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The Baaad Christmas Jokes Thread 2020 - Old, New, Ancient, Prehistoric - We don't care just make them Bad.


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Posted

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne a manger…

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly…

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Posted

I just received the first Christmas package sent to me this year.  I won't open it till the 25th, but it feels a bit grainy.  I wonder what it is?  Anyway, thanks Uncle Ben.

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  • Haha 1
Posted

Bad news....Santa got arrested at a recent demo in London

--Good news he’s on remand until after the New Year.

Show your kid/grandkids this picture.

Pic thumbnail

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Posted

I spent Christmas in Louisiana one year and wondered why, in every nativity scene, the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.  Finally I asked someone in a shop.

"You must be a forrina" she said, "don't you ever read the bible?'  She pulled her copy out from behind the counter, ruffled through the pages and shoved it in my face.

"Now, look right there.  It clearly says 'The three wise men came from a far'!"

  • Like 1
Posted

What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.

 

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.

 

Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

  • Like 2

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