My Thai girlfriend got pregnant (4.5 months) - we've thought this through and think adoption is the best option

[xtrnuno41]

2 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

You didnt expect to stay in Thailand so long, you dont expect to be with the gf for longer period(but you are already for 2  years), you dont expect to be a father for your daughter.

You can change all your expectations and think out of your box now..

You already did twice, as you are still in Thailand and still with your gf

However you cant push your gf into this decision, she will still change more and more(mother hormones), growing your child. Its a natural process, bonding with child, more then you ever will.

 

FOr you it really gets started when YOUR girl is there, then you will change. You will be a father, with all feelings to it. Dont be afraid, but embrace the situation.  

Expectations can be altered, you can change in your expectations. I think you are still in between, would be glad if someone pops up and tell you "i will have it"

On the other hand maybe think you are wrong. Everything can happen, it's life !

Maybe if you think in an other box, you'll find yourself extremely happy raising a family. Only time can tell.

No one can tell you what to do, only you make your decision.

 

 

Ahh well , see there is someone !! SO now think, are you going that way !! Or.......???

 

[Cereal]

No offense, but I freaking hate kids. I always have, even when I was one I very rarely hung out with people my own age. I knew by the time I was 8 I wasn't having kids. Went for the big clip at 18 and have never regretted it for a microsecond these past 4 decades.

[Sprigger]

Man up you wimp, I had a child at 18 yrs old and certainly didn’t have my own business, that was over 50 yrs ago I was an apprentice on £5 a week. My son is now my best friend, seems to me you are more in love with yourself than anyone else, step up to plate and get on with it. A. hole.

[Sprigger]

7 minutes ago, Cereal said:

No offense, but I freaking hate kids. I always have, even when I was one I very rarely hung out with people my own age. I knew by the time I was 8 I wasn't having kids. Went for the big clip at 18 and have never regretted it for a microsecond these past 4 decades.

I love kids I went to school with them ?

[BestB]

29 minutes ago, seancbk said:

What has being together for 2 years got to do with anything?   After 2 years maybe he knows he doesn't want to marry her but also doesn't want to break up.   Do you break up with girlfriends just because you realise after a few years they are not marriage material?   Or are you one of those people who after only a few months gets married?

I dated an Indian girl for 7 years when I was 23-30, didn't marry her though as I wasn't financially secure at the time.   We did talk about doing it one day, but in the end she moved back to India so that was the end of it.  

I wouldn't marry someone until I had lived with them for at least 2-3 years, and I wouldn't live with someone until I'd been exclusively dating for at least a year or more.   

The OP has been with this girl for 2 years but we don't know if they live together or just see each other whenever they can like a regular BF/GF situation.

 

Yes I break up with girlfriends the moment I realize there is no future , that’s what sensible people do to avoid wasting other person time and mislead them.

[Berkshire]

My prediction is if the GF carries the baby to term, she will not want to give it up for adoption.  Women do change their minds from time to time.  I hope the OP has a Plan B. 

[BobBKK]

Have a kid and give it away!  great!  another unloved and unwanted child.

[Tongjaw]

16 hours ago, Christiano9321 said:

Thank you I truly appreciate it. People are dicks but they're just looking at it from their own lens. I knew I'd get reactions like that.

No young man, you are the dick, and a total one at that.  You deserve all the negative reactions on here plus more. 

[BestB]

7 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

My prediction is if the GF carries the baby to term, she will not want to give it up for adoption.  Women do change their minds from time to time.  I hope the OP has a Plan B. 

I am certain she got pregnant to tie him down. Women on the pill do not have “accidents “

 

Even assuming he is telling the truth about GF, I am more than certain she is agreeing with anything he says but with her own ideas.

 

Thai women rarely give up their kids when they have social support such as mum or granny.

 

[Tongjaw]

17 hours ago, Christiano9321 said:

Because I don't see us being together long term. That's one of the many reasons.

You’ve been together 2 years. Does your poor girlfriend know your just using her and about to dump her now?  What an absolute waste of oxygen you are. 

[DefaultName]

We have here a young, healthy, Thai girl in a stable relationship with a young fallang who has a few Baht in his pocket.  IMO, when push comes to shove, she'll want to keep the baby.

 

 

BTW, very few people ever think that time/circumstances are just right to have a baby, but things tend to work out anyway. 

Edited August 14, 2018 by DefaultName
speeling

[BestB]

7 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

My prediction is if the GF carries the baby to term, she will not want to give it up for adoption.  Women do change their minds from time to time.  I hope the OP has a Plan B. 

I am certain she got pregnant to tie him down. Women on the pill do not have “accidents “

 

Even assuming he is telling the truth about GF, I am more than certain she is agreeing with anything he says but with her own ideas.

 

Thai women rarely give up their kids when they have social support such as mum or granny.

 

[maxism67]

My wife and I will take care of the baby for you. Do not kill this child...please pm me, and I promise you Jesus, and my family will take care of this child.

[Tongjaw]

17 hours ago, Christiano9321 said:

Because I don't see us being together long term. That's one of the many reasons.

You’ve been together 2 years. Does your poor girlfriend know your just using her and about to dump her now?  What an absolute waste of oxygen you are. 

