Bob Geldof's looking pretty grumpy these days.
Does he know it's Christmas?

Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot.
I can't do them, but my headphone cable sure can.

Chris Rea and Mark Knopfler are collaborating on a Christmas charity single this year.

They are calling themselves Dire Rea.

6 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

TOP TIP OF THE DAY
If you ever date a dominatrix...
Never ever suggest it’s time to hit the sack.

Excatly! Being a dominatrix she would refuse; she is in charge, not you.

7 hours ago, ballpoint said:

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

So is that is you excuse for being such a ...................(insert as appropriate!)

 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I enjoy pi so much I could eat it 22/7.

How do you divide your square pies?

1 minute ago, fangless said:

So is that is you excuse for being such a ...................(insert as appropriate1)

Well at least he HAS an  excuse.......  ????????

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?? The boy replies No tanks mister, Sex is the last ting on me moind at the moment.

What do call a dog with no legs?

Anything you like, it won't come to you anyway.

 

22 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Statistically, 50% of Canada is the letter "A".

Eh?