Foreigner hangs himself, burns house down next to final message to wife: "You have stolen everything from me"

[anon789561]

11 minutes ago, ajarnmarc said:

Thank you very much.

I haven't seen the Samaritans line you're referring to, 

but I shall look through the thoughtful messages, 

that each of you took the time to post, 

as that's the least I can do in gratitude for each of yours time, 

as well as try to find out what options I have in this situation.

I must admit I do believe that if I stay anywhere near by, 

this lady will continue to make life as difficult as she can for me, 

and I doubt when the truck I will have to rent, is fully loaded, 

with what we have to take with us, that she will willingly allow us to pull away, 

without major issues...when I refer to us, I have to consider our children as well, 

as she has threaten multiple times to kill each of them,

claiming that she brought them into this world, 

so she has the right to take them out of it as well.

 

My response is that though we may have brought them into this world, 

it is God that blessed us with the magic of birth, 

and their great health,

so therefore it is only God who can decide how long they live in this World...

 

A decision which is for neither of us to decide,

yet we must provide for them as best we can.

 

She has all but broken my sons spirit with her daily rants, 

where he is constantly stating he's sorry for something.

 

I'm fortunate enough to be around and remind him that everyone might make mistakes, 

but it's the ones that are strong and honorable to admit to those mistakes, 

which make them a better person, therefore he needn't be sorry for everything, 

which his mother doesn't like.

She is simply troubled by the increasing pressures of the 

ever growing debt which she has placed upon this family,

through all her ill decisions since 2015.

 

She briefly felt that now that I became aware of the situation,

that she would be able to place the responsibility onto me,

to sort out, but I've been clear that I had nothing to do with it, 

and it was all for nothing really, as we always had work to support our life styles, 

hers just somehow grew beyond our income.

 

I have yet to find out why that became the case, 

since I believe this is a gambling / drug free house, 

so I therefore can't seem to figure out where all these funds were spent, 

though I have tried to understand, as I continue to process all that has happened;

Since I discovered this financial situation in October of 2017.

Believe me, it's been a grueling 6 months,

as I try to make something to go forward with nothing.

Our business is still running, though barely, 

it's just not enough to keep up with the bills she's made on her own, 

and these bills are tied unfortunately to our transportation.

I'm willing to let all that go, just for peace of mind, 

and safety for our children, it's just what protection,

and rights do I truly have within the Kingdom as it relates to our Children?

 

Last night she actually attacked our son,

and the result of me defending him, 

resulted in her visiting the hospital briefly.

Fortunately she only left marks on me,

which were visible, 

as I only pushed her off of him, 

and away from him, but somehow she tried to play she'd been injured.

She herself only knows how she felt inside,

and though it sadden me to have to be put in a position to defend what is supposed to be so valued within our family.

As the saying goes... things only get worse before they get better.

I can only hope it gets better before her or I make a serious mistake.

 

 

 

just took the time to read all that, sorry mate was working. you need to sort that out now. really mate. i'd suggest chatting with the samaritans and getting things off your chest. they'll have contacts regards finance and family for further advice. but you should do it now mate

[geriatrickid]

2 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

14 pages in and multiple assumptions made as to the  motives of the  Thai domestic partner that  no one  actually knows. Nice.

So, does anyone here know the deceased, even in passing?

Ok. So now up to 20 pages and not one person knows the deceased, yet the comments as to his motives overflow. No one knows the Thai domestic partner and still the allegations of misdeeds are made. Please let me know when someone actually has some substantive facts upon which to base the claims of misdoing, conspiracy and  criminal acts of the Thai domestic partner.

 

36 minutes ago, Thaijack2014 said:

He was handcuffed with his hands behind his back and hanged himself? How bizar! Why would you handcuff yourself if you commit suicide?

It happens and is not unusual. People will take measures to ensure they cannot back out.

 

1 hour ago, ajarnmarc said:

Not sure where to start here?

No need. It is obvious you were hurt and perhaps wronged. If so I wouldn't wish to add to that hurt. However, my point is that as soon as we cut corners and are non compliant we end up sowing the seeds of our own misery, especially in a place like Thailand.

