Really Wish I Hadn't Invited My Friend To Visit

[Brewster67]

Well that was a 10 days from hell I won't be wanting to repeat.

 

I invited my friend over from the UK to visit Thailand and within days of his arrival I began to regret it.

 

There is something about the British that whenever they go away, alcohol forms the central plank of their experience. Admittedly I was the same in my younger days but I am now in my late 50s and I am not here on holiday. This was a big miscalculation on my behalf. I had anticipated that I would be going out more and drinking more for the next week or so, but my friend just wanted to go out and  drink every afternoon and evening... It was a very tough experience for me I can tell you.

 

But if this wasn't bad enough, once my friend got a measure of beer into himself his behaviour changed for the worse.

 

There is a catalog of things I can write but I won't bore you, I will pick out just 2 of many examples that made me literally wince.

 

One evening when we were sat in a restaurant and he had a few beers down him, a car pulled up outside pumping loud Thai music from the stereo and the 2 occupants got out to greet a crowd of people they obviously knew. My friend looked in their direction and waved his fist in a faux masterbatory gesture and shouted Wa*k*ers, I was mortified, they definitely knew what he meant... I almost lost my mind, I had to grab his arm and pull it to the table, you just don't do that here, we could have easily ended up in the local emergency room.

 

On another occasion I took him to a regular restaurant that i use a lot, and am rather friendly with the family who run it. The matriach of the family served us and my friend obviously took a liking to her and as she walked away from the table he grabbed her butt right in front of her twenty-something son who was in the army... The look on his face, if they hadn't known me so well I think it would have been all out war.

 

You just can't do this stuff here, as you know Thai society is very conservative and polite. They will restrain themselves up to a limit but that limit is finite.

 

The British have a bad reputation abroad especially across Europe, when they step on a plane, many of them leave their brains at home. I am almost ashamed of my countrymen... Don't get me wrong, not all Brits are like this in fact the majority are not. But there are enough of them that give us this reputation that brings the whole country to shame.

 

Anyway, after I dropped him at the airport it was like a huge weight had come off my shoulders. I had to apologise to my Thai family multiple times. I won't be inviting anyone in the future unless i have had a long talk with them how to behave here.

 

I think I now need a holiday to recover from my Friend's holiday.

[CharlieH]

I empathise , having to handle a a live grenade waiting for it to explode.

The emphasis on living here and visiting somewhere is also very clear and appropriate,

 

Lesson learned, chill and relax and "business as usual" for you now he's gone.. ????????

[bignok]

Some of my friend's are embarrassing. I never met up with them in Thailand. 

[scubascuba3]

Just a poor choice of friend, do better next time and BTW you didn't have to spend much time with him, make excuses

[jvs]

2 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Just a poor choice of friend, do better next time and BTW you didn't have to spend much time with him, make excuses

People like that i make no excuses,unfriend on the spot.

I do not tolerate behaviour like that from any one!

Be a guest,act like a guest.

[Kwasaki]

Sounds to me you didn't really know him that well. 

 

I'm English and thankfully I don't have family or friends that visit me in Thailand like that. 

[Denim]

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

You did well to last the course intact. I would have taken him on a road trip to Nakorn Nowhere 'to see the real Thailand.'

[John Drake]

Now I know why so many British keep falling off balconies. 

[Brewster67]

9 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Sounds to me you didn't really know him that well. 

 

I'm English and thankfully I don't have family or friends that visit me in Thailand like that. 

That's the thing, I have known him for 30 years, back in the UK he is never like that, he only went out once or twice a week and would just sit in the bar have a few beers and chat. he has even been here before, he was here 10 years ago for my wedding and he wasn't anything like that but he was with a few others who maybe kept him grounded... He seems to have changed// I won't be inviting him back. That is for sure.

[nigelforbes]

What a horror story, my sympathies to the OP, I'm happy for you that your life has returned to normal.

 

Several years ago I offered to host my niece and her boyfriend during the Thailand leg of their gap year, round the world trip. She's an extremely intelligent girl who is now a partner in a law firm and speaks several languages. Despite trying to play the informed tourist guide role, she was convinced that virtually every Thai female she saw was a hooker and that the entire country had been given over to the sex trade, despite the fact we never even went close to any dodgy areas like lower Suckie. I tried to correct her understanding a few times but finally gave up. At the airport when I saw them off, she said she probably wouldn't return to Thailand because you just can't get away from the sex trade.

 

What can be said, people have bias and prejudices, despite apparent intelligence she turned out to be pretty stupid. 

[nigelforbes]

10 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Sounds to me you didn't really know him that well. 

