Attacked With A Cleaver

[chanchao]

> "Mamma Mia", I was hoping to invest in one of these little lovelys myself,

> but on reading the horror stories on here some of these woman are

> more dangerous than shotguns !

Well... sorry, but it's not that hard to find women who aren't total psychos, hookers, etc. Stop sitting in bars and start having a life and they'll even find you!

As for Kerry, it's not a matter of sympathy or not, or morals, it's a typical case of asking for advice and then arguing against the resulting overwhelming avalanche of common sense poored all over these pages.

Morals, schmorals, whatever, but let me factually point out some of Kerry's thoughts that need urgent re-assigning back into the realm of reality:

> I really don’t think a 10 year age difference is too much. Plus I did not pick her she picked me.

Heck, I don't think 20 years or 30 years is too much when your partner is a mature 40 year old woman. But 'she picked me' ??? What does that have to do with anything? You make your own choices. (Or don't make your own choices, which is still a choice)

> On the subject of doing a runner. We live in a three bedroom bungalow. The

> deposit is substantial and I would really like it back. I am concerned if I leave

> she will trash the place and I am the leaseholder which makes me liable. I know

> the home owner and would not want to treat him in an unkind manner.

Ok: Go TALK with the guy then. Explain your situation and what you plan to do. If the feeling of treating each other kindly is mutual, then you can work out a deal with the deposit / remaining rent. And you can inform him of your concerns, then it's up to him to find ways to protect his property. Secondly, if I read your post correctly then there are 2 other women who would lose their accommodation if she 'trashes the place'. At the very least they can hit it home with her that as you've left her all remaining items and furniture, she'd be trashing her own stuff.

I get the feeling you don't really communicate that well with anyone, such as your partnet's best friend, your landlord, etc?

> My point is that while packing or leaving I could get interrupted at any time by one of the ladies arriving home.

How long does it really take to dump clothes, your TV, computer and stereo into the back of a pick-up? You could box it and tie it down more properly somewhere out of the way, before going for the long drive.

> I have to go to Chiang Mai because of a number of reasons, besides I like Chiang

> Mai. She has no family in Chiang Mai. I guess she could have me hit in Chiang Mai.

I think you're a little too paranoid as well. It happens, but not that much. Still, Chiang Mai (province) is a big place. Heck, even the town is a big place if you don't go back to the exact same places to stay, eat and drink. You do sound like a guy who would be back on the same bar stool in the same bar in Chiang Mai one week later. Prove me wrong, and don't.

> I think if I do a runner she might be upset enough to pay someone to pay me a visit in Chiang Mai.

That's not really the issue. The issue is if you are smart enough not to be there? And not be in that exact same soi, exact same restaurant for breakfast, exact same bar in the evening? Time to start a new life.

I don't think it's terribly likely she'll have you shot, but it's almost a given that she will look you up for more mind games, trying to get you back, argue, etc, etc. You don't need that.

> I have told her a couple of times I had no problem with her going with

> customers but it seemed to sink in yesterday. She said “You don’t mind me going with customers

> but you don’t like it when I go with customers and don’t tell you I am going with customers.”

Kerr... every time you say or show you don't mind her going with customers it's like slapping her in the face. Now don't confuse the following with me laying on morals, merely the way it can only be perceived by her. The ONLY reason why any man would allow his woman to sleep around would be if he honestly doesn't give a flying fark about her, or if he's lowlife pimping scum, or both. *NO* other reasons. "leaving her the freedom to do with her life to bla bla yadda yadda: DOESNT COUNT.

Did it ever occur to you that she's waiting for you (or anyone) to actually CARE enough to not let her sell herself everyday? If you are not that person then there's really nothing either of you have to gain from staying together even one more day.

> I told her she looked really good in the skirt. She has really toned up in the last month from

> dancing 10 hours a day. She got very upset with me. She said I should not tell her she

> looked pretty when she was going to work to sell her body because she needed money.

DUH!!! Be a MAN for chrissakes, MEN OBJECT to their women dressing sexy to any other eyes than their own. UNLEARN any post-feminist drivel on allowing certain things, or at least PRETEND TO. At least PRETEND to be jealous; jealousy, in Thailand, is GOOD. It confirms you CARE!.

> These two things seem contradictory to me.

Only in your mind. Not to her. And frankly not to me either. By being there, you show (to her friends/collegues) that you care. Presumably so that she can't go with another guy, though frankly I bet you'd let that happen too.

Wanna be a man for a change? Or pretend to? Watch what happens when you do this: Ask a friend (Ulysses volunteered I think) to go to that bar and buy her a drink. Then you enter, and pretend to be upset at someone hitting on your woman. Get into an argument, do your best caveman routine. Chase Ulysses out (wink wink), pay the bar for your missus and drag her out by her hair. Will be the best thing you've done for your relationship in a long time, a lot more than confirming every (*$(^# time that you don't object to her going with customers. Think about it.

> I plan on leaving towards the end of the month and living by myself in Chiang Mai.

> I would rather leave on if not good terms at least on understandable terms.

