18 hours ago, roo860 said:

The last British troops and their Afgan interpreters prepare to leave Kabul airport.

Oh Dear How Sad Never Mind.

The wife and I took up woodworking.
A friend said he didn't know we were Carpenters
I told him

"We've only just begun"

My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”

“Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.”

There was a brunette jumping from rail to rail on a train track saying, “21-21-21-21…”

A blonde comes along and asks the brunette what she is doing. The brunette didn’t answer.

So the blonde decided to jump from rail to rail saying, “21-21-21-21…” also.

Suddenly a large train honking its horn comes along. The brunette jumps off but the blonde stayed on and got killed by the train.

After the train passed by, the brunette jumps back on the tracks saying, “22-22-22-22…”

My neighbours seem to have been hit by a financial crisis. Got invited round yesterday and was fed mouldy cheese and drank old wine.

Then he showed my his car; it doesn’t even have a roof.

When I saw a bloke with one arm and one leg was about to be hanged,
I started shouting out letters.

My boss walked straight up to my desk as I was watching porn today and said,
"Do you think I pay people to do that?"
"Probably," I replied, "You're not exactly the best looking bloke in the world."

The Beach Boys are doing a series of concerts to raise money for African charities.
They want to help Rwanda, help, help Rwanda.

As I get older I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way.
I think, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me after all.

When a Jehovah's witness dies
does God pretend he's not in?

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.
I laugh more obviously.