12 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

Aaah, the 'apologists' view.

Not my country, not my problem.

 

For God's sake, grow a pair.

 

 

 

Not an apologists view from my perspective and having lived here and worked here for awhile, its called reality and as much as it sucks we are unfortunately in no position to change the culture that has been ingrained in Thai boys and then you can see the difference in how Thai girls are treated by their families....different dispirit treatment.

15 minutes ago, StayinThailand2much said:

Stop coaching him for free. Charge him 500 baht each session for the privilege.

 

... exactly this, plus kick the phat phk in the balls on next occasion, obviously needs some proven methods to 'form' this personality ...

 

4 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said:

Not an apologists view from my perspective and having lived here and worked here for awhile, its called reality and as much as it sucks we are unfortunately in no position to change the culture that has been ingrained in Thai boys and then you can see the difference in how Thai girls are treated by their families....different dispirit treatment.

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 

2 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 

He is just a brat, not Pol Pot ( about whom the west did sod all ).

Just now, Bert got kinky said:

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

 

And when you unfortunately poke your nose into the middle of how a Thai kid is raised it only leads to heartache and misery for the non-Thai as it creates a major situation out of something that the parents should be taking care of.  You should know that after having lived here for awhile.  Thai's do not appreciate confrontation.  When you confront them if they apologize and wai back at you it's not about them being sorry but it begins a process of how they will get the upper hand on you eventually.  I fired a housekeeper for being non-compliant and the next thing I know I had her husband and family ready to have me taken out.....luckily my now Thai ex-wife intervened along with her father who was the poo-yai and a settlement had to be reached for her to save face. I was told the next time to leave it up to them to handle and not get involved.

9 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Vs

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

20 minutes ago, ThailandRyan said:

Not an apologists view from my perspective and having lived here and worked here for awhile, its called reality and as much as it sucks we are unfortunately in no position to change the culture that has been ingrained in Thai boys and then you can see the difference in how Thai girls are treated by their families....different dispirit treatment.

After living here a year or two,

I learned to avoid all Thais, except the ones I pay to serve me.

And even the ones I pay, I don't chat with.

 

PS

What happens if the 14yo fat kid decides to start telling people you touched him?

Well, farangs might have the tendency to call out the cheat.

Thais have the tendency to just lie about a cheat situation ever happened...

Oh yes, culture...

14 years old and already 120kg??  Is he a bully? Sounds like he's "throwing his weight around".  If he's your GF'a kid, either get him under control now or it will only get worse as he gets older.

I learned very quickly here to keep my own counsel, and not attempt to teach anyone anything, unless specifically asked to do so.

I'd recommend the OP take up herding cats. Safer and easier.

So lucky there's no young men in my family. My wife even says it too. Only got her uncles all 50+ who drop by on the holidays, and they're great. They bring some food and booze, offer to help prepare, make an effort at convo with my limited Thai.

 

Down the soi the teenage boys all lie about playing games while there should be studying and final exams. I see girls busy writing in their notebooks. The boys never do. Then comes a motorbike delivery, mom has ordered them lunch. There is no helping them.

Apologise profusely, walk away...........then find out where he lives.

He is a Mature 14 year "OLE"-WALK! ????

Either the kid or the father will have access to a gun.

Walk away.

Walk away. You owe this ungrateful lump of cellulite nothing, and he appears to lack the perspective on himself and the world. Many Thais have very low self esteem, cannot handle criticism of any sort, and do not possess the ability to self reflect, look within for the source of the problem, or man up, when a problem does arise. Best for you to move on, now that the kid has shown his true colors. As far as your GF is concerned, she sounds like she is lost in space. 

6 hours ago, falangUK said:

Of course the TGF is 100% I am at fault because I am not Thai

Yes, that takes time to get used to, but you will have to make the effort.

I wouldn't waste my time on him, or the TGF.  Walk.

as a coach you are there to teach and encourage the players, he needs to be made to realize the he is in the wrong, a plyer should never abuse the coach because he points out a fault. As a registered volleyball coach that worked with different age groups as well as representitve & state teams there is no way I would have a player doing that on any team I coached as it brings disharmony into the team, the longer it goes on for the worse it will get. You need to pull him aside and tell him to his face he needs to appologise to you and the team, if he refuses tell him not to come to training or games anymore until such time he can do so, face is the biggest problem here though but it needs to be done, just watch your back as we all know what losing face can cause thais to do

You are at fault because you are at fault, not because you are Not Thai.