That DOESNT happen! IF you break, you make it a clean break. Or you WILL regret it.

Also: Look at your own logic: You worry she'll have you shot, BUT you think you have a chance of breaking on amicable terms. That logic just doesn't compute even internally within your world as you perceive it. Second: You tell her you don't mind her going with customers, but you tell us that you're shocked by her transformation into a hooker who goes with customers. Can you please be as honest with her and with yourself as you are with us?

Cheers,

Chanchao

Edited February 2, 2007 by chanchao

[Mobi]

A Long and very well thought out post from Chanchao. I don't agree with everything he said, but the general thrust is spot on.

Kerry, I frankly doubt whether she will trash the place or put a contract out on you. Possible? of course, but very unlikely. She just wants to maximise her 'investment' in you, and will continue to do so until you convince her that it is over for good, and you have gone out of her life forever.

You are living in cloud cuckoo land if you think you can part from this sort of woman on amicable terms, and you are even crasier if you go back to your old haunting grounds in Chiang Mai. In a year's time - maybe - but not now.

You have to get a grip of yourself and realise this chapter in your life is over. Be brave and strong and stop caving into her threats and violent acts. She has got you intimidated and it will destroy you. Get the f..ck out of there, and take with you as much as you reasonably can. By all means tell the landlord if you feel like it, but it were me, I'd just drop him a line to say you were gone, and that he can apply your deposit against the future rent. Leave it up to him to deal with the remaining tenants. I'll warrant he's a lot tougher than you. If you tell him in advance, he may well put obstacles in your way. Don't trust anyone.

Good luck, again

Mobi

[Chang_paarp]

The above suggestions are all very male things to do, and will probably revive ther relationship. If on the other hand you want the problem to go away, start to be a liability on your lady.

Borrow money off her friends and daughter. Remember it is a "family" loan.

Turn up at the bar and run a tab, tell the bar she will pay it.

Demand she buys you a drink when she is with potential customers.

Use her phone to ring your family or even the time in USA.

Tell her to go and get some food when she comes home after a long night.

Tell her to buy some beer for the fridge.

Make sure her friend and daughter do their share of the house cleaning.

Make sure you are out when they have been out all night, then wake them when you get in.

Ask for money for the rent/phone/power.

I think you get the idea.

Maybe it will all just go away after a while.

[kerryk]

First I would like to say I really appreciate all of the information and opinions I have received here. Even all of the negative ones. I appreciate the time you took to write them and the thought you put into them.

But lets have a reality check here.

I did not ask for relationship advice I asked if it was easy to put a Farang in Jail in Pattaya.

I am not married.

I don’t have a stepdaughter.

I have four daughters in the US, all raised and educated and doing well.

I am in a monetary relationship with a Thai woman. She does not love me and I do not love her. I like her and treat her with respect as she did with me until we moved to Pattaya. She has a daughter whom I treat as her daughter. She is not my daughter. She does not call me father. I was kind enough to let her have a room free out of charge so she could work as a cashier at Big C and not have to be a bar girl (that lasted one week). When I first became aware of her working as a bar girl I told her mother to ship her back North. She told me her daughter was a grown woman and could do as she pleased.

I have never had sex with anyone who lives with me except my GF and that was only on her request.

Two years ago, my GF was tired. She had been a Go Go dancer in Bangkok and worker in the short time houses in Singapore for 10 years. She said her legs were tired she said other parts of her body were tired, she begged me to take her out of her life. She had purchased a bar that had gone broke and she was down on her luck and contemplating suicide.

She changed from a whore to a devout Buddhist and good woman in Chiang Mai. We went to the Wat daily and asked for forgiveness for out past discretions.

I am not really afraid of an semi illiterate Thai Go Go dancer. My original question was “ is it that easy to put a Farang in jail who has done nothing wrong in Pattaya.”

I got a couple of responses to that question.

Should I leave the country because a 40 year old hooker is upset with me? Hardly.

Should I change my residence because she is upset with me?

Yea right.

A couple of people have mentioned my military background. The only thing I was afraid of in Vietnam was having my balls blown off by a land mine. Honest that was the only thing I was afraid of.

Now, what am I afraid of? A stroke or some other health problem that would leave me alive but incapacitate me.

For those that have suggested that for my benevolent behavior and my paying of all of the household expenses to include rent, electricity and water that I should be compensated with a beer or two I agree. But these are hard core hookers. Even with 100,000 baht in the bank and 5000 baht in their purse they ask me for motorcycle taxi fare when they go to work.

For those who inferred I was a pimp. A pimp gets money, I think. I never get a cent.

There are 70,000 people directly involved in the P4P business in Pattaya. Most of their parents live in Issan. Does that mean there are 140,000 pimps in Issan? Because a substantial amount of the money earned in Pattaya goes to Issan.

In addition to the people involved in the structured P4P business in Pattaya there is every one else. Visit a 7/11 at 5 AM and with a pleasant smile you won’t go home alone.

