Relationship dynamics w/Thai wife questions

[Peterw42]

3 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

The point is a SEA cyclone is 'local' and Berlin wall, 911 were WORLD events. My English teacher did not know who Nelson Mandala was and the 20 year old son of a friend asked me the other day who my favourite 'superhero' was. Gob nai kala.

What makes a cyclone in Asia (one of the largest loss of life world events) a local event and 911 a world event ? Thats a very narrow western view of the world and events.

For a Canadian, 911 was a local event ?

[petermik]

7 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

How do you know?

I'm thinking you only know what she tells you about her past.

And if she was a great catch, why was she still single at age 40+.

No many perfect, loving and beautiful women reach age 40 as single virgins.

Husband dead? That's the only legit excuse, and I've know many ladies lie about that (stops foreigner asking questions about her past).

 

I mean, it's great you're happy with her, and all that.

I just think too mutt.

You do mix in the best of circles......I bet your a laugh a minute sat on the barstool 

[SOTIRIOS]

...bro...

 

...sorry to be so harsh but...

 

...she doesn't love you...

 

...and you will get divorced...

 

..hope you have secured your assets beforehand....

 

...and be very careful....

 

...children...???

 

...read the news...they are found in the garbage daily...and a high percent are raised by 'others'...

 

 

[tingtongtourist]

1 hour ago, SpeakeasyThai said:

Consider it a feather in your cap she actually apologises.

Try sitting down one night and having a chat on world events. Korea, Trump, the middle East crises and you will discover you might as well have married a frog.

I for one dont miss the BS chat about world events.Is pointless to get yourself all worked up about things you cant change.

 

Talk to western girl and what do you get?

it will soon turn to female equality and this Me too business.zzzzz

[thaiguzzi]

6 minutes ago, SOTIRIOS said:

...bro...

 

...sorry to be so harsh but...

 

...she doesn't love you...

 

...and you will get divorced...

 

..hope you have secured your assets beforehand....

 

...and be very careful....

 

...children...???

 

...read the news...they are found in the garbage daily...and a high percent are raised by 'others'...

 

 

Jesus wept.

And the sun is always shining....

You have a wonderful day too...……….

[Autonuaq]

Thai people not like to be confronted. Part of their culture and have other ways to do.

 

Most is about losing their face.

 

One of the many things that is different. The reaction is often as of a spoiled child.

Many things is a one way street and most forget that there are two cultures to be respected.

 

The moment a child is present the parent lent the world from the child.

And has to act in the interest of the child, both parents have to do this

A child demands time and more.

The next 20 years you have to look after and care.

 

5 seconds of pleasure, 40 week of waiting give you 20 years of devoting all your time to taken care and worries for free.

 

Good luckk

[SpeakeasyThai]

2 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

I for one dont miss the BS chat about world events.Is pointless to get yourself all worked up about things you cant change.

 

Talk to western girl and what do you get?

it will soon turn to female equality and this Me too business.zzzzz

Have another Chang then.

[SpeakeasyThai]

39 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

I think it comes down to what you consider a world event, I was talking to my wife recently about major world events that have happend in our lives, 911, berlin wall, etc. Wife listed Cyclone Nargis (I had no idea what she was talking about, had to google it) which happend in Burma in 2008, 130,000 people died. For her that was a major world event, in the country next door, friends and neighbours knew people that died.

I knew nothing about the major world event in her life and have to admit to feeling like the frog you mention.

 

I remember that event. You must have been a Tadpole back then.

[tingtongtourist]

33 minutes ago, Andyfez said:

The way you are writing this immediately gives me the impression you are trying to justify your point of view.

The way you describe 'childlike' also gives me the impression that you think you are the adult here, and she is not.

With parents etc who lived together till they died is admirable. But by having g such puts YOU in the minority.

Sounds to me like you are a strong-willed person, and font have the flexibility of your wife.

Having kids so early in a relationship, and with you both still so young is a very optimistic thing to do 

Good luck.

and also is strange he would complain about this childlike behaviour of her being all lovey and cuddly again soon after fighting.

