Sin Sod - who here got married without paying and what makes it not apply?

[bbi1]

Who here has gotten married without paying sin sod? What factors also influence sin sod not being applicable where a Thai person wouldn't pay it? Would they do it if the girl was dirvorced? What about if she had a kid already? What about both? Any other circumstances?

[Denim]

Topic never came up. We had lived together happily for 10 years and only got married to make visa application easier.

[Moonlover]

Wife was a divorcee, both parents demised, sin sod not applicable.

 

I would never 'buy' a wife anyway. They're humans, not cattle!

[OneMoreFarang]

No marriage, no sin sod - problem solved.

[RichardColeman]

My wife is a school teacher by trade - excellent education, owns far more land than I do, etc - I paid ZERO sinsod. She has two daughters - now living with Gran - from a pathetic Thai man she married in name only.

 

If the girl has been married before AND/OR has kids then I would suggest zero sinsod as the right price. If you met her in a bar, I would also not pay sinsod - she's is a hooker after all !!!  I think many Thai parents accept the fact they will get zero sinsod in these instances, but do not want to be insulted, she is their daughter remember.

 

My advice if she has kids and/or divorced, sit down with parents and be honest and say you will not pay a sinsod due to her previous circumstances, BUT, are happy to help out the family in other daily matters in their lives within reason (don't go over the top). 

 

If your woman is from a bar, divorced with kids AND wants a sinsod, then you are just a cash cow. Walk away

 

 

 

[Kinnock]

Similar(ish) to Denim's above.

 

After 8 years living together we decided it would make visa applications easier if we formalized our happy relationship.  She had never been married, no kids and has a good (but low paying) job. 

 

She entered some complex negotiations with her Mother that made the Brexit issue look simple - and I bought some gold and emptied the cash machine adjacent to the hotel where we had the ceremony.

 

We got dressed up like Aladdin and Jasmine, put gold and cash on a fancy plate, knelt until my legs went dead, had a great party with her large extended family, sang karaoke, drank enough to make our ancestors proud, then after breakfast next day I got all the gold back except for a personal gift for her Mother, plus all the cash.

 

I was prepared to give some Sin Sod, but was not an active member of the negotiating team, and was surprised and slightly embarrassed that I got almost everything back. 

 

I'd paid for the party and hotel bookings plus vans and an impressive amount of Chang Beer, but I think the right woman will protect your (joint) assets.

[RichardColeman]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No marriage, no sin sod - problem solved.

yeah, but them 1,000 baht a night 'gratuities' and bar fines add up to a sin sod pretty quickly - though you get a different view every day I guess

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, RichardColeman said:

yeah, but them 1,000 baht a night 'gratuities' and bar fines add up to a sin sod pretty quickly - though you get a different view every day I guess

I have the same girlfriend for many years. At some stage she gave up mentioning marriage.

[Pravda]

I didn't but my ex wife put her own cash for the ceremony. She did so because she knew the parents would return the money. 

 

Personally I have nothing against this tradition. I know for a fact that a lot of Thai men pay way more than farang, but they also marry better quality women. 

[Matzzon]

35 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Who here has gotten married without paying sin sod? What factors also influence sin sod not being applicable where a Thai person wouldn't pay it? Would they do it if the girl was dirvorced? What about if she had a kid already? What about both? Any other circumstances?

Really, you do not know that?

 

Answer: It can not apply if you do not agree to it. (You shouldn´t either. People are not for sale.)

[sunnyboy2018]

24 minutes ago, Moonlover said:

Wife was a divorcee, both parents demised, sin sod not applicable.

 

I would never 'buy' a wife anyway. They're humans, not cattle!

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

[sunnyboy2018]

4 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

Really, you do not know that?

 

Answer: It can not apply if you do not agree to it. (You shouldn´t either. People are not for sale.)

It has nothing to do with selling people. And you should not be telling people what to do given your scant understanding. Simpy not your business. Did the OP ask for your advice? There are many reasons not to agree to Sinsot but the issue of buying and selling people is not one of them. In many cases sinsod is symbolic with monies and gold being returned after having been put on display. BTW A gold wedding is not a symbol of slavery or ownership...just to put your mind at rest!

[Matzzon]

2 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

It has nothing to do with selling people

No, it hasn´t. That bacause in real Thai tradition this money is just for show and shall after the marriage and the show be returned to the married couple for a good start in their marriage.

You see, I knew that too. Is there something more you wish to inform me about today, sunnyboy2018?

[Denim]

5 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

A dowry system, right or wrong has NOTHING to do with cattle or buying people. Traditionally its viewed as security for the wife against death or seperation of the husband. 

 

Except in India where the boot is on the other foot.

[holy cow cm]

Who cares. We end up taking care one way or the other. If it is your first marriage to anyone w=then have a good time if you have to baht to rub together. . 

