Should tell him? Or not?

[Captain Monday]

15 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

He'd better keep making the loot or have some good investments for when he doesn't, or IMO he'll be joining us single sad sacks when it runs out.

 

 

Both govt MDs with kids near college age which is good don't see how people survive in US without min $250k per person. Sitting here thinking they are there only 2 couples I know well who has been together more than 20 years there.

 

I got married young for the standard reasons and got out early. Probably would not do it again. Certainly not for a visa, with a sex worker and kid. Village house to be registered in her name.  The well trodden path of failure. The only think left out possibly to "open a bar" and take out some life insurance policy  and wills

[4MyEgo]

17 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You make them sound like dogs, or other domesticated animals  that can be controlled. IMO if we are comparing them to animals it would be cats, which can't be controlled, though they will hang around if they get fed and have a nice place to live in.

I wouldn't call them animals, however, women in general from my experience, require a man to be a man, and if I may use the expression, "put them in their place" when needed, that is, e.g. they expect it, yes, they expect the man to wear the pants, otherwise they lose respect for their man, who in their eyes becomes a wimp, or is boring, yet at the same time they want their independence etc.

 

Make of that what you will, but you can't have your cake and eat it too, I say.

[Lee65]

"Beast Of Burden"
 

I'll never be your beast of burden
My back is broad, but it's a-hurting
All I want, for you to make love to me
I'll never be your beast of burden
I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting
All I want is for you to make love to me

Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I'm not too blind to see

I'll never be your beast of burden
So let's go home and draw the curtains
Music on the radio
Come on, baby, make sweet love to me

Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I'm not too blind to see

Oh, little sister
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girls
You're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Pretty, pretty, such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl
Come on, baby, please, please, please

I'll tell you, you can put me out on the street
Put me out with no shoes on my feet
But put me out, put me out
Put me out of misery, yeah
All your sickness, I can suck it up
Throw it all at me, I can shrug it off
There's one thing, baby, I don't understand
You keep on telling me I ain't your kind of man

Ain't I rough enough? Ooh, honey
Ain't I tough enough?
Ain't I rich enough? In love enough?
Ooh, please

I'll never be your beast of burden
I'll never be your beast of burden
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be
I'll never be your beast of burden
I've walked for miles, my feet are hurting
All I want is you to make love to me, yeah
I don't need no beast of burden
I need no fussing, I need no nursing
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

[Goat]

On 2/8/2023 at 5:13 PM, 4MyEgo said:

Others falling by the way side, why, because they don't know women, or how to handle their finances, that applies to all guys with all women

Let me guess.

Second marriage? 

[Goat]

On 2/14/2023 at 10:55 AM, 4MyEgo said:

I wouldn't call them animals, however, women in general from my experience, require a man to be a man, and if I may use the expression, "put them in their place"

I am starting to understand why you married a prostitute now.

Put them in their place? Your place now is in Sakon Nakhon. Her place.

[Goat]

On 2/14/2023 at 10:32 AM, BritManToo said:

No woman wants a 'good guy' when she can get 'a real piece of work'.

 

If you want women you have two choices.

1. Become a violent thug (they like them).

2. Earn enough money to pay them (they also like money).

Happy Valentines Day.

Can i guess your first marriage didnt work out? Not brutal enough?

And like 4My ego now living in Thailand with a rental type?

[GinBoy2]

So, back to the OP....

 

I think many of us have in our lives told friends bitter truths.

 

It can go many ways.

 

Mine is a rather Thai story.

 

A Swedish friend was dating a Thai lady who was related to my wife.

 

He was back in Sweden and she hooked up with an Italian guy and went on vacation there, totally unbeknown to Swedish guy.

 

She wasn't a hooker or bar girl, but just playing the game.

 

But I struggled with the fact that I would talk to my friend knowing what was going on behind his back.

 

Eventually I did tell him, couldn't do it voice to voice so I did it in an email.

 

It caused a huge rift. My wife's cousin, nor my Swedish friend  refused to speak to either of us for years.

 

But ultimately it cleared the air, they figured it all out and are now happily together in Sweden for many years, and we all now talk as before.

 

Hard truths are a bitter pill to swallow and take time to resolve

Edited February 15, 2023 by GinBoy2

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, Goat said:

Which is also the aim of bargirls. They are not there for love. All about the money. YOUR money.

From what I have worked out about you, your posts and replies to me and others, it appears your a lonely guy who hasn't had much luck with women, been ripped hard as well and has nothing better to do with his life, except go looking for posters posts to try and arm himself with as much information as possible to try and attack them with information he reads.

 

Well good luck with that, you know nothing and if it were up to me, I would ban you from this forum for stalking.

 

But the easiest way to deal with you is to block you.

 

So long chump.

[Kwasaki]

3 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

From what I have worked out about you, your posts and replies to me and others, it appears your a lonely guy who hasn't had much luck with women, been ripped hard as well and has nothing better to do with his life, except go looking for posters posts to try and arm himself with as much information as possible to try and attack them with information he reads.

