Old age and dying

[ArnieP]

Whether or not it’s normal it is very common for contemplative people 75 and older to graciously accept the inevitable. 

 

Howard Stern asked David Crosby (Google if you don’t know) a while ago about Crosby’s health and life expectancy. Crosby said, “It isn’t how long you have left to live, but what you do with the time that you have left”.

 

There is a time to leave the party. You have had a good time, have had your fill, you look around and realise, the party is no longer one where you fit. They are dancing to tunes you don’t recognise and they use words not in your lexicon. You are really not interested in adapting to new ways. 

 

Peace and quiet seems more prized than frantic activity. The thought crosses your mind: it’s time to go home.

 

Does the inevitable bother people here?

[KhunLA]

Twice I didn't think I was going to make it through the night, and amazingly, I was quite content with that.

 

Glad I did wake up next day, and appreciate everyday, maybe a bit more, not sure, as always appreciated waking up.  

 

I hate times like now, as can't really go O&A, as planned a Southern loop.  Now delayed, due to having some dental work being done, and need to be closer to home, next few weeks.

 

Might take some 'local' outings.

Edited August 22, 2023 by KhunLA

[Neeranam]

Howard Stern must be old. 

 

If you are scared of dying, you haven't lived in a good way. 

When I reach 60, I want to renunciate and find the meaning of life/death and hopefully will have a few years more. 

[scubascuba3]

It's the nature of death which could be a slow torture for some and family around them, I'm thinking dimentia and Parkinsons

Edited August 22, 2023 by scubascuba3

[nikmar]

exactly - im not so scared of dying, however, i have had a few unhealthy habits in my time and the time that preceeds my inevitable departure may not be good. 

 

Not scared of death but very scared of the consequences of my past lifestyle.

[KannikaP]

5 minutes ago, nikmar said:

exactly - im not so scared of dying, however, i have had a few unhealthy habits in my time and the time that preceeds my inevitable departure may not be good. 

 

Not scared of death but very scared of the consequences of my past lifestyle.

If it gets to that position, go back to your bad old past lifestyle habits, and you will be on your way pretty soon. And it can be speeded up if you need it to.

[Kwasaki]

41 minutes ago, ArnieP said:

Does the inevitable bother people here?

What a stupid question as if you have any choice in the matter.

Take one day at a time is what my grandma said at 89.

[ArnieP]

10 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Take one day at a time is what my grandma said at 89.

Too right.

[connda]

2 hours ago, ArnieP said:

Whether or not it’s normal it is very common for contemplative people 75 and older to graciously accept the inevitable. 

 

Does the inevitable bother people here?

Nope.  It is what it is, speaking as a 70+ year old and watching the inevitable ravages of time.  What I don't get are those who hold on as tightly as possible to a body in decay, like it's some kind of trophy, as well as their wealth: "He with the most toys at death wins."  Actually not.  He with the most toys at death probably will suffer immensely as they can't take all of that "stuff" with them.

So - yeah.  People our age should dwell on the eventually of death, kindle acceptance, and enjoy the moments we have left whether you believe there in Heaven/Hell, rebirth, or annihilation.  It matters not in the here and now - Live for the moment.

[Mr Derek]

I've done all my dying - meaning that I've thought about it enough. I am obsessed though with how to make the most of the time left - it's a constant question. I find that it's not a matter of indulgence at all, though I admit, there are certain things I am tempted to do now from a sense of 'what the hell' that I've never done before, and I intend to die penniless in order to avoid the regret of missing out on anything, though that's mainly a problem of timing.

[Eff1n2ret]

33 minutes ago, connda said:

kindle acceptance

What? I'm fine with the Kindle app.

[stoner]

2 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

as if you have any choice in the matter.

i am 46 and in 30 years there might be things that change that. 

[jaideedave]

31 minutes ago, connda said:

Nope.  It is what it is, speaking as a 70+ year old and watching the inevitable ravages of time.  What I don't get are those who hold on as tightly as possible to a body in decay, like it's some kind of trophy, as well as their wealth: "He with the most toys at death wins."  Actually not.  He with the most toys at death probably will suffer immensely as they can't take all of that "stuff" with them.

So - yeah.  People our age should dwell on the eventually of death, kindle acceptance, and enjoy the moments we have left whether you believe there in Heaven/Hell, rebirth, or annihilation.  It matters not in the here and now - Live for the moment.