 

1 hour ago, xylophone said:

Judge and jury eh? What planet are you from?

Earth. Land of Reality. One of the reasons why so many foreigners get into trouble is because they try to beat the system and they fail. Thai officialdom goes by the book when they want to . I am always amazed at how many legal and business experts there are  on TVF who provide their expert counsel which is contrary to that of the counsel for my employer and those of other multinational  companies who have legal, accounting, HR and other experts on staff or on retainer.

 

1 hour ago, jspill said:

Many grammatical errors in the note

- 'Eveything' should be 'everything'

- 'taken an' should be 'taken and'

- 'now you have all' should be 'now you have'

- 'exactily' should be 'exactly'

- Too many words use capital letters 

- The question mark is messed up 

First thing that I noticed as well. It was lower end English language common of people without an advanced education. This would be suggestive of the typical failure  scenario that plays out in Thailand. However, before one can conclude that, one must verify if this was a language vernacular reflective of the deceased. One would need  his emails and other correspondence to compare with.  If it was different, then obviously your  suspicion of wrongdoing would be supported. Just remember that when people are doped up or drunk, their style of writing can change.  In any case, the first step is identifying the deceased and  obtaining   character references from any friends if he had any.

Edited March 29, 2018 by geriatrickid

[overherebc]

10 minutes ago, ajarnmarc said:

Thank you very much.

I haven't seen the Samaritans line you're referring to, 

but I shall look through the thoughtful messages, 

that each of you took the time to post, 

as that's the least I can do in gratitude for each of yours time, 

as well as try to find out what options I have in this situation.

I must admit I do believe that if I stay anywhere near by, 

this lady will continue to make life as difficult as she can for me, 

and I doubt when the truck I will have to rent, is fully loaded, 

with what we have to take with us, that she will willingly allow us to pull away, 

without major issues...when I refer to us, I have to consider our children as well, 

as she has threaten multiple times to kill each of them,

claiming that she brought them into this world, 

so she has the right to take them out of it as well.

 

My response is that though we may have brought them into this world, 

it is God that blessed us with the magic of birth, 

and their great health,

so therefore it is only God who can decide how long they live in this World...

 

A decision which is for neither of us to decide,

yet we must provide for them as best we can.

 

She has all but broken my sons spirit with her daily rants, 

where he is constantly stating he's sorry for something.

 

I'm fortunate enough to be around and remind him that everyone might make mistakes, 

but it's the ones that are strong and honorable to admit to those mistakes, 

which make them a better person, therefore he needn't be sorry for everything, 

which his mother doesn't like.

She is simply troubled by the increasing pressures of the 

ever growing debt which she has placed upon this family,

through all her ill decisions since 2015.

 

She briefly felt that now that I became aware of the situation,

that she would be able to place the responsibility onto me,

to sort out, but I've been clear that I had nothing to do with it, 

and it was all for nothing really, as we always had work to support our life styles, 

hers just somehow grew beyond our income.

 

I have yet to find out why that became the case, 

since I believe this is a gambling / drug free house, 

so I therefore can't seem to figure out where all these funds were spent, 

though I have tried to understand, as I continue to process all that has happened;

Since I discovered this financial situation in October of 2017.

Believe me, it's been a grueling 6 months,

as I try to make something to go forward with nothing.

Our business is still running, though barely, 

it's just not enough to keep up with the bills she's made on her own, 

and these bills are tied unfortunately to our transportation.

I'm willing to let all that go, just for peace of mind, 

and safety for our children, it's just what protection,

and rights do I truly have within the Kingdom as it relates to our Children?

 

Last night she actually attacked our son,

and the result of me defending him, 

resulted in her visiting the hospital briefly.

Fortunately she only left marks on me,

which were visible, 

as I only pushed her off of him, 

and away from him, but somehow she tried to play she'd been injured.

She herself only knows how she felt inside,

and though it sadden me to have to be put in a position to defend what is supposed to be so valued within our family.

As the saying goes... things only get worse before they get better.

I can only hope it gets better before her or I make a serious mistake.

 

 

 

Have you ever thought of setting up discreet cameras at home and recording what goes on with reference to the violence towards the son and you.

