advice needed if facing possible arrest

[JustAnotherFarang]

Hi guys

 

I am in the unfortunate position of having an ex partner who has made or intends to make some serious allegations to the police. The problem arose because I asked her to leave my home after seeing she was talking with other married men.  I gave her time to pack her things but on returning to my home she called the police using an app that is meant to protect females in dangerous situations.  The police came mob handed and asked if they could comeonto my property but I declined and explained to them in thai that my partner was free to leave and was welcome to do so whilst the police waited outside the gate.  Now she has threatened me online in messages that the police will be calling to arrest me because of the serious nature of her allegations. 

 

What exactly are my rights regarding my right to remain silent and in obtaining good counsel to steer me through tricky waters.  I have lived in my home for 22 years and have never had any dealings with the boys in brown but in light of her allegations my intuition tells me that they will be back

[scubascuba3]

Assuming you are innocent of being a gf\wife beater then you have nothing to worry about, police will lose interest as no evidence unless she self inflicts something. You do see girls true colours in this situation, but you should have complied with police otherwise you look guilty

[JustAnotherFarang]

8 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Assuming you are innocent of being a gf\wife beater then you have nothing to worry about, police will lose interest as no evidence unless she self inflicts something. You do see girls true colours in this situation, but you should have complied with police otherwise you look guilty

Nothing to do with violence but more to do with the sins of my ex wife who committed a quite dreadful sin which she recorded and it was automatically backed up to my google drive at the time.  I have held onto this evidence as leverage to keep my ex wife and her family from taking away my home.

 

I was not impolite to the police and complied with their requests and they escorted her off my property. I was always led to believe that if you allow them to come onto your property mobhanded they would have no qualms in wandering around and snooping inside my home which I felt as an invasion of my privacy.

[OneMoreFarang]

If you are innocent then I guess not much will happen.

How do I know? I don't. But I am pretty sure if it would be very easy for Thai women to create trouble for their boyfriends and husbands then it would happen more frequently.

I don't think it happens frequently.

Stay cool and don't let her provoke you to do anything which could compromise your situation.

Good luck!

[Swiss1960]

23 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

What exactly are my rights regarding my right to remain silent and in obtaining good counsel to steer me through tricky waters.

The thing with police works both ways:

Take a lawyer, go with him to the police, and make a report about your wife cheating on you, threatening you and making false allegations against you!

Since - according to you - your wife has no proofs, because her allegations are false  she will withdraw them pretty fast.

[bkk6060]

Way too many guys think these dating sites are loaded with better quality girls.  Can be just the opposite from my experience.

 

Anyway,  sure you can remain silent.  Traditionally it seems you are treated more fairly if you talk.

If you do not who knows what the consequences might be seems some well publicized horrific incidents have occurred.

In short, I would get a good attorney ASAP for proper legal advice.

[JustAnotherFarang]

3 minutes ago, Swiss1960 said:

The thing with police works both ways:

Take a lawyer, go with him to the police, and make a report about your wife cheating on you, threatening you and making false allegations against you!

Since - according to you - your wife has no proofs, because her allegations are false  she will withdraw them pretty fast.i

It was my new gf that has made the allegations after I asked her to leave.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and this is her scorched earth policy.  The allegations relate to videos of my ex wife which she has seen after accessing my tablet.  I had to hold onto these videos to obtain leverage against my ex wife

[Swiss1960]

4 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

It was my new gf that has made the allegations after I asked her to leave.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and this is her scorched earth policy.  The allegations relate to videos of my ex wife which she has seen after accessing my tablet.  I had to hold onto these videos to obtain leverage against my ex wife

Doesn't matter much.. your now ex gf threatens you online and makes wrong allegations. Take a lawyer, report her to the police, use the defamation laws against everything she put online, because she is trying to ruin your reputation.

 

Don't be the sheep, be the lion

[phetphet]

Might be an idea to install a security camera, in case she tries to gain access without your permission, or do something stupid.

Loss of face makes some Thais do crazy things.

 

You really ought to secure your private media or your tablet.

