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Posted

Hi crew,

My Thai wife has been with me in Australia since July 2019 and is struggling with her mental health at the moment. The pressures in Australia and Thailand with work, money, life, and husband are getting her down and she says she feels bi polar at times.

 

As background, in the week prior to her travel to me in Australia in 2019, she took her father to the Dr as he was feeling unwell and when the medical results came back they were not good, so after a week in Australia, with my blessings she returned home to care for him in what became his final 3 weeks.

He was estranged from her mother but assisted the extended family in caring for my wife's two daughters, now aged 15 & 17.

Where we live in Darwin was spared the worst the day to day effects of Covid and its restrictions, but obviously we haven't been able to return to Thailand and whilst I've suggested that she can now return for a period, she does have ongoing financial commitments that will not be eased if shes not working, earning and sending, as I'm sure you can all relate.

 

My thinking is this: Can I find a Thai psychologist who could consult via Line, Messenger, Facetime or such ?

My thinking is that the problem with an Australian Dr is my wifes English. My wife's English is self taught like many, and she lacks the nuances of native English speaking, hence I'm seeking suggestions for a Thai Dr to help her understand her issues better.

 

Apologies for the excess info...

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

Thanks Kenny.

Mrs HP doesn't experience these symptoms, she is a very caring considerate woman, her symptoms are feeling highs and lows and the money pressures mainly back home, leading her to a listlessness which leads to gamboling, losses and self loathing...

 

I'm not surprised to hear that some Thai Drs may not be right at the top of their profession.

I'm still of the opinion that being able to think and express themselves in Thai would be easier than an Aussie pontificating and Mrs HP understanding not much after "hello, take a seat"

 

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

  • Thumbs Up 1
Posted
1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems you want a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.

Better get that right before you start searching.

 

And, from my personal experience, she should look for a person to whom she can talk to and who (seems to) understand her. That is more important than lots of different methods. And the talking should be in her native language. 

 

Good luck!

Noted and thank you.

Posted
8 minutes ago, HighPriority said:

Noted and thank you.

Kenny, I agree that she needs a psychologist. I have both one prescribed pills and the other is the one ai talk to for counselling.

 

Have you thought about the church or other organizations?  

 

A Thai person no matter how good a psychologist they are is not going to be able t help her as they will not be able to understand the difference in lifestyle between Thailand and Aus.

 

Hell reading here I am not sure many Aussies understand lol.

 

Go online also it might not be a bad idea to take her to a counselor and see maybe they can recommend someone.  Also talk to the Thai communities in the different cities in Oz 

I am sure she is not the first o person to have trouble acclimatizing

 

 

 

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Posted

You might try reaching out to Scott Berry in Bangkok.  He might have a better idea of which Thai speaking therapists would potentially do some therapy via Zoom or Skype with you wife.  The 'sadness' of the moment is wearing on a lot of people right now and getting some better coping skills might help take the edge off things.  One other potentially helpful thing would be transcendental meditation, 20 minutes twice a day to lower the stress level.  One of the physicians who studied TM came up with a pretty simple and easy to practice version detailed below.  My dad used this technique and stopped drinking and smoking --- 2 very difficult things to shake.  

 

The Relaxation Response

Herbert Benson, M.D. Harvard University

The Relaxation Response is a natural innate protective mechanism which allows us to turn off harmful effects from stress through changes that decrease heart rate, lower metabolism, decrease rate of breathing, and in this way being the body back into a healthier balance. There are four basic elements necessary to evoke the Relaxation Response.

a. a quiet environment,
b. an object to dwell upon,
c. a passive attitude
– “let it happen,” and d. a comfortable position.

In order to trigger the Relaxation Response, follow the steps below:

  1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

  2. Close your eyes.

  3. Deeply relax all your muscles

  4. Breathe through your nose. Become aware of your breathing. As you breathe out, say the word “ONE” silently to yourself. For example, breathe IN---OUT, “ONE”: IN...OUT, “ONE”: etc. Breathe easily and naturally.

  5. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm. When you finish, sit quietly for several minutes, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes opened. Do not stand up for a few minutes.

  6. Do not worry about whether you are successful in achieving a deep level of relaxation. Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace. When distracting thoughts occur, merely return to repeating “ONE.” With practice, the response should come with little effort. Practice the technique once or twice daily but not within two hours after any meal since the digestive process seems to interfere with the elicitation of the Relaxation Response.

