The meaning of friends

[georgegeorgia]

4 hours ago, RocketDog said:

I think I was born cynical. I realized early in life that I must be prepared to take care of myself and not to expect much from others. My life experiences over the intervening 55 years has done nothing to change my opinion. 

 

Thankfully I am now in a position that allows me to help others, if I so choose, without requiring any help from them. I think it likely I will die alone. 

 

I'm not sad or bitter about it. I think most people try to do their best; they're just not very good at it. 

 

Oscar Wilde:

"Life is a stage but the players are badly cast" 

You sound very independent and able to look after yourself...I guess u had to in life ...you don't seem to rely on others .????????

[georgegeorgia]

6 hours ago, zyphodb said:

Friends and acquaintances it's the old, old story, most of us have many acquaintances through life, far fewer friends, being able to tell the difference between the two is an important life skill that, unfortunately many never learn... 

True ..but how ??

[Leaver]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I never let anyone know where I live.

It's not their business.

 

What do you put on your TM30?  ????

[scoupeo]

people never feel idiot to need friends ? most men are too stupid to understand that real friends are more important than their ugly wife or kids, so I have no interest to be friend with any of there idiots. And it's hard to find smart people who didn't have kids or do not obey to a wife.

[StreetCowboy]

if one of my friends came and said "I need a hundred pounds to deal with gangsters or court fines of overdue utilities", there's several guys I would put my hand in my pocket for.

 

If they said "I need thousands to stop my home being repossessed or ending up in jail or medical expenses", there's a few I wouldn't ask questions of - don't ask me to count them...

 

If they said " I need a tens of thousands to stay alive"  there's very few I would not look at sceptically, and I would pay the money to the hospital.

 

Whether they promised to pay it back is irrelevant.   If they were a friend that I trusted, I would assume that they would if they could.  If they could not, I would accept my share in their pain.  And if they were chancers, their promise would mean nothing.

[Aussiepeter]

10 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Fantastic quote !!

Never heard it before ...now it's going to be my motto!!

what you write is very very true.

Before I plan to live in Thailand I will go thru stuff like Wills and insurance etc and Plan like u said in if case scenarios so I don't have to rely on others 

It's actually a military thing & it's the seven P's - which is : Prior Preparation Planning Prevents P*ss Poor Performance ! I'm ex-army & it was taught to me from day one. Enjoy.

[Aussiepeter]

I read somewhere that by the age of 65, most of us can count on one hand how many true friends that they really have and, the average number was three. I met my best friend Tom in 1966 when he went off to a stupid war. He was then my only (older) brothers' best mate. I was only 14 and an army cadet. I joined the real army in 1973 & the same stupid war. My only brother is a complete 'a-hole' & broke up with his then best-friend in the 80's. I have not spoken to my own brother in years as he can't be trusted, but that guy I met way back in 1966 is still my best friend - he is my real brother. Sometimes we don't talk for months, as we live a long way apart. If I called him from Africa "out of nowhere" & needed $ to get home, he'd yell at me, then send it. "Cos he knows I'd do the same for him". He also knows that will never happen, as we are both far too clever. I am seventy - my real friends, including Tom, number less than five. In LOS, they are most definitely NOT your friends - just drinking buddies. Accept that - & you will survive here just fine. I lived in LOS for thirty years - as for $ ? Everyone I knew in LOS was a friend, until money was involved. Most, unlike me, didn't have any. The only friends I made in my time in LOS were Thais, or the two gay Belgian blokes who ran a restaurant in Chiang Mai, called "Mozart', until one died in 2019. I'm not gay. Just sayin'

[bojo]

The thing about friends for me, especially in Thailand is that friendship takes effort and sacrifice. After forging many friendships at first in Thailand, I began to notice that after time , many of these friends (both Thai and foreign) had moved away from the area and in some cases to other countries. On reflection, i was probably naive, but it became apparent that Thailand was a transient place (especially with it's migrant workers) and I became disillusioned and my approach towards new friendships changed. Fortunately, I still have a few of those initial friends (I met so many like minded pioneering folk) after 2 decades, and not withstanding others that are unfortunately not on this planet anymore......................................................................

Interestingly, the OP mentions a chap in need in hospital..the very same thing happened to me with an expat customer who had a stroke. Luckily he was repatriated back to Europe, but apparently i was the only one that could arrange that for him..That surprised me, maybe being naive again, but it just shows what a lonely place Thailand can be as a foreigner when one might think completely to the contrary.....

[bangon04]

You should expect a real friend to give you their time and advice and help.

You should never ask your real friend for money.

