I haven't visited my Gran since last October, so I popped round the other day.

There was no reply when I knocked on the door and rang the doorbell, so I looked through the window.

Cobwebs and insects in the window, even a skeleton on the couch.
She always makes a big effort for halloween.

 

Never Mind, I've lost my appetite

Adding insult to injury !!

Busted !!

A Lion, a Vegan and a Forest Deer have lunch in an expensive French restaurant. When the waiter comes to take the order the The Vegan says "I'll have Spinach quiche with hummus on the side". The Deer says "Hmmm , how about a nice bowl of mixed fruits with nuts. Oh, and a Caeser salad with ranch dressing." Waiter turns to the lion "and you?"

The lion says "separate checks please , I'll have two bottles of sparkling Perrier

........... and a container for the leftovers."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's really hot outside," a husband tells his wife, staring out the front window. "What do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn naked?" he asks jokingly.
The wife replies without looking up from the morning paper,

 

"They'll think that I must have married you for the money."
 

"I can't believe you're sleeping with my best friend!" a husband yells at his wife while packing up his belongings.
"Does the fact that he finds me attractive really surprise you?" the wife asks.
"Yes," the man replies, "especially after everything I've told him about you and that totally dysfunctional money grabbing inbred family of yours!"
 

A dad was trying to teach his kid about the evils of drinking.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky.

The worm in the water survived, but the worm in the whisky curled up and died almost immediately.

"All right, Jimmy," the father began, "what does this little experiment prove to you about drinking?"
"Well," the kid replied thoughtfully,

 

"it proves that if a person drinks whisky he probably won't get worms."
 

Looking forward to “ seeing “ in the new year !!

I'm pretty sure it was a Scotsman Yorkshireman who came up with this idea ...

 

 

I'm pretty sure it was a Scotsman Yorkshireman who came up with this idea ...

 
 

Good for another 3 weeks at least !!