Would you ever marry a bar girl? If so, why?

[brewsterbudgen]

To quote Hannibal Lecter, "you covet what you see".  If you're a barfly and spend a lot of time barfining women in gogos and bars, eventually you're likely to get tired of it and maybe find a girl that you have a connection with. Whether you marry them or not depends on many factors.  

 

But if you're not of the "monger" persuasion, it's highly unlikely you'll meet a decent bargirl let alone marry one!

Edited August 7, 2023 by brewsterbudgen

[fredwiggy]

30 minutes ago, Goat said:

Bob, I think you are expecting too much from them.

If they were smart they wouldnt be bargirls in the first place.

 

Even if they were not smart but hard working they wouldnt be a bargirl.

Being a bargirl is a job for the unintelligent and lazy.

I agreed with your earlier post to Bob, about the mental illnesses, why some choose hookers over normal women, but here I disagree. Many bar girls are coming from abusive backgrounds where their own relatives did a number on them and it didn't have to do with intelligence. A mental illness, yes, because of the pain they suffered as children, but not because they are dense or lazy. And many are forced into it by sick human traffickers and do it out of fear. Some are pushed by disturbed parents and made to feel guilty if they don't sell their bodies to pay their parents bills. Some very intelligent women become prostitutes because of the former abuses, and stay with it, making their own money and able to afford good cars and condos, not using pimps because they know the outcome, being freelancers and keeping the profits. I've seen this back in the US, where a friend was a friend with a prostitute and told me about her lifestyle. She had a nicer car than anyone we knew, and lived in a nice apartment in NYC.

[Kwasaki]

27 minutes ago, Goat said:

So worth about 10 million baht?

That is 10,000+ loads of cum she has taken?

Or she went more the gold digging route?

 

There are always some exceptions, but most are there because they have no money.

They are still human beings whether you like it or not and have a choice to do with there life as they wish.

 

Men make make me laugh as it's ok for them to go with many women as they can but it's not OK for women. 

 

I know 3 more who have Europe and English husbands, one of the reasons why they were working a bar and hoping exactly that would happen.

 

I would say there's at least 5 reason for many of the girls that take up that kind of work.

[Expat68]

I have lived/visited Thailand for well over 30 years. Many people on here think just because the lady works in the bar she is bad (granted some are). The ladies who are teachers, nurses and government workers can be equally as bad. I know many who worked in the entertainment business when they were younger to sponsor their education because there parents did not have the money.

[animalmagic]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:29 AM, bob smith said:

I just dont get it.

 

There are OTHER girls in Thailand that are fit for marriage that happen to not work in a bar.

Why do you care? It's not your life.

[kingstonkid]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:12 AM, bob smith said:

me neither buddy. me neither.

There are bar girls that want the bar money.  There are a lot of ladies in bars that understand that their time is starting to wane and that they are getting older and the yonger ones are getting cuter.

The ones that are smart are looking for a man to look after them and be their husbands/sugar daddy.

One has to remember that a lot of the bar girls have family or kids that they are supporting back home therefore they need the money.

 

Would I marry a bargirl and not expect to either give her money on a monthly basis to spend as she wanted? No

But if I did the I would not be surprised if she carried on workng.

 

A lot of it depends on what you are looking for in the relationship.

To me when I dated bargilrs the part that hurt was the fact that to go out at night or go away was a pain.

 

[bignok]

1 hour ago, Goat said:

So worth about 10 million baht?

That is 10,000+ loads of cum she has taken?

Or she went more the gold digging route?

 

There are always some exceptions, but most are there because they have no money.

Lot

[bignok]

9 minutes ago, animalmagic said:

Why do you care? It's not your life.

Bogs is bored and lonely.

[animalmagic]

3 minutes ago, bignok said:

Bogs is bored and lonely.

Needs to find a bar girl wife? That'll keep him busy.

