Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a pharmacy. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"... The pharmacist answers "Yes".

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob:" Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundices?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety..... the works!"

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's Disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob:" You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes. Why do you ask? Is there something I can help you with?"

Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We've decided to make your store our Bridal Gift Shop Registry”

Rudolf not happy to go this year it seems.

I met a beautiful young woman at a nightclub, we were getting on very well when she said she had something to show me:

She removed her wig and she was totally bald.

''It's alopecia.'' She said. ''But if you still like me you can ask me anything."

Well, I have always wanted to know, so I asked her straight.

''Does your condition make you bald in other places?''

She whispered in my ear. ''There's only one way to find out.''

"Of course." I thought. "What an idiot, forgetting about Google at a time like this." 

A man calls his son in South Africa last week and said: "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says, so you call your sister in USA and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "they're doing no such thing", she shouts. I'll take care of this!

She calls home immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

"I told you, it's done! They are coming home for Christmas after so many years of refusing to come visit us" ????????☺️????????????

Merry Christmas in advance!!!!

4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I've not had mine yet as I'm still waiting for them to page!