I'm not sure of the legalities of it in Thailand, someone else can comment on that, but it might be in your favour when you get to a position where you can do something about the situation.

[JOC]

6 minutes ago, ajarnmarc said:

Thank you very much.

I haven't seen the Samaritans line you're referring to, 

but I shall look through the thoughtful messages, 

that each of you took the time to post, 

as that's the least I can do in gratitude for each of yours time, 

as well as try to find out what options I have in this situation.

I must admit I do believe that if I stay anywhere near by, 

this lady will continue to make life as difficult as she can for me, 

and I doubt when the truck I will have to rent, is fully loaded, 

with what we have to take with us, that she will willingly allow us to pull away, 

without major issues...when I refer to us, I have to consider our children as well, 

as she has threaten multiple times to kill each of them,

claiming that she brought them into this world, 

so she has the right to take them out of it as well.

 

My response is that though we may have brought them into this world, 

it is God that blessed us with the magic of birth, 

and their great health,

so therefore it is only God who can decide how long they live in this World...

 

A decision which is for neither of us to decide,

yet we must provide for them as best we can.

 

She has all but broken my sons spirit with her daily rants, 

where he is constantly stating he's sorry for something.

 

I'm fortunate enough to be around and remind him that everyone might make mistakes, 

but it's the ones that are strong and honorable to admit to those mistakes, 

which make them a better person, therefore he needn't be sorry for everything, 

which his mother doesn't like.

She is simply troubled by the increasing pressures of the 

ever growing debt which she has placed upon this family,

through all her ill decisions since 2015.

 

She briefly felt that now that I became aware of the situation,

that she would be able to place the responsibility onto me,

to sort out, but I've been clear that I had nothing to do with it, 

and it was all for nothing really, as we always had work to support our life styles, 

hers just somehow grew beyond our income.

 

I have yet to find out why that became the case, 

since I believe this is a gambling / drug free house, 

so I therefore can't seem to figure out where all these funds were spent, 

though I have tried to understand, as I continue to process all that has happened;

Since I discovered this financial situation in October of 2017.

Believe me, it's been a grueling 6 months,

as I try to make something to go forward with nothing.

Our business is still running, though barely, 

it's just not enough to keep up with the bills she's made on her own, 

and these bills are tied unfortunately to our transportation.

I'm willing to let all that go, just for peace of mind, 

and safety for our children, it's just what protection,

and rights do I truly have within the Kingdom as it relates to our Children?

 

Last night she actually attacked our son,

and the result of me defending him, 

resulted in her visiting the hospital briefly.

Fortunately she only left marks on me,

which were visible, 

as I only pushed her off of him, 

and away from him, but somehow she tried to play she'd been injured.

She herself only knows how she felt inside,

and though it sadden me to have to be put in a position to defend what is supposed to be so valued within our family.

As the saying goes... things only get worse before they get better.

I can only hope it gets better before her or I make a serious mistake.

 

 

 

I see you have got very understanding and friendly replies to your earlier posts.

So I will do it....!!Wake up and smell the coffee.......Get out of there before someone (or all) end up dead...

Yes you will have to leave the children behind, at least in the first phase.....First priority is to safeguard your own mental and physical health...So get out as soon as possible (yesterday)....all the practical matters can be solved later.

And leave God out of the equation.....You need to take action.....not quote the Bible...

This is written as a friendly advice...

[JOC]

5 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

First thing that I noticed as well. It was lower end, English language common of people without  an advanced education. This would be suggestive of the  typical failure  scenario that plays out in Thailand. However, before one can conclude that, one must verify if this was a language vernacular reflective of the deceased.One would need  his emails and other correspondence to compare with. If it was different, then obviously your  suspicion of wrongdoing would be supported. Just remember that when people are doped up or drunk, their style of writing can change.  In any case, the first step is identifying the deceased and  obtaining   character references from any friends if he had any.

Don't you ever get tired of insulting people?

BTW. The guy was American...Matthew White, 43

[Expatthailover]

Very sad that a relationship falls apart but I would say to anyone that where you meet your wife to be and her occupation has a large bearing on future happiness & stability.

In the uk or australia etc would you recommend your friend marry a lady of the night?

