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The wife and I sleep in separate rooms. Anyone else in this situation?


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Posted

Take her out, buy her something nice, start whispering sweet talk into her ears: tell her that your  heart needs her love, stroke her face whilst telling her that  she  is the most beautiful  woman  in Thailand,, then - as you kiss her - tell her that her  lovely eyes shine like diamonds -  as they  bathe in  the light of her sexy bright smile...

 

"Women are audial - men  are visual." Women love  "sweet talk" - AKA "concentrated attention", and it can warm the hearts of many a "shut down" gal...

 

Best of  luck.

 

 

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Posted
17 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Does any country other than America have that quaint custom of alimony where the man has to keep paying the ex wife? It's bad enough in other western countries, but normally once the divorce is final the sucker ex husband doesn't have to keep paying.

Same in Canada. Goes to prove the old joke is not really a joke.   Alimony- the <deleted> your getting that you should have got before. 

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Posted

The missus and I could end up in separate rooms sometime in the future. Not because we don't like each other, but because of her constant wriggling. If I have to scratch an itch or turn over, I try to do it slowly and gently so as not to wake her, she doesn't give a toss and doesn't move as much as lunge. Drives me mad, but she claims she doesn't realise she's doing it because she's asleep. Bless her.

Posted
20 hours ago, charliechoc said:

Once again I will say 'thankgod Im not american'

And may I as an American also thank god you are not American. ???????? I thank God I am American ???????? 

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Posted
39 minutes ago, keithkarmann said:

Yes it must be tempting if you wake up horny and your wife's 16yr old sister/daughter is laid inbetween you and your wife, especially if she is due for some pocket money.

She might wake you up wanting her pocket money

Posted
21 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Absolutely normal,

My wedding night consisted of me, my new wife, her mother, and her 10 year old daughter all sleeping on a dirty mattress in a corrugated iron hut (the family home).

As she was chatting to her mom, she turned to me and said, "It's our wedding night, are you gonna bang me or not?" I thought about it for a second or two, then replied, "I'm a little tired after the day, and the long bus journey, can we wait until tomorrow morning?"

 

As for your particular case, we would need to see a photo of your wife before giving any relevant advice.

Wow you must have been the first man in the history of mankind to use the I'm tired excuse on your wedding night.  Funny and yet depressing.  

 

Btw, how does seeing a photo of his wife potentially alter your advice?

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Posted

It's a mistake to start sleeping in separate rooms. I know from experience. You've got to get that loving feeling back.

 

Tell your wife that, from now on, you will be sleeping back in your bedroom. Your boy can sleep on the floor or in his bedroom. Lay the law down. 

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Posted
8 minutes ago, blacksuitdandruff said:

Btw, how does seeing a photo of his wife potentially alter your advice?

Fat and fugly ...... better to sleep alone.

Slim and cute ....... I'd want back in.

Posted
19 hours ago, nikmar said:

Mother in law - much as I love her - sleeps in our room when she s here, as does our niece. It seems they are both scared of ghosts!! a few mattresses on the floor and we can all keep our respective distance. The only thing that bothers me is her constant wittering about that nights lakorn.

 

Our boy moved into his own room when he discovered the joys of internet porn.

Ha ha yes if my mother-in-law stays she will sleep in my son's room because she is scared of ghosts too! Craziness... absolute craziness.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, MrJ2U said:

My brothers Thai wife had because of his snoring.

They eventually divorced.  I think mostly because my brother was an alcoholic.

More likely because she thought she had squeezed out all the money he would give.

Never met a Thai women who cared how her husband behaved if the money was good!

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Posted
3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Why bother? if you need to make that much effort better to try it with a new and younger woman.

Effortless rudeness! LOL!

Posted

Many will accuse me of being misogynistic, domineering, unfair, or any of a large number of labels this ridiculously PC, and Uber feministic world has come up with. 