[rumak]

8 hours ago, RocketDog said:

I think I was born cynical. I realized early in life that I must be prepared to take care of myself and not to expect much from others. My life experiences over the intervening 55 years has done nothing to change my opinion. 

 

Thankfully I am now in a position that allows me to help others, if I so choose, without requiring any help from them. I think it likely I will die alone. 

 

I'm not sad or bitter about it. I think most people try to do their best; they're just not very good at it. 

 

Oscar Wilde:

"Life is a stage but the players are badly cast" 

 

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist"  

 

quote from George Carlin.     from time to time i send him a note,  saying one day i will come

visit him

 

[georgegeorgia]

11 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist"  

 

quote from George Carlin.     from time to time i send him a note,  saying one day i will come

visit him

 

And he did ????????

[bobandyson]

7 hours ago, Leaver said:

Thailand has a habit of turning "friends" into con men.

After the first couple of years in Thailand I learned to be more wary of 'fellow farangs' than Thais.

 

You'll find out any true friends when your hands are dirty and you want a p!ss.

????

[whaleboneman]

7 hours ago, ChrisKC said:

At the risk of sounding altruistic to the letter, I don't need to be someone's friend to help them with something that is possible and not ridiculously onerous or even illegal.

 

When it comes to "time" and attention, I will help with whatever ability I may have to offer friend, acquaintance, or stranger!

 

I like your attitude. But it is somewhat selfish as there's no better feeling than being able to help others. Keep it up.

[Andycoops]

None.

My real friends are all in England.

[NoshowJones]

15 hours ago, Aomelia said:

I will never have farang friends , I had a Dutch ex friend bring 8 police  to my condo for a lil ganja few cigs , he always begged me for it , so I would give him a joint every once in a while not for Sale , but he ripped me off on a motorbike, and thought I would get deported even brought JW whiskey to police to finalize my demise , I was not black listed but spent a few nights in monkey house , this specimen is about 40 years old with Italian first name , Beware , this was supposedly my best friend for five years 

I could be wrong here, but I don't think you need to worry about defamation laws in your situation, as long as it is farang V farang. But if you were detrimental to another farang who is in business and conned a lot of money from you, I'm not sure if the Thai defamation law would work then, though I suspect it would.

[brianthainess]

I can only rely on my wife to help me, others can not, a mate just told me ''I have recently rescued a friend of mine, who's wife has hocked, All he had paid for; House all furniture , car, M/C, all Money from his bank, she running from the mafia, left him on his own with a terminal illness of motor neuron disease, lost all use of arms, unable to shower, cook, dress himself '' he did a 14hr return trip, got him a room near him and a day carer. Now that is a friend.

[BritManToo]

Just now, brianthainess said:

I can only rely on my wife to help me, others can not, a mate just told me ''I have recently rescued a friend of mine, who's wife has hocked, All he had paid for; House all furniture , car, M/C, all Money from his bank, she running from the mafia, left him on his own with a terminal illness of motor neuron disease, lost all use of arms, unable to shower, cook, dress himself '' he did a 14hr return trip, got him a room near him and a day carer. Now that is a friend.

Can't say I have much sympathy for the old fools who spent ALL their money setting up a Thai lady.

If she wants to own a house, let her get a bank loan (and you make the repayments if you live in it).

If she wants a car, let her get a loan (and you make the repayments if you get the use of it).

Money in your Thai bank, never more than you need to live here for the next month.

Sure, if you're filthy rich why not give her a house, car, land ...... but most of us don't have enough to do that more than once (or twice).

 

This isn't rocket science!

[rumak]

Just now, BritManToo said:

Can't say I have much sympathy for the old fools who spent ALL their money setting up a Thai lady.

If she wants to own a house, let her get a bank loan (and you make the repayments if you live in it).

If she wants a car, let her get a loan (and you make the repayments if you get the use of it).

Money in your Thai bank, never more than you need to live here for the next month.

Sure, if you're filthy rich why not give her a house, car, land ...... but most of us don't have enough to do that more than once (or twice).

 

This isn't rocket science!

Many of the thai ladies that are with farangs do not qualify for a loan !

 

Maybe a poll is in order :   How many guys here have a wife/gf  working and making enough money to qualify for a home loan.   I guess if the guy has an income that the bank will accept

as part of the loan that MIGHT  work.    

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Can't say I have much sympathy for the old fools who spent ALL their money setting up a Thai lady.

If she wants to own a house, let her get a bank loan (and you make the repayments if you live in it).

If she wants a car, let her get a loan (and you make the repayments if you get the use of it).

Money in your Thai bank, never more than you need to live here for the next month.

Sure, if you're filthy rich why not give her a house, car, land ...... but most of us don't have enough to do that more than once (or twice).

