My husband of 48 years keeps disappearing to Thailand and sending hundreds of pounds there every month - but when I question him he says it's 'none of my business'

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, cheapcanuck said:

I fail to see how this is news?

It's fairly normal British antimale antisex propaganda.

[actonion]

He's tight lipped about where the moneys going, so how does she know the money's going to Thailand..

What's she moaning for at least he comes back ......

[Jim1000]

Take the Audi keys off him! ! 

He'll soon be back ! 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/26/2023 at 1:12 AM, HauptmannUK said:

I actually know a British guy, around 70 years old, who has been behaving like this for many years. He tells his wife he's coming to Thailand to play golf. No idea whether she believes him or not but she's still with him.

His Thai 'Mia Noi' is no spring chicken herself and definitely not a looker! He funds her to run a small shop, bought her a house, gives money to her adult son etc. Totally baffles me!  He's a retired small businessman and I guess has enough money to support the circus.

If she makes him happy, isn't that enough? I tried a real looker once and never again- can't stand women that think that being attractive makes them special.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/25/2023 at 9:52 PM, kwilco said:

I'm sure that's fine, but the comment I'm referring to has strong misogynist implications

and? Do we care about "misogynist implications"?

[RickR]

 

Without knowing the full details, its hard to say who's at fault. She could be a nagging older woman that is very demanding (which is typical of Western women, not all but in general)

 

Or she could be a good lady but has a husband that can't resist the temptation of some semi-attractive young bar lady from Isaan that would be impossible to get in England but is obtainable for £50. Bar lady tells him he is very special, she love him long time and want to build family and home with him for the future.

 

He should just end the marriage instead of playing both sides.

 

My guess he'll come to Thailand, spend his life savings to build some home in the sticks of Northeast, while his younger Thai lady shags dozens of guys just like him while he is away.

 

And say they do stay together in Thailand, she'll probably fall in love with some young Farang who ends up breaking her heart as she was just another body to him.

 

Old farang loses everything and ends up hurt as his wife. 

Young bar lady gives everything to young Farang who ends up breaking her heart.

 

Such is the cycle of the Farang and Thai Bar Lady convert to housewife in Thailand.

[Merrill]

Steady on chaps there is also the possibility that he has become Buddhist and ends money to the Wat every month. Why do women always jump to conclusions. My ex told me I was being selfish when I found her in a Jamaican Club.

[fusion58]

On 2/23/2023 at 3:04 AM, spidermike007 said:

Personally, I don't understand why he wouldn't just get a divorce.

Yeah, why get married in the first place if you're not totally down with the whole monogamy thing? I've never understood that particular mentality.

[fusion58]

Quote

...and sending hundreds of pounds there every month - but when I question him he says it's 'none of my business'

Whose money is it?

 

If he's pilfering from a joint account, then she probably has a legitimate beef.

 

If not, then he's correct in maintaining that the outlays are none of her business.

[JimTripper]

He should tell her what he is doing, or man up and exit the relationship. 

 

He can ultimately do what he wants, but not in a relationship where it bothers one party. The relationship requires full disclosure.

[Cricky]

I heard on the local radio station yesterday that a 60yo English man disappeared. 

He and his wife relocated, buying a condo in Pattaya but he left, not saying a word, just taking himself, Bank book, money etc. 

 

Pattaya now has him, he saw the light, decided the Thai Beauties were too much fun, now he's frolicking amongst the bar girls. 

 

Poor Doris, hubby's not coming back. 

 

Oh, dear, happens all too often. 

 

[xylophone]

5 hours ago, JimTripper said:

He should tell her what he is doing, or man up and exit the relationship. 

 

He can ultimately do what he wants, but not in a relationship where it bothers one party. The relationship requires full disclosure.

Yes, I think that's a sensible suggestion, however where there are things like joint property and bank accounts to consider, then it can become a different situation.