[Berkshire]

3 minutes ago, BestB said:

I am certain she got pregnant to tie him down. Women on the pill do not have “accidents “

 

Even assuming he is telling the truth about GF, I am more than certain she is agreeing with anything he says but with her own ideas.

 

Thai women rarely give up their kids when they have social support such as mum or granny.

 

Could be.  The GF could just be agreeing to the idea of an adoption so he won't push her to have an abortion.  But the OP is deluding himself if he thinks that after carrying around this baby for nine months, she would willingly want to give HER baby away to some stranger and get absolutely nothing in return.

[TonyClifton]

On 8/11/2018 at 9:06 PM, swissie said:

In such situations, the kid will be raised by the parents of the Lady. A certain amount of money will be paid to the parents that raise the kid.
= IT'S THE THAI-WAY and nothing unusual.
Cheers.

That "Thai way" is working out wonderfully for most of these children who get to grow up without fathers.  Fine people, they are rearing, these Thais using your version of the Thai way.

[tkenn]

If you were man enough to take her to bed, then you need to be man enough to raise the child.  Trust me, she wants the baby.  Her family wants the baby once they find out about her.

 

You are an adult and should be a man, our grandparents and great grand parents raised their kids on less than you do.  You are a businessman, you have an income, so please just be honest with yourself if you are not going to be honest with your online peers.  You just want justification to abandon the baby so you can tell your conscience you did the right thing.

 

The right thing is to let your girlfriend make up her own mind, and trust me, she wants the baby with or with out you.  If you are a real man, you will tell her parents and let the family make what is the best decision.  You are not in Kansas anymore, this is Thailand and you can not put your will and selfish lack of responsibility on your girlfriend and her family.

 

Again man up and take responsibility.  If you don't want to raise the kid, then let her and her family do.  Hope you will at least support her financially.

[ChrisKC]

I am very sad that your "talking it through" has led you both to abandon the responsibility for your baby. Didn't your girlfriend and you create a daughter from your love for each other?  On balance, it seems, without knowing the criteria from which you made your decision, that she will be an inconvenience. And who will tell her that when she grows up?

 

Most people on this forum, and I suspect most other people, would love you to change your mind!

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Tikky said:

My Thai wife and I ( USA ) living in Thailand can not seem to have a baby.  We would be interested in talking about this.  She is in her early 30s and I am older and settled and some say well off so giving the child a good home would be easy.   If you are interested is talking about this please contact me at   [email protected]

That is illegal

[Ridler]

Stop thinking about yourself and think about the baby. 

A baby who will always want to know who his or her parents are, why they were so unwanted and while you think you want to find a good family, it won’t be up to you.

do what is best for the child, you made a mistake, you made a child, now you have to deal with the consequences. 

Would you have wanted to be given up for adoption? So why get rid of your own child.

and please, don’t say keeping the baby is not an option, it’s the only option you selfish little boy

[ELVIS123456]

Agree with the majority - take responbsibility and keep the child - at the least let the family raise the child and you support them.

 

But if things cannot be done that way, then it is OK to adopt the child, as long as you stay involved (things change in life).

 

In hindsight - but best advice I can give to you and all blokes - if you dont want a child then get a vasectomy.

These days it is simple (but still use experienced Doc)  - and can be  made so it is reversible if you decide later you do wish to have a child.

 

 

 

 

[Media1]

You are full of excuses and taking thr cowards way out. I have nothing to offer 

[TonyClifton]

1 hour ago, ChrisKC said:

I am very sad that your "talking it through" has led you both to abandon the responsibility for your baby. Didn't your girlfriend and you create a daughter from your love for each other? 

 

PM me please.  I have a bridge you might be interested in buying.

[brewsterbudgen]

Wait until the baby is born , then kill the baby , choose whatever way you want to kill the baby after its been born  .
   Be nice to the baby , wait a week before you kill it , give the baby a chance to eat , breath and drink for a few days before you murder it , 

I don't think trying to be funny helps the OP very much.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[HHTel]

On 8/12/2018 at 1:08 PM, brewsterbudgen said:

While abortions are not strictly speaking legal in Thailand, they can be carried out legally under certain circumstances. 

 

http://site.pda.or.th/e_index.htm

 

 

 

Whilst I'm not taking one side or the other on abortion, you'll find it's quite legal in Thailand for a variety of reasons, much closer to the law in Europe than you think.

This is a better site:

http://www.khaosodenglish.com/news/2017/03/03/abortion-thailand-safe-legal-may-thought/

[jesimps]

Shame you didn't use your head instead of another part of your anatomy. Still, if you're a socialist, you probably think the baby has no say in the matter anyway and that the parents rights are paramount.

How can anyone with all their faculties, in this day and age accidentally become pregnant?

 

 

 

[cookieqw]

because you had  unprotected sex this child has to suffer.  probably not even yours - hope you suffer

[HHTel]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

That is illegal

No it's not but there are procedures to adhere to.  It's much easier for a Thai adoptive parent than a foreigner.

[cookieqw]

I'm a European business owner (caucasian) in my twenties, physically fit, healthy etc

so whats your business   --   selling babies

[sanemax]

40 minutes ago, brewsterbudgen said:

I don't think trying to be funny helps the OP very much.
 

Im not trying to be funny .

I dont think that there would be much difference in either killing the foetus now and killing the baby in five months time