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Making friends with Thai men.


bob smith

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It's hard to say without knowing you.

 

What happens when you pursue the friendship with a Thai guy like you would with the expats?

 

Do they just ignore you or flake out on meetups or be uptight? Be more specific about the behavior pattern you are seeing.

Edited by JimTripper
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2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Very ironic that you like Chiang Mai which is just as big a dump as Pattaya ( and I lived in Chiang Mai for a year to know ). Unlike C M Pattaya actually has a night life.

CM city is average. I like the countryside. I dont care for nightlife.

 

The locals are friendly in CM plus I like northern food.

 

I was in CM 2 months ago. 

 

 

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On 10/29/2022 at 1:15 PM, Gecko123 said:

Totally agree. Myself included. Question is whether you have explore beyond what may have initially attracted you to Thailand. Those who don't are the ones who become bitter and twisted.

I explored most of Thailand quite thoroughly. That I did it with a benefit of a rent a girlfriend only added to the pleasure.

I have become bitter and twisted, but only after giving up the bar scene and going the respectable route of marriage and domesticity.

I should have stayed single and a happy monger.

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Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

C M locals are not, IMO, any more friendly than those elsewhere in LOS.

You find locals in Pattaya friendly? I think NK has friendly locals.

 

Anyway different tastes is what life is. If we all liked the same we would all be in the same spots.

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7 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I explored most of Thailand quite thoroughly. That I did it with a benefit of a rent a girlfriend only added to the pleasure.

I have become bitter and twisted, but only after giving up the bar scene and going the respectable route of marriage and domesticity.

I should have stayed single and a happy monger.

Which are your top 5 places?

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Just now, Sparktrader said:

You find locals in Pattaya friendly? I think NK has friendly locals.

 

Anyway different tastes is what life is. If we all liked the same we would all be in the same spots.

Leaving aside the bar workers, the locals I encountered in Pattaya were no more unfriendly than elsewhere I went in LOS.

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1 minute ago, Sparktrader said:

Ok. Leaving aside "nighlife" what is the appeal there?

Loads of reasonably priced good accommodation ( but not as cheap as C M ); cheap baht bus transport ( fixed route )- many C M red bus drivers were rip off merchants, especially from Promenada; 2 hours by bus from Bkk, trains and the airport; Jomtien beach a short ride away; more sights close than C M, and the tours are better value; R G mall.

 

Traffic is appalling, but not worse than C M IMO.

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4 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

You find locals in Pattaya friendly? I think NK has friendly locals.

 

Anyway different tastes is what life is. If we all liked the same we would all be in the same spots.

Locals in pattaya are friendly,  I think it just depends, on the type of person you are. and how you treat them, :giggle:

But just a heads up, A large proportion of the population of pattaya are not from pattaya, but i'm sure you know that on your trips there. :giggle:

Also in pattaya you can find all the different styles of Thai food,

you just need to  look.  or ask a local Isan worker where the food you particularly like can be found.

it may well be,  that the food of your choose is prepared by a member of staff from that very region.

Happy Pattaya and the sometimes, not so happy Falangs  :jap:

 

 

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Loads of reasonably priced good accommodation ( but not as cheap as C M ); cheap baht bus transport ( fixed route )- many C M red bus drivers were rip off merchants, especially from Promenada; 2 hours by bus from Bkk, trains and the airport; Jomtien beach a short ride away; more sights close than C M, and the tours are better value; R G mall.

 

Traffic is appalling, but not worse than C M IMO.

Traffic was worse in 2006 in Pattaya than CM in 2022. Must be worse now.

 

 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Bangkok has that. Just more of it. More things to do. Greater range of nightlife. 

Never liked Bangkok, that much, bit to over crowed and busy for me.

Also to many pretentious,  judgmental Falangs for me. :cheesy:

 

 

Edited by Orinoco
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55 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

It's hard to say without knowing you.

 

What happens when you pursue the friendship with a Thai guy like you would with the expats?

 

Do they just ignore you or flake out on meetups or be uptight? Be more specific about the behavior pattern you are seeing.

Does he want Thais to drink with? Or do other things? 

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50 minutes ago, Sparktrader said:

Does he want Thais to drink with? Or do other things? 

Well, he said straight Thai guys, so I guess those kind of "other things" are out.

 

I think he meant he has a good time with foreigners but they depart (move away) soon, so he wants good Thai friends who stick around more and have more of a long term friendship.

 

To do that he needs to goto Thai bars though, not expat bars. 

 

 

Edited by JimTripper
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Whatever your conclusion, my sincere advice would be NEVER to drink with them, even those you consider close male friends. They are too easily offended, and most Westerners are not equipped to manage this well. Different cultures.

