She Says Her Husband Died?

[onekoolguy]

I've been dating this girl on a regular basis for a few years. We don't live together, however we take month long plus trips together. Lately she is talking about getting married and of course getting her a house as security as I am much older than she is.

She has 2 kids. Mid teens. I have only met them on video chat and they live with the former mother in law. She told me early in the relationship that her husband was killed on a construction job about 7 years prior. I had no reason to doubt her and was very sorry to hear. They were both early 30's at that time. Lately I asked her how he died and she supprised me by saying he was asleep and died of heart failure! Totally different story!

I really like her and was becoming a little emotionally involved. I know, that's a no no, but hard to avoid sometimes.  Now this makes me think that I have not been told the true story? She says she is a very private person and doesn't talk about her previous life much. She is a Nurse. Now i am seeing many things that don't add up? My question: Is it common for Thai Women to lie about her husband being killed? Why would she do this?

[faraday]

If you're considering marriage, you both need to talk about everything.

 

Lying about her husband's alleged death, does not sound good.

 

Look at her FB page....

[BigT73]

A habitual liar usually forgets their lies, a one off liar doesnt.

[lopburi3]

14 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

Why would she do this?

To save face if not married?

[CharlieH]

Oh dear, the answer as to why? is she needs to appear to be free to be with you.

There is more to this story, you need a frank blunt discussion or it will eat away at you and you will always have that nagging doubt and thats no way to develop any relationship as it will destroy trust.

 

 

[BritManToo]

20 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

Now this makes me think that I have not been told the true story?

Probably not, lots of women say 'dead' as it prevents questions like 'whos fault' and 'why'.

Normally they were never married in the first place.

 

Take her down to the local Amphur office with her ID card and get her to buy a 'Kor Saw Song'

20bht, and you get a document which shows her current official marriage status.

 

Why worry about her past, you know she isn't a virgin.

Their pasts often involve a bit of drugs, gangs, prostitution, entirely normal in most 3rd world countries.

Edited November 26, 2018 by BritManToo

[onekoolguy]

11 minutes ago, faraday said:

If you're considering marriage, you both need to talk about everything.

 

Lying about her husband's alleged death, does not sound good.

 

Look at her FB page.... 

It just occurred to me that there is no mention what so ever about kids or husband on her facebook pages?

Only pictures of her and lots of trips.

[ezzra]

Thai women not telling the truth, that's a new one on me...

me think that at that age with 2 grown kids in tow and no money she might have more love for the wallet that the man himself...

[onekoolguy]

8 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Oh dear, the answer as to why? is she needs to appear to be free to be with you.

There is more to this story, you need a frank blunt discussion or it will eat away at you and you will always have that nagging doubt and thats no way to develop any relationship as it will destroy trust.

 

 

Now I wonder if she is still married?

 

[lopburi3]

Well if he is dead or nonexistent would not expect there to be anything on Facebook and appears she does not take care of children so no need to have to explain them.

[Hank Gunn]

Run Forest, run!

[Orac]

5 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

It just occurred to me that there is no mention what so ever about kids or husband on her facebook pages?

Only pictures of her and lots of trips.

 

You need her real facebook page not the one for potential suitors.

[onekoolguy]

2 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Thai women not telling the truth, that's a new one on me...

me think that at that age with 2 grown kids in tow and no money she might have more love for the wallet that the man himself...

Unfortunately, I think you are right? 

I have been letting her use my new car. It has an anti theft gps devise. 

Gives complete map tracking. The other day she said she was in the hospital. But the car went on a three day trip to Ubon!

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

It just occurred to me that there is no mention what so ever about kids or husband on her facebook pages?

Only pictures of her and lots of trips.

Most nurses don't have the time or the money to take many 'trips'.

[lopburi3]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Most nurses don't have the time or the money to take many 'trips'.

There are nurses - and then there are nurses.

[BritManToo]

Just now, lopburi3 said:

There are nurses - and then there are nurses.

My last live in gf had a nurses uniform in her wardrobe. I enjoyed it.

But then she went on holiday for a week to visit some sick relatives and took the uniform with her.

So I moved out as I suspected it was, in reality, a trip with another guy.

[onekoolguy]

9 minutes ago, Orac said:

 

You need her real facebook page not the one for potential suitors.

I would love to find the real one? Have found 2 but both about the same. Lots of glamor shots etc. But you can find out a lot by going to the pages of people who post likes! Instagram probably shows more but I can't get in?

Deep in the FB pictures of friends  I found mentions of trips called "good jobs" Kind of a tip off I think?

All in All I guess it over but It really makes me sad!

Very intelligent, sexy, great English, American visa, good personality etc! 

Makes me want to overlook the lies but I know I can't?

[CharlieH]

On 11/26/2018 at 11:43 AM, onekoolguy said:

Unfortunately, I think you are right? 

I have been letting her use my new car. It has an anti theft gps devise. 

