'Trapped'

[colinneil]

OP you are in a very difficult situation, whatever you do, whatever happens, take good care of your child.

The child is the most important, to hell with your wifes family.

Stand up to your wife, no need for arguments, if she wont compromise, get out.

As long as her family are there pushing her there will never be a solution to your problem.

[Spidey]

9 minutes ago, sanemax said:

You sleep in the same bed as your step children, without the mother being there ?

I sleep in the same bed as my stepson (6) when his mother isn't there. We're father and son, got an issue with that?

 

If you have got an issue you've got serious problems, sicko, in my opinion.

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, Spidey said:

I sleep in the same bed as my stepson (6) when his mother isn't there. We're father and son, got an issue with that?

 

If you have got an issue you've got serious problems, sicko, in my opinion.

I am a sicko and have a serious problem, because I wouldnt sleep in a bed with children who are not mine .......................OK

[Spidey]

Just now, sanemax said:

I am a sicko and have a serious problem, because I wouldnt sleep in a bed with children who are not mine .......................OK

OK sicko.

[soistalker]

You're not dealing with sophisticated people. At the center of the problem Is you, and your ability to provide for the extended family. You are the outsider in your marriage. Your wife is first a member of her family. Second, she is your wife. That's the order.

Guys....if you are going to marry a thai woman, which I would never suggest, then you have to lay down the rules for behavior of your wife, and especially the members of her family. Make a set of rules that cannot be broken. For example,  no unannounced visits. The number of times that I have heard of thai relatives showing up and staying for weeks at a time is too many to count. 

I heard firsthand a story about a guy who decided to take his girlfriend to a nice beach. She told her family about it, and next thing this guys knows, there are 15 relatives showing up. Everyone eats and drinks like a free buffet, because it is a free buffet...a farang paid lunch. At the end, the waitress brings him the bill, and he said he paid the money, with a stupid look on his face as he knew he had been played by them. No one said thank you or was appreciative at all.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

He broke up with her the next day, telling her, "this isn't going to work out.

Bottom line: stop being a sucker.

[AlexRich]

49 minutes ago, john69 said:

If you marry a Thai lady, you marry the family.

 

If you expect the child to live in Thailand the rest of its life, let the mother do most of the "parenting".

 

I have a son (14 years old) and let the parenting mostly to my wife, only giving guidance where it pertains to common sense or moral/ethical matters. My son will spend the rest of his life in Thailand. My wife knows best what works for him. 

 

Get over your ego and go with the flow. Just focus on giving and your child will recognize it.

Are you his wife hiding behind a disguise?

 

if he was going to do that best just leave, make money dependent on seeing child, and live a more relaxing life by the sea.

[Wake Up]

1 hour ago, Spidey said:

Others have said that it's a business, I prefer to see it as a partnership. Both parties need to be seen to contribute equal amounts to the partnership and that doesn't necessarily mean money, one might contribute the greater amount of money, the other the greater amount of time and effort, but it must balance. Decisions should be made jointly which, of course, often means compromise which also should be seen as equally shared.

 

Some say business, some say partnership, semantics really.

I agree but in Thailand as compared to USA the Thai mom and dad and family have a lot more influence over the wife/ girlfriend. Some wives have difficult time trying to please their God mom and their husband and children and choose their God mom. I like Thailand and like the idea of taking care and respecting the elderly but some of the elderly parents are not good people. They expect to rule with an iron guilt fist. People say guilt does not exist in Thailand like it does in the west. I say the whole Thailand family hierarchy is built on guilt from birth to death and beyond. 

 

OP you have some tough decisions. I don’t know any marriage counselors or people to recommend you too. But try to seek out advice from a professional. All of our comments on TVF are what worked or did not work for us based on our unique experiences. Do what is best for you and that will end up what is best for your family IMO. I lived in a bad marriage for many years because I believed it was noble and right to do what is best for the kids and put them first. I was wrong and I wish I had of asked for advice like you are doing now. So props to you for trying to resolve these painful and emotional family issues. Good luck. ???? 

Edited March 13, 2019 by Wake Up

[emptypockets]

36 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Thai way - everyone sleeps in the same bed.

I found it strange at first, but I'm used to it now.

I refuse to have my mother-in-law (former) in my bed though.

Too young for you? 

[AlexRich]

19 minutes ago, colinneil said:

OP you are in a very difficult situation, whatever you do, whatever happens, take good care of your child.

The child is the most important, to hell with your wifes family.

Stand up to your wife, no need for arguments, if she wont compromise, get out.

As long as her family are there pushing her there will never be a solution to your problem.

Given that he’s living with the in-laws your default advice of an electronic gate doesn’t work with this one Colin? Lol.

[AlexRich]

17 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

My advise is that you need to man up and grow a pair. Sounds like you lead a pitful existance, dude.

No advice at all then? 

[colinneil]

1 hour ago, john69 said:

If you marry a Thai lady, you marry the family.

 

If you expect the child to live in Thailand the rest of its life, let the mother do most of the "parenting".

 

 

 

What a load of nonsense, marry the family ha, ha ,ha.

Sadly the OP is living with his outlaws, if he lived near them he could do as i did, electric gate, nobody comes in without an invite, problem solved.

[soalbundy]

A word from the wise,"If you can't change a situation, if you can't walk away from a situation, accept it, fully and without internal complaint". It works wonders.

[bkk6060]

Thailand is for having fun and enjoying as much sex as possible with many girls.

Too many sad weak stories like the OP.

[dotpoom]

It is a well established fact ...people can do whatever they like to me........."If I allow them to".

[AlexRich]

7 minutes ago, colinneil said:

What a load of nonsense, marry the family ha, ha ,ha.

