I think I completely missed the point about (not) having kids

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

although OP is only 50yrs old,  when the child is 10 .... he'll be 60 ...  then when the teen is 16 and still enjoys the excursions with mum & dad he'll be 66yrs old ...  and that is getting on a little, and when he's 20, dad will be 70yrs old ....

And all this time you never revealed your math wizardry.... 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

How do poor people have kids then?

They have them, and then it seems many of them don't care much about them.

Bad school, if they go to school at all, bad parenting, sometimes bad food.

Yes, the kids grow up, somehow, but often with mental problems and no education.

Yes, in theory that is a life, but personally I would be ashamed if I would have kids and then can't afford for them to go to an at least half decent school.

[bignok]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

They have them, and then it seems many of them don't care much about them.

Bad school, if they go to school at all, bad parenting, sometimes bad food.

Yes, the kids grow up, somehow, but often with mental problems and no education.

Yes, in theory that is a life, but personally I would be ashamed if I would have kids and then can't afford for them to go to an at least half decent school.

Lots of billionaires dropped out of Uni and went to an average school.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

would be ashamed if I would have kids and then can't afford for them to go to an at least half decent school.

Good schools produce average earners. 

[OneMoreFarang]

22 minutes ago, bignok said:

Lots of billionaires dropped out of Uni and went to an average school.

Next you will write about the life of the average billionaire...

How many of them do you know?

And from how many do you know their life story? 

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Good schools produce average earners. 

And bad schools produce most of the time minimum wage earners. 

[BritManToo]

16 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And bad schools produce most of the time minimum wage earners. 

Not at all true,

I went to an awful secondary modern school in the UK,

Ended up earning so much money I couldn't spend it every year.

 

My UK daughter attended one of the worst schools in the UK is now primary pharmacist at a top London hospital. She earns a shed load of money.

 

My Thai daughter who attended a Thai government school (now 24), has a decent career in logistics 20k + accommodation.

 

My niece who attended government school in Nan (now 26), is regional manager for Lotus, 25k + car.

 

If you had children you would understand it's the kids drive and desire to achieve that earns them money. If they have no drive and desire, they will drift, get pregnant, take drugs.

 

Edited May 11, 2023 by BritManToo

[bkk6060]

Good and bad about kids.  There are windows of enjoyable time. Babies for me were not fun.  Teenagers can be real AH and extend it to College and they want money.  Then, they get married and are mostly too busy to see you.  If from a place like the U.S., most kids put their old parents in a home they don't want to take care of them.

 

[KhunLA]

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

anymore, meaning you don't love her? what did she do to deserve such a fate? 

 

or any more, meaning you love her a lot? 

oops ... ????

... any more than I already do 

[JayClay]

@op 

 

Honestly, to me it just seems like you want kids because you're bored and want something to do. I would say not only is that a pretty terrible reason to have kids, you're only kicking the can down the road and once they've grown up and flown the nest you'll be back to square one and trying to figure out what to do with your new found spare time. Only at 70 it may be much more difficult to find a new hobby or interest to engage in.

[Celsius]

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My niece who attended government school in Nan (now 26), is regional manager for Lotus, 25k + car.

 

Jesus Christ that is a low salary for a regional manager. Truly despicable actually,

[OneMoreFarang]

33 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Not at all true,

I went to an awful secondary modern school in the UK,

Ended up earning so much money I couldn't spend it every year.

 

My UK daughter attended one of the worst schools in the UK is now primary pharmacist at a top London hospital. She earns a shed load of money.

 

My Thai daughter who attended a Thai government school (now 24), has a decent career in logistics 20k + accommodation.

 

My niece who attended government school in Nan (now 26), is regional manager for Lotus, 25k + car.

 

If you had children you would understand it's the kids drive and desire to achieve that earns them money. If they have no drive and desire, they will drift, get pregnant, take drugs.

 

Great for you.

 

Maybe you know other kids from those schools. Did they all get decent jobs?

Or are what you describe exceptions?

 

What I hear from ordinary Thai schools is bad or worse. But maybe I just have the wrong sources. 

 

 

 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

My Wife and I having our Son is something that I never have or never could look upon with the slightest hint or doubt...  He’s amazing and we’re an awesome family unit who travel everywhere together and have great fun. 

There’s been a lot of groundwork to mould a young man of character and now we can go to any restaurant, travel to any location (that is personal safe) and we can enjoy ourselves as a family... be that spending all day together on mountain (skiing), a beach, chilling at home or by the pool etc...  

 

I don’t get those who suggest having kids is selfish, I just dont see it that way. 

The only manner in which I can understand such comments is that IF their childhood was so disappointing or even negative that they project all others might be, that is certainly not the case. 