I think not.

The vast majority of thai woman are no different in their morals etc to the vast majority of farang women.

As thee shall sow, so shall ye reap etc.

The demise of this man is very tragic but I shall not label all thai women .

Then again I regard myself as open minded and a decent human being as many on here are.

[cat handler]

A bit sus having his hands handcuffed behind his back, that’s very hard to do. Also dumb, surely you would also take a few of her family members with you so that the stealing wife doesn’t end up partying on your grave.

[Justfine]

3 minutes ago, cat handler said:

A bit sus having his hands handcuffed behind his back, that’s very hard to do. Also dumb, surely you would also take a few of her family members with you so that the stealing wife doesn’t end up partying on your grave.

Been explained a dozen times how easy it is. Bit suss people don't read.

[sebastion]

He wrote something else on the back wall, can't quite read it fully.

The gift of love is not true, its poison.

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

[cat handler]

1 minute ago, Justfine said:

Been explained a dozen times how easy it is. Bit suss people don't read.

 

Perhaps you can explain to us what advantage does having your hands handcuffed behind your back have when you hang yourself? 

 

[BEVUP]

2 hours ago, tim51 said:

Why not own the house yourself? Foreigners can own houses and lease the land they sit on for 30 years plus renewals.

 

Don't own jack, your just a squatter

[anon789561]

3 minutes ago, cat handler said:

 

Perhaps you can explain to us what advantage does having your hands handcuffed behind your back have when you hang yourself? 

 

stops you going for the rope around your neck and struggling. would make it quicker

[starky]

7 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

I am building a house at present,it is large and will probably come in at around 5/6 million baht. My Wife[my second Thai wife} does not have a big family unlike my ex,and they have never asked me for anything. I trust my Wife,but only up to a certain extent,i have told her if she ever tries to #&** me over i will demolished the house and another we own. I have plenty of money overseas,so whilst dissapointing it would not really affect me financially,i certainley would not kill myself,as another poster said never spend more than you can walk away from.

Bit sooky isn't it? So if it all ends which many many many relationships do wah wah boo hoo your going to throw all your toys out of the pram?... " to a certain extent" maybe you chose the wrong bird if that's how you feel. 

[roo860]

Yesterday, I was eating at a shop in Chiang Mai city.  The Thai restaurant owner told the couple (young Thai lady with bald elderly farang), that most Thai girls marry foreigners for love. So I interrupted and said 'that's not true', most Thai girls marry foreigners for money especially if the foreigner is elderly.

 

I've seen many cases like this reported in press and Youtube.

 

 

And what was the reply from the elderly foreigner at your interrupting their conversation?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

[JayBird]

5 minutes ago, cat handler said:

 

Perhaps you can explain to us what advantage does having your hands handcuffed behind your back have when you hang yourself? 

 

Commitment. You know you won't try to stop yourself when struggling for breath.

 

And this serves not only as a warning against falling for Thai women, but any woman /man in the world, irregard of nationality, could do this to a man.

[bannork]

As can be seen in the video, the writing is large.

[bwpage3]

Paid the ultimate price for what he perceived was his dream, but was only an illusion.

 

Very sad story.

[ubonr1971]

9 hours ago, Miss Pickle said:

This is yet another very sad story. I had a friend come over here when he got early retirement with all his money met a girl bought a house in her name then a few months down the line the guy he thought was her brother turns out to be her husband.Needless to stay her went home penniless and had to get emergency housing. At 40 years old he could have gone home and had a life ver very sad. One thing confuses me how are his hands cuffed. ??

how. quite easily. climb up on tank, fix the rope etc. cuff oneself. jump off. What are you confused about?

[BEVUP]

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

For you silly doubters who have no clue.

Put a rope around your neck and stand on a chair.

Handcuff your hands behind you.

Kick the chair and die.

Sad but true.

 

That would be a good idea for all these naysayers that are mentioning to put the house totally in the Falangs name

[anon789561]

18 minutes ago, cat handler said:

A bit sus having his hands handcuffed behind his back, that’s very hard to do. Also dumb, surely you would also take a few of her family members with you so that the stealing wife doesn’t end up partying on your grave.

do you know handcuffs? buy some. very easy to get here. then test on yourself. maybe he was a nice guy and didn't want to take any of her family out as you so eloquently put it

[SOTIRIOS]

...sadly foreign governments don't utter a peep in protest to this rampant practice....