For the poster who told me to hang out with a different class of people I have this answer. A couple of years ago I was involved with a Thai woman with two masters degrees. She was also a virgin at 35. I found that hard to believe so I checked. I did not take it but I checked. Sure enough she was a virgin. She spoke in addition to Thai, English and French fluently. Not bar fluent but college fluent. She had a great job. Not much cash in the present but a brilliant future. She offered me a home in her house, knowing that would have damaged her reputation permanently I refused. Then she tried to steal 10,000 baht from me. She got 5000 and I left.

I don’t see much difference between Molly O’Grady and the Captains lady.

If you have a good woman whether bar lady or good lady you are lucky. You are not smart nor are you wise. You are lucky.

There are some differences between a bar lady and a good lady in Thailand. The major one being the good lady has patience.

Good ladies and bar ladies are equally distributed between bad and good. Money being the main distribution factor. You’re money. Of course there are exceptions to this.

For the poster who suggested I take a good look at myself and my morals I did that before I moved to Thailand.

My children are raised and happy. My ex wife is happy. She divorced me and married a well known plastic surgeon. I had cared for my invalid mother at home for 2 years at a cost of $250,000 then my mother died a peaceful death. I had a lot of friends and my business was doing OK. Then I had my third mid life crisis. I looked back on my life and wondered where and when and why I had been happy. Thailand and Vietnam were both places where I had been very happy so I sold everything and returned to find out why I had been so content here in the 60’s.

I have thought a lot about what makes a good mother in Thailand. From the first time I got here in 1968 up to now.

I watched my wife train my daughters in the US to get a wealthy husband which most of them did. The girls started studying French in 2 grade. They were given dancing and singing lessons. They learned how to dress like the ladies in Town and Country magazine. They traveled to Europe in the summer. I taught them to ski and sail. My wife was in almost complete control of who their friends were and who they dated and where they went. They were debuted and introduced to polite society.

My GF’s daughter was raised by her grandparents as were a lot of Thai children who’s mothers worked in the P4P business. When I met her for the first time she did not get along with her mother at all. They would sit on the floor and eat and stare at each other for a couple of hours and the daughter would leave.

At 16 her grandparents tried to sell her for 2 million baht as a Mia Noi to a wealthy Thai married man in Issan.

Now mother and daughter talk to one another. They laugh together. Go shopping and out to eat with one another every day. The daughter speaks no English so our communication is limited to my Thai, which is maybe 600 words. She seems happier than any of the other times I met the woman.

What happens when I go to the club. I walk in and order a bottle of beer and Gf comes over with a big smile and points me out to the other dancers as her Farang. The daughter happily skips over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

GF is the best dancer in the club and when I walk in she turns it on. The other customers begin to notice her even though she is 15 years older than any other woman in the place. Daughter is not much of a dancer and usually is seen sitting with a young good looking Farang because she is very partial to young men.

The English women who frequent the club (there a lot of them) seem to be attracted to GF. She daily gets presents from them (yes I have been there to watch the gift giving).

They are normally blonde and 50 pounds overweight and like the fact that GF has a proficiency in English.

Is what I am doing normal? There are 6 other dancers in the club who have Farang men at home. So it is not that unusual. I have met a couple of the guys they are English teachers. As for the risk? The girls are tested weekly at a local clinic.

Is it unusual for mother and daughter to work together at a club in Pattaya? No it is not. If you get to know the employees they will tell you without hesitation who is related to whom.

Old Farang takes early retirement and runs out of money as one poster wrote and becomes redundant as a breadwinner and partner. That is actually close. The real story is the dollar took a tumble. The coup and following changes in the immigration and banking have sent tourists and ex pats running. I was going to purchase a bar and or restaurant to employ said GF. She is really good with customers. But now some things have changed my mind. I have spoken to many successful bar owners who are barely breaking even. For sale signs are everywhere and the fact that she drinks a lot more than I had imagined and I simply no longer trust her or the Thai government. Also her monetary demands went from 10 to 50,000 baht per month.

One would have to be nuts to buy a business catering to tourists in Thailand this year. Maybe next year or even this summer if the absence of tourists in the low season is what I expect. In terms of total numbers of tourists I don’t see much change with the Asian tourists steadily increasing but the Chinese don’t really go to Farang restaurants and bars.

I talked to my landlord a week ago. He related a story to me of his Thai wife ruining substantial amounts of home furnishings. I won’t go into the details but it is as bad if not worse than my situation so he is aware of the problem.

He offered me another home at less money for next month.

My plans for Chiang Mai were to go back to college and continue my Thai language studies that I started there last year. The poster that said Chiang Mai is a big place is correct I could get lost in a couple of minutes but I have friends there who I would like to keep in touch with who know both myself and my GF. Not bar people, just regular people who I like and who like me. Nothing romantic.

I did not come to Thailand looking for a wife. I had all the woman I wanted in the States. Some of them even in their 20’s, attractive and well spoken. I came to Thailand because of the quality medical care, inexpensive living costs and some other things that do not involve relationships.