 
 
Skyscrapers in Bangkok
 
 
 
 
 
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Mental health coaching and counselling services

Complete one of the quick quizzes below to see if you need a little help, right now.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Dr Scott Berry

Book in to see me

Hi. My name is Scott. I'm a professionally certified coach and counsellor, based in Bangkok, serving English-speaking expats here and across Asia. I work with people face-fo-face and online. I've been in Bangkok for about 15 years now. I have qualifications in psychotherapy from the UK. I have a PhD from Australia. Reach out to me for a no-pressure chat. If I can't help, no problem. I'll help you find someone who can!

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  • Like 1
Posted
22 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

Kenny, I agree that she needs a psychologist. I have both one prescribed pills and the other is the one ai talk to for counselling.

 

Have you thought about the church or other organizations?  

 

A Thai person no matter how good a psychologist they are is not going to be able t help her as they will not be able to understand the difference in lifestyle between Thailand and Aus.

 

Hell reading here I am not sure many Aussies understand lol.

 

Go online also it might not be a bad idea to take her to a counselor and see maybe they can recommend someone.  Also talk to the Thai communities in the different cities in Oz 

I am sure she is not the first o person to have trouble acclimatizing

 

 

 

All sound advice, thank you.

Only Thai who live overseas have ANY understanding on how the land of milk and honey (farangland) really works

  • Like 1
Posted
22 minutes ago, Rumpelstilskin said:

You might try reaching out to Scott Berry in Bangkok.  He might have a better idea of which Thai speaking therapists would potentially do some therapy via Zoom or Skype with you wife.  The 'sadness' of the moment is wearing on a lot of people right now and getting some better coping skills might help take the edge off things.  One other potentially helpful thing would be transcendental meditation, 20 minutes twice a day to lower the stress level.  One of the physicians who studied TM came up with a pretty simple and easy to practice version detailed below.  My dad used this technique and stopped drinking and smoking --- 2 very difficult things to shake.  

 

The Relaxation Response

Herbert Benson, M.D. Harvard University

The Relaxation Response is a natural innate protective mechanism which allows us to turn off harmful effects from stress through changes that decrease heart rate, lower metabolism, decrease rate of breathing, and in this way being the body back into a healthier balance. There are four basic elements necessary to evoke the Relaxation Response.

a. a quiet environment,
b. an object to dwell upon,
c. a passive attitude
– “let it happen,” and d. a comfortable position.

In order to trigger the Relaxation Response, follow the steps below:

  1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

  2. Close your eyes.

  3. Deeply relax all your muscles

  4. Breathe through your nose. Become aware of your breathing. As you breathe out, say the word “ONE” silently to yourself. For example, breathe IN---OUT, “ONE”: IN...OUT, “ONE”: etc. Breathe easily and naturally.

  5. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm. When you finish, sit quietly for several minutes, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes opened. Do not stand up for a few minutes.

  6. Do not worry about whether you are successful in achieving a deep level of relaxation. Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace. When distracting thoughts occur, merely return to repeating “ONE.” With practice, the response should come with little effort. Practice the technique once or twice daily but not within two hours after any meal since the digestive process seems to interfere with the elicitation of the Relaxation Response.

 
 
Skyscrapers in Bangkok
 
 
 
 
 
LOGIN

Mental health coaching and counselling services

Complete one of the quick quizzes below to see if you need a little help, right now.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Dr Scott Berry

Book in to see me

Hi. My name is Scott. I'm a professionally certified coach and counsellor, based in Bangkok, serving English-speaking expats here and across Asia. I work with people face-fo-face and online. I've been in Bangkok for about 15 years now. I have qualifications in psychotherapy from the UK. I have a PhD from Australia. Reach out to me for a no-pressure chat. If I can't help, no problem. I'll help you find someone who can!

professional-certified-coach-pcc.png
icf-member-badge.png
Scott Berry Close Up.png
ukraine.jpeg
 
 
 
 
 

Thank you Rumpel.

Mrs HP is quite mindful and usually nods off to sleep while listening to Monks chanting and droning.

I'll be showing her this thread and see what she thinks of it.

Posted

Just a general thought: Many people think psychiatrists and psychologists are only needed by crazy people who can't function alone anymore. At least that is what I remember from farangland some time ago.

 

In reality basically everybody will benefit from talking to someone who understands the human mind. 

We all do lots of things because we somehow long time ago learned that that is the way to do things. And most of us have no idea where our behaviors originate in our past. And maybe it's still relevant. But we do also lots of things which don't make any sense anymore in the here and now. We just do it because we always did it like that.

 

If your wife is reluctant to go to a "doctor for crazy people" then maybe suggest that he can help her to get over the death of her father or something like that. Once the door is open, they can, and will, talk about anything. 

 

  • Like 2
Posted
6 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

A little light reading for me tonight... ????

Mrs HP, like I suspect most Thai is quite happy to chomp away on any medication offered to her by seemingly anyone, unless its completing a course of antibiotics...????

