My girlfriends job

[473geo]

5 minutes ago, roaming2019 said:

it is better to have only sex  rather  an relationship which is built on money

unless you make easy money . 

His girlfriend is putting in great deal of effort to ensure down the line the relationship will have a foundation for the future with income, her family have contributed the means, the plan is good and underway

 

Op doesn't want to be out on the farm all day, bless, ???? a bit hot and dirty for him it appears

 

If he has the funds he could support his wife by paying for assistance he has now withdrawn, but no, that too is painful, he has become surplus to requirements and in this case is surely better off heading back to the city because he is neither ready or equipped for this relationship

 

 

 

[Mavideol]

23 hours ago, MrMilk said:

How can I end up with no obligations related to her work and still keep my girlfriend?

you are not married, the easiest thing to do ?.....run Forest, run

[henry2109]

7 minutes ago, 473geo said:

His girlfriend is putting in great deal of effort to ensure down the line the relationship will have a foundation for the future with income, her family have contributed the means, the plan is good and underway

 

Op doesn't want to be out on the farm all day, bless, ???? a bit hot and dirty for him it appears

 

If he has the funds he could support his wife by paying for assistance he has now withdrawn, but no, that too is painful, he has become surplus to requirements and in this case is surely better off heading back to the city because he is neither ready or equipped for this relationship

 

 

 

As I understood it, he actually does not have the money to continuing pooring 35'000 Baht a month in this project for the next 4 years respectivly this would clean him completely empty.

 

What would you think if the op closed up a life insurance for him, making a deposit of 200'000 Baht out of his pocket, and asking the Gf then to pay the monthly premiums of 35'000 Baht for the next 5 years for him? And tells the GF, "honey, it's for our future, please understand".

[wotsdermatter]

23 hours ago, MrMilk said:

I have the "pleasure" of going with her weekly to help her too

Make sure you have a work permit or you could be toast because she could dob you in if she really wanted to or because somebody else could.  Just saying.

'nuf sed

[473geo]

26 minutes ago, henry2109 said:

As I understood it, he actually does not have the money to continuing pooring 35'000 Baht a month in this project for the next 4 years respectivly this would clean him completely empty.

 

What would you think if the op closed up a life insurance for him, making a deposit of 200'000 Baht out of his pocket, and asking the Gf then to pay the monthly premiums of 35'000 Baht for the next 5 years for him? And tells the GF, "honey, it's for our future, please understand".

You are probably talking about an endowment policy and it is uncommon to find one less than ten years - so her plan is better if funding is limited

Edited April 26, 2020 by 473geo

[roaming2019]

35000 per month is  a lot of money  unless op  has  easy money to throw which I doubt .  trust me  i heard many story where the thai man dont give 1000 baht to there wife 

[roaming2019]

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

His girlfriend is putting in great deal of effort to ensure down the line the relationship will have a foundation for the future with income, her family have contributed the means, the plan is good and underway

it is ok if 5000 per month but not with 35000 baht/month - op is so naive if he believes this .   i know  how my girlfriend's  mother say her to cut relationship with me if I dont give  10000 per month . 

[473geo]

6 minutes ago, roaming2019 said:

it is ok if 5000 per month but not with 35000 baht/month - op is so naive if he believes this .   i know  how my girlfriend's  mother say her to cut relationship with me if I dont give  10000 per month . 

This is a crucial time in the project getting the trees established, costs should ease a little down the line

[473geo]

23 minutes ago, roaming2019 said:

35000 per month is  a lot of money  unless op  has  easy money to throw which I doubt .  trust me  i heard many story where the thai man dont give 1000 baht to there wife 

Please feel free to adopt this Thai model - Enjoy Thailand

[Logosone]

16 hours ago, MrMilk said:

So I got a clear answer this evening. Sat her down after dinner and brought it up in a calm and friendly manner.

 

I talked about the farm situation once again. And how the money just keep pouring out.

I asked her why she did not offer me anything in return, and if she felt that was fair for the both of us.

She answer that I shouldn't think like that and that she would of course spend some of her money in the future back on me/our kids.

 

I asked her how she would finance the next 4-5 years and what her plan was.

She replied it was not easy and she needed support to get through until then.