 

 he must forget about the frumpy western female who give you the silent treatment for 3 days and no sex for 2 weeks

[connda]

22 hours ago, woogoo said:

The other problem is that every time there is the slightest problem she says she wants a divorce.

Welcome to the modern world where marriage is no longer considered sacred and divorce at the drop of a hat is the solution for everything.  Today's young folk, and imho especially women, tend to think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. That view is an illusion.  So they hop from one relationship to another, always looking for Mr. (or Miss) Right but seldom finding that pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow. 

Marriage is work and compromise for the majority of us.  But if she ends it, and it sound like she eventually will, learn acceptance and how to move on.  Start now to anticipate it and plan for how to assure your access to your child.  Children are the jewels of a marriage, but vindictive parents often turn them into weapons at the end of a failed marriage.  I feel for ya.  Been there, done that.  Best of luck!

[connda]

3 hours ago, catman20 said:

you married a child what do you expect.

Nonsense.  People use to get married in their teens.  Waiting until your in your late twenties to early thirties is the new vision of progressive thought, right along with not having children.  Forming a family out of university is hardly something a 'child' does.  Children who are raised to accept the responsibilities of an adults are adults when they hit the age of majority.  22 isn't 'a child' by any means. 

[SpeakeasyThai]

31 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

and also is strange he would complain about this childlike behaviour of her being all lovey and cuddly again soon after fighting.

 

 he must forget about the frumpy western female who give you the silent treatment for 3 days and no sex for 2 weeks

First point is you are out of order stating what someone else might say or think especially as the likelihood is you don't even know the poster.

Second point is I take it you came to Thailand for random sex. Although I never met you I am taking a leaf out of your book! 

[Thingamabob]

Don't take it too seriously. Thais are very good at moving on. Just don' t drag things out.

[Krataiboy]

3 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

Maybe the book, "Thailand Fever" will help reflect on the cultural differences. After 7 years here I am still learning as I go along.

This is what you really need:

[tingtongtourist]

20 minutes ago, SpeakeasyThai said:

First point is you are out of order stating what someone else might say or think especially as the likelihood is you don't even know the poster.

Second point is I take it you came to Thailand for random sex. Although I never met you I am taking a leaf out of your book! 

the first point i comment about the OP said...

" Then the next day it's all back to normal and she loves me all over again."

 

i dont know you know about my random sex.lol

actually not so much random these days but i must admit it would be hard to go back to the 80kg bean-bag after having 45kg Thai filly.

[GreasyFingers]

23 hours ago, woogoo said:

Then the next day it's all back to normal and she loves me all over again.

You should think yourself lucky. Wife no.2 back home could argue for hours but when we went to bed she demanded sex. As soon as she woke up in the morning she would start the argument again. Just remember they are women and we are men, no matter what country they/we are from.

[ToddinChonburi]

Basic maturity , Thai women never seem to mature past the age of 16. They are never taught conflict resolution.  Only way you will survive is recognising at what point you and yes you need to just stop.  Back off give her space and try to talk about it later.  Are you speaking English or Thai with her ?    Don't assume she understands you !   We think they understand when they do not.

[freebyrd]

I've had the dubious distinction of being married to a Thai, had a Filipina girlfriend after that marriage failed and am now in a 10 year+ common law marriage with a Cambodian woman. Basically they were all/are wonderful until it came to disagreements when they all said/say similar things to your wife and it's like arguing with a 5 year old.

 

A friend of mine in PI was married to a Japanese and is now with a Filipina. We agree that the best approach is to avoid the conflict wherever possible and let it blow over. No point trying to change them, in just the same way that we don't want to change our ways. That said, perhaps you can given that you are decades younger than most of us oldies on here.

 

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Flexibility is the key, good luck ?.

Edited May 29, 2018 by freebyrd

[MaeJoMTB]

2 hours ago, petermik said:

You do mix in the best of circles......I bet your a laugh a minute sat on the barstool 

My BiL,

At 20 he was part of a protection/extortion/drug gang in BK, he used to shoot into places on the back of a m/c as they drove past.

I asked him, "did you ever kill anyone?", his reply, "Never stopped to find out, but I wasn't shooting in the air"

At 34 he was living in NZ, but was deported when he applied for citizenship after they discovered his gang record in a background check.