[4MyEgo]

I raised the subject about the Sin Sod (Thai Dowry) with my wife to be at the time she accepted my invitation to marry. She was quite surprised that I actually knew about her culture to that level, that said, I asked her what amount she would like, naturally she said up to you, with my reply being, no, it's up to you, so back and forth until she finally circumed and said, ok a million baht then, I said a million baht, I was going to offer you a million $'s......jokes aside, I invited her to accept my offer of 200,000 or 1/5th of that and she said, ok, after that, I said plus 300,000 baht for your twin boys education, they were 3 at the time (now 15) and she was confused, I therefore explained it to her in detail, and she was over the moon, but the condition was that the 300,000 was strictly for her boys education which she has complied with too this day, naturally the parents requested the lot for the showing, e.g. our Sin Sod is bigger than yours, and returned the 300,000 for the kids education straight after the ceremony and we deposited into my wife's account. 

 

Some might say I bought her and they would never do such a thing, but I would say to that, each to their own, her parents were grateful as was my wife. That was 12 plus years ago and as long as that miniscule amount assisted her parents for as long as it did, and the 300,000 baht went for the twins education, I can say that I did what is a cultural expectation and beyond, no one demanded anything in any sense, again, each to their own on how they perceive things in the Thai culture and what if anything they want to contribute. My wife's parents are happy with me and the fact that I can take care of their daughter, so I guess I missed out on the name which eludes me at the moment, it's Charlie or something like that ????

 

I suppose having a European background with similar cultural expectations when marrying, called a (Prika) helped in me making my decision, not sure of the spelling though, but as I said, made it easy for me to accept their cultural expectations when it came to the Sin Sod.  

[Matzzon]

26 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

It has nothing to do with selling people. And you should not be telling people what to do given your scant understanding. Simpy not your business. Did the OP ask for your advice? There are many reasons not to agree to Sinsot but the issue of buying and selling people is not one of them. In many cases sinsod is symbolic with monies and gold being returned after having been put on display. BTW A gold wedding is not a symbol of slavery or ownership...just to put your mind at rest!

And you should not be telling me what to do. 

[Nyezhov]

In the USA its called alimony. Been there, done that

[brokenbone]

i paid my prostitute a one time fee of 5k for marriage (visa), and another 5k after divorce

was signed

 

[Monomial]

Everyone I know who married in Thailand displayed sinsot. And everyone I know who married in Thailand had it returned after the ceremony. This has been going on for 20 years. It is a ritual, that's all.  If you are "paying" sinsot, refuse.

 

 

[fishtank]

Pay for a wife? No way. Why would you do that?

[CharlieH]

Didnt pay anything and didnt have a "village wedding" either.

Just the correct legal procedure at the Amphur.

 

 

[thaiguzzi]

Nope.

[Denim]

19 minutes ago, Nyezhov said:

In the USA its called alimony. Been there, done that

That should be spelled .... Allmemoney.

[bbi1]

1 hour ago, RichardColeman said:

If the girl has been married before AND/OR has kids then I would suggest zero sinsod as the right price.

This is what I was thinking too. Do other people here agree with this statement?

[jastheace]

16 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

This is what I was thinking too. Do other people here agree with this statement?

yes. and do away with the ceremony if married before. just register at the amphur.

[bbi1]

59 minutes ago, jastheace said:

yes. and do away with the ceremony if married before. just register at the amphur.

Is it common that if someone was married before, then there's no wedding ceremony? Even if the parents of the woman is expecting a traditional wedding?

[The Fat Controller]

You can gain a lot of "face" if you show a decent pile of cash and/or gold at a traditional Thai wedding, even if it's not the first marriage for the lady.

 

My wife wanted to do it to make her mum happy.

 

Worked very well, my wife's family and friends are still very welcoming five years down the line.

 

As previously said, it's all for show with a decent Thai family, every Baht was back in our bank account the evening of the wedding.

 

The traditional Thai ceremony was 9 months after the amphur paperwork.

 

 

 

 

[White Christmas13]

3 hours ago, Nyezhov said:

In the USA its called alimony. Been there, done that

No alimony is when you get divorced not when you get married

[sirineou]

 He had being together for close to three years before we got married in Thailand. By then we were really a family, had helped them with many things, they had helped me with other things Like all families do, 

The sin Sod was really me,  Brought my wife to the US, send her to school, helped her start a business. in return she make her family wealthy. They would not dream of asking me for anything, and if they did I would had happily shared anything I have. I love them all .

During the Thai wedding we gave them a bunch of money , but just for show. They gave it back afterwards,

Sadly both Mom and Dad passed away recently. Dad unexpectedly overnight (was Ok day before, did not wake up) Mom had kidney failure, and after Dad passed away she just gave up (they were two peas in a pod).

but at least they lived long enough to see both their daughters marry well and have a good life. I miss them both terribly. Thailand is not the same without them.