 

Well good luck with that, you know nothing and if it were up to me, I would ban you from this forum for stalking.

 

But the easiest way to deal with you is to block you.

 

So long chump.

Well try to forgive him he obviously hasn't met bar girls that want to marry him or want to be his mia noi.  ????

[BritManToo]

14 hours ago, Goat said:

Happy Valentines Day.

Can i guess your first marriage didnt work out? Not brutal enough?

And like 4My ego now living in Thailand with a rental type?

Yep, I'm much too nice to women.

Did it all wrong in my 1st life, wasted 30 years of my life loving and honouring my Brit wife.

Like almost every other man on this forum.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/14/2023 at 4:55 PM, 4MyEgo said:

I wouldn't call them animals, however, women in general from my experience, require a man to be a man, and if I may use the expression, "put them in their place" when needed, that is, e.g. they expect it, yes, they expect the man to wear the pants, otherwise they lose respect for their man, who in their eyes becomes a wimp, or is boring, yet at the same time they want their independence etc.

 

Make of that what you will, but you can't have your cake and eat it too, I say.

I can't believe that you are serious.

[thaibeachlovers]

15 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

So, back to the OP....

 

I think many of us have in our lives told friends bitter truths.

 

It can go many ways.

 

Mine is a rather Thai story.

 

A Swedish friend was dating a Thai lady who was related to my wife.

 

He was back in Sweden and she hooked up with an Italian guy and went on vacation there, totally unbeknown to Swedish guy.

 

She wasn't a hooker or bar girl, but just playing the game.

 

But I struggled with the fact that I would talk to my friend knowing what was going on behind his back.

 

Eventually I did tell him, couldn't do it voice to voice so I did it in an email.

 

It caused a huge rift. My wife's cousin, nor my Swedish friend  refused to speak to either of us for years.

 

But ultimately it cleared the air, they figured it all out and are now happily together in Sweden for many years, and we all now talk as before.

 

Hard truths are a bitter pill to swallow and take time to resolve

Before telling hard truths to a friend, decide if it's worth losing the friendship over, as that is the likely result.

Been there, done that, lost friends.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Yep, I'm much too nice to women.

Did it all wrong in my 1st life, wasted 30 years of my life loving and honouring my Brit wife.

Like almost every other man on this forum.

Ain't that the truth.

My first partner I was as nice as could be, bought us a house, traded in my car so she could have a flash one, supported her children financially.

So, what did I get for being nice- no sex, abuse, exploited till it got so bad I had to walk away. Even then I was nice to her in the seperation, but what did I get- even more exploitation and abuse.

All I can say is I must have been insane.

Edited February 16, 2023 by thaibeachlovers

[Hummin]

On 2/14/2023 at 10:55 AM, 4MyEgo said:

I wouldn't call them animals, however, women in general from my experience, require a man to be a man, and if I may use the expression, "put them in their place" when needed, that is, e.g. they expect it, yes, they expect the man to wear the pants, otherwise they lose respect for their man, who in their eyes becomes a wimp, or is boring, yet at the same time they want their independence etc.

 

Make of that what you will, but you can't have your cake and eat it too, I say.

Many people no matter gender is naturally a leader, maybe misunderstood as dominant. And of course the opposite exists to, as well many different fractions all combined. 

 

There is those who do not find their space who struggle, especially when trying  to dominate people when they do not naturally have the respect or authority needed.

 

Gain respect by violence and abuse physically or mentally is also a misunderstood concept.

 

 

Edited February 16, 2023 by Hummin

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/10/2023 at 12:23 PM, 4MyEgo said:

I never suggested going to Uni or having a decree makes a guy an expert on women, I said being street wise helps, in other words, being out and dating women, understanding how they tick, instead of looking at their exterior (weapon) which blinds most men, e.g. tits, rear ends etc.

 

So, what makes a man street wise? IMO a BS generalisation that means sod all when it comes to it.

 

I've "dated" women that did it on first date; would never do it till got a ring; nice women; bad women that were having it off with another guy at the same time; women that only dated me for a free dinner, or a movie; even a woman that got me to fix her car before telling me I was dumped; a woman that dumped me because I dropped in at her place of work; women that already had a boyfriend; women that took offence at the slightest non PC comment etc etc etc.

The point of the above is that they are all different and what works for one does not apply to another. Women, the great mystery.

I gave up and took the black pill.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Many people no matter gender is naturally a leader, maybe misunderstood as dominant. And of course the opposite exists to, as well many different fractions all combined. 

The problem with many women is that they confuse being aggressive with being "strong" and when they alienate men, fall back on the BS that the men are being misogynist.

I've known many strong women in nursing, but not one was aggressive.

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

So, what makes a man street wise? IMO a BS generalisation that means sod all when it comes to it.

