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Weird demand form my boyfriend


kellyoinkoink

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4 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Hello folks,

It is weird a bit when I am an only girl in this group who asks your advices about sensitive issue of relationship. And I know most of you are men. I think it’s better because I can understand what is happening in man’s brain beside his neurons.

 

Well, story is that my weird boyfriend keeps mentioning about a weird of relationship which I cannot accept it -3somes.

 

I think it violates moral standard. Moreover, as a official girlfriend, who wants bf “abcdxyz” with another girl in front of her, then that girl touch to her body.....that is so ewww. that girl is stranger, who knows if she gets HIV or not. 2 girls use 1 man. And that is my man. Whenever I imagine that situation, I just want to kill that girl and choke my bf’s neck. No mood for “abcdxyz”. For me, it’s like he cheats me under my permission.

 

As a man, please tell me your thoughts.

 

Thanks for listening my story.

Hope you have a nice day.

 

 

Nothing weird or wrong about it and he should not feel bad about asking if he's doing so respectfully.

 

However, what you accept and participate in is entirely your decision.

 

If you're not interested, don't like it and dont want it.....just say "No."

 

If he isnt listening then you have bigger problems that are only gonna get worse.

 

People make <deleted> complicated.  If you feel that strongly about it...dont compromise and walk away.

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Well, story is that my weird boyfriend keeps mentioning about a weird of relationship which I cannot accept it -3somes.

 

I think it violates moral standard. Moreover, as a official girlfriend, who wants bf “abcdxyz” with another girl in front of her, then that girl touch to her body.....that is so ewww. that girl is stranger, who knows if she gets HIV or not. 2 girls use 1 man. And that is my man. Whenever I imagine that situation, I just want to kill that girl and choke my bf’s neck. No mood for “abcdxyz”. For me, it’s like he cheats me under my permission.

 

As a man, please tell me your thoughts.

First, as others wrote already, don't do what you don't want to do.

 

Now maybe let's break this situation down into its parts.

 

Guys like sex, and if they are not old they like a lot of sex.

Sex is not the same as love. Guys can have sex without loving anybody. It's not even necessary that he likes his partner. It's just that he wants to f$#@ her.

Obviously many guys also love their wife or gf and they have sex with her. But that is different. That is love with sex. Something very different from "only" sex.

 

So when your bf talks about 3somes what does he really want?

Does he want sex with two or maybe even more girls at the same time? And does it really matter who these girls are?

It is definitely a fantasy for many guys. And many want to try it. I tried it and I didn't find it exiting enough so that I want to repeat it again and again.

Maybe ask him if he did that before with other girls. And maybe ask him if it's important for him that you are part of this 3some or if he would be exited to do this with two other girls without you.

Don't expect a truthful answer. But maybe he tells you it's a fantasy since forever or maybe he did it before and he liked it a lot or whatever.

 

But maybe it's not only sex and maybe it involves you. Maybe he likes to watch when you play with another girl.

Maybe he wants that you learn from another girl what she does with him. Like: Watch, she can do that, I want the same from you.

 

And maybe ask yourself what is really your concern.

- Are you scared of getting HIV? Would you accept it or even like it if there wouldn't be a risk? It's maybe a theoretical question but it should help you to understand why you don't want it.

- Are you concerned the other girl will do something better than you? And maybe your bf likes that?

- Do you think you might lose him because he will fall in love with that other girl and leave you?

 

Maybe another question you can ask him is if he wants to select that other girl or if you can select her.

That should give you an idea if maybe he has already a specific girl in mind or if it's just about any 3rd girl.

 

If you can openly talk about this with your bf that would be great. But I think many couples don't openly talk about those things because the wrong answer might create a lot of trouble.

 

Be yourself! If you want to think about the details then do it. If you don't want it at all, for whatever reasons, then tell him.

But keep one thing in mind. In a movie long time ago one girl said to the other: Someone will take it in her mouth. It's up to you if you do it or if he will go to another girl.

I think there is a lot of truth to this concept.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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25 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

First, as others wrote already, don't do what you don't want to do.

 

Now maybe let's break this situation down into its parts.

 

Guys like sex, and if they are not old they like a lot of sex.