 

But, my sense of marriage and relationships here, is that if you do not set the agenda, lead like a man, make your desires, needs and preferences known, the woman will take over. She has to. All ships need a captain. I find many Thai women prefer for the man to be the captain of the ship. But, intuitively and instinctively, if there is no captain, she needs to take over. So, perhaps you need to ask, who is setting the agenda here? 

 

Having said all that, if you have not done so yet, it is likely too late. This kind of pattern needs to be established early on, in the relationship. 

 

I adore my wife, and sleeping with her every night is one of the great joys of my life. Fortunately, even after more than a decade together, we are still very affectionate and playful with each other. 

 

And many many experts would say allowing a boy to sleep with his mother up until the age of 6 is dangerous for his health, well being, and self esteem. Not to mention yours. 

 

And it is likely horrible for your relationship. Without realizing it, your wife seems to be making you a bit of martyr. What kind of life is that? 

 

Also, it is my observation that alot of parents seem to have lost the art of parenting. The child sort of becomes the boss. This is epidemic in Thai households with the sons, who are treated as if they are very special, when they are just ordinary boys, who have proven nothing to the world yet, as to their worthiness for adulation. 

 

As a result, children today are less self-reliant. Many preteen children don’t yet know how to be alone at bedtime and they haven’t been forced to learn. Parents band-aid the issue by allowing co-sleeping. 

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/savvy-parenting/201403/the-impact-chronic-co-sleeping-older-child

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Posted
23 hours ago, charliechoc said:

'those who sleep apart grow apart'. I tend to agree with this.

Yes, I agree with this and also think the child should sleep alone, but...  Yes, things are different in some families in Thailand. (Look at the large number of children sent to Grandparents to raise while Mother works someplace else).

Posted
7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

And many many experts would say allowing a boy to sleep with his mother up until the age of 6 is dangerous for his health, well being, and self esteem. Not to mention yours. 

Would disagree,

Problem isn't child in marital bed, problem is husband not in marital bed.

My son sleeping in the marital bed (age 10 now) has never been a problem, because I never moved out, and I just banged her when I felt like it, kid in bed or not.

He also regularly sleeps in his sisters bed (age 23) and his grandmothers bed (age 68).

Posted
2 hours ago, Wake Up said:

And may I as an American also thank god you are not American. ???????? I thank God I am American ???????? 

Poor guy, still believing in Santa ????

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Posted
37 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Would disagree,

Problem isn't child in marital bed, problem is husband not in marital bed.

My son sleeping in the marital bed (age 10 now) has never been a problem, because I never moved out, and I just banged her when I felt like it, kid in bed or not.

He also regularly sleeps in his sisters bed (age 23) and his grandmothers bed (age 68).

Why not his own bed? When will he learn to sleep alone? Is this not a concern, on any level?

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Posted
7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Why not his own bed? When will he learn to sleep alone? Is this not a concern, on any level?

Not really a concern for me.

He can go from sleeping with his parents/relatives straight to sleeping with his gf.

If that's what he wants, he need never sleep alone.

Posted
1 hour ago, greenmonkey said:

Ha ha yes if my mother-in-law stays she will sleep in my son's room because she is scared of ghosts too! Craziness... absolute craziness.

Actually the ghost thing is a thing.  My brother-in-law's GF who is our nanny and maid-ish is really uncomfortable sleeping alone in a new place (like a hotel room when on vacation) due to ghosts.  Luckily, the 3yr old is perfectly happy to sleep with her while the wife and I have a real vacation!

 

3yr old sleeps with us, big bed.  Actually pretty nice in the dark to have the kid calmed down and spelling and doing numbers, laughing and such until he knocks out on the other side of the wife.  Have a small bed adjacent to our bed that we have told him he will eventually be sleeping in when he is ready.  Will go to the store and have him pick out sheets and pillowcase so that he knows it's his bed.  From there to the spare room that will be his room that he will help decorate.  Worked for the first 2 kids like a charm, out of our room by 5.  Once he is asleep, he is pretty solid out so a pillow on each side and off the spare room for some quick deed doing then back to bed for a solid sleep ourselves.

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