[JustAnotherFarang]

2 minutes ago, phetphet said:

Might be an idea to install a security camera, in case she tries to gain access without your permission, or do something stupid.

Loss of face makes some Thais do crazy things.

 

You really ought to secure your private media or your tablet.

I did but she memorised my password and accessed it.

[KannikaP]

11 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

I did but she memorised my password and accessed it.

Then change your bloomin' password.........regularly.

[Kenny202]

• Definitely lawyer up now. I was in a similar situation with a nutter here, though in my case she didn't have anything on me. I was under siege for 3 months, her screaming outside my gate for 3 months. Was with her and lived through hell for 5 years and in the end her choice to leave. She even found a new place and moved her stuff out...I locked the gate and simply refused to let her return. The whole time I looked like the bad guy although in reality was her concocting everything. In the end she broke into my house and refused to go until I came and met her, which I knew would end up in her regular violence, screaming and her attempting to provoke me into something. Had no choice but to go to the police. Thought it would be a lay down misere....I hadn't done anything wrong. The police called her and told her to come down the station. Unfortunately they couldn't understand English and I could see I was in a bad situation. I could see her miming that I tried to strangle her lol, and god knows what else....even though I hadn't been within 100 meters of her for months. Obviously there was some agreement made and I was told I had to pay her 500k for her to leave peacefully. I pulled out my lawyers card (whom I had never seen) and told her to kiss my a$$. At that point all interest was lost, the policeman told her to leave my house immediately and that was that. She had also called the police previously because I blocked her on LINE app....and they actually came. Was all a big joke...laughs and smiles all round but we are in a foreign country with few rights and these things can turn badly quickly. You need someone in your corner. I felt much better and more confident after talking with my lawyer. Felt at least like I had some rights and control over my life again. You really do not have any choice, particularly if the police have already been. Normally they wont involve themselves in domestic disputes but sounds like this has gone past that. 

 

• Seems to be the way of things here. Many (not all) come into a relationship with the sole intention of getting something. Riches, Hollywood lifestyle, whilst bringing nothing whatsoever to the relationship except a lot of debt. issues and baggage. I really think they see living with a farang as a down grade and they should be renumerated for it. A lot of the issues we have by this particular type of woman I think the Thai guys often do too. Although they seem to have a better radar for this type and are in a better position to deal with it. You only have to watch their TV / Drama shows. They are all themed around the same thing, Violence, revenge, blackmail etc. Relationship here seem to be like a war where one person wins and the other is kicked to the kerb. They don't seem to come into a relationship with good intentions re family, growth, future...mutual happiness. A few women I have met here seem to only be interested in getting some leverage on you in some way. Many seemingly would love nothing more than for you to hit them. Straight in the bathroom for the evidence selfies. The thing is they come into your life....make your / their own life hell....are obviously dissatisfied or unhappy but refuse to leave. I've been here ten years now and still don't understand it. 

[JustAnotherFarang]

2 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

• Definitely lawyer up now. I was in a similar situation with a nutter here, though in my case she didn't have anything on me. I was under siege for 3 months, her screaming outside my gate for 3 months. Was with her and lived through hell for 5 years and in the end her choice to leave. She even found a new place and moved her stuff out...I locked the gate and simply refused to let her return. The whole time I looked like the bad guy although in reality was her concocting everything. In the end she broke into my house and refused to go until I came and met her, which I knew would end up in her regular violence, screaming and her attempting to provoke me into something. Had no choice but to go to the police. Thought it would be a lay down misere....I hadn't done anything wrong. The police called her and told her to come down the station. Unfortunately they couldn't understand English and I could see I was in a bad situation. I could see her miming that I tried to strangle her lol, and god knows what else....even though I hadn't been within 100 meters of her for months. Obviously there was some agreement made and I was told I had to pay her 500k for her to leave peacefully. I pulled out my lawyers card (whom I had never seen) and told her to kiss my a$$. At that point all interest was lost, the policeman told her to leave my house immediately and that was that. She had also called the police previously because I blocked her on LINE app....and they actually came. Was all a big joke...laughs and smiles all round but we are in a foreign country with few rights and these things can turn badly quickly. You need someone in your corner. I felt much better and more confident after talking with my lawyer. Felt at least like I had some rights and control over my life again. You really do not have any choice, particularly if the police have already been. Normally they wont involve themselves in domestic disputes but sounds like this has gone past that. 