The issue of me not minding her going with customers is a financial one. I was giving her 3,000 baht per week for expenses but if she is going with customers then she is on her own. She can’t have it both ways. I can deal with her as a friend with no romantic involvement but I am not going to be paying her money if she is making 10,000 baht per week. I am not having sex with her anyway. That stopped when she started working.

Chanchao, this is the funniest part of my post. If I knew how to highlight it I would. I said she looked good in her skirt and she exploded saying I should not say that when she was going working. At extreme personal risk I asked her today what she meant because I did not think your jealousy explanation was correct, although to a Western person it makes sense.

The reason she got angry with me for telling her she looked pretty was THAT IT IS BAD LUCK IN THAILAND TO TELL A BAR GIRL SHE IS PRETTY WHEN GOING TO WORK. IT MEANS SHE WILL HAVE NO CUSTOMERS THAT NIGHT AND GET NO TIPS OR NO LONG TIME OR SHORT TIME.

Chanchao your post could be a stand alone piece in a magazine it has so many interesting points in it.

I had three wives. Two of them beauty queens. If I had been a jealous man I would have gone crazy. Both of the women were performers of a kind. Both internationally known on stage and screen. They dressed sexy every day. It was part of their jobs to be beautiful and sexy. One was a singer and dancer the other in the fashion industry.

When we would go out to a bar for a drink men would come up to both of them and start a conversation with “You aren’t with this guy are you? Meaning me.” They were so beautiful no one could imagine they were with me.

Perhaps that shaped my personality but I am not a jealous man. I have told all of my wives if they wanted someone else it was no problem just let me know so I am not embarrassed. I am not much of a caveman type. I think leaving the cage door open is the best way to keep a bird.

I never was in love with GF and I really don’t want her back but doing the caveman thing in her club would get me killed before I got three feet dragging her by the hair (big bouncer). Plus she is as big as me and I don’t think I could drag her far. Plus I might hurt her if I dropped her.

As far as honesty it has been my experience that if a Thai woman drops you there is no problem. The problem comes when you drop them. I am trying to get her to say I am a cheap Charlie and she wants to work in a bar rather than stay with me.

That way when her friends in Chiang Mai call her up and say “Kerry is here, she can say, yes I know he cheap Charlie I drop him and I dancing in bar.”

Then everybody is happy.

If I drop her she is angry. If she drops me I’ll pretend to be hurt. If we drop each other she is a little angry and I am a little hurt. It is all good as long at is not the first alternative.

I did a runner on my first wife. What an unpleasant experience. She had detective looking for me for a year until they finally found me.

My second wife divorced me. My lawyer told me, “You better hope she is not angry with you she is being represented by the Rose Law firm (Hillary Clinton among others)”

I pleaded with my third wife not to divorce me for the same reason. She got the house and car but she could have got 50% of my business is she was really upset.

Thanks Chachao, when I get to Chiang Mai I owe you a beer. 3AM at Spicy is good for me.

Mobi I was going to use the deposit as a bargaining chip if things get rough. As in, “OK honey you can keep the TV, microwave, dishes and other stuff and if the place is clean and not damaged you can have the deposit.”

[Pattaya_Fox]

First I would like to say I really appreciate all of the information and opinions I have received here. Even all of the negative ones. I appreciate the time you took to write them and the thought you put into them.

But lets have a reality check here.

I did not ask for relationship advice I asked if it was easy to put a Farang in Jail in Pattaya.

I am not married.

I don’t have a stepdaughter.

I have four daughters in the US, all raised and educated and doing well.

I am in a monetary relationship with a Thai woman. She does not love me and I do not love her. I like her and treat her with respect as she did with me until we moved to Pattaya. She has a daughter whom I treat as her daughter. She is not my daughter. She does not call me father. I was kind enough to let her have a room free out of charge so she could work as a cashier at Big C and not have to be a bar girl (that lasted one week). When I first became aware of her working as a bar girl I told her mother to ship her back North. She told me her daughter was a grown woman and could do as she pleased.

I have never had sex with anyone who lives with me except my GF and that was only on her request.

Two years ago, my GF was tired. She had been a Go Go dancer in Bangkok and worker in the short time houses in Singapore for 10 years. She said her legs were tired she said other parts of her body were tired, she begged me to take her out of her life. She had purchased a bar that had gone broke and she was down on her luck and contemplating suicide.

She changed from a whore to a devout Buddhist and good woman in Chiang Mai. We went to the Wat daily and asked for forgiveness for out past discretions.

I am not really afraid of an semi illiterate Thai Go Go dancer. My original question was “ is it that easy to put a Farang in jail who has done nothing wrong in Pattaya.”

I got a couple of responses to that question.

Should I leave the country because a 40 year old hooker is upset with me? Hardly.

Should I change my residence because she is upset with me?

Yea right.

A couple of people have mentioned my military background. The only thing I was afraid of in Vietnam was having my balls blown off by a land mine. Honest that was the only thing I was afraid of.

Now, what am I afraid of? A stroke or some other health problem that would leave me alive but incapacitate me.