 

I'm English and thankfully I don't have family or friends that visit me in Thailand like that. 

I'd visit you if you like, just so you don't feel left out. ????

[Lacessit]

Alcohol removes inhibitions, irrespective of nationality. Although some people can behave badly when stone cold sober.

I would not invite anyone here unless I knew they would not embarrass me.

[LaosLover]

I had a friend come to visit who had gone slightly mad due to covid quarantine. He got really mad at me for not texting him when we were apart and he was very OCD about food. When people have an anxiety problem, you have to go with it. Confronting them just creates a bigger problem.

 

He asked a restaurant if they could do his pasta in unsalted water.  He was willing to explain the concept at length to the Thai waitress.

 

He's an extreme diabetic who shouldn't drink at all, and yet every meal was a series of blood tests first to determine if he could order a glass of Pinot without dying. 120 minutes later, another blood bath.

 

He wanted a salad buffet so that "he could control the amount of chick peas going into his salad". I asked: "What about the new invention called your mouth?".

 

He ordered a salad with chick peas on the side. He felt that they didn't give him enough. "You see, you see? That's what I'm talking about by CONTROL!", he denounced. He was denouncing me too. I get it.

 

But we go back to '92; 'can't really fire him. Def time for a downgrade tho. Call it every other year. At most.

[still kicking]

40 minutes ago, bignok said:

Some of my friend's are embarrassing. I never met up with them in Thailand. 

I am OK I don't have any friends 

[proton]

Thais can be just as bad abroad. Took the Mrs to see friends in NZ 10 years ago for a month, her moods and strops still get mentioned when I see my friends, she has never been invited since. Still cannot really understand the bad behaviour, she claimed home sickness! 

[LaosLover]

On the flip side, I once took my hillbilly mother in law to a nice hotel.

 

When we got off the elevator, there was a little couch.

 

She thought that it was her room and started to unpack.

[norfolkandchance]

Glad I missed you in the Monkey Bar.

[LaosLover]

21 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Alcohol removes inhibitions, irrespective of nationality. Although some people can behave badly when stone cold sober.

I would not invite anyone here unless I knew they would not embarrass me.

This is where having pothead friends is a giant step up.

 

They may vague-out, but they're never going to cause a scene.

[Kwasaki]

32 minutes ago, nigelforbes said:

I'd visit you if you like, just so you don't feel left out. ????

 

Please ya self.

I don't feel left out of anything like that, if a person I knew did start getting out of hand or disrespectful whilst in my company I would put a stop to it. 

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

I would tell him one: Don't do that!

And I would also tell him: If you ever misbehave again when we are out together, I will walk away and leave you alone.

If that doesn't work, walk away!

 

I have to admit when I arrived in Thailand many years ago, I thought I am in the wild west.

Just one example: I danced with my then Thai gogo "gf" on the stage in her bar. I thought that is great, we had so much fun...

In the hindsight that was just stupid, but all together still harmless.

Some people still think they are far from home and can do whatever they want. They have to learn. And fast!

[nigelforbes]

3 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

 

Please ya self.

I don't feel left out of anything like that, if a person I knew did start getting out of hand or disrespectful whilst in my company I would put a stop to it. 

 

 

Me too, it's probably happy slap time.

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

9 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

On the flip side, I once took my hillbilly mother in law to a nice hotel.

 

When we got off the elevator, there was a little couch.

 

She thought that it was her room and started to unpack.

 

[KhunLA]

That behavior (in OP) would have been inappropriate, anywhere, anytime.

 

Extremely lucking he didn't end up in the ER.  

[Andre0720]

Next time be careful with some of these people who do not have a College or University degree.. Unpredictable.. Some, of course, some....

[Fat is a type of crazy]

I suppose the issue is did you bring it to his attention. If not why not. If yes did he simply ignore you. It might have taken a few words, tell him about etiquette and that you are not into drinking as much now, and he might have been fine after that.  

[UWEB]

 

[bkk6060]

No worries OP you tried, but unfortunately sounds like typical behavior of the UK visitors I have met lately.

[bob smith]

1 hour ago, still kicking said:

I am OK I don't have any friends 

'We all need friends here... I could be a friend to you...'

[Eloquent pilgrim]

2 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

There is a catalog of things I can write but I won't bore you

Too late ... 

[JensenZ]

I don't think this type of behaviour is British behaviour. I'm Australian, and wouldn't like to host Australian friends who spend most of their vacations in Thailand getting wasted. It's actually the specific reason why I hated Bali. Too many drunk Australians in one place is bad news.