 

I've "dated" women that did it on first date; would never do it till got a ring; nice women; bad women that were having it off with another guy at the same time; women that only dated me for a free dinner, or a movie; even a woman that got me to fix her car before telling me I was dumped; a woman that dumped me because I dropped in at her place of work; women that already had a boyfriend; women that took offence at the slightest non PC comment etc etc etc.

The point of the above is that they are all different and what works for one does not apply to another. Women, the great mystery.

I gave up and took the black pill.

Being street smart means being on top of the game with uneducated people, often outsiders, criminals, hookers, exploiters. So of you play with prostitutes you need to understand their game for not being taken for a ride. 

 

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The problem with many women is that they confuse being aggressive with being "strong" and when they alienate men, fall back on the BS that the men are being misogynist.

I've known many strong women in nursing, but not one was aggressive.

I do not think aggressive is gender related, just how men and women use their asggressivity might differ because of physical strength and mental strength 

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, Hummin said:

I do not think aggressive is gender related, just how men and women use their asggressivity might differ because of physical strength and mental strength 

Both genders can be aggressive, but IMO only women think it's a positive attribute.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Both genders can be aggressive, but IMO only women think it's a positive attribute.

Depends, but an aggressive smart controlled man can possibly protect provide for a woman and a child if you look at evolution side of it. 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Being street smart means being on top of the game with uneducated people, often outsiders, criminals, hookers, exploiters. So of you play with prostitutes you need to understand their game for not being taken for a ride. 

 

I fully understood BGs as their motivation was money, not a relationship, and I was never in love with them, ergo rationality ruled.

With relationships, emotion comes into it and emotion wins over rationality every time.

Why else would I have stuck with bad women so long, when rationality told me to get out long before I did?

[thaibeachlovers]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Depends, but an aggressive smart controlled man can possibly protect provide for a woman and a child if you look at evolution side of it. 

Took me many years and much life experience to work out why otherwise attractive and sensible women give themselves to bad, aggressive men, in preference to a beta male that will care about them.

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Took me many years and much life experience to work out why otherwise attractive and sensible women give themselves to bad, aggressive men, in preference to a beta male that will care about them.

Read your two last posts and put them together. Might need an professional to answer that question but there is reasonable answers available in books and at google.  

[thaibeachlovers]

13 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Read your two last posts and put them together. Might need an professional to answer that question but there is reasonable answers available in books and at google.  

I know why women throw themselves at aggressive men- it's genetic and for breeding children likely to survive in a hostile environment. We left the cave millennia ago, but our genes remain the same.

 

However, when it comes to relationships, I'll never understand that.

Edited February 16, 2023 by thaibeachlovers

[Hummin]

23 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I know why women throw themselves at aggressive men- it's genetic and for breeding children likely to survive in a hostile environment. We left the cave millennia ago, but our genes remain the same.

 

However, when it comes to relationships, I'll never understand that.

I believe there is many broken souls out there and search for unknown and known reasons wrong partners.

 

Why men choose wrong women in Thailand is a quite clear cocktail of emotions, everything from loneliness and want to protect someone. 

 

There is for a reason why every women (almost) you should stay away from start with a bad x and sad life story. 

 

I learned quite early to stay away from those after fighting a stepfather at the age of 17. Her real father shot him self in the bath tub home when she was 9. We stayed together until I was 21, and the stepfather managed continue ruin her life and our life causing all kinds of problems. Finely he broke in to our house when I was serving in the army, giving me army prison for no show for almost 3 days, ending with he flee to spain, which saved me from a long jail time. 

 

I always had and have a strong urge to protect, and I believe most men have the same instinct. 

Edited February 16, 2023 by Hummin

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I can't believe that you are serious.

Just ask a woman !

[BritManToo]

59 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Why men choose wrong women in Thailand is a quite clear cocktail of emotions, everything from loneliness and want to protect someone. 

I always chose women I thought I could have frequent sex with.

[Hummin]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I always chose women I thought I could have frequent sex with.

So you need no attraction, no flirting, no excitement and last the most important question, can I live with this woman without going mental?

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Many people no matter gender is naturally a leader, maybe misunderstood as dominant. And of course the opposite exists to, as well many different fractions all combined. 

Yes, from my experience, most women want a leader, not a dominant partner, but one who can stand his ground when needed, as opposed to allowing her to walk all over him.

 

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

There is those who do not find their space who struggle, especially when trying  to dominate people when they do not naturally have the respect or authority needed.

Dominance in a relationship if a recipe for disaster, that said, communication without becoming aggressive is an art, however it takes two to communicate and if one is not willing to listen openly, well, then one has to do what one has to do, and that does not include violence in any way shape or form. There are other ways of getting the message across, and that is when one has to be patient and the other side willing.

 

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Gain respect by violence and abuse physically or mentally is also a misunderstood concept.

Violence and physical abuse are to never enter a relationship as far as I am concerned, if tempers flare up, then one has to walk away, like I said before, there are ways to get your message across.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

So you need no attraction, no flirting, no excitement and last the most important question, can I live with this woman without going mental?

Obviously they would need to weigh less than 50Kg and be under 35 years old.