For those that have suggested that for my benevolent behavior and my paying of all of the household expenses to include rent, electricity and water that I should be compensated with a beer or two I agree. But these are hard core hookers. Even with 100,000 baht in the bank and 5000 baht in their purse they ask me for motorcycle taxi fare when they go to work.

For those who inferred I was a pimp. A pimp gets money, I think. I never get a cent.

There are 70,000 people directly involved in the P4P business in Pattaya. Most of their parents live in Issan. Does that mean there are 140,000 pimps in Issan? Because a substantial amount of the money earned in Pattaya goes to Issan.

In addition to the people involved in the structured P4P business in Pattaya there is every one else. Visit a 7/11 at 5 AM and with a pleasant smile you won’t go home alone.

For the poster who told me to hang out with a different class of people I have this answer. A couple of years ago I was involved with a Thai woman with two masters degrees. She was also a virgin at 35. I found that hard to believe so I checked. I did not take it but I checked. Sure enough she was a virgin. She spoke in addition to Thai, English and French fluently. Not bar fluent but college fluent. She had a great job. Not much cash in the present but a brilliant future. She offered me a home in her house, knowing that would have damaged her reputation permanently I refused. Then she tried to steal 10,000 baht from me. She got 5000 and I left.

I don’t see much difference between Molly O’Grady and the Captains lady.

If you have a good woman whether bar lady or good lady you are lucky. You are not smart nor are you wise. You are lucky.

There are some differences between a bar lady and a good lady in Thailand. The major one being the good lady has patience.

Good ladies and bar ladies are equally distributed between bad and good. Money being the main distribution factor. You’re money. Of course there are exceptions to this.

For the poster who suggested I take a good look at myself and my morals I did that before I moved to Thailand.

My children are raised and happy. My ex wife is happy. She divorced me and married a well known plastic surgeon. I had cared for my invalid mother at home for 2 years at a cost of $250,000 then my mother died a peaceful death. I had a lot of friends and my business was doing OK. Then I had my third mid life crisis. I looked back on my life and wondered where and when and why I had been happy. Thailand and Vietnam were both places where I had been very happy so I sold everything and returned to find out why I had been so content here in the 60’s.

I have thought a lot about what makes a good mother in Thailand. From the first time I got here in 1968 up to now.

I watched my wife train my daughters in the US to get a wealthy husband which most of them did. The girls started studying French in 2 grade. They were given dancing and singing lessons. They learned how to dress like the ladies in Town and Country magazine. They traveled to Europe in the summer. I taught them to ski and sail. My wife was in almost complete control of who their friends were and who they dated and where they went. They were debuted and introduced to polite society.

My GF’s daughter was raised by her grandparents as were a lot of Thai children who’s mothers worked in the P4P business. When I met her for the first time she did not get along with her mother at all. They would sit on the floor and eat and stare at each other for a couple of hours and the daughter would leave.

At 16 her grandparents tried to sell her for 2 million baht as a Mia Noi to a wealthy Thai married man in Issan.

Now mother and daughter talk to one another. They laugh together. Go shopping and out to eat with one another every day. The daughter speaks no English so our communication is limited to my Thai, which is maybe 600 words. She seems happier than any of the other times I met the woman.

What happens when I go to the club. I walk in and order a bottle of beer and Gf comes over with a big smile and points me out to the other dancers as her Farang. The daughter happily skips over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

GF is the best dancer in the club and when I walk in she turns it on. The other customers begin to notice her even though she is 15 years older than any other woman in the place. Daughter is not much of a dancer and usually is seen sitting with a young good looking Farang because she is very partial to young men.

The English women who frequent the club (there a lot of them) seem to be attracted to GF. She daily gets presents from them (yes I have been there to watch the gift giving).

They are normally blonde and 50 pounds overweight and like the fact that GF has a proficiency in English.

Is what I am doing normal? There are 6 other dancers in the club who have Farang men at home. So it is not that unusual. I have met a couple of the guys they are English teachers. As for the risk? The girls are tested weekly at a local clinic.

Is it unusual for mother and daughter to work together at a club in Pattaya? No it is not. If you get to know the employees they will tell you without hesitation who is related to whom.

Old Farang takes early retirement and runs out of money as one poster wrote and becomes redundant as a breadwinner and partner. That is actually close. The real story is the dollar took a tumble. The coup and following changes in the immigration and banking have sent tourists and ex pats running. I was going to purchase a bar and or restaurant to employ said GF. She is really good with customers. But now some things have changed my mind. I have spoken to many successful bar owners who are barely breaking even. For sale signs are everywhere and the fact that she drinks a lot more than I had imagined and I simply no longer trust her or the Thai government. Also her monetary demands went from 10 to 50,000 baht per month.

One would have to be nuts to buy a business catering to tourists in Thailand this year. Maybe next year or even this summer if the absence of tourists in the low season is what I expect. In terms of total numbers of tourists I don’t see much change with the Asian tourists steadily increasing but the Chinese don’t really go to Farang restaurants and bars.