 

...the law is 50/50....let me know one foreigner that has gotten more than 1-5%....

 

...is that justice...???

 

***

 

...while questionable local 'workers' that go abroad and cry 'foul' get front page news....

 

***

 

...and total and utter disregard for the children....that are treated as commodities

 

***

 

 

[cat handler]

8 minutes ago, JayBird said:

Commitment. You know you won't try to stop yourself when struggling for breath.

 

And this serves not only as a warning against falling for Thai women, but any woman /man in the world, irregard of nationality, could do this to a man.

Jumping off a water tower I doubt struggling for breath would even come into it. That also shows clear thinking. I wonder how much insurance she had on the house.

[Baerboxer]

8 hours ago, JOC said:

Normally I like your posts....But this is not one of the better ones...

Easy to sit in your ivory tower in Hua Hin and judge others....

I agree, a mental stable person would not end his life in this fashion.......but the real question here is, what brought him to the breaking point ?

 

I once attended a particular lengthy leadership course in which among other things a test what done. There are many psychometric tests, personality tests etc etc. Some better than others. However this one was specifically designed to show where on a spectrum you would fall. The extremities of that spectrum - left and right were way off and no one was close to either. But, should someone be put under extreme pressure to the point where they cracked, they would likely go to or very close to one of those extremes. If they went extreme "left" they would be in danger of self harm and suicide. If "right" more likely to kill others. It was very important in the context of this course to know which way people would go and the test was bespoke for that.

 

Up until that breaking point the person could be free of any mental health issues. Driving someone to that point, which is different for all of us, could be gradual over time, where some signs might be noticeable, or relatively quick with the reaction spontaneous.

 

What's really sad is the way callous greedy liars are prepared to cheat, steal, lie and manipulate people for financial gain without any regard to the consequences for that person. But that's a Westerners view.

[jenny2017]

4 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

Your sad tale reads  as a cautionary tale of what foreigners should not do. Yes, you may have been wronged, but did you know that there is a rule in law that states that  those who engage in wrongful acts cannot seek protection from the law when they are injured due to those wrongful acts? Foreigners should learn from you and not do what you did. The alleged  illegal acts of your domestic partner, which you have not responded to, are icing on the cake. This doesn't mean I don't understand the loss, the frustration, the anger and the pain, but it is difficult to feel sorry for people who try to play the system and  lose.

 

Are you even aware that legally and morally, you committed the first wrongful act?

It was wrong for you to take up with a subordinate. Large hospitality chains have specific regulations that forbid this sort of shenanigan between a boss and a junior employee.  It is no surprise that a relationship created  from a wrongful act would continue to  provide additional wrongful acts. You then attempted to play the rules in respect to the registration of vehicles and  ended up only cheating yourself because you thought you were smarter than the locals.  This is one of the reasons why they have the rules - to protect people from these things. Obviously you thought the rules didn't apply to you. Yours has been a story  of non compliance, including not having the appropriate visas, so it is no wonder that you encountered  problems. The take away isn't the  danger of taking up with a cleaning lady. Rather, it is once again the cost of not following the rules and of trying to circumvent them.  Foreigners only outsmart themselves. The Hisos can  play the loopholes because they have the  legal and tax experts to  guide them and they are connected. Few foreigners have those advantages. 

Don't you get it that he fell in love with her? Did something similar never happen to you before? If you've read his posts, you should be aware that he's highly suicidal, but all you're doing is to blame him for so many things what he did wrong.

 

BTW, where did he state that he didn't have the right visa? Instead of giving him a helping hand, some great advice on how to recover, but no, you've decided to give him another nail in his coffin. 

 

 Do you want to use his story as a warning to others after he'd killed himself as well? Please read between the lines of his posts, it couldn't be worse.

 

 

  

[overherebc]

13 minutes ago, JayBird said:

Commitment. You know you won't try to stop yourself when struggling for breath.