Keep them surface level, as they do with you. Enjoy the women who have something to gain from your friendship. Have Thai male acquaintances who are predominantly your lady's family.. 

Edited by Highend Expat
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44 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Well, he said straight Thai guys, so I guess those kind of "other things" are out.

 

I think he meant he has a good time with foreigners but they depart (move away) soon, so he wants good Thai friends who stick around more and have more of a long term friendship.

 

To do that he needs to goto Thai bars though, not expat bars. 

 

 

Like golf, cycling,walking not sex!

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1 hour ago, Sparktrader said:

Does he want Thais to drink with? Or do other things? 

Truth is that this phenomenon is not only seen in Thailand. It's right across most of Asia! Worst in North and East Asia. 

 

Asian men and Western really don't have much in common culturally. Also, they know most of us aren't here for them. We're here for the women. 

 

Chinese dooninant people groups are particularly bad in my experience. 

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1 minute ago, Highend Expat said:

Truth is that this phenomenon is not only seen in Thailand. It's right across most of Asia! Worst in North and East Asia. 

 

Asian men and Western really don't have much in common culturally. Also, they know most of us aren't here for them. We're here for the women. 

 

Chinese dooninant people groups are particularly bad in my experience. 

True. Or pick up together. Thai wing man

 

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3 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I think my post categorizing Thai male bashers hit the target squarely on the nose. The few peripheral potshots and personal attacks it elicited only served to bolster my confidence that it was on the money. These assessments were made after careful and long term observation of who is behind the Thai bashing on the forum. No, I don't have spreadsheets and statistics, but these observations weren't made casually or pulled out of a hat on the spur of the moment either.  Insights into how these conclusions were reached are shared below:

 

The profile of the Thai male basher:

 

1. Can't speak Thai (98%)

A large number of the people who engage in this activity have indicated at one time or another that their Thai language skills are at best very rudimentary. Another huge reason for reaching this conclusion is the knowledge that obtaining a high degree of proficiency in Thai requires such an enormous investment of time and effort (I estimate 8,000 hours) that every resource available to acquire that high degree of proficiency would have to be marshaled.. No one trying to reach that level of proficiency could afford the luxury of avoiding Thai male speakers, and having made this investment in time and effort, no one could afford to avoid Thai males because they are too valuable a resource to help maintain their level of proficiency. Finally, anyone who had reached a high level of proficiency in Thai would have had ample opportunity to recognize the humanity, character and personality of Thai males, making their demonization and dehumanization next to impossible.  

 

2. Red-light district oriented (75%)

A large part of this comes from observing where the Thai male bashers are geographically located. Pattaya is definitely an epicenter for this activity. The "I only talk to Thai women" mentality is only sustainable in a red-light district one-night stand environment. As soon as you get out of that setting it's next to impossible to avoid interacting with Thai males because any Thai significant other you have is going to have interaction with Thai males, be it family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc.

 

3. Racist (99%)

There is a very high correlation between posters making negative comments about Thai males and racist posts about Indians, Chinese, Arabs, non-white politicians in the West, hostility to BLM, hostility to non-white immigration to home countries, etc. Almost a 100% correlation.

 

4. Socially isolated (89%)

Quite a number of the most vociferous Thai male bashers also have extremely high post counts and average posts/day which is telling me that they are spending an inordinate amounts of time in solitary activities. Also, anyone who has such a deep-seated hostility towards half the Thai population is not likely to have much of a social life here in Thailand.

 

5. Substance abuser (70%)

You can get a pretty good idea of who is posting while inebriated. Many posters openly admit to it. Super high post counts, becoming overly animated, and having an exaggerated opinion of one's wittiness or humorousness are further signs of this. This posting behavior is frequently observed in posters who engage in Thai male bashing.

 

6. Working class employment and educational background (99%)

Deduced from background information shared over time, the quality of posts, grammatical skills, etc. Do ASEANNOW's best and brightest posters engage in Thai bashing or wallow in other forms of grievance politics? No, they do not. Finally, if you use Jared Diamond's broad definition of intelligence as "the ability to extract benefit from one's environment," anybody who limits the potential resources available to them based on arbitrary criteria such as race or religion or gender, in my opinion, is by definition not as smart as they would otherwise be.

 

7. Suffering from age-related health problems (90%)

Largely based on average age of forum members, anecdotal disclosure, suspected sedentary lifestyle, anecdotal disclosures about diet, alcohol and tobacco consumption.

 

you are obviously an intelligent guy, gecko. it's just a crying shame that your knowledge and opinions on this topic are totally misguided. it's kind of disappointing. 

Edited by bob smith
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