I talked to my landlord a week ago. He related a story to me of his Thai wife ruining substantial amounts of home furnishings. I won’t go into the details but it is as bad if not worse than my situation so he is aware of the problem.

He offered me another home at less money for next month.

My plans for Chiang Mai were to go back to college and continue my Thai language studies that I started there last year. The poster that said Chiang Mai is a big place is correct I could get lost in a couple of minutes but I have friends there who I would like to keep in touch with who know both myself and my GF. Not bar people, just regular people who I like and who like me. Nothing romantic.

I did not come to Thailand looking for a wife. I had all the woman I wanted in the States. Some of them even in their 20’s, attractive and well spoken. I came to Thailand because of the quality medical care, inexpensive living costs and some other things that do not involve relationships.

The issue of me not minding her going with customers is a financial one. I was giving her 3,000 baht per week for expenses but if she is going with customers then she is on her own. She can’t have it both ways. I can deal with her as a friend with no romantic involvement but I am not going to be paying her money if she is making 10,000 baht per week. I am not having sex with her anyway. That stopped when she started working.

Chanchao, this is the funniest part of my post. If I knew how to highlight it I would. I said she looked good in her skirt and she exploded saying I should not say that when she was going working. At extreme personal risk I asked her today what she meant because I did not think your jealousy explanation was correct, although to a Western person it makes sense.

The reason she got angry with me for telling her she looked pretty was THAT IT IS BAD LUCK IN THAILAND TO TELL A BAR GIRL SHE IS PRETTY WHEN GOING TO WORK. IT MEANS SHE WILL HAVE NO CUSTOMERS THAT NIGHT AND GET NO TIPS OR NO LONG TIME OR SHORT TIME.

Chanchao your post could be a stand alone piece in a magazine it has so many interesting points in it.

I had three wives. Two of them beauty queens. If I had been a jealous man I would have gone crazy. Both of the women were performers of a kind. Both internationally known on stage and screen. They dressed sexy every day. It was part of their jobs to be beautiful and sexy. One was a singer and dancer the other in the fashion industry.

When we would go out to a bar for a drink men would come up to both of them and start a conversation with “You aren’t with this guy are you? Meaning me.” They were so beautiful no one could imagine they were with me.

Perhaps that shaped my personality but I am not a jealous man. I have told all of my wives if they wanted someone else it was no problem just let me know so I am not embarrassed. I am not much of a caveman type. I think leaving the cage door open is the best way to keep a bird.

I never was in love with GF and I really don’t want her back but doing the caveman thing in her club would get me killed before I got three feet dragging her by the hair (big bouncer). Plus she is as big as me and I don’t think I could drag her far. Plus I might hurt her if I dropped her.

As far as honesty it has been my experience that if a Thai woman drops you there is no problem. The problem comes when you drop them. I am trying to get her to say I am a cheap Charlie and she wants to work in a bar rather than stay with me.

That way when her friends in Chiang Mai call her up and say “Kerry is here, she can say, yes I know he cheap Charlie I drop him and I dancing in bar.”

Then everybody is happy.

If I drop her she is angry. If she drops me I’ll pretend to be hurt. If we drop each other she is a little angry and I am a little hurt. It is all good as long at is not the first alternative.

I did a runner on my first wife. What an unpleasant experience. She had detective looking for me for a year until they finally found me.

My second wife divorced me. My lawyer told me, “You better hope she is not angry with you she is being represented by the Rose Law firm (Hillary Clinton among others)”

I pleaded with my third wife not to divorce me for the same reason. She got the house and car but she could have got 50% of my business is she was really upset.

Thanks Chachao, when I get to Chiang Mai I owe you a beer. 3AM at Spicy is good for me.

Mobi I was going to use the deposit as a bargaining chip if things get rough. As in, “OK honey you can keep the TV, microwave, dishes and other stuff and if the place is clean and not damaged you can have the deposit.”

You are a good story writer I`ll grant you that..............when are you publishing the novel?

[Ulysses G.]

I enjoyed it too, but I still want to do a threesome with a mother and daughter!

[richardb]

Dear Kerry , well why did you not just say so in the first place.

[britmaveric]

I enjoyed it too, but I still want to do a threesome with a mother and daughter!

Well all Kerry has to mention is said Go Go establishment and Bob's your Uncle.

[qualtrough]

This reminds me of one of my favorite Fawlty Towers episodes, the one where a psychiatrist takes a look at Fawlty after he has done something really stupid, and then says, "There's enough material here for an entire conference."

Kerry, in one of your posts some time ago you said you had an inferiority complex. If that is the case it would certainly help explain why you: 1. Got into a situation like the one you are in, and 2. Are tolerating that situation.

You claim you only want to know whether or not a farang can get stitched up in Thailand. Well, duh, the answer is Yes. That answer would even hold true in the US. One of the most popular methods is to say that hubby molested one of the children. Oh sweet Jesus...how old is your GF's daughter?? I hope to God she is over the minimum age, or you could be in a whole world of pain.

Here is my unsolicited advice: Get out, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and then get some help finding out why you keep winding up in the same place.