Then I asked her if she and her mom had talked about this. If mom could help her grow her business as it was difficult for me to continue doing so. (Mom should have seen this coming right, since she done it for years and know that her daughter didn't have finances to continue this for years.)

Her reply was that they did not talk about that. Because it was a difficult subject (??!!!) to talk about.

 

I stressed her a bit more and asked what kind of expectations her mom had to me as a boyfriend.

The answer was that mom expected me to take care of her and also help out with the expenses at the farm. And of course to get married this year. My girlfriend also expected these things.

 

If you include everything its expected from their side that I pay like 30-35.000 every month to be with her daughter.

On top of this they want a wedding which is estimated to cost around 800.000 (moms estimate).

 

At this point it was pretty tense.

I looked at her and said "do you think its fair that I have to pay all that money to be with you. And you offer/give me nothing back.?" 

She replied " Well, I just have to move back to my parents if you can not help me".

Seriously, she seen this coming just as much as me. Why she dont try to make some money on the side, or come up with anything at all. Why she cant show some kind of positive initiative to solve this?

 

New fight. Both upset. Cant even stay in same room. Same old. ????

 

 

Welcome to Hardball 101.

 

So you are expected to pay 35,000 Baht a month but your girlfriend does not bother to cook for you or do housework?

 

I can imagine what the bedroom situation is like if she's too tired to cook and keep house.

 

So we are looking at a thirtysomething farm girl, who does not take care of you, does not cook or clean and probably does not attend to other very important duties.

 

And you're asked to pay 35000?

 

Hmmm, tough decision.

 

The viability of the Durian project is neither here nor there. This whole set up has EXIT in flashing red lights written all over it.

 

But your call, son.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, Logosone said:

So you are expected to pay 35,000 Baht a month but your girlfriend does not bother to cook for you or do housework?

I can imagine what the bedroom situation is like if she's too tired to cook and keep house.

Not necessarily true,

mine says I've only hired her for the bedroom, and if I want housekeeping or housework then I should hire a maid.

 

But as the OP is claiming love, you're probably right, love always means much less sex.

Edited April 26, 2020 by BritManToo

[473geo]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Not necessarily true,

mine says I've only hired her for the bedroom, and if I want housekeeping or housework then I should hire a maid.

 

But as the OP is claiming love, you're probably right, love always means much less sex.

Where as in your case more washing up?

[Logosone]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Not necessarily true,

mine says I've only hired her for the bedroom, and if I want housekeeping or housework then I should hire a maid.

 

But as the OP is claiming love, you're probably right, love always means much less sex.

Yes, but she's not doing housework because she's working so hard on the farm project. So she's just tired.

 

So tiredness presumably precludes her attendance to the most important duty of all. I hope not of course, nobody would wish that on anybody.

 

But even if he's taken care off in the bedroom, 35000 is way too high a price for a thirty something who does not cook, clean and threatens to move in with her parents.

 

Even if she's 25 and cooks, cleans and does all that is expected 18000 Baht would be absolute tops. And then only for superstars.

 

This, by all measures would not appear to be a superstar.

[473geo]

7 minutes ago, Logosone said:

Yes, but she's not doing housework because she's working so hard on the farm project. So she's just tired.

 

So tiredness presumably precludes her attendance to the most important duty of all. I hope not of course, nobody would wish that on anybody.

 

But even if he's taken care off in the bedroom, 35000 is way too high a price for a thirty something who does not cook, clean and threatens to move in with her parents.

 

Even if she's 25 and cooks, cleans and does all that is expected 18000 Baht would be absolute tops. And then only for superstars.

 

This, by all measures would not appear to be a superstar.

Love the way you guys are scratching around in the bargain basement ????

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Love the way you guys are scratching around in the bargain basement ????

I used to live with a Thai girl that charged guys 40k for a weekend (plus expenses).

5* hotel guests only.

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I used to live with a Thai girl that charged guys 40k for a weekend (plus expenses).

5* hotel guests only.

Please stop going on about females, sex and prostitution .

[473geo]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I used to live with a Thai girl that charged guys 40k for a weekend (plus expenses).

5* hotel guests only.

Good thinking, if she was out a lot less washing up ????

[Tagged]

6 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Please stop going on about females, sex and prostitution .

