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The Baaad Christmas Jokes Thread 2020 - Old, New, Ancient, Prehistoric - We don't care just make them Bad.


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Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne a manger…

 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly…

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I spent Christmas in Louisiana one year and wondered why, in every nativity scene, the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.  Finally I asked someone in a shop.

"You must be a forrina" she said, "don't you ever read the bible?'  She pulled her copy out from behind the counter, ruffled through the pages and shoved it in my face.

"Now, look right there.  It clearly says 'The three wise men came from a far'!"

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What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.

 

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.

 

Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

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