 

One thing is for sure: As ‘onemorefarang' mentioned - Kids are damned expensive... but so are a lot of things that a really enjoyable !!... 

 

One thing that has not been mentioned, the underlying persistent fear for their safety and the self knowledge that we have to stand back so they can learn....  and then of course, simply hoping we are doing things right so they don’t hate us in their teens !!! 

 

[EVENKEEL]

3 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

It may not be a popular narrative but children are for young people. Some countries will not do in-vitro for first time potential mothers if they are 40 or over. 

My mother was 44 and pops was 54 when I was born. Ala naturale.

[Kwasaki]

11 minutes ago, JayClay said:

@op 

 

Honestly, to me it just seems like you want kids because you're bored and want something to do. I would say not only is that a pretty terrible reason to have kids, you're only kicking the can down the road and once they've grown up and flown the nest you'll be back to square one and trying to figure out what to do with your new found spare time. Only at 70 it may be much more difficult to find a new hobby or interest to engage in.

At 70 you can do many things to interest your day.

Why do so many people think 70 is old these days. 

[JayClay]

Just now, Kwasaki said:

At 70 you can do many things to interest your day.

Why do so many people think 70 is old these days. 

I didn't say you couldn't do many things or that 70 was old.

 

I said it may be more difficult to find new interests. He may have medical issues. Or he may not have enough money because he's spent it all raising a child, as just two examples.

 

The point I was trying to make is that if boredom is in fact the OPs real issue, then if he focuses his mind on the that problem, he's got more chance of finding new interests now than he does in 20 years time.

 

Why do so many people think it's not important to properly read a sentence before they take offence?

[Captain Monday]

Breeding, a mugs game.

[KhunLA]

2 hours ago, steven100 said:

i think there are two issue to consider here .....  I see adoption as just an excuse to fill a void in someone life,  it's kinda like you want a new toy so some go down the adoption road,  the other issue is age .... although OP is only 50yrs old,  when the child is 10 .... he'll be 60 ...  then when the teen is 16 and still enjoys the excursions with mum & dad he'll be 66yrs old ...  and that is getting on a little, and when he's 20, dad will be 70yrs old ....    not that any of this is wrong .....   just a couple of points to consider ..

Don't know about filling a void, how about just doing something good, if financially and mentally able to.  Retired, so had the time and the money.

 

After I threw the kid's (2yr old), mother out, I kept the kid.  Mother never came back for her, and MIA all the time.   Either keep the kid to fill that void ????  ...  Or get a dog, and since the kid was already house broken, seemed like a no brainer ????

 

While I played single parent, grandpa/ma would take for the weekend, so I could get my freak on, not knowing they were mentally abusing her, and for some reason, enjoy telling her "nobody loves you" until she literally cried.  

 

No wonder she cut all ties with them, and adopted us last year.   Anyway, after I stopped letting them watch her, she still would cry herself to sleep, since nobody 'loved her'.   Of course I did, told her so, and told her, I always will and would always be there for her.   

 

Damn ... how do you break that promise to a wee one.  22yrs later, Uni grad, and definitely the best thing that ever happen, or I ever stuck with.

 

Anyone that is that intelligent, and can make me laugh that much ...

... I'm keeping ????

 

Never wanted kids, and definitely had no plans on having one, prior to or after retiring at 45 yrs old.  Now 68 and wouldn't change a thing.   Am glad I never had one before, as selfishly enjoyed my single, irresponsible, extra money in the pocket life, without kids. 

 

Never had the maturity, time or money to raise a kid properly in the USA IMHO, or would consider any women I knew, mother material.  Inconvenient disaster waiting to happen, so best avoided.

[EVENKEEL]

If you want a kid find a side interest and have one, long as you got the funds for both households.

[IvorBiggun2]

1 minute ago, Captain Monday said:

Breeding, a mugs game.

So both your parents were mugs were they?

[richard_smith237]

8 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

At 70 you can do many things to interest your day.

Why do so many people think 70 is old these days. 

Erm... because it is !!! 

 

Sorry if that hurts some sensitives, but thats just the way it is. 

 

That doesn’t mean that life can’t be enjoyed.... But it doesn’t mean 70 is not old. 

 

And... having kids at 70 yrs old...  is a bit unfair on the kid in my opinion, but thats all it is, just an opinion.

 

[EVENKEEL]

2 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

Don't know about filling a void, how about just doing something good, if financially and mentally able to.  Retired, so had the time and the money.

 

After I threw the kid's (2yr old), mother out, I kept the kid.  Mother never came back for her, and MIA all the time.   Either keep the kid to fill that void ????  ...  Or get a dog, and since the kid was already house broken, seemed like a no brainer ????

