I've been learning German for twenty years.
It's zwanzig jahre.

Did you know the word Ikea is actually made up of two Swedish words?
Ika, meaning Sunday
and keya, meaning "ruined'.

The Department of Health is looking for couples who have been married for 7 years or more

to educate people on social distancing

Police recently reopened a 1980s cold case of an unidentified female murder victim.

After forensics DNA tested sperm stains on the woman's dress they found 285 matches.

The victim has been named as Eileen.

Alright, I can't spell Armageddon,
but it's not the end of the world.

For info,
The sign at the Hospital which states
"STROKE PATIENTS"
may not mean what you might think.

A doctor, a health insurance agent and a lab tech walk into a bar.

Who pays the tab?

The patients

I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently

It's really all about raisin awareness.

A young ex-farmer got a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets.

He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say:

 

"This is the whey"

Just been assaulted in a health food shop!

Someone threw a massive bottle of cod liver oil tablets at me.

 

Fortunately I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

 

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says,

 

“Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Same same, but different