 

• Seems to be the way of things here. Many (not all) come into a relationship with the sole intention of getting something. Riches, Hollywood lifestyle, whilst bringing nothing whatsoever to the relationship except a lot of debt. issues and baggage. I really think they see living with a farang as a down grade and they should be renumerated for it. A lot of the issues we have by this particular type of woman I think the Thai guys often do too. Although they seem to have a better radar for this type and are in a better position to deal with it. You only have to watch their TV / Drama shows. They are all themed around the same thing, Violence, revenge, blackmail etc. Relationship here seem to be like a war where one person wins and the other is kicked to the kerb. They don't seem to come into a relationship with good intentions re family, growth, future...mutual happiness. A few women I have met here seem to only be interested in getting some leverage on you in some way. Many seemingly would love nothing more than for you to hit them. Straight in the bathroom for the evidence selfies. The thing is they come into your life....make your / their own life hell....are obviously dissatisfied or unhappy but refuse to leave. I've been here ten years now and still don't understand it. 

thank you so so much fo taking the time to relate, I appreciate it and will seek legal representation albeit I live in a small town and there is not much choice.  Thank you once again

[jvs]

It all depends who she is and where she came from,i assume her name is not in the house

book or rental agreement?

In that case she has no reason to be there.

Just make very sure you do not get into a screaming match,and never in front of the police.

Let them see first hand how crazy she is,i would not worry too much if i were you.

In a similar case i saw a senior police man ask the woman where she came from and he told her very impolitely to go back there in a hurry or he would lock her up,she left.

[robblok]

@JustAnotherFarang

 

If the sin of your wife is of explicit nature you can be in trouble for having that on your google drive. Besides that i don't seen many problems.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

What exactly are my rights regarding my right to remain silent and in obtaining good counsel to steer me through tricky waters.  I have lived in my home for 22 years and have never had any dealings with the boys in brown but in light of her allegations my intuition tells me that they will be back

I wouldn't worry, the police in Thailand aren't all that bothered about domestic disputes.

What they already did, see her safely off the property, is about the limit of their interest.

 

Allegations of beatings and rape are generally ignored if you were living together.

'Why didn't you leave' is their normal response to such tales of woe.

 

[JustAnotherFarang]

Just now, robblok said:

@JustAnotherFarang

 

If the sin of your wife is of explicit nature you can be in trouble for having that on your google drive. Besides that i don't seen many problems.

it is of explicit nature and will result in the arrest of my ex wife.  You may well ask why I have not used it and my answer is simply this, my home and the land is in her name and by seeking divorce I would be forced to sell it.  I instead chose to keep it as leverage and keep the wolves at bay

[robblok]

4 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

it is of explicit nature and will result in the arrest of my ex wife.  You may well ask why I have not used it and my answer is simply this, my home and the land is in her name and by seeking divorce I would be forced to sell it.  I instead chose to keep it as leverage and keep the wolves at bay

In short you want to stay married and keep the property but not have her around. Not sure if that can be done as as long as your married she has the right to get in the shared house. 

[JustAnotherFarang]

7 minutes ago, robblok said:

In short you want to stay married and keep the property but not have her around. Not sure if that can be done as as long as your married she has the right to get in the shared house. 

You are right but she knows the video evidence against her and ran away back to Bangkok 2 years ago.  The last time we communicated she said I could stay in the house for as long as I lived providing I did not seek her prosecution, its was a sordid status quo that worked well enough for me and I have had no dealings with her whatsoever.  Now its the ex gf who is making threats knowing that if she tells the police they will come and arrest me first and seek the evidence, which no longer resides on Google.