 

While I played single parent, grandpa/ma would take for the weekend, so I could get my freak on, not knowing they were mentally abusing her, and for some reason, enjoy telling her "nobody loves you" until she literally cried.  

 

No wonder she cut all ties with them, and adopted us last year.   Anyway, after I stopped letting them watch her, she still would cry herself to sleep, since nobody 'loved her'.   Of course I did, told her so, and told her, I always will and would always be there for her.   

 

Damn ... how do you break that promise to a wee one.  22yrs later, Uni grad, and definitely the best thing that ever happen, or I ever stuck with.

 

Anyone that is that intelligent, and can make me laugh that much ...

... I'm keeping ????

 

Never wanted kids, and definitely had no plans on having one, prior to or after retiring at 45 yrs old.  Now 68 and wouldn't change a thing.   Am glad I never had one before, as selfishly enjoyed my single, irresponsible, extra money in the pocket life, without kids. 

 

Never had the maturity, time or money to raise a kid properly in the USA IMHO, or would consider any women I knew, mother material.  Inconvenient disaster waiting to happen, so best avoided.

At 65 it's pretty neat sitting around talking about old times with my 39 yr old kid. The good times and the bad. Now I have an 11 yr old in Thailand and I'd be lost without the responsibility. 

[EVENKEEL]

5 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Erm... because it is !!! 

 

Sorry if that hurts some sensitives, but thats just the way it is. 

 

That doesn’t mean that life can’t be enjoyed.... But it doesn’t mean 70 is not old. 

 

And... having kids at 70 yrs old...  is a bit unfair on the kid in my opinion, but thats all it is, just an opinion.

 

Deniro had a kid at 79 ahahahaa. yeah 70 is pushing it having a kid, if you're actually going to be part of the kid's life.

[KhunLA]

1 minute ago, EVENKEEL said:

At 65 it's pretty neat sitting around talking about old times with my 39 yr old kid. The good times and the bad. Now I have an 11 yr old in Thailand and I'd be lost without the responsibility. 

My dog fills the void of daughter, since not living nearby, PKK vs BKK.  Got to have someone/thing to talk to and make you laugh.

 

Heading to BKK next week,  daughter having free time.  Try to squeeze in a visit monthly.   Chit chattin' on FB is fine, but not the same, like having dinner or lounging around, watching a movie together.  

[KhunLA]

7 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Deniro had a kid at 79 ahahahaa. yeah 70 is pushing it having a kid, if you're actually going to be part of the kid's life.

I consider that, kid @ 79 completely irresponsible.  Kids need more than financial stability, and almost guaranteed the kid will feel the loss of his father at a very young age.  Or watch his mental state deteriorate even more than it already is ????

[scubascuba3]

I'm happy about not having kids, had a vasectomy a couple years ago to make sure.

 

No guarantee your wife or kids will want to stick around when you need looking after in old age or with illness

[1FinickyOne]

43 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Why do so many people think 70 is old these days.

They start having illnesses. They tire more easily especially in the hot weather... I bumped into an old friend who I had not seen in a few years. She used to be 2" shorter than I am. Now we are the same height...

 

Friends start dropping by the wayside, some lose their ability to reason and remember... hearing might be starting to fade, though maybe that is just people speaking more softly, and masked, food just doesn't taste as good as it used to... people are less considerate and more outlandish... 

 

And for many - "Their bills are all due and the baby needs shoes and their busted... cotton is down to a quarter a pound and their busted... " or so sings Ray Charles [and look what happened to him] 

[1FinickyOne]

1 minute ago, scubascuba3 said:

I'm happy about not having kids, had a vasectomy a couple years ago to make sure.

 

No guarantee your wife or kids will want to stick around when you need looking after in old age or with illness

especially so if someone is is selfish and has a bad attitude and temper as the kids might end up hating them. Haters breed hatred. 

[scubascuba3]

15 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

especially so if someone is is selfish and has a bad attitude and temper as the kids might end up hating them. Haters breed hatred. 

I have a great attitude that would never be an issue

[Kwasaki]

1 hour ago, JayClay said:

I didn't say you couldn't do many things or that 70 was old.

 

I said it may be more difficult to find new interests. He may have medical issues. Or he may not have enough money because he's spent it all raising a child, as just two examples.

 

The point I was trying to make is that if boredom is in fact the OPs real issue, then if he focuses his mind on the that problem, he's got more chance of finding new interests now than he does in 20 years time.

 

Why do so many people think it's not important to properly read a sentence before they take offence?

Fair call and no offense taken.