Just after finishing a four year stint in the Navy, my friend changed her name from Marie to Mary. I asked her why.

“It’s like they always say,” I before E, except after sea"
 

Did you hear about the group of boats which crushed each other against their mooring structure?

Yet another casualty of pier pressure.
 

Did you hear about the farm that produced camel milk?

They shut down because of the chaos caused by camels running away and attacking people who tried to milk them.

That combined with legal disputes and a nasty divorce among the owners.

Yep.

Turned out to be a real drama-dairy!
 

 

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15 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

 

Well, some could do with a bit...

 

Sick of cliques?
Join the club

I entered a bus, A woman and her 7 years old son were sitting beside me in the bus. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prostitutes) were standing by the roadside.

The boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?.

His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.”

The bus driver turned around and said; “Why don’t you tell him the truth?"
"Little boy, they are prostitutes, they sleep with men for money" Said the Driver”

The boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy is that true?”

His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; “Yes.!!”

After a few minutes, the boy asked; “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?”

She replied; “Most of them become bus drivers"

They had to call the police to stop the fight.

I've just laid a chicken proof lawn.
Its impeccable.

A bird of prey has started nesting at the bottom of our garden. It doesn't do anything during the day,but I've noticed its very active at night especially when i start playing 80's pop music.
Our-kestrel-manoeuvres-in-the-dark.

One night a blonde teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern.

“Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he just doesn’t seem very nice.”

“Mum,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?”