 

And this serves not only as a warning against falling for Thai women, but any woman /man in the world, irregard of nationality, could do this to a man.

Friend of mine in UK had a wife who never did a stroke of work then after 20 years when he had built up the business, and fathered two kids with her, took him to the cleaners.

I was 30 at the time, married with no kids and decided there and then to have privately paid for op' and had my nuts cut. 40 years later I know it's the best thing I decided on.

[Wilsonandson]

R.I.P Matthew

 

[jenny2017]

1 minute ago, Wilsonandson said:

R.I.P Matthew

 

RIP Mathew. Let's hope it's not so bad where you are now. 

[jenny2017]

27 minutes ago, starky said:

Bit sooky isn't it? So if it all ends which many many many relationships do wah wah boo hoo your going to throw all your toys out of the pram?... " to a certain extent" maybe you chose the wrong bird if that's how you feel. 

How can anybody get married who trusts his wife to a certain extent is something that's basically a shitty relationship with an even worse ending, already included.

And easily foreseeable.  

[Lemonltr]

1 hour ago, ajarnmarc said:

Thank you very much.

I haven't seen the Samaritans line you're referring to, 

but I shall look through the thoughtful messages, 

that each of you took the time to post, 

as that's the least I can do in gratitude for each of yours time, 

as well as try to find out what options I have in this situation.

I must admit I do believe that if I stay anywhere near by, 

this lady will continue to make life as difficult as she can for me, 

and I doubt when the truck I will have to rent, is fully loaded, 

with what we have to take with us, that she will willingly allow us to pull away, 

without major issues...when I refer to us, I have to consider our children as well, 

as she has threaten multiple times to kill each of them,

claiming that she brought them into this world, 

so she has the right to take them out of it as well.

 

My response is that though we may have brought them into this world, 

it is God that blessed us with the magic of birth, 

and their great health,

so therefore it is only God who can decide how long they live in this World...

 

A decision which is for neither of us to decide,

yet we must provide for them as best we can.

 

She has all but broken my sons spirit with her daily rants, 

where he is constantly stating he's sorry for something.

 

I'm fortunate enough to be around and remind him that everyone might make mistakes, 

but it's the ones that are strong and honorable to admit to those mistakes, 

which make them a better person, therefore he needn't be sorry for everything, 

which his mother doesn't like.

She is simply troubled by the increasing pressures of the 

ever growing debt which she has placed upon this family,

through all her ill decisions since 2015.

 

She briefly felt that now that I became aware of the situation,

that she would be able to place the responsibility onto me,

to sort out, but I've been clear that I had nothing to do with it, 

and it was all for nothing really, as we always had work to support our life styles, 

hers just somehow grew beyond our income.

 

I have yet to find out why that became the case, 

since I believe this is a gambling / drug free house, 

so I therefore can't seem to figure out where all these funds were spent, 

though I have tried to understand, as I continue to process all that has happened;

Since I discovered this financial situation in October of 2017.

Believe me, it's been a grueling 6 months,

as I try to make something to go forward with nothing.

Our business is still running, though barely, 

it's just not enough to keep up with the bills she's made on her own, 

and these bills are tied unfortunately to our transportation.

I'm willing to let all that go, just for peace of mind, 

and safety for our children, it's just what protection,

and rights do I truly have within the Kingdom as it relates to our Children?

 

Last night she actually attacked our son,

and the result of me defending him, 

resulted in her visiting the hospital briefly.

Fortunately she only left marks on me,

which were visible, 

as I only pushed her off of him, 

and away from him, but somehow she tried to play she'd been injured.

She herself only knows how she felt inside,

and though it sadden me to have to be put in a position to defend what is supposed to be so valued within our family.

As the saying goes... things only get worse before they get better.

I can only hope it gets better before her or I make a serious mistake.

 

 

 

Bug the house. Get evidence if you want the kids. 

[starky]

Just now, jenny2017 said:

How can anybody get married who trusts his wife to a certain extent is something that's basically a shitty relationship with an even worse ending, already included.

And easily foreseeable.  

Particularly on their second marriage. I laugh at people who get married multiple times with an attitude like that and yet can't seem to figure out what the common denominator is