Is England good enough?

[bignok]

4 hours ago, sipi said:

After dating my wife for quite some time we decided to get married. Before the ceremony I told her "sweetheart, there's something I need to explain that I've been hiding from you. I'm crazy about golf. I play golf every weekend and watch every game on tv"

She said "that's ok sweetheart. There's something I need to explain that I've been hiding from you. I'm a hooker"

I said "that's ok sweetheart. When you're teeing off keep your left arm straight and your eye on the ball"

Doesnt make sense.

[TigerandDog]

16 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Please explain the above!

I read a post that does not explain what it is about!

The responses do no better.

I ask a simple question and get meaningless answers.

Is this some secret society gathering?

They're talking about the current cricket test series between England and Australia.

[TigerandDog]

16 hours ago, Liquorice said:

Cricket, England v Australia - the Ashes.

# You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
# Each man that's in the side that's in the field goes out and when he's out comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
# When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.
# When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
# Sometimes, there are men still in and not out.
# There are men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
# Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, no matter if they're in or out.
# When both sides have been in and all the men are out (including those who are not out), then the game is finished

 

????

that'll confuse him even more.

[TigerandDog]

13 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

Rounders?

get a life and lighten up!

they're not bowlers, they're pitchers even though they pitch underarm.

[NoshowJones]

What are you talking about?

[TigerandDog]

39 minutes ago, bignok said:

Doesnt make sense.

yes it does, but for the uneducated, in golf if a right handed golfer hits a shot that curves largely right o left that a hook and if it's done on a regular basis that golfer is known as a hooker. The husband's reply to his wife is based on teh golf definition of a hooker, NOT the other definition. Do you understand now?

[Neeranam]

19 hours ago, Goat said:

After England choked up the first test in a comedy of errors, the way the second test is now looks like being a draw.

 

Are they good enough to win a game or is, as Kevin Pieterson says, the English bowling line up too slow and timid?

 

The only thing I see from stopping this being a 5-0 whitewash to the Aussies again is the miserable English weather. 

The only test match I've seen was when England were whitewashed, so maybe they are rubbish. 

I was in Calcutta 1992/3.

[Lokie]

Of course hooker is an Americanism for a Prostitute, apparently named after one 'General Hooker' in the American Civil War, who could always be found enjoying himself in 'Houses of ill-repute' 

 

Cricket - As an Englishman I never got it? still don't, as said: Paint, Dry, Boring... 

[Lacessit]

Judging by the brain farts the Poms had on day 3, they may be hoping for more rain.

The funniest one was Stuart Broad, yelling for a review of the umpire's decision ( a bad one ) when England had run out of reviews.

[Lacessit]

Cricket is well known for sledging. IMO this is the best one:

Eddo Brandes v Glenn McGrath

After Zimbabwean Brandes played and missed a Glenn McGrath delivery, the towering Aussie quick enquired: “Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?”

The immediacy of Brandes' reply had Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke in stitches in the slips: “Because every time I sleep with your wife, she gives me a biscuit”

 

[scottiejohn]

3 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

Watching paint dry and cricket are neck and neck in the boring race, followed closely with watching grass grow  

At least after the paint has dried and the grass has grown your are left with something useful!

[bignok]

2 hours ago, TigerandDog said:

yes it does, but for the uneducated, in golf if a right handed golfer hits a shot that curves largely right o left that a hook and if it's done on a regular basis that golfer is known as a hooker. The husband's reply to his wife is based on teh golf definition of a hooker, NOT the other definition. Do you understand now?

Still doesn't make sense. You say I have a bad hook not I'm a hooker. Hooker means prostitute.

 

Do you understand now?

[bignok]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Cricket is well known for sledging. IMO this is the best one:

Eddo Brandes v Glenn McGrath

After Zimbabwean Brandes played and missed a Glenn McGrath delivery, the towering Aussie quick enquired: “Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?”

The immediacy of Brandes' reply had Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke in stitches in the slips: “Because every time I sleep with your wife, she gives me a biscuit”

 

Very childish.

[blazes]

4 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

Watching paint dry and cricket are neck and neck in the boring race, followed closely with watching grass grow  

Followed by American "football"...a game that nominally lasts for 60 minutes but tends to go on for 4 hours or so, even on viciously cold days.