[Tanlic]

I have freinds who married Bar girls and have been togrher for up to 20 years. Sure there are some real lying slags out there but only the desperate and the dumbest guys are taken in by them. Rule number one if you get involved is visit the parents and if you get the want want want impression you have most likely backed the wrong horse. There are many many good girls who fall head over heels with farang and would die for them but you must be at leasst be able to support them especially if they have a child. If you can't make end meets she will by any means possible even if it breaks her heart to do it. Never forget most girls end up in bars because they had little choice back in the same financial situation most will revert back to that life. Getting a job selling hamburgers or in 7/11 without a University degree is very tough for Thai girls. I do know of one friend who lost everything and his girlfriend now his wife went out selling shoes and supported them for 3 years until he got back on his feet. I also know a lady who worked in our office about 15 years ago had 5 guys on the go at the same time. One bought her a car another a massgae palour and the others a monthly allowance. Then out of the blue she meets a guy from Hong Kong and dumps them all and now she lives there with 2 kids.....granted he could buy this forum at one emd of the street and sell it at the other so hardly surprising she's still with him.......to be fair according to her fiends she is very loyal to her hubby..........Bar girl office girl it doesnt make an ounce of difference there's good and bad everywhere

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Goat said:

I know who I would prefer as a mum. 

Probably a doctor who hires a (cheap) girl from up country to take care of her kids...

[fredwiggy]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Probably a doctor who hires a (cheap) girl from up country to take care of her kids...

That's not a given thing, as over 35% of children here live with grandma, and from all walks of life. More than any other country on earth, much more.The excuse is the man leaves (usually does) and they have to resort to going to the big city to find work. It's an excuse because there are jobs everywhere if they need them. Going to a big city means they have to pay rent, electric and the like instead of staying local and living with family, as many here do anyway. They only earn a couple hundred baht more in the cities (besides being a hooker) and that's where the extra money goes. The doctors who have children can always find a sitter during the day in any city.

Edited August 7, 2023 by fredwiggy

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Goat said:

High school is narly free and Thais can get student loans for University.

There loans are to be paid every July.

good system for those with a bit of go.

High school is around 12,000bht/year, if you don't pay the 'extras' they don't accept your kid.

University loans are hard to get, and then need to be repaid.

 

Lets assume you borrowed 30k/year, outstanding loan 120kbht.

Then the job you get pays 20k/month, and you would have earned 15k/month in a supermarket without a degree.

 

How many months do you need to work to break even?

720k loss from not working 4 years + 120k debt = 840kbht loss ..... made up by 5kbht/month wage increase.

So that's another 14 years to break even with someone that left after high school age 18.

or another 18 years to break even with someone who left school age 15.

 

Seems you don't have much experience of actually living in Thailand.

Edited August 7, 2023 by BritManToo

[bob smith]

Any girl that ends up working as a bar girl is, in the eyes of Thai society, a loser.

 

all real thai women and men say the same.

Edited August 7, 2023 by bob smith

[phetpeter]

On 8/5/2023 at 9:12 AM, sqwakvfr said:

It could depend on how long she has been a bar girl.  I saw an interview of a long term expat in Thailand and in essence he said  “you can the girl out of the bar but can you take the bar out of the girl”.  He said can someone who stays up all night, wakes up at 1200 and drinks really adjust to getting up at 700 AM to go to a low paying job?

He should have mentioned that if you meet one, who hasn't worked more than 6 months, you can find a keeper! but long term bar gals, are normally a lost cause. They saying goes if they are covered in tats, colour their hair and fancy nails, it too late! Thats from the grannies up country. I met my wife in Pattaya, got married in the UK, had a child, and my decision to move back to Thailand 18 years ago, as the UK was going down the pan. We have lived middle of Thailand for over 18 years and have been together 25 years, our daughter is now in Univesity, and life is good.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, bob smith said:

Any girl that ends up working as a bar girl is, in the eyes of Thai society, a loser.

 

all real thai women and men say the same.

7/11 girls earn peanuts. Winners?

[BritManToo]

24 minutes ago, Tanlic said:

Getting a job selling hamburgers or in 7/11 without a University degree is very tough for Thai girls.

You only need to complete Mattayom 3 (with certificate) age 15 to get those supermarket jobs.

