An elderly woman’s husband dies. She wants an obit in the paper but she’s a real penny pincher.

 

She calls up the paper and says; “I need to get an obit for my husband in the paper. What’s the cheapest one you got?”

 

The person at the paper says; “Well ma’am, you have to buy at least one line.” The woman says; “Ok, I want it to say ‘Frank’s dead.’”

 

The person on the phone says; “Well ma’am, with one line you can have up to five words.”

 

The old woman says; “Wonderful! Then I want it to say “Frank’s dead. Truck for sale.”

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

 

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

 

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,

"Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"

 

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde, gave me a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put the handbrake on?"

 

 

 

And the letter that prompted this: 

 

Some <deleted> is signing your name to stupid letters (lettersofnote.com)

????She's a big fat cow, Twice the size of me

with hairs upon her belly like the bark upon a tree,

she can run jump, Furk, Fart,

wheel a barrow, push a cart,

She's the girl that's going to marry me????

 

1 hour ago, Martin71 said:

I can't spell persecuted either ????

On 9/14/2023 at 12:10 PM, Yellowtail said:

Some music to listen to whilst dining (this is a genuine album cover, from 1968 by the way)

 

 

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13 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

Tut,Tut,Tut. Peanuts are not nuts. 

Tell that the people who sell them 

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