Sex is not the same as love. Guys can have sex without loving anybody. It's not even necessary that he likes his partner. It's just that he wants to f$#@ her.

Obviously many guys also love their wife or gf and they have sex with her. But that is different. That is love with sex. Something very different from "only" sex.

 

So when your bf talks about 3somes what does he really want?

Does he want sex with two or maybe even more girls at the same time? And does it really matter who these girls are?

It is definitely a fantasy for many guys. And many want to try it. I tried it and I didn't find it exiting enough so that I want to repeat it again and again.

Maybe ask him if he did that before with other girls. And maybe ask him if it's important for him that you are part of this 3some or if he would be exited to do this with two other girls without you.

Don't expect a truthful answer. But maybe he tells you it's a fantasy since forever or maybe he did it before and he liked it a lot or whatever.

 

But maybe it's not only sex and maybe it involves you. Maybe he likes to watch when you play with another girl.

Maybe he wants that you learn from another girl what she does with him. Like: Watch, she can do that, I want the same from you.

 

And maybe ask yourself what is really your concern.

- Are you scared of getting HIV? Would you accept it or even like it if there wouldn't be a risk? It's maybe a theoretical question but it should help you to understand why you don't want it.

- Are you concerned the other girl will do something better than you? And maybe your bf likes that?

- Do you think you might lose him because he will fall in love with that other girl and leave you?

 

Maybe another question you can ask him is if he wants to select that other girl or if you can select her.

That should give you an idea if maybe he has already a specific girl in mind or if it's just about any 3rd girl.

 

If you can openly talk about this with your bf that would be great. But I think many couples don't openly talk about those things because the wrong answer might create a lot of trouble.

 

Be yourself! If you want to think about the details then do it. If you don't want it at all, for whatever reasons, then tell him.

But keep one thing in mind. In a movie long time ago one girl said to the other: Someone will take it in her mouth. It's up to you if you do it or if he will go to another girl.

I think there is a lot of truth to this concept.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to joke about that, once the BJ's stop it's over

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3 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

I’m serious with my post. Not troll or post it for fun. Wanna to know what men think. I even tried to search about this on google to understand what men think. Sometimes I thought oh maybe I’m Asian, Western men can think differently. 

It's a fantasy that most men think about and some do. This man has no respect for you as a person whatsoever. A man only needs one woman, and if you are being a good lover, his needs obviously mean more than yours do. If a man has an open relationship with a woman and she would be okay with that, then you can have fun. Most women wouldn't want this, and the chance for an STD increases with every promiscuous person you are with. Even suggesting this shows disrespect and I would consider finding someone that would love and honor only you. There are good men out there, although finding one isn't easy.

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32 minutes ago, ChipButty said:

I used to joke about that, once the BJ's stop it's over

I've never quite understood the thing about BJ's, although I've had a few. Perhaps I subconsciously worry about what could happen with the teeth.

My GF is old-fashioned, she doesn't want to do them, and I would not think of forcing her to do something she is not on board with. She has more than enough other ways of giving me pleasure.

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4 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I would be asking the BF how he proposes to service both of you without risking transmitting an STD. Will he be willing to clean himself between bouts with both of you? What other fantasies does he have?

It's a mild fantasy to men, me included. But in reality, one woman hot to trot is all any man can handle.

It's kinky, but harmless in his mindset. It's harmful to you if you go along with it feeling uncomfortable.

 

 

The boyfriend could always practise safe sex and wear something,his socks.

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6 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Guys, After telling him my thoughts and asked him what if I and he and another man do it, he said “ let’s do it”.....I don’t know what to say! 
This man’s fantasy happens with you guys? 

Get rid of him, find someone decent and respectful. Regardless of what others may say on this topic,  in a stable relationship, if that is what you thought that you had, it's not normal and he clearly doesn't respect love.  Get rid of him . 

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1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

I've never quite understood the thing about BJ's, although I've had a few. Perhaps I subconsciously worry about what could happen with the teeth.

My GF is old-fashioned, she doesn't want to do them, and I would not think of forcing her to do something she is not on board with. She has more than enough other ways of giving me pleasure.

Just get her to take them out, then no risk of teeth marks.

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1 minute ago, DaLa said:

Just get her to take them out, then no risk of teeth marks.

