Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 A woman went to the doctors practice, where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the corridor to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?" 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 Channel 4 are looking for people to take part in a documentary about people who made the most of the summer holiday by camping in their back gardens. It's being directed by Tentin Quarantino. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 A woman on the ward is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is sceptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his trousers and says, "I think she choked." 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Denis Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 Need to have my eyes examined, but am somewhat reluctant to visit... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Nigel Garvie Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 I think this is about his friend Katy Morans who he want's to help find a man. He recommends an Australian philosophy professor ...cue the Philosophers song. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 Well someone definitely got a “ raise “ !! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 If you see anything other than two tomatoes ....... go take a cold shower !! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 Probably the same guys who invented elevenis !! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 Here’s something we can all relate to !! 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 Hope none of you guys are eating right now !! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Denis Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 Mary Pooppins... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Peter Denis Posted June 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2020 The Stunning Truth... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted June 22, 2020 Share Posted June 22, 2020 True story ???? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Denis Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 Meanwhile at the castle... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Denis Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 Later that same day at the castle... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post VocalNeal Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 52 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said: ...and Mike Hunt 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 Went to a fancy restaurant last night & ordered the Giant Duck. Never again. The bill was enormous. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 I won my first cage fight yesterday. The budgie didn't know what hit him. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravip Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 12 minutes ago, ballpoint said: Just realised... a pelvis minus the P is Elvis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bluesofa Posted June 23, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 23, 2020 I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk". When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it. I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that... I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me. It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown. A clean house is the sign of a broken computer. Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog." Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live? To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches. 5 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 when what could have been Day99 of Lockdown... someone really needed to go Walkies... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 9 hours ago, Peter Denis said: Later that same day at the castle... Band On The Run!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now