But like you, I'm a little more circumspect to medication, it certainly has its place and need.

 

Thank you for your link

Posted
2 minutes ago, HighPriority said:

A little light reading for me tonight... ????

Mrs HP, like I suspect most Thai is quite happy to chomp away on any medication offered to her by seemingly anyone, unless its completing a course of antibiotics...????

But like you, I'm a little more circumspect to medication, it certainly has its place and need.

 

Thank you for your link

I bought some 2 days ago. I feel better. Can get powder or tablets.

  • Like 1
Posted
3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Just a general thought: Many people think psychiatrists and psychologists are only needed by crazy people who can't function alone anymore. At least that is what I remember from farangland some time ago.

 

In reality basically everybody will benefit from talking to someone who understands the human mind. 

We all do lots of things because we somehow long time ago learned that that is the way to do things. And most of us have no idea where our behaviors originate in our past. And maybe it's still relevant. But we do also lots of things which don't make any sense anymore in the here and now. We just do it because we always did it like that.

 

If your wife is reluctant to go to a "doctor for crazy people" then maybe suggest that he can help her to get over the death of her father or something like that. Once the door is open, they can, and will, talk about anything. 

 

Yes, she is not overly enthusiastic about this proposed therapy but she hasn't rejected it out of hand either...

I have framed it as helping her to understand whats happening in her head and helping her to think differently and so far so good. As you said earlier, it's all about her feeling comfortable to talk and i guess listen to feedback.

  • Like 1
Posted

One thing you may not have considered is you may not have the whole story if she is gambling. Things could be far worse than you know. Seen it repeated over and over again here, usually involving loan sharks. I know you are in Oz but do you have any property or assets in Thailand? Don't want to be negative or add to your woes but unfortunately they get themselves (and you) into financial difficulty all the time. My missus Aunty just died of brain cancer, husband working in Korea sending money back ten years for a nest egg when he gets back. Not only had that all long gone but she had taken out loans on the mother in laws farms, homes and a brother. Other person had been sending money back to what she thought pay off a 500k student loan. When the smoke cleared about 7 million baht blown to the winds

 

  • Like 1
Posted
2 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

One thing you may not have considered is you may not have the whole story if she is gambling. Things could be far worse than you know. Seen it repeated over and over again here, usually involving loan sharks. I know you are in Oz but do you have any property or assets in Thailand? Don't want to be negative or add to your woes but unfortunately they get themselves (and you) into financial difficulty all the time. My missus Aunty just died of brain cancer, husband working in Korea sending money back ten years for a nest egg when he gets back. Not only had that all long gone but she had taken out loans on the mother in laws farms, homes and a brother. Other person had been sending money back to what she thought pay off a 500k student loan. When the smoke cleared about 7 million baht blown to the winds

 

Yes lots of Thais terrible gamblers. Lots of family members bludgers as well.

  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, HighPriority said:

My thinking is this: Can I find a Thai Psychiatrist who could consult via Line, Messenger, Facetime or such ?

Being consulted by either specialist on-line is akin to eating ice cream on line, the doctors need to eyeball the patient behavior, responses and deminur in order to form an the right opinion and treatment and oly a psychiatrist can prescribe behavior altering medicines,

i know a good Thai psychiatrist in BKK's Theptharin hospital, Dr. Udomsil  should you'll need to consult him...

  • Like 1
Posted

Just found this link for video consultation with Bumrungrud docs:

https://intmedicaltreatment.com/bumrungrad-telemed-consultation/

 

I haven't dug into it and can't say if psychiatrists are available. A plus with a top private hospital like Bumrungrud is that almost all the the docs have trained in the west and have a notion of what it's like there.

 

Good luck. Your wife is lucky to have such a caring husband.

  • Like 1
Posted
20 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

One thing you may not have considered is you may not have the whole story if she is gambling. Things could be far worse than you know. Seen it repeated over and over again here, usually involving loan sharks. I know you are in Oz but do you have any property or assets in Thailand? Don't want to be negative or add to your woes but unfortunately they get themselves (and you) into financial difficulty all the time. My missus Aunty just died of brain cancer, husband working in Korea sending money back ten years for a nest egg when he gets back. Not only had that all long gone but she had taken out loans on the mother in laws farms, homes and a brother. Other person had been sending money back to what she thought pay off a 500k student loan. When the smoke cleared about 7 million baht blown to the winds

 

Geez, that’s  a horror story mate.

I have no property or assets in Thailand.

When we met Mrs HP had a block in the village that she has a almost lock up house on, (too many) miscellaneous debts and after her father died she agreed to purchase 2 more blocks in the village for her daughters.

