Wife won't pay any bill

[55Jay]

Sex and money. 

[MaksimMislavsky]

In her mind, this probably translates as you don't love her anymore... Irresponsible, unsupportive, unreliable. She can no longer feel secure with you.

[smotherb]

On 3/1/2019 at 11:32 PM, 473geo said:

Your reason for asking this of her was?

 

 

Why would you not have your long-time partner pay the normal bills? Is she incompetent? Would she not help you pay the bills? Would she spend the money on something else?  Or, some other reason which would leave the bills unpaid?  If so, why would you be with such a woman?

Edited March 3, 2019 by smotherb

[smotherb]

On 3/2/2019 at 4:01 AM, rjwill01 said:

The Thai way is if you have a live in or wife, never ask her to pay anything. Part of the deal is to use your money. If she works, that money is her security if you leave. She's not going to use her money for bills.

Yeah, that sounds like a long-term bar fine rather than a live-in or wife. 

[smotherb]

On 3/2/2019 at 4:01 AM, rjwill01 said:

The Thai way is if you have a live in or wife, never ask her to pay anything. Part of the deal is to use your money. If she works, that money is her security if you leave. She's not going to use her money for bills.

Gee, someone needed to tell my daughter-in-law that. She shares the bills with my son; her husband. I think you may be misled.

[smotherb]

On 3/2/2019 at 12:30 PM, tifino said:

yes! - the only way to really know your outgoing Baht, are going into the actual Bills

 

 

Can you otherwise Allot via Regular payment deductions out of your Accounts?

Why can't you simply check to see if the bills were paid? 

[smotherb]

On 3/2/2019 at 12:44 PM, BritManToo said:

I assumed the OP wanted her to pay the bills with her own money.

 

Yeah, I did too. However, if they stayed together for years and she wouldn't; I'd be looking for another woman.  Unless, of course, she is only hired help.

[smotherb]

5 hours ago, Mavideol said:

sorry mate, reality hurts, but we are replaceable ATM's

Only if you allow yourself to be. If you do, then don't complain.

[smotherb]

4 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

This dude just lost face and control for now and the future.

Paying gives one control but that needs to be made clear from the get go.  No BS or Western female push backs accepted....

Too late for him now and many others it seems.

Why can't you control by discussing the situation and making the decision which best supports both of you?

[atyclb]

On 3/2/2019 at 7:56 AM, Pravda said:

On 3/2/2019 at 7:27 AM, bluesofa said:

my wife supports me.

 

Where did you meet her?

 

thaifriendly no doubt as she also has a phd

[Odin Norway]

5 hours ago, colinneil said:

Why are you posting nonsense?

 My wife pays herself, in nearly 8 years she has never ever asked me for even 1 baht.

First wife would lie, cheat, steal to get money, the complete opposite to my wife now.

Sorry for quoting you. You are not paying. Just sharing everything. My mistake.????

 

Some times yes, my first Thai wife would never pay i baht for anything.

My wife now completely different, if she goes food shopping she pays, we share everything.

[473geo]

1 hour ago, smotherb said:

Why would you not have your long-time partner pay the normal bills? Is she incompetent? Would she not help you pay the bills? Would she spend the money on something else?  Or, some other reason which would leave the bills unpaid?  If so, why would you be with such a woman?

My wife pays everything as I have said previously on many occasions, we have a joint account ???? My wife handles money better than I do for sure ???? so I let her get on with it.

 

In my view asking anybody to pay 5000 baht at short notice shows a distinct lack of consideration  - but I guess that is just the way I am.

[thailand49]

On 3/1/2019 at 7:47 AM, mentalcolonization said:

I just popped this today that she has to take care of the bills this month and it nearly escalated. I have no issues with extension though some may think. I am on a working visa and need to travel out for personal reasons.

Sadly,  you got it kind of wrong!   You travel down the road and now you want to do a U-turn on a one way Soi with a Thai. If she wanted to pay the bills she would have just married a Thai!

There is something more going on than you just wanting her to pay the bills this month?  You on a working Visa really doesn't come into play it is only an excuse for something deeper. 

[ToddinChonburi]

Lol. A kept man

[Skallywag]

5 hours ago, digger70 said:

  On 3/2/2019 at 7:27 AM, bluesofa said:

I think I'm living in a parallel universe. I'm a kept man, my wife supports me. I must be doing it wrong.

Are you "kept" in the kitchen cooking?  the bathroom cleaning?  Are you doing the laundry?  tending the garden?

OR

Does she really pay for your clothes, food, beer, rent, entertainment, travel, and medical bills and you truly have become one with the universe bluesofa   ?  ????

[YogaVeg]

On 3/2/2019 at 12:51 PM, BritManToo said:

I'm OK hiring women to sleep/live/reproduce with me, no need to delude myself it's about more than the money though, hired help is hired help, end of.

Good to be honest with yourself. ????

[YogaVeg]

4 hours ago, MaksimMislavsky said:

In her mind, this probably translates as you don't love her anymore... Irresponsible, unsupportive, unreliable. She can no longer feel secure with you.