Sadly the OP is living with his outlaws, if he lived near them he could do as i did, electric gate, nobody comes in without an invite, problem solved.

I knew it ... the “go to” default advice never fails. Did you ever consider a moat and drawbridge? 

[brokenbone]

option 1, crawl back to the shithole and get a mixed company.

option 2, stay in condo with no company.

option 3, stay in condo and get company.

 

too bad coins dont have 3 sides to flip,

i think i would opt for going out and party for a while,

being single does have some nice attributes

[soalbundy]

Just now, bkk6060 said:

Thailand is for having fun and enjoying as much sex as possible with many girls.

Too many sad weak stories like the OP.

When will we hear a weak sad story about you getting aids and not knowing what to do.

[AlexRich]

1 minute ago, bkk6060 said:

Thailand is for having fun and enjoying as much sex as possible with many girls.

Too many sad weak stories like the OP.

That is the master plan, but for many people “love”, also known as temporary insanity, gets in the way, followed by babies, followed by emotional blackmail. Paradise lost, so to speak.

[soalbundy]

Just now, AlexRich said:

I knew it ... the “go to” default advice never fails. Did you ever consider a moat and drawbridge? 

His advice isn't that bad actually, I think it's an old Scottish proverb that says, 'strong walls make for good neighbours'.

[bkk6060]

7 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

When will we hear a weak sad story about you getting aids and not knowing what to do.

I guess you have never heard of or used a condom.

Please, Time to grow up and not be a fool!

Edited March 13, 2019 by bkk6060

[AlexRich]

Just now, soalbundy said:

His advice isn't that bad actually, I think it's an old Scottish proverb that says, 'strong walls make for good neighbours'.

Never heard that saying, and I am one. 

[Longcut]

On 3/11/2019 at 6:54 PM, BritManToo said:

Stand your ground, and live your life. Don't argue, don't discuss, avoid her family.

Don't give her or the kid any money, it's gotta be your way or the highway.

In others words "Man up". 

[mstevens]

1 hour ago, john69 said:

Get over your ego and go with the flow. Just focus on giving and your child will recognize it.

I don't think it's about ego. If someone is not happy in a relationship, they're not happy.....ego is not usually part of it.

[Essex Reject]

26 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

No advice at all then? 

Erh, I think you will find it IS advice. The OP sounds like a real fairyso I gave my opinion on a public forum. He asked for advice and that is mine..he needs to grow a backbone. Are you another lapdog, then? 

[sanemax]

15 minutes ago, bkk6060 said:

Thailand is for having fun and enjoying as much sex as possible with many girls.

Too many sad weak stories like the OP.

After sex , theres children and responsibility 

[AlexRich]

11 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

Erh, I think you will find it IS advice. The OP sounds like a real fairyso I gave my opinion on a public forum. He asked for advice and that is mine..he needs to grow a backbone. Are you another lapdog, then? 

All you offer is a pointless cliche, and you’ve now offered another one.

 

If it was just him and the wife, he could tell her her to bugger off, head for the seaside condo and enjoy life. But that’s not his situation, he has a kid or kids. So he needs some smart practical advice, as it’s not actually possible to grow your own balls or a backbone just by wishing it, your “advice” is not only impossible but also has no practical value.

 

My advice was to move out, as he’ll never have any control over the children’s future, live by the sea and have fun, tell his wife when he wants to see his kids, and explain that if she’s not happy with that arrangement she’ll be even less happy with the absence of money. 

 

Understand?

[AlexRich]

16 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

Jesus wept, man.

 

Where do people like you come from?

Funnily enough, I was thinking the same about you? Probably some lairy Romford born loudmouth with half a functioning brain? 

[mike787]

2 hours ago, OmarZaid said:

Marriage is business ... find a compromise that works for both, or cut your losses and leave ... which includes leaving the child.

This the BEST advice.  WHY?  Because I tested it.  It happened the same way to me as it did to you.  Then I did what OmarZaid stated,  Everything worked out!  I am solo.  Not getting married.  Kids don't talk to me - fine.  But my door is always open and they know that.  The wife remarried.  And I have peace in me and around me, my bank is full, and  many girls everywhere still chase me - even lady boys chase me. They promise to give me "love" for "money".  I said NO thx...I love myself and my life, don't need or want what you got, and I am not paying sin sot for anything you're selling.  Yep, I love the vagina, but not enough to sacrifice MY life for that.  I tried the sacrifice path, it didn't work for me.  Better to rent/lease it, but NOT buy it.  Get your head right on, accept reality (gradually), move on...everything WILL work out over time...you watch....

Edited March 13, 2019 by mike787
forgot to add pic

[AlexRich]

2 minutes ago, mike787 said:

This the BEST advice.  WHY?  Because I tested it.  It happened the same way to me as it did to you.  Then I did what OmarZaid stated,  Everything worked out!  I am solo.  Not getting married.  Kids don't talk to me - fine.  But my door is always open and they know that.  The wife remarried.  And I have peace in me and around me, my bank is full, and  many girls everywhere still chase me - even lady boys chase me. They promise to give me "love" for "money".  I said NO thx...I love myself and my life, don't need or want what you got, and I am not paying sin sot for anything you're selling.  Yep, I love the vagina, but not enough to sacrifice MY life for that.  I tried the sacrifice path, it didn't work for me.  Better to rent/lease it, but NOT buy it.  Get your head right on, accept reality (gradually), move on...everything WILL work out over time...you watch....

It requires a certain amount of hard heartedness but I couldn’t agree more.

[AlexRich]

3 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

Ha ha. So is it better to be a snowflake weak fairy like you and let woman walk all over me?

 

Where you from yourself?

 

 

 

Romford