I don't know if you have observed this, but false teeth are a rarity among Thai women, and I don't fancy gummies. Nice try, though.

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AHA  i did a 3 some in LOS on my bday at that...

 

Ive come to conclude uneven #s suck..or dont "suck"

 

I would suggest even #s as it seemed to me in my exps that someone was left out as the 2 gals I had were not into participating fully

 

I told the one bored one to split and gave her some baht, thinking she would split the other half with the girl that stayed..I was wrong

 

Sounds much better than it actually was , at least in my exp......just like 3 roomies.....2 always "couple" up......3rd wheel rings true

 

I am happy to keep trying tho, hopefully my odds will change 🙂

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6 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

 

I am sure many of us have sexual fantasies, but that's mostly where we keep them.

 

You say 'mostly' ....tell us more.

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6 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

I’m serious with my post. Not troll or post it for fun. Wanna to know what men think. I even tried to search about this on google to understand what men think. Sometimes I thought oh maybe I’m Asian, Western men can think differently. 

I'm taking your word for it that this is not a troll post, so my answer in that case, is that he doesn't deserve you, so find someone else who just wants a straight relationship with you.

 

As someone else has mentioned, some guys do fantasise about these sort of things, but usually the part where they come back down-to-earth, is when the woman asks if it's okay if she goes out and does the business with other guys (even though she doesn't want to) and the thought of that is usually abhorrent to the guy.

 

I have known a few folks like this, and their relationships have always fallen apart, over time.

 

Find someone who appreciates you for who and what you are.

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26 minutes ago, Pilotman said:
7 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Guys, After telling him my thoughts and asked him what if I and he and another man do it, he said “ let’s do it”.....I don’t know what to say! 
This man’s fantasy happens with you guys? 

Get rid of him, find someone decent and respectful. Regardless of what others may say on this topic,  in a stable relationship, if that is what you thought that you had, it's not normal and he clearly doesn't respect love.  Get rid of him . 

Agree.  Kelly, it's not normal.  The guy doesn't respect you and is not serious about you.  Sure some married guys fantasize about a 3-some, or having an affair with a much younger female, or doing his best friend's wife, etc.  But it's all a fantasy.  If he's telling you he wants to do another woman, with or without you, he's obviously a player...or just a pervert.  There are plenty of decent guys out there....you can do better.

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8 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Hello folks,

It is weird a bit when I am an only girl in this group who asks your advices about sensitive issue of relationship. And I know most of you are men. I think it’s better because I can understand what is happening in man’s brain beside his neurons.

 

Well, story is that my weird boyfriend keeps mentioning about a weird of relationship which I cannot accept it -3somes.

 

I think it violates moral standard. Moreover, as a official girlfriend, who wants bf “abcdxyz” with another girl in front of her, then that girl touch to her body.....that is so ewww. that girl is stranger, who knows if she gets HIV or not. 2 girls use 1 man. And that is my man. Whenever I imagine that situation, I just want to kill that girl and choke my bf’s neck. No mood for “abcdxyz”. For me, it’s like he cheats me under my permission.

 

As a man, please tell me your thoughts.

 

Thanks for listening my story.

Hope you have a nice day.

 

eh, yeah, quantum computing creates an epinameous proctoligistally experioum while it expels itself!

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22 hours ago, kingdong said:

Tell your " boyfriend " you,d like to have a threesome with him and another male see how he reacts to that.

 

That will only make him think of DP and spit roasts.

 

She needs to tell him that she would like to see him indulge in sex with another man while she watches. That might slow him down a bit

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A few things to consider. First of all, many men fantasize about a threesome with another woman. But, that does not mean it happens! Few women are comfortable with this. You could try using psychological reasoning with him. Ok baby, let's do it. But for each threesome we have with a woman, I want to do another guy. Would you be ok touching him while we are busy? You cool with that?

 

That might allow his reason and rationale to intervene. If all else fails, and he keeps up with this, better to just move on and find a man who is more considerate.

 

 

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8 hours ago, kellyoinkoink said:

Well, story is that my weird boyfriend keeps mentioning about a weird of relationship which I cannot accept it -3somes.

i guess you won't be coming to my house. 

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