Precisely this.

You blew it, your fault.

This type of thing can ONLY be negotiated at the very beginning, long before any promises are made.

Had an arrangement for years then pull this out of your hat? Decided to renegotiate the terms out of thin air? An act of war.

How can she trust you now? Major loss of face.

You better get a Thai intermediary to negotiate this mess you just created.

 

Edited March 3, 2019 by YogaVeg

[bluesofa]

35 minutes ago, Skallywag said:

Are you "kept" in the kitchen cooking?  the bathroom cleaning?  Are you doing the laundry?  tending the garden?

OR

Does she really pay for your clothes, food, beer, rent, entertainment, travel, and medical bills and you truly have become one with the universe bluesofa   ?  ????

At one with the universe. I like that!

 

Yes, my wife supports me financially with everything. When we met, I had a job for a few years and supported her. Then the job went down the pan.

I went to back to the UK for a few months to look for work. That wasn't easy at all, having lived in Thailand for more than fifteen years at that point.

My wife was doing well at the time selling real estate, so said I should come back to Thailand and she'd support me.

I'm not kept in the kitchen ha ha! However, I do wash all the dishes, my wife does the cooking. I do the laundry too. That seems only fair to me, to help around the house as my wife looks after me financially.

 

I suppose I could be opening myself up to some piss-taking by die-hard misogynists, especially the ones who say Thai women are only interested in your money.

If that's all they can do, it's no skin off my nose. If it was, I'm sure my health insurance (my wife pays for) would cover a new nose.

Let the piss-taking begin...

[BTB1977]

Time to move on to one with more money if she can not provide for you and your family. 

[The Theory]

Marriage is great thing to do. I’ve done it 4 times, but after 4 times dealing with marriage I learned that divorce is even better than marriage. and I always have chance to override rules by living with a partner. ????????

God bless you all. 

[tabarin]

I would leave her assuming you are both working but even if not, if she has money to pay for that and you already pay for years,
it is a no-brainer for her to do so if she loves you. Seems like she does not but does not got a follow up boyfriend yet either.

 

Tell her to pay for it and if she doesn't, kick her out. Will cost her more to move into her own place.

Edited March 3, 2019 by tabarin

[Damrongsak]

I hate to hear of this strife.  With my wife and I, everything has always been joint ownership for the last 40+ years.  (Maybe not my retirement accounts but in the USA she owns half of that anyway.) For the last 25 or so years I let her use the check book and pay the bills, as I was known to pay in full when I felt like it, LOL. I was busy making money, let her spend it. And she is frugal.  Now that we are in our mid-sixties, I try to tell her about our financial situation, but it bores her.  As long as she has a few orchids hanging in the fruit trees in the yard and her little toy chickens, she's happy.

[YogaVeg]

12 hours ago, bluesofa said:

At one with the universe. I like that!

 

Yes, my wife supports me financially with everything. When we met, I had a job for a few years and supported her....

 

My wife was doing well at the time selling real estate, so said I should come back to Thailand and she'd support me.

 

I suppose I could be opening myself up to some piss-taking by die-hard misogynists, especially the ones who say Thai women are only interested in your money.

???? Awesome! Nice healthy relationship, 2 folks that clearly want to be together and take care of each other.

 

See folks? Love exists in Thailand.

 

What I find ironic is the falang who just can't grasp that to a Thai woman, financial support is a huge display of love, truth, and commitment. Yet, these same falang whine "oh she doesn't love me, oh I'm being used" when down the road years later (OP) they develop animosity because the woman isn't "paying her way", because NOW they've decided that money=love in reverse.

 

It's the same thing in reverse guys. Only the socioeconomic situations usually dictate that the falang comes from much wealthier background and opportunity so should be the obvious bread-winner.

 

 

[wildewillie89]

When I got married the wife of the District Office boss said to my Mrs that if a foreigner moves to Thailand then the Thai wife should look after him. If the Thai national moves to the foreigners country then the foreigner must look after her. 

That is how our house works now. The Mrs pays all the bills, and my salary goes into the development of our children and dogs. 

[Liverpudlian]

18 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

When I got married the wife of the District Office boss said to my Mrs that if a foreigner moves to Thailand then the Thai wife should look after him. If the Thai national moves to the foreigners country then the foreigner must look after her. 

That is how our house works now. The Mrs pays all the bills, and my salary goes into the development of our children and dogs. 

Dogs ! Cats are the way to go, they bury there own shit. ????

[wildewillie89]

1 minute ago, Liverpudlian said:

Dogs ! Cats are the way to go, they bury there own shit. ????

Lol. The dogs generally shit in one area of the yard that is far from the kids playground so not too bad. Cats cant keep all the visitors away. 

[Jaggg88]

On 3/2/2019 at 12:27 AM, bluesofa said:

I think I'm living in a parallel universe. I'm a kept man, my wife supports me. I must be doing it wrong.

I used to pay for everything but now my wife pays half - can someone tell me where I went wrong? She wants me to retire and move back to Thailand so she put 400,000 THB in my bank account ready for marriage extension - I feel so cheap ????