[mrbojangles]

You are a good story writer I`ll grant you that..............when are you publishing the novel?

Yeah he is, it isn't often i will stick with a post as long as that but in this one.....i was left wanting more

[sibeymai]

Me too.......can't wait for the sequel.

[Pattaya_Fox]

You are a good story writer I`ll grant you that..............when are you publishing the novel?

Yeah he is, it isn't often i will stick with a post as long as that but in this one.....i was left wanting more

Hang fire Mr bo...I am sure that the next thrilling episode is being dictated at we sit here in anxious anticipation of what will be revealed

Big Brother has nothing on this

[britmaveric]

Waiting for the arrival of the Som Tom lady....

[sibeymai]

I can't wait until the daughter's boyfriend moves in and starts shagging her best friend......

[Thehedonist]

> "Mamma Mia", I was hoping to invest in one of these little lovelys myself,

> but on reading the horror stories on here some of these woman are

> more dangerous than shotguns !

Well... sorry, but it's not that hard to find women who aren't total psychos, hookers, etc. Stop sitting in bars and start having a life and they'll even find you!

Cheers,

Chanchao

Mr Chanchao, if your the regular "Agony aunt" please don't include me ! I dont hang out with Hookers, I don't sit in bars all day, and I have a VERY GOOD LIFE THANK YOU !

I have read many stories on this forum about Thai woman, and most are negative !

My advice to the man concerned is dissapear, move on ! a bad/ sour relationship is not worth pursuing ! Good luck to the man !

[besth]

I feel better knowing that your life is not real and not in any danger. Any chance of knowing the name of the go-go where mother and daughter work? (no hurry, I can wait for my turn).

[Mobi]

I find it a bit disingenuous and sad that a guy comes on the forum, apparently distressed, unhappy and in danger, and drip feeds information about a drunken, exteremely violent girlfriend and asks for help and advice.

Many take the time and trouble to give him good advice.

He then drip feeds a bit more information, and those who have already posted re- adjust their advice based on the new facts, and others also add their bit.

Then finally, after 3 days, 70 odd posts and 3 pages of thread, the OP finally tells us what the f..ck is going on.

Troll? Well yes - but I doubt he meant it that way.

I think he is a sad little man, with a sordid story, and wanted to find a way to tell us all about it. He obviously is in no need of help or advice, or he would have explained eveything clearly to start with.

Just an attention seeker, who attracted our sympathy by talking about meat cleavers and being stitched up and thrown in jail.

Have a good life KerryK - I reckon you've had your five minutes of fame.

[taxexile]

i thought his last post was rather good.

for a (brief ) minute i thought i was reading henry miller or charles bukowski until i was distracted by banner ads offering thai dating services.

an attention seeker , yes , and someone who is happier in the usually less socially demanding environment of sleaziness , but speaking as one who has fought and won a long battle against the temptations and delights of sleaze , i have to say that life is much better and more rewarding on the other side of the tracks.

i would say its time to move on.

Edited February 3, 2007 by taxexile

[Ulysses G.]

I enjoyed it too, but I still want to do a threesome with a mother and daughter!

Well all Kerry has to mention is said Go Go establishment and Bob's your Uncle.

Maybe he will PM me the information out of the kindness of his heart?

Pretty please?

[fourbaht]

kerryk >> Walter Mitty ?

[qualtrough]

I was somewhat surprised to read the OP's first couple of posts here because in previous posts he adopted this worldly-wise attitude that he knew all about Thai women, etc., and he was having such a great time up in CM, etc. Oh how the mighty have fallen. He has some real issues to deal with if he really wants to get out of the situation he is in and not return to it. Like some others here, I am not sure that is really what he wants to do. It almost sounded like he was bragging in his last post on this thread. His opinion of women is so low that it would be impossible for him to have any normal kind of relationship with one of them anywhere.

[taxexile]

Well all Kerry has to mention is said Go Go establishment and Bob's your Uncle.

you mean kerry's your uncle.

[kerryk]

I find it a bit disingenuous and sad that a guy comes on the forum, apparently distressed, unhappy and in danger, and drip feeds information about a drunken, exteremely violent girlfriend and asks for help and advice.

Many take the time and trouble to give him good advice.

He then drip feeds a bit more information, and those who have already posted re- adjust their advice based on the new facts, and others also add their bit.

Then finally, after 3 days, 70 odd posts and 3 pages of thread, the OP finally tells us what the f..ck is going on.

Troll? Well yes - but I doubt he meant it that way.

I think he is a sad little man, with a sordid story, and wanted to find a way to tell us all about it. He obviously is in no need of help or advice, or he would have explained eveything clearly to start with.

Just an attention seeker, who attracted our sympathy by talking about meat cleavers and being stitched up and thrown in jail.

Have a good life KerryK - I reckon you've had your five minutes of fame.

A friend of mine who is an American MD told me the day before I posted he got locked up for 90 days because his GF slapped herself in the face and told the cops he did it. I found this hard to believe. So I provided a little background in hopes that someone else in Pattaya might have had the same thing happen. Thats all I asked for. I was not looking for the Ann Landers of Thai Visa to come to my help.