Britmanonly who can do that for day after day, week afer week, month after month and year after year, and the wife story thats been told how many times now? Time to move on Britman ???? you hanging back in the past sump dump

[BritManToo]

Just now, Tagged said:

Britmanonly who can do that for day after day, week afer week, month after month and year after year, and the wife story thats been told how many times now? Time to move on Britman ???? you hanging back in the past sump dump

Sex, drugs, alcohol, hookers, betrayal .........

I'm living in a James Bond movie, my bird even looks better than Pierce's.

 

Tell you what, I'll put you on ignore.

Edited April 26, 2020 by BritManToo

[Logosone]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I used to live with a Thai girl that charged guys 40k for a weekend (plus expenses).

5* hotel guests only.

Tell me more about this woman, what was she like? Personality wise I mean.

[bbi1]

A couple of months ago I told her to talk to her mom and find a solution that didn't involve me.

Of course this is "impossible" for her to do. Everytime I bring it up it ends with a big nasty fight instead.

 

Mom have way more money than me so why should I be the one paying for this?

Dump her, that's the only logical solution. Don't get a farm girl to be your gf in the future.

[Logosone]

Farm girls could have certain advantages. Hard work is a plus. The hard work just has to be channelled properly. 

 

I have nothing against farm girls at all, they have some advantages.

[seajae]

 hard position to be in but if you are able to pay the 35,000 baht a month tell her that when the business starts making money in 4 to 5 years you want all the money you put in returned as your  share of the profit and have a contract drawn up stating that. When I first came here many years ago my money was tied up for over 6 months, my wife would come home from her day job then start cooking after dinner till the early hours of the morning every night to make food/cakes to sell because I was unable to put hardly anything into the house bills, when my money came through I gave her my visa card and told her to pay off all her loans etc, if she boorows money from me now she gives it back when she is paid and vice versa. A couple is supposed to share things, if she expects you to pay for her business then she has to accept that seeing it is not your business even after your married she has to repay you when it starts making money but you need to explain this to her in a way she understands. If she loves you and wants to marry you she will accept it, if she doesnt accept it then you will know she is not in it for love, you really need to work out what you want as well, reading all your posts it sounds like you want a partner with no commitment, if this is the case then leaving is your best option especially seeing you dont want to put the money in, 30,000 a month is 360,000 a year thats almost 1.5 million over 4 years, way too much to get no return especially if you are paying all the household bills as well and doing the housework, for me its get her to agree to repaying or you leave, really the only 2 options but you need a contract stating she owes you all the money you loan her

 

 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Logosone said:

Tell me more about this woman, what was she like? Personality wise I mean.

An extremely violent psychopath.

Like every other LTR I've had in Thailand.

 

[BritManToo]

Just now, seajae said:

A couple is supposed to share things,

In most relationships it's usually the man doing all the sharing.

(yours is probably different)

[sanemax]

15 minutes ago, Logosone said:

Tell me more about this woman, what was she like? Personality wise I mean.

She isnt real. he makes up a new woman story every few days 

It was only a few days ago that he got tired of banging supermodels 

[JTXR]

You are the cash cow on this farm.  Not knowing you, and based solely on the information provided, but knowing a lot about farming, I'd suggest it's time to find a different girlfriend.

[eyup]

3 hours ago, possum1931 said:

My wife doesn't cost me, and I don't cost her, we both have our own money, and it has been successful for 14 years now.

We both do give each other things from time to time though. I bought the house, land, and truck etc, etc when she was my GF, we married five years later when I only had a few thousand GBPs left.

It was very obvious that she did not marry me for my money.

House land and truck all in her name I'm guessing?

[eyup]

Wow this seems like the classic "sick buffalo" story with an up to date twist (fertlizer/diesel etc)!. She won't want to get rid of him until the new house ( mentioned already I think?) has been built.  But Milk, you should get rid of HER or extricate from this situation immediately IMVHO !Especially, at your young age. Put it down to experience! (albeit a bad one! )

[NoshowJones]

9 minutes ago, eyup said:

House land and truck all in her name I'm guessing?

Yes, but I did three trips to Thailand to see her over a few months, also did due diligence on her and her family, I was a private investigator back in the UK. I know nothing is guaranteed, but it sure worked for me.