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do u guys usually smile to the staff / waiters when u go buy / eat / shop ?


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Posted (edited)
On 6/14/2023 at 6:16 AM, bluebanana said:

I am  not trolling , , I have been here awhile and even when i go out with my thai friends to eat , I notice they dont really smile at service staff , which in turn make me feel its normal just to show a poker ( normal ) face when ordering food .

 

Maybe its just me that i dont smile. But i thnk i should try. cos sometimes when I do smile I will get a smile in return.

 

Pardon me again for those who feel that I am trying to troll. cos when i frist came here to thailand I felt that almost everyone is smiling . but or its just me that been here for a while and feel that its normal not to smile at strangers .

 

anyyway I really appreciate all the replie.s 

 

 

I have noticed the same in observing Thais over the years outside of tourist areas. Many, excepting the men chatting up the pretty things pouring their beer, hardly look at or interact with waiting or supermarket checkout staff. They just place their orders or pay at supermarket checkout otherwise totally ignoring them (unless they know them personally). The latter without even any eye contact. And sometimes it is as if waiting staff expect to be treated like this adopting a grovelly disposition and seem flustered if you smile and attempt to interact with them and scuttle off not knowing how to respond. Or occasionally young staff do the opposite adopting a condescending slightly mocking  attitude as if to say 'How dare you ask about the menu in a friendly manner! Dont you know this is not done in Thailand! I have concluded that it is a normal part of 'Traditional' Thai culture. I say 'Traditional' as I think it is the older and perhaps wealthier generation that I have noticed most ('nouveu riche' comes to mind). Maybe this is changing with the younger generations coming through. It could be a residue of the Indian Caste system as Thai culture and Buddhism evolved out of Hinduism and these kinds of class/caste attitudes and behaviour are sadly still alive and well in India.

 

Regardless of this, my cultural and personal disposition is to try to be friendly and polite and treat all people as equals regardless of there role in life. I will not change this behaviour just to fit in with Traditional Thai culture.

Edited by SunsetT
  • Like 1
Posted
On 6/14/2023 at 12:16 PM, bluebanana said:

I am  not trolling , , I have been here awhile and even when i go out with my thai friends to eat , I notice they dont really smile at service staff , which in turn make me feel its normal just to show a poker ( normal ) face when ordering food .

 

Maybe its just me that i dont smile. But i thnk i should try. cos sometimes when I do smile I will get a smile in return.

 

Pardon me again for those who feel that I am trying to troll. cos when i frist came here to thailand I felt that almost everyone is smiling . but or its just me that been here for a while and feel that its normal not to smile at strangers .

 

anyyway I really appreciate all the replie.s 

 

 

Please define "a while" ????????

Posted
On 6/14/2023 at 12:16 PM, bluebanana said:

I am  not trolling , , I have been here awhile and even when i go out with my thai friends to eat , I notice they dont really smile at service staff , which in turn make me feel its normal just to show a poker ( normal ) face when ordering food .

 

Maybe its just me that i dont smile. But i thnk i should try. cos sometimes when I do smile I will get a smile in return.

 

Pardon me again for those who feel that I am trying to troll. cos when i frist came here to thailand I felt that almost everyone is smiling . but or its just me that been here for a while and feel that its normal not to smile at strangers .

 

anyyway I really appreciate all the replie.s 

 

 

And why do think it's a Thailand thang? I just smile cause I like people and find I get back what I give. Smile begets smile arseholery begets arseholery... 

  • Like 1
Posted

I smile all day long to whomever. Even the wind  lowing in the air. Question is why would.you not?

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Posted

Yes, it doesn't hurt. If they were American saying 'have a nice day' then I wouldn't, not sure if that is a command or a threat, whatever it's superficial and stupid. Here you can actually have a short chat with them even at the checkout in Tesco's.

  • Like 1
Posted
On 6/13/2023 at 8:53 PM, bogs smith said:

No.

 

I snarl and tell them to get lost.

Great advice.

 

Do it preferably after you receive the meal. 

Posted
On 6/14/2023 at 1:48 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

maybe they understand that they are people too. Old, ugly, they still have feelings and if a smile makes them feel good and appreciated as a person - why not? 

 

Most of us are no longer young and handsome - - but we can be friendly and respond to it. 

Speak for yourself .. I'm very hansum man ... Judging by the unsolicited greetings I receive as I go about my daily business lol ????????

  • Haha 1
Posted
On 6/14/2023 at 3:55 AM, Kenny202 said:

Yet another inane post with someone taking a poll pondering the most inane subject. Must be 20 per day now. There are clearly some very bored people out there trolling for attention. 

Yep and 4,871 posts proving that boredom is not one of your problems. Give the guy a break. There are plenty of things that people want opinions on and that shouldn't be labled as inane. 

 

In answer to the original question, yes, always polite, say thankyou and tip for good service. I have witnessed some mongrol behaviour by expats towards Thai staff in varying establishments over the last 30 years and that is just not cool.

  • Love It 1
Posted
On 6/14/2023 at 1:55 AM, Kenny202 said:

Yet another inane post with someone taking a poll pondering the most inane subject. Must be 20 per day now. There are clearly some very bored people out there trolling for attention. 

Got out of bed on the wrong side today?

Posted
On 6/17/2023 at 2:07 PM, SunsetT said:

I have noticed the same in observing Thais over the years outside of tourist areas. Many, excepting the men chatting up the pretty things pouring their beer, hardly look at or interact with waiting or supermarket checkout staff. They just place their orders or pay at supermarket checkout otherwise totally ignoring them (unless they know them personally). The latter without even any eye contact. And sometimes it is as if waiting staff expect to be treated like this adopting a grovelly disposition and seem flustered if you smile and attempt to interact with them and scuttle off not knowing how to respond.

Thais treating each other this way is one of the instances where a foreign observer can see with his own eyes, how hierarchical Thai society is to this day.

 

It becomes a lot worse when real class differences are at play.

 

In a sense it is a lucky circumstance for me, that I as a foreigner in most situations simply fall outside this structure, so Thais are generally motivated to be welcoming and friendly due to this alone.

 

And smiling back obviously has never hurt anybody, so I try to do it as much as possible (my grumpy German nature notwithstanding).

 

It erodes exactly those ingrained worries about status and leaves everbody relaxed right from the start of the encounter (see the complexity how deep one Thai might need to wai to the other depening on age, status, influence, etc.).

  • Like 1
Posted
On 6/17/2023 at 1:57 PM, Neeranam said:

Are you talking to yourself?

 

No, to the member who responds with the 'confused' icon to many many posts, with seemingly no reason to be confused.

Posted (edited)
On 6/13/2023 at 10:18 PM, stoner said:

a smile and a little kindness can go a long way. 

What does a smile have to do with kindness? You can be kind without smiling. When I give money to poor people, I don't smile. In fact I don't smile at all in Thailand and there's no need to, but I'm still friendly and kind to strangers. I maintain a neutral expression. Most staff in restauarants would prefer a tip to a smile anyway.

Edited by JensenZ
Posted
7 hours ago, scorecard said:

No, to the member who responds with the 'confused' icon to many many posts, with seemingly no reason to be confused.

I wonder why they made the confused anonymous. 

  • Confused 1
Posted

When I said I smile at everybody I meant everybody. As soon as our eyes lock I smile I get a smile in return 95% of he time. Very few ignore me.

  • Like 1
Posted
23 hours ago, scorecard said:

Yes means what?

If your read the header to this thread: "do u guys usually smile to the staff / waiters when u go buy / eat / shop ?" – then it's an answer...:thumbsup:

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