From what I see on Pattaya TV there is bail for everything including rape and murder. The MD said he could not get out on bail.

[Lost in LOS]

A friend of mine who is an American MD told me the day before I posted he got locked up for 90 days because his GF slapped herself in the face and told the cops he did it. I found this hard to believe. So I provided a little background in hopes that someone else in Pattaya might have had the same thing happen. Thats all I asked for. I was not looking for the Ann Landers of Thai Visa to come to my help.

From what I see on Pattaya TV there is bail for everything including rape and murder. The MD said he could not get out on bail.

a very rich friend of mine in the US who would never touch a girl in anger was thrown in jail when he argued with her. she hit her head on the wall and called the cops and off he went.................. two times before he got wise..........of course it cost him millions for a divorce but he is happy and free now.................... be carefull. she could and might do the same......do a runner

[qualtrough]

...Thats all I asked for. I was not looking for the Ann Landers of Thai Visa to come to my help....

You need help, but it doesn't sound like you are the type to acknowledge that you need it. For Christ's sake, you are living with a psycho prostitute (who has attacked you with a cleaver) her prostitute daughter, and a third 'nice' prostitute, all while being milked dry and made to look like a fool. But having admitted to that nightmare scenario, your philosophy seems to be that one woman is about as good as another. Cool lifestyle, your daughters must be very proud of you! Like the other OP said, good luck with your life!

[mouse]

I see that Kerryk mentioned Vietnam. I wrote and published a story about Vietnam called "In Search of Fear" (Google In Search of Fear (The Fear Fix)) for which I won a writer's prize....blah blah blah. Anyway seems that KerryK adjusted his "Search of Fear or FearFix". If you ask around you will find many Vets that actually seek the thrill of danger, failing in business or some other undertaking, subsituting that for the fear they learned over there. Sounds weird but, very true for many that I know or knew. Wonder if he has one of the below. That would explain the story.

[helicoptor]

I think she sounds lovely

[jeffrosner]

What kind of question is this? "Can someone who didn't do anything get thrown in jail, in Pattaya?"

You can wind up in jail for nothing in America so why not here? I can make your children go away in America. All it takes is a phone call, I saw you fondling your 5 year old daughter's crotch. That's all, they will be at your door in hours and take her away.

I don't need proof, I just need to throw suspicion your way. You think you had rights in America? Think again. You have no rights there and even less here.

Hua Hin is lovely this time of year - start over there.

[kerryk]

I see that Kerryk mentioned Vietnam. I wrote and published a story about Vietnam called "In Search of Fear" (Google In Search of Fear (The Fear Fix)) for which I won a writer's prize....blah blah blah. Anyway seems that KerryK adjusted his "Search of Fear or FearFix". If you ask around you will find many Vets that actually seek the thrill of danger, failing in business or some other undertaking, subsituting that for the fear they learned over there. Sounds weird but, very true for many that I know or knew. Wonder if he has one of the below. That would explain the story.

I guess you have a point. There a lot of men living in Pattaya that are or were involved in high risk professions. There is only one Veterans of Foreign Wars chapter in Thailand and it is in Pattaya.

Before I went to Vietnam I raced sports cars, motorcycles and unlimited hydroplanes.

Officers tours were 6 months and enlisted soldiers 12 months. I was a sergeant and served two tours. I volunteered for the second tour not because I was brave or foolhardy but because I did not like the stateside army. Too many rules and regulations that did not exist in a war zone. I was in Vietnam from 1968 to 1970. Those years saw the highest casualties of the entire war. My unit had the third highest causality rate in the history of the US Army. By far the two most dangerous things I have done in my life is being shot down in a helicopter and taking a motor sci piloted by a yaba crazed teen driver in a rain storm through grid locked traffic in Bangkok at 60 MPH.

I was petrified the first two weeks in Vietnam. The next six weeks I calmed down and was just very frightened.

In the States I lived in a wealthy primarily retirement community. I would watch the old guys search the beach for shells and the town for early bird dinner specials.

I knew it was not for me.

After Vietnam I got married and had children and calmed down. I still kept a 750cc motorcycle and did a little amateur sailboat and ski racing but I was no longer interested in high risk things.

Pattaya is, I must admit, a rush. During the last month an elephant charged a bar that I was in, two motorcycles crashed into the tables of the same bar and there was a fight that sent one guy to the hospital.

Getting drugged and mugged really scared the heck out me. And I have resolved to try and change some of my behavior and keep myself out of situations where I might easily be killed.

Things have calmed down at home. I no longer question her about where she is going or what time she is coming home. I assume the worst and leave it at that.

I have started bring old friends and their wives into the club to watch her dance and she likes that. She was missing our acquaintances in her new surroundings. And she likes showing off what a good dancer she is.

I also think this somehow gives her status among the other dancers because so many people come to watch her.

[orchis]

She must be a regular Pavlova, attracting the masses of ballet afficionados as she does.