At 45 he is something important in a posh hotel chain in Thailand (I've visited him at work).

 

Either the hotel doesn't care (likely), or his gang arranged his past to be cleaned up (less likely).

You wouldn't guess, no tattoos, speaks good English, seems respectable, educated middle class Thai.

 

Part of the problem with the 'my wife is better than your wife crowd, she really loves me, she never worked bar" is they all seem incredibly gullible, and the whole basis for the claim is their white knight, virtue signalling, belief a woman would never lie.

I know my wife tells me the truth, because her background (same gang) couldn't possibly be worse.

Not to mention she had a lot less life to be 'naughty' in than your 'old lady'.

Edited May 29, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[maximillian]

On 5/28/2018 at 1:30 PM, MaeJoMTB said:

You really have no idea about Thais or Thai women!

Thais don't want to know your interpenetration on anything, you are a foreigner, if you don't like that, go home.

I can just picture the hysterics, drama and possible violence from 'sitting her down and explaining'.

Something I could never understand about all the old white guys in Thailand, doesn't matter how long they live here, they learn NOTHING. I guess you can't fix stupid.

 

Interpenetration ?

[totally thaied up]

4 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

Maybe the book, "Thailand Fever" will help reflect on the cultural differences. After 7 years here I am still learning as I go along.

My wife dropped it in the bin after reading.

 

Told me if her family told her to act like that an expect her to shower them with her 'good luck' from marrying a farang; said they can go find a dog to play with. Said outright you will be supporting that type of girl and family forever, and they are the type of girl you want to stay very far from.

 

I had to laugh but after so many years here and being with her, I got to admit, she may be right on this. 

 

24 minutes ago, freebyrd said:

A friend of mine in PI was married to a Japanese and is now with a Filipina. We agree that the best approach is to avoid the conflict wherever possible and let it blow over. No point trying to change them, in just the same way that we don't want to change our ways. That said, perhaps you can given that you are decades younger than most of us oldies on here.

+ 1

 

Your 20 years younger than me (OP).

 

I had a failed Filipino marriage. I took her home and that was my mistake, but much the same; conflict led to nothing but hard times.

 

Filipinos are prone to using a knife during heated arguments (as friends have come out second best, carved up like Christmas turkeys from uneducated Northern illicano/apayo girls) ... ? ... a good friend came home to his lazboy cut to pieces one night as he was 20 minutes late from a night out with the boys and on another occasion, came home to a kitchen knife buried in the middle side of his very expensive bed.

 

Mind to say, he is divorced now, and she got the house and is on her third husband back in Australia.

 

Edited May 29, 2018 by totally thaied up
added content - spelling

[NoshowJones]

4 hours ago, cms22 said:

HAHA. Yes, this is it! Thai Women! Hate 'em, Love 'em. Aint nothing like 'em!

I say this in all honesty, my wife has never mentioned divorce or anything to do with separation to me.

[csabo]

You married to young, it's doomed. You (male) at 28 have the brain of a 28 year old man. She (female) at 25 has the brain of juvenile honey badger. Get ready for the pain. 

[csabo]

23 hours ago, colinneil said:

 Ooh you beast.

Don't get him angry Colin. He might scoop you and do the same thing. 

[Lucky mike]

Confrontation is not the answer, logic non existent, speak quietly, they are from another planet........

[transam]

3 minutes ago, Lucky mike said:

Confrontation is not the answer, logic non existent, speak quietly, they are from another planet........

So are we to them.....

[Lucky mike]

Just now, transam said:

So are we to them.....

Yes exactly, that is why sometimes yak yak.....

[transam]

46 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I say this in all honesty, my wife has never mentioned divorce or anything to do with separation to me.

But does anyone know what a partner is actually "thinking"....?

[NoshowJones]

1 minute ago, transam said:

But does anyone know what a partner is actually "thinking"....?

As far as I know, Mrs Possum always says what she thinks, and I'm sure I would know if she is unhappy about anything.

[MaeJoMTB]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

But does anyone know what a partner is actually "thinking"....?

Mine is thinking "how much money should I ask him for?"