10 hours ago, falangUK said:

Thanks for a well balanced and a well thought out response ????

This is a good general structure for me to apply for many other uncomfortable situations in life.

BTW is the wife Thai? Didn't even know Thais had  "My Way, Your Way" thing.

Thanks again! owe you lots of beers ????

Yes she is - 1 of the smartest Thais I've ever met both academically and common sense wise. Naw, I'm not bias in the least. ????

Anyway, glad I could be of some help. 

4 hours ago, chuang said:

You are at fault because you are at fault, not because you are Not Thai.

And you are wrong because you are wrong.

 

To be fair on the kid, did he know he was cheating when you berated him? Does he know the rules of basketball? Maybe he just didn't understand.

I'm adding a generation gap factor.

I presume the op is older. Grew up in a time when cheating in sports was frowned on. The boy is growing up in a world where cheating in team sports is expected.

In football players buy a penalty. when is was a kid it was called cheating.

I blame the cultural shift on Maradonnas hand of god.????

7 minutes ago, Grecian said:

I'm adding a generation gap factor.

I presume the op is older. Grew up in a time when cheating in sports was frowned on. The boy is growing up in a world where cheating in team sports is expected.

In football players buy a penalty. when is was a kid it was called cheating.

I blame the cultural shift on Maradonnas hand of god.????

 

I blame the cultural shift on Maradonnas hand of god.

It's so very easy to blame all of the world's ills onto a scum-sucking cheat, so I will agree with you. ????

 

11 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

A 14 year old, 120 kg half man playing basket ball? I would like to see that. Is the weight because he is 2,14 m long?

However, A teen with a bad attitude is not uncommon. His mother would know better, though.

I think you will find it better to just leave the people that clearly deserve each other alone and get along with your life.

about 5ft, 150cm. Built like a MT fighter, but all fat not much muscle. Doesn't run ????

 

His father does, but probably terrified to do anything about it. 

 

 

11 hours ago, Dcheech said:

Classic. Used to play 2 on 2, rec style for exercise. We would play against Thai teams, whoever is around. Had more than a few Thai teams, who could not, would not, accept a happy medium for rules. They would hack the excrement out of you, travel, etc, when you would point it out, they would get in an argument about it. And you know Thais in a heated argument. Yeesh.  We were doing it for fun and exercise, they were doing it for a different reason.  

In your case, Thais never enjoy having their "faults" pointed out even coaching B Ball.  Good luck with that. You might be lucky too, didn't a Thai footie player just elbow smash a guy in the face, fracturing his cheekbone?! Uh huh. My favorite was the two badminton players who got in a fight, throwing chairs. punches, chasing each other around the court, heh.

 

 

This it truly so insightful ???? Thanks! 

Happens all the time. 2 on 2, 3 on 3. 

They always cheat, and if they get caught it's always your fault and you are the cheat!

 

They make a fun sport highly unenjoyable with their ill mannered grumpy/moody ways. 

 

 

11 hours ago, Dcheech said:

And you know Thais in a heated argument. Yeesh.  We were doing it for fun and exercise, they were doing it for a different reason.

Cheating, faking and not being called on either are fairly standard Thai behaviours.  They were likely having fun too, just they have a different approach to rules than we are used to.  It starts in school where cheating, copying and lying are totally accepted, maybe even encouraged, then it continues into adulthood.

10 hours ago, sipi said:

The kid's health and attitude isn't your problem. He's the one looking at a heart attack.

Move on.

True! That's why probably he is carted by his family to the basketball court to lose some weight. Unfortunately the lazy sod does <deleted> all while binging on litres of sweet drinks while playing game on his phone ????

8 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

As far as your GF is concerned, she sounds like she is lost in space. 

Waste of space, maybe.

10 hours ago, ThailandRyan said:

It is all about FACE and you made him loose it in front of others. You might want to move on and learn some Thai culture.

So ignore the cheating?  Give him a secret penalty at the end of the game?  Surely even in Thailand referees and umpires point out when players break the rules?!!