Gives complete map tracking. The other day she said she was in the hospital. But the car went on a three day trip to Ubon!

I knew of a "couple" in my village, She would go with a Thai man (her husband) when the farang was out of the country.

The husband was introduced as the cousin, and he used to drive the farang around and get him from the airport etc.

 

As for her 3 day trip, how do you know it was her? And she didnt lend the car to someone else ?

[onekoolguy]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My last live in gf had a nurses uniform in her wardrobe. I enjoyed it.

But then she went on holiday for a week to visit some sick relatives and took the uniform with her.

So I moved out as I suspected it was, in reality, a trip with another guy.

When you get one you really like and they have most of the qualities you look for in a woman, it hurts a lot to discover that they wanted the lifestyle not you?

 

[CanuckThai]

2 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

I would love to find the real one? Have found 2 but both about the same. Lots of glamor shots etc. But you can find out a lot by going to the pages of people who post likes! Instagram probably shows more but I can't get in?

Deep in the FB pictures of friends  I found mentions of trips called "good jobs" Kind of a tip off I think?

All in All I guess it over but It really makes me sad!

Very intelligent, sexy, great English, American visa, good personality etc! 

Makes me want to overlook the lies but I know I can't?

Try riding it out, without a huge financial injection.  Let the chips fall....

[faraday]

1 minute ago, onekoolguy said:

When you get one you really like and they have most of the qualities you look for in a woman, it hurts a lot to discover that they wanted the lifestyle not you?

 

Perhaps it means that the qualities you look for aren't right for you....?

 

 

[stevkob]

"getting her a house as security"

"killed on a construction job"

"he was asleep and died of heart failure"

"The other day she said she was in the hospital. But the car went on a three day trip to Ubon"

"I wonder if she is still married?"

" great English, American visa "

 

There must be a book in Thai language that they all use as the bible titled "The dummies guide how to suck a farang dry". Bestseller!!

 

[ChiangMaiLightning2143]

She’s lying and you are being cuckolded.

 

Dump her!

 

Amazing to me how many fall for women with kids and baggage with so many available.

 

[neeray]

26 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Oh dear, the answer as to why? is she needs to appear to be free to be with you.

There is more to this story, you need a frank blunt discussion or it will eat away at you and you will always have that nagging doubt and thats no way to develop any relationship as it will destroy trust.

 

 

This thread is just starting and you already have some great advice, ranging from "Run Forest, run"

to "A habitual liar usually forgets their lies, a one off liar doesn't." And many more like "it will eat away at you and you will always have that nagging doubt and thats no way to develop any relationship as it will destroy trust." The story about using your car and saying she was at the hospital speaks volumes. Proceed with extreme caution. I think the writing is on the wall.

Good luck.

[Odysseus123]

Good lord...

 

P.T Barnum was right on the money...well,we know he was,don't we?

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, onekoolguy said:

When you get one you really like and they have most of the qualities you look for in a woman, it hurts a lot to discover that they wanted the lifestyle not you?

 

Women's lies never bothered me, or what they wanted for that matter.

I WANT a good looking girl weighing less than 50Kg with a working womb and no diseases that I can't live with.

All women lie live in their own fantasy world, my advice, don't listen to what they are saying.

Edited November 26, 2018 by BritManToo

[onekoolguy]

1 minute ago, CharlieH said:

I knew of a "couple" in my village, She would go with a Thai man (her husband) when the farang was out of the country.

The husband was introduced as the cousin, and he used to drive the farang around and get him from the airport etc.

 

As for her 3 day tril, how do you know it was her? And she didnt lend the car to someone else ?

I asked her first if anyone else ever drove the car and she said no. Then how did the car get almost 2000km on it in 3 days? she said she drove back and forth to her parents house in Chon Buri. This was 2 weeks later and She forgot that she told me she was in the hospital I guess? The Gps program is pretty good as you can watch the car on maps in real time on your phone or computer!

Funny you mentioned the cousin. I asked her about a guy that had pics of the two of them on his FB. She said it was her cousin! HaHa. His family is in Ubon.

 

[marqus12]

some of them are liars at the level comparable only to classical psychopaths

[FritsSikkink]

She is a nurse but can take more than a month holiday? Strange.

She wants to marry you but wants a house.

She lied about her husbands death.

You are much older than she is.

 

Why would she lie to you? You are her future ATM.

[onekoolguy]

6 minutes ago, stevkob said:

"getting her a house as security"

"killed on a construction job"

"he was asleep and died of heart failure"

"The other day she said she was in the hospital. But the car went on a three day trip to Ubon"

"I wonder if she is still married?"

" great English, American visa "

 

There must be a book in Thai language that they all use as the bible titled "The dummies guide how to suck a farang dry". Bestseller!!

 

Why is it that so many of the women who learn great social skills are in it for the money? I really wish I could find a so called "Good Girl" with the same social skills?

I know that its just business for some women to learn to be great companions but sorting them out is tough!