Most of this she has done on her own with some short term financing from me.

She has knocked over most of her debts to the best of my knowledge.

The biggest problem with the gamboling is that she’s picked up a couple of handy tax return cheques and blew at least 1/2 of one on the pokies… the most evil of contraptions !!

At it’s worst I had to close our joint bank account because she was unable to control herself.

Shes lived a hand to mouth existence and the thought of a bank account with 100k Baht was too tempting.

 

Posted

Siriraj Hospital in Bangkok has several speciality clinics including at least three Psychaitrists.  They have an online AI bot to guide you through getting the right person.

 

Read more at https://www2.si.mahidol.ac.th/en/news-events/siriraj-launched-psyjai-a-i-chatbot-for-mental-health/

 

I am using one of the Psychaitrists for several years now and he speaks excellent English and of course, Thai.  He is very professional and doesn't cost a small fortune like private hospitals.  He may not be the right person for your wife so I won't name him here.

 

Good luck with finding the right person to treat your wife.

  • Like 1
Posted
30 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Yes lots of Thais terrible gamblers. Lots of family members bludgers as well.

We are lucky, her family are all good hard working people who look out for each other.

Mrs HP also understands that if she sends back 20k Baht a month everyone will eat and have electricity and if we send 40k Baht everyone will eat well and have electricity… but no Baht saved for next month.

Its human nature the world over…

Posted
19 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Being consulted by either specialist on-line is akin to eating ice cream on line, the doctors need to eyeball the patient behavior, responses and deminur in order to form an the right opinion and treatment and oly a psychiatrist can prescribe behavior altering medicines,

i know a good Thai psychiatrist in BKK's Theptharin hospital, Dr. Udomsil  should you'll need to consult him...

Yes, I do understand the preference for personal consultation but I believe that removing the language barrier is the next best option.

Darwin is only home to 200k people so I’m not going to find a Thai psychologist here.

Posted
13 minutes ago, Why Me said:

Just found this link for video consultation with Bumrungrud docs:

https://intmedicaltreatment.com/bumrungrad-telemed-consultation/

 

I haven't dug into it and can't say if psychiatrists are available. A plus with a top private hospital like Bumrungrud is that almost all the the docs have trained in the west and have a notion of what it's like there.

 

Good luck. Your wife is lucky to have such a caring husband.

Thank you for your link and kind words, more homework ????????

Posted
9 minutes ago, lujanit said:

Siriraj Hospital in Bangkok has several speciality clinics including at least three Psychaitrists.  They have an online AI bot to guide you through getting the right person.

 

Read more at https://www2.si.mahidol.ac.th/en/news-events/siriraj-launched-psyjai-a-i-chatbot-for-mental-health/

 

I am using one of the Psychaitrists for several years now and he speaks excellent English and of course, Thai.  He is very professional and doesn't cost a small fortune like private hospitals.  He may not be the right person for your wife so I won't name him here.

 

Good luck with finding the right person to treat your wife.

Thank you very much and I hope your treatment continues to go well. 

Posted

I'm a retired mental health professional. My suggestion is to try to find a psychologist or therapist as the first step. The issues seem more situational and helping her identify the problems and her thinking around them would be a good place to start. Psychologists also charge less than psychiatrists. 

 

Psychiatrists are medical doctors who, at least in Thailand, tend to use a medical model and seem to very quickly offer medications as a way of mitigating the symptoms. Medications are certainly appropropriate for some mental health issues and some people, but I wouldn't start there. 

 

A psychologist or counselor would begin by talking about what's going on in her world and seek better understanding about coping strategies she might use. In my experience, there will be a better outcome if the counseling is done in the client's native language. Unfortunately I don't have any specific recommendations for a Thai psychologist.

  • Like 1
Posted
14 minutes ago, DFPhuket said:

I'm a retired mental health professional. My suggestion is to try to find a psychologist or therapist as the first step. The issues seem more situational and helping her identify the problems and her thinking around them would be a good place to start. Psychologists also charge less than psychiatrists. 

 

Psychiatrists are medical doctors who, at least in Thailand, tend to use a medical model and seem to very quickly offer medications as a way of mitigating the symptoms. Medications are certainly appropropriate for some mental health issues and some people, but I wouldn't start there. 

 

A psychologist or counselor would begin by talking about what's going on in her world and seek better understanding about coping strategies she might use. In my experience, there will be a better outcome if the counseling is done in the client's native language. Unfortunately I don't have any specific recommendations for a Thai psychologist.

Thank you for your insights and advice DFPhuket, should I be looking for a hospital based Dr or searching for a private practice ?

Do you have any thoughts on my zoom/FaceTime strategy ?

thank you

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