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

You are right but she knows the video evidence against her and ran away back to Bangkok 2 years ago.  The last time we communicated she said I could stay in the house for as long as I lived providing I did not seek her prosecution, its was a sordid status quo that worked well enough for me and I have had no dealings with her whatsoever.  Now its the ex gf who is making threats knowing that if she tells the police they will come and arrest me first and seek the evidence, which no longer resides on Google.

To be fair, you were asking for trouble allowing your new gf to access your tablet/computer, trawl your data. My women doesn't get to see anything I have.

 

As for what she's seen, delete it, or move it, and if the question ever arises deny it ever existed and stick to that story.

 

No evidence = no crime.

[Iamfalang]

ex partner..... OK, so probably can't get the house.

 

jealousy over money, seems like it.

 

if you have a house, i'm guessing she doesn't, she wants you to be miserable.  

 

It's gotta be about the house or money somehow.

 

don't see a lady doing this over a backpacker renting a room.

 

if there is any chance to get a house or money from you, this will never end.

 

then the village turns against you.  

 

bad luck...........I'd escape the village, maybe rent the house to someone you trust, and try to sell the house.

 

this is Thailand, gotta do crazy stuff.  

[robblok]

19 minutes ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

You are right but she knows the video evidence against her and ran away back to Bangkok 2 years ago.  The last time we communicated she said I could stay in the house for as long as I lived providing I did not seek her prosecution, its was a sordid status quo that worked well enough for me and I have had no dealings with her whatsoever.  Now its the ex gf who is making threats knowing that if she tells the police they will come and arrest me first and seek the evidence, which no longer resides on Google.

Ok im confused.

 

So the ex wife is not the one who is causing problems but an other GF that knows about the blackmail material ?

 

I dont think you have problems

[petermik]

Take more care when choosing your next GF...your previous choices are not the types you should be looking for in the future....and good luck ????

[Kenny202]

51 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I wouldn't worry, the police in Thailand aren't all that bothered about domestic disputes.

What they already did, see her safely off the property, is about the limit of their interest.

 

Allegations of beatings and rape are generally ignored if you were living together.

'Why didn't you leave' is their normal response to such tales of woe.

 

Its funny isn't it. So many women (if not all) I have met here have stories of abuse and Thai men beating them, cheating etc but it always seems the man found a new woman or booted HER out, and she was the one wanting to come back. After hearing their sad tale of woe I normally say to them..."he get new lady?" Why? what was wrong with you? Logically in a relationship if one person wants to get away from the other you would assume there was a reason and I tend to take the side of the person who chose to remove them self from the situation for whatever reason. Everyone man or woman should have the choice of who they spend their life with. A man is a simple creature and while some will pay around for the "sport"...... most blokes I think don't need a lot to be contented and stay with one woman. When the woman (or man) is clearly bringing nothing to the relationship apart from drama, moodiness and problems....for no apparent reason

[Kenny202]

2 minutes ago, petermik said:

Take more care when choosing your next GF...your previous choices are not the types you should be looking for in the future....and good luck ????

Thats not always that easy here. Most show their true colors first week to 2 months. others are much better adept at hiding their true selves....particularly in a long distance relationship where you are only spending a week or two with them at a time. And class or background is no guarantee you have a keeper. usually an educated woman will be a lot more balanced emotionally but sometimes have the same end game in mind

[chuang]

You asked her to leave "because she was talking with married men"....holy <deleted>..LOL..

[Kwasaki]

The old problem "A woman scorned"

Get a Thai lawyer to get a court injuction against her shows you are prepared to fork out some money to prove your innocence.

[KhunLA]

Since already 'mobbed up' and escorted her off, and didn't invade your privacy, I'd think you don't have much to worry about.  They would have took action already if they believed anything she said.

 

If innocent of criminal, don't worry.  If civil, it gets expensive for her to pursue, and to what end.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 hour ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

my home and the land is in her name and by seeking divorce I would be forced to sell it.

How could you be "forced to sell" property that your wife owns?   It's not yours to sell.

[Kildonan]

2 hours ago, JustAnotherFarang said:

I did but she memorised my password and accessed it.

Use Photo Vault for your private stuff. And lock the file, with another password.