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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Mick bursts into the Benefits Office and says, "I've been ringing 08001730, for three days now and nobody answers!"

The receptionist replies, "Those are our opening hours".

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We were in a restaurant last night and I ordered Napoleon chicken for the first time.
When It came there was no meat just the carcass.
I said to the waitress: "What's this?!!"
"She said: "It's the boney part".

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During my wife's labour, the nurse came up to us and said, "How about Epidural Anaesthesia?"
I said, "Thanks, but we've already picked a name."

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one day  it may be the person in the mirror that needs help

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I think I've found another Banksy

 

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2 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

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one day  it may be the person in the mirror that needs help

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Plenty of people have become poor from giving.

 

Half the plebs who have married Thais succumb to that fate.

 

And if I ever do need help, it won't be strangers - especially not in this country - who help me.

 

Take care of your own. 💯 

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54 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

 

Plenty of people have become poor from giving.

 

Half the plebs who have married Thais succumb to that fate.

 

And if I ever do need help, it won't be strangers - especially not in this country - who help me.

 

Take care of your own. 💯 

 especially not in this country - who help me.

 

Why on earth did you leave a country full of generous people and come to this country? 

An accident...???

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33 minutes ago, ravip said:

 especially not in this country - who help me.

 

Why on earth did you leave a country full of generous people and come to this country? 

An accident...???

My Thai wife's family has helped us out twice when I was taken to hospital after a blackout last year.

 

They are who helped us out in Thailand.

 

We have helped them out also, and we are still helping.

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

My Thai wife's family has helped us out twice when I was taken to hospital after a blackout last year.

 

They are who helped us out in Thailand.

 

We have helped them out also, and we are still helping.

I wonder who posted the sad emoji?

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