[TigerandDog]

43 minutes ago, bignok said:

Still doesn't make sense. You say I have a bad hook not I'm a hooker. Hooker means prostitute.

 

Do you understand now?

Did you actually read everything I wrote? Obviously not. Go back and read everything this time, especially the part where I refer to a golfer that hooks his shots on a regular basis is known in golf parlance as a hooker. Then you might understand why your comment is that of someone who only partially reads what is written before replying. DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?

Edited July 1, 2023 by TigerandDog

[bignok]

10 minutes ago, TigerandDog said:

are you really that thick. Go back and read what I wrote

 

I read it. It's nonsense.

[goldenbrwn1]

Why is everyone even entertaining the OP’s loaded dumb question? He hates the Brits (esp the English) with a passion and goes out of his way to put them down at every opportunity and not in a bantering way I might add. 

[scottiejohn]

30 minutes ago, TigerandDog said:

Did you actually read everything I wrote? Obviously not. Go back and read everything this time, especially the part where I refer to a golfer that hooks his shots on a regular basis is known in golf parlance as a hooker. Then you might understand why your comment is that of someone who only partially reads what is written before replying. DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?

There is no point continuing your discussion with that poster.  He is always right! (according to himself and no facts will change that)

[RocketDog]

Well, it seems good enough for the English.

Folks from other countries might have a different opinion.

(ask a silly question, you get a silly answer)

 

[bignok]

English keeper couldn't catch a cold

[bignok]

3 hours ago, goldenbrwn1 said:

Why is everyone even entertaining the OP’s loaded dumb question? He hates the Brits (esp the English) with a passion and goes out of his way to put them down at every opportunity and not in a bantering way I might add. 

Australia looks good for 2 nil. Anderson 40yo. Keeper can't catch. Baseball batting.

 

Crazy stuff.

[goldenbrwn1]

18 hours ago, bignok said:

Australia looks good for 2 nil. Anderson 40yo. Keeper can't catch. Baseball batting.

 

Crazy stuff.

Yeh England are playing their usual part. The Aussies have a decent dogged test outfit not great but England imo are not good at all right now. But do you really think the OP cares about cricket?? But here we are giving him attention for his British bigotry….

[bignok]

2 hours ago, goldenbrwn1 said:

Yeh England are playing their usual part. The Aussies have a decent dogged test outfit not great but England imo are not good at all right now. But do you really think the OP cares about cricket?? But here we are giving him attention for his British bigotry….

The 3rd umpire helped them. Awful decision.

[Pink Mist]

Off-topic posts, troll posts and replies have been removed.  Stay civil.  If you do not have an interest in the OP don't post nonsense.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

rather disgraceful

Daryll Cullinan v Shane Warne

Warne was left red-faced after informing South African batsmen Cullinan as he made his way to the crease, “I’ve been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate you”.

Cullinan’s response? “Looks like you spent it eating”.

 

 

[bignok]

7 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Daryll Cullinan v Shane Warne

Warne was left red-faced after informing South African batsmen Cullinan as he made his way to the crease, “I’ve been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate you”.

Cullinan’s response? “Looks like you spent it eating”.

 

 

Then Cullinan got out

[Baht Simpson]

On 7/1/2023 at 12:37 PM, Lacessit said:

Cricket is well known for sledging. IMO this is the best one:

Eddo Brandes v Glenn McGrath

After Zimbabwean Brandes played and missed a Glenn McGrath delivery, the towering Aussie quick enquired: “Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?”

The immediacy of Brandes' reply had Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke in stitches in the slips: “Because every time I sleep with your wife, she gives me a biscuit”

 

My favourite is when Phil Tufnell was at the crease and one of the Aussie slip fielders shouted out "Hey Phil, can you lend me your brain, I'm building an idiot?"

[bignok]

Disgraceful booing. Broad whinging. Pathetic.

[carlyai]

Misery over soon.

Sorry   hehe

[Seppius]

30 minutes ago, carlyai said:

Misery over soon.

Sorry   hehe

Are you sure? England putting up a good late finish