Good points.I'm 72 + and have assumed a policy of "giving while living".I inherited a few bob a couple years ago and bought the Mrs a new car, Gave some some to SIL family to upgrade their house. Took Mrs on a vacay to Vietnam and bought some gold bars. I felt all the better for it. A buddy of mine spent several years waiting for his dad to pass so he could inherit the loot.I felt sorry for him to be so small. I somehow feel its sort of my duty to pass on any wealth to benefit my immediate family.And no, I was not coerced into that.I survived "C" and they we there for me when I needed them most.

[Straight8]

My dear mum is 80 & 1/2 years & does exactly this... lives one day at a time, until her time is up.

[steven100]

This is a sad topic.  I am always thinking about my aunties, uncles, old friends, family,  they are all dead .... I'm drinking every night thinking how I never seen them when they were old I should have.  I didn't see them for 20 years or more.  I'm left here alone as they are all dead now.  

It's very sad when your left and they are all dead. 

 

 

[csmith]

Start making your preparations … here is a really good website … free ….   https://www.joincake.com/memorial-pages/stan-witaker/
 

[csmith]

Maybe go to one of the “Death Cafes” meeting in Chiangmai and talk it through with cake & tea.

 

I think there is a Facebook page.

[Denim]

I've looked into it , the pros and cons and can't see any advantades in it for me so I have decided not to bother with it and save the hassle .

[steven100]

58 minutes ago, jaideedave said:

A buddy of mine spent several years waiting for his dad to pass so he could inherit the loot.

Did his dad eventually die and did he get all the loot ?

[Jelli]

I'm 60+ and I'd like 30 more years of good health. After that I'm okay with tipping my hat and showing myself out.

 

If even in a very modest yet secure, comfortable little place. Enough to eat. Bills paid. Seen everything, done everything - wife as well.

 

I'm absolutely fascinated at the shi+storm that's going to be hitting the world in the next 25 years. I'd love to watch it from a virtual bunker.

[VBF]

According to the Playwright John Mortimer "There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."

(I think someone on AN uses that in his profile)

 

[Hummin]

Life have been a blast on a rollercoaster, and seriously did not expect to live a long life. Now I feel I still have a few more decades to go, maybe three. 

[TimeMachine]

Some people seem oblivious to their own eventual death.  I am certain of it and even further will set a date close to when Im ready to exit on my own terms. 

Death and its exit doesnt bother me and im amazed that such things are considered off topic like self killing. We should be able to discuss how each of us will plan to die. I am concerned about dying unexpectedly but stress less about it as time goes on.  

[Adumbration]

Dying is rarely easy.

[ArnieP]

1 hour ago, steven100 said:

This is a sad topic.  I am always thinking about my aunties, uncles, old friends, family,  they are all dead .... I'm drinking every night thinking how I never seen them when they were old I should have.  I didn't see them for 20 years or more.  I'm left here alone as they are all dead now.  

It's very sad when your left and they are all dead. 

 

 

I’m in virtually the identical situation sans the nightly drinking. 
 

I started the topic, which I agree is sad, because I’m curious to see how others think and feel about ageing and reaching the end, knowing the grim reaper is on the horizon. 
 

 

[MichaelHunt]

5 hours ago, ArnieP said:

Does the inevitable bother people here?

It didn't bother me - until you brought it up. Thanks a lot! Ha.

[swm59nj]

It has to do with what you would like to do with the rest of your life. 
if you just think about waiting for death your rest of your life will be depressing 

[LatPhrao]

Just turned 77 and, playing off of that fave tv series 77 Sunset Strip, it is looking a bit like now heading down sunset strip. Perish the thought, after so many years of questioning whether I might be immortal after all said and done.  Fortune to of inherited good and long good health, life has been a rich gambit for me beyond any dreams or expectations, fortunate to appreciate much that it has to offer, and I suspect I'll continue to find life's little pleasures in the day to day and the various ways one has to entertain oneself even in limited situations.  Keep a good attitude, forgo self pity, look for the silver linings and do not go silently into that dark night.  Take the good with the bad going forward and knock on wood.

[TimeMachine]

4 minutes ago, LatPhrao said:

Just turned 77 and, playing off of that fave tv series 77 Sunset Strip, it is looking a bit like now heading down sunset strip. Perish the thought, after so many years of questioning whether I might be immortal after all said and done.  Fortune to of inherited good and long good health, life has been a rich gambit for me beyond any dreams or expectations, fortunate to appreciate much that it has to offer, and I suspect I'll continue to find life's little pleasures in the day to day and the various ways one has to entertain oneself even in limited situations.  Keep a good attitude, forgo self pity, look for the silver linings and do not go silently into that dark night.  Take the good with the bad going forward and knock on wood.

So your Mr. Johnson still works then? 

[DJ54]