 

A friend of mine here spends six months of the year back in the UK with his wife and six months here in Thailand with his girlfriend, and he and his UK wife are "separated" but still consider their offspring and grandchildren to be important enough to maintain a relationship, not to mention their property.

 

The UK wife is okay with it, as is the Thai girlfriend, so all seems hunky-dory and even when he goes back to the UK he stays in his marital house, although I believe all "interpersonal relations" have ceased, so he seems to have worked out the perfect solution.

 

It can be done when both parties are on the same page, and indeed if it is done correctly then it can be of benefit to both parties – – I think!

[Mac Mickmanus]

3 hours ago, xylophone said:

Yes, I think that's a sensible suggestion, however where there are things like joint property and bank accounts to consider, then it can become a different situation.

 

A friend of mine here spends six months of the year back in the UK with his wife and six months here in Thailand with his girlfriend, and he and his UK wife are "separated" but still consider their offspring and grandchildren to be important enough to maintain a relationship, not to mention their property.

 

The UK wife is okay with it, as is the Thai girlfriend, so all seems hunky-dory and even when he goes back to the UK he stays in his marital house, although I believe all "interpersonal relations" have ceased, so he seems to have worked out the perfect solution.

 

It can be done when both parties are on the same page, and indeed if it is done correctly then it can be of benefit to both parties – – I think!

What about your mates wife ?

Is she is a relationship with someone else ?

[xylophone]

34 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

What about your mates wife ?

Is she is a relationship with someone else ?

No, she is happy with this arrangement.......seems to suit them both!

[JimTripper]

8 hours ago, xylophone said:

Yes, I think that's a sensible suggestion, however where there are things like joint property and bank accounts to consider, then it can become a different situation.

 

A friend of mine here spends six months of the year back in the UK with his wife and six months here in Thailand with his girlfriend, and he and his UK wife are "separated" but still consider their offspring and grandchildren to be important enough to maintain a relationship, not to mention their property.

 

The UK wife is okay with it, as is the Thai girlfriend, so all seems hunky-dory and even when he goes back to the UK he stays in his marital house, although I believe all "interpersonal relations" have ceased, so he seems to have worked out the perfect solution.

 

It can be done when both parties are on the same page, and indeed if it is done correctly then it can be of benefit to both parties – – I think!

It make appear hunky dory on the surface, but there is no fooling people. If it’s a “fake” relationship everybody knows. The kids grow up knowing something is missing.

[sidneybear]

On 3/11/2023 at 7:33 PM, RickR said:

Without knowing the full details, its hard to say who's at fault. She could be a nagging older woman that is very demanding (which is typical of Western women, not all but in general)

 

Or she could be a good lady but has a husband that can't resist the temptation of some semi-attractive young bar lady from Isaan that would be impossible to get in England but is obtainable for £50. Bar lady tells him he is very special, she love him long time and want to build family and home with him for the future.

Exactly, nobody on the outside knows what's going on inside a marriage. She could be a saint, or a dragon. He might be a charlatan, or a man at his wits end who has tried his hardest to make the marriage work and doesn't know how to end it without losing everything.

[xylophone]

12 hours ago, JimTripper said:

It make appear hunky dory on the surface, but there is no fooling people. If it’s a “fake” relationship everybody knows. The kids grow up knowing something is missing.

The point is that their children are in their 30s and approve of the situation as it makes both parents happy. No one is trying to fool anyone as it is an amicable arrangement, and also their friends know about it , so it is no secret. So IMO they have got it "sorted", and good on them for doing so.

[JimTripper]

2 hours ago, xylophone said:

The point is that their children are in their 30s and approve of the situation as it makes both parents happy. No one is trying to fool anyone as it is an amicable arrangement, and also their friends know about it , so it is no secret. So IMO they have got it "sorted", and good on them for doing so.

Sounds like their business, not mine.

[Bill97]

On 2/26/2023 at 9:26 AM, actonion said:

What's she moaning for at least he comes back ......

So she doesn’t want him to come back.