriend and maybe a group of Bruce Lees will give you the beat-down in the street you deserve.

 

IF you do fall for each other, understand that you have to have an end game. She's not going to be your GF forever and wait for your (I’m collecting aluminum cans so I can come) annual visit just because you think you are the World’s Most Interesting Man! You will either have to sponsor her to move to your country or move to Thailand. Either is not an easy proposition, so do your homework on what that entails before wasting time trying to date internationally.

 

Hint: If she has never been married don’t think being a “committed couple” is going to cut the mustard. If you’re not prepared to put a ring on her finger, you are going to find yourself back on the site (and making the same stupid mistakes you just did). For you Whishy Willies, many Thais marry in a Buddhist ceremony which is not legally binding…Uh I guess that is why you are looking to get married to a Thai?!

 

Some other notes before you get serious with any Thai woman: Understand if she is from a poor family most likely every now and then you’re going to have to chip in to the kitty. If that's not your thing be honest up front (and get ready to find another girl). A good Thai woman will not use you like an ATM (unless they are living in a dirt floor shack- but you get what you pick!) but they do want to help their family if they really need it. Don't think you are going to take the Thai out of your Thai gf/wife and make her forget her culture/religion. And for you cheapskates don't even bother to date a Thai woman without reading about “Sinsod”. It's a part of the culture and if you’re going to get married to a Thai most likely you will have to do it for the ceremony. Sometimes it is only ceremonial (the family will give some/all back), and sometimes you don't get it back. Understand this completely before you make a commitment to dating a Thai woman with the hope of eventual marriage.

 

I met my wife through Thai Friendly and we have helped several of her friends find their fiancés/husbands so it can work. But I have also seen from the woman's side (helping them translate and opinions about profiles) that most of the men look and act like complete losers! Hey Dick, don’t be a dick!

 

BTW for those wanting to just meet hookers, ignore everything I just said and you will score more than you can afford!

 

Best of luck!