[DjSilver]

Marry a whore? Well, many people do that since they can't get a woman/girl in a normal way, and it's not only var girls. So they pay her, and they will continue to pay her tje entire marriage and tge wife/whore becomes a housewife/stat at home home. However, they are not more than just a whore, they are glorified whores since they also cook and clean and not only sex from the money they get from their husbands. This instead of getting a real job.

[bignok]

Just now, phetpeter said:

He should have mentioned that if you meet one, who hasn't worked more than 6 months, you can find a keeper! but long term bar gals, are normally a lost cause. They saying goes if they are covered in tats, colour their hair and fancy nails, it too late! Thats from the grannies up country. I met my wife in Pattaya, got married in the UK, had a child, and my decision to move back to Thailand 18 years ago, as the UK was going down the pan. We have lived middle of Thailand for over 18 years and have been together 25 years, our daughter is now in Univesity, and life is good.

5 months?

[bignok]

1 minute ago, DjSilver said:

they are glorified whores since they also cook and clean and not only sex

So a dream wife.

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, bignok said:

7/11 girls earn peanuts. Winners?

At least they arent selling their crown jewels! 

[bignok]

Just now, bob smith said:

At least they arent selling their crown jewels! 

Girls have jewels? Those ones are ladyboys

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, DjSilver said:

Marry a whore? Well, many people do that since they can't get a woman/girl in a normal way, and it's not only var girls. So they pay her, and they will continue to pay her tje entire marriage and tge wife/whore becomes a housewife/stat at home home. However, they are not more than just a whore, they are glorified whores since they also cook and clean and not only sex from the money they get from their husbands. This instead of getting a real job.

I paid my Brit virgin schoolteacher wife for 30 years, and she only put out 1x a month.

Thai bargirl costs much less, bangs more, and looks better naked on my bed.

Edited August 7, 2023 by BritManToo

[bob smith]

Just now, bignok said:

Girls have jewels? Those ones are ladyboys

Should I be more vulgar? i mean I can but…. I think you get the picture

[crazykopite]

There is a very well known saying it goes like this ! “ You can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl “ having been here for 18 years o have witnessed many heart broken farangs who’ve ended up going home penniless that’s the reason why I go and have a massage as there is no commitment that doesn’t stop me going to the bars as some of the girls are very good pool players !!!!!!! Having said all that I was recently up in Bangkok went to a place fir a drink only to find all these beautiful 20+ year old girls everyone stunning yes they were selling sex in order to pay for there university costs one that I spoke to was studying to be a doctor so maybe we shouldn’t think these people are uneducated bimbos .

[bignok]

Just now, bob smith said:

Should I be more vulgar? i mean I can but…. I think you get the picture

Its just sex. Worlds oldest job.

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, bob smith said:

Any girl that ends up working as a bar girl is, in the eyes of Thai society, a loser.

 

all real thai women and men say the same.

Interestingly, most middle class Thai men I meet all have a suitable age Thai wife at home, and bang 20yo Thai hookers on the side. 

[bignok]

1 minute ago, crazykopite said:

There is a very well known saying it goes like this ! “ You can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl “ having been here for 18 years o have witnessed many heart broken farangs who’ve ended up going home penniless that’s the reason why I go and have a massage as there is no commitment that doesn’t stop me going to the bars as some of the girls are very good pool players !!!!!!! Having said all that I was recently up in Bangkok went to a place fir a drink only to find all these beautiful 20+ year old girls everyone stunning yes they were selling sex in order to pay for there university costs one that I spoke to was studying to be a doctor so maybe we shouldn’t think these people are uneducated bimbos .

What place was that?

[OneMoreFarang]

21 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

The doctors who have children can always find a sitter during the day in any city.

And that's my point.

It seems many people who can afford a maid and nanny have them. And then the parents go to work and make money and the nanny takes care of the children.

Now, are these nannies who are professionals who are trained to take care of children? Or is it more likely that the rich parents hire someone cheap?

 

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Interestingly, most middle class Thai men I meet all have a suitable age Thai wife at home, and bang 20yo Thai hookers on the side. 

Thats very true.

 

they have zero respect for the women they ‘bang’ though….