 

This isn't rocket science!

No sympathy well glad your no friend of mine. Give the bloke a break He is not even able to use an ATM and she drained he's monthly allowance, wasn't paying bills, drained his money for next extension he new nothing until the mafia came looking. She was so crafty not taking out more than B5,000 at a time so no SMS from bank. Most of us can use an ATM and wouldn't dream of giving out our pin number to anyone.

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Give the bloke a break He is not even able to use an ATM

Almost everything can be done by phone banking app, no need to use an ATM or give her large amounts of money.

My phone banking app also alerts me to every use of my bank card and the amount of the withdrawal (even 10bht). 

Even Lazada and Food Panda (et al) allow payment by phone to the delivery guy at the gate.

 

There is no excuse for this level of stupidity.

 

PS

I said 'not much sympathy', which is essentially different to 'no sympathy'.

Edited February 21, 2021 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, rumak said:

Many of the thai ladies that are with farangs do not qualify for a loan !

 

Maybe a poll is in order :   How many guys here have a wife/gf  working and making enough money to qualify for a home loan.   I guess if the guy has an income that the bank will accept

as part of the loan that MIGHT  work.    

Mine forged the documents for her to get a home loan, I was happy renting.

I told her, "I'll make the payments, if you can get the loan' ........ thinking she'd never manage it.

Guess she's smarter than me.

Edited February 21, 2021 by BritManToo

[brianthainess]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Almost everything can be done by phone banking app, no need to use an ATM or give her large amounts of money.

My phone banking app also alerts me to every use of my bank card and the amount of the withdrawal (even 10bht). 

Even Lazada and Food Panda (et al) allow payment by phone to the delivery guy at the gate.

 

There is no excuse for this level of stupidity.

 

PS

I said 'not much sympathy', which is essentially different to 'no sympathy'.

He CAN NOT use his HANDS, maybe he was stupid trusting his wife, but this is about friendship, and his friend took care of him, rather than he be found dead in a week.

[BritManToo]

Just now, brianthainess said:

He CAN NOT use his HANDS,

I'd prefer to be dead, than live like that.

[brianthainess]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I'd prefer to be dead, than live like that.

I'll let him know, he is 1 in 50,000 that suffers from this and he is determined to be the longest to live with this, he was given 3 years to live, 3 years ago. Stephen Hawking was a prime example of not giving up.

[RocketDog]

9 hours ago, rumak said:

 

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist"  

 

quote from George Carlin.     from time to time i send him a note,  saying one day i will come

visit him

 

you are 100% correct, or Carlin was at any rate. I have always been an idealist, and have always been disappointed in myself and others regarding how humanity treats itself and the world. Carlin had it right, there is a link.

[rumak]

   

15 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Mine forged the documents for her to get a home loan, I was happy renting.

I told her, "I'll make the payments, if you can get the loan' ........ thinking she'd never manage it.

Guess she's smarter than me.

HA HA !  I guess ,  from what I have observed over my long time here,  that many of these little ladies

are smarter than the highly educated foreigners that so easily hand over much of their life's earnings

to these sweethearts.    

Time before the beautiful thai smile they married begins to turn downward varies     lol

 

ah yes.  cynicism:   disappointed idealists    

Note:  my present one is different.    so far ................

Edited February 21, 2021 by rumak

[brianthainess]

13 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Mine forged the documents for her to get a home loan, I was happy renting.

I told her, "I'll make the payments, if you can get the loan' ........ thinking she'd never manage it.

Guess she's smarter than me.

Sounds like it. And its in HER/banks name, if she dies before you, her family will be the benefactors, then you become the old fool.

[rumak]

Just now, RocketDog said:

you are 100% correct, or Carlin was at any rate. I have always been an idealist, and have always been disappointed in myself and others regarding how humanity treats itself and the world. Carlin had it right, there is a link.

 

and if he ever could see life  at this time in the world ......   he would turn over in his grave many times over.     ( that's all i can say without getting chastised )

 

[DUNROAMIN]

23 hours ago, PatOngo said:

Perfect Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance!

P.P.P.P.P.P.P Military acronym, learnt this one over 25 years ago.

Prior preparation and planning prevents pi@ss

 

 poor performance.

Edited February 21, 2021 by DUNROAMIN

[rumak]

Just now, DUNROAMIN said:

P.P.P.P.P.P.P Military acronym, learnt this one over 25 years ago.

Prior preparation and planning prevents <deleted> poor performance.

 

i knew a guy with a stutter ....... it took him about 5 minutes to ppppppppronounce all that 

 

being a military guy,  he was pppppppppromoted soon after

Edited February 21, 2021 by rumak