First Thai relationship, any advice?

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

Sounds like she may be doing short times elsewhere, that can leave them cold

he said she is a college student.. possible, but not like the crowd you hang with... 

[VinnieK]

I would try to make sure that she's a student, and actually attends lessons.

Try to visit her at her digs.

Also, go thru every page on her FB...there are always gonna be incriminating stuff there

Looks a bit feral to me.

 

[RafPinto]

Pick her up at Uni and invite her for dinner or cinema.
You will quickly see if she really attends Uni or if she is on a different mission.

[ravip]

2 hours ago, ozthai23 said:

Hi all,

I'm in my early thirties and she is in her early twenties, not that I'm sure age is a factor in my concerns. But it could be relevant I suppose.

 

I have been dating a Thai for 3 months. We live separately and she only visits me at my condo, I've never seen her accomodation. She is a student and has her own student accomodation.

Sometimes she surprises me and can be warm and affectionate, and she often sleeps at my place. However sometimes she stays home due to 'needing to get up early for class' but in reality stays up to 2am claiming she was in her phone and couldn't sleep.

 

 

My condo is kind of small with only tiny couch in lounge and a bed in bedroom which may influence the following, but sometimes she feels cold and distant when she is over at my place she will sit on said couch on her phone while I'm in the bedroom watching tv, for hours until midnight and then come lay with me for a little and sleep, then leave early the next day.

 

 

When she comes over its often already 11-12 at night, which itself concerns me a bit.

 

There has been a few times she has said she's sore and doesn't want to do the thing, although we hadn't been together for a day or two.

 

The other morning, she told me she was calling a grab. 10 mins later she collects her stuff and makes a b line for the door without telling me her lift arrived or she was leaving. Nothing. 

I decided to ask her what was up and if it was normal to leave without saying anything, her response was she was tired and didnt feel like talking? Kind of threw me off a bit.

 

Anyway, sorry about the long post but I like the girl, I just don't understand some of the behavior and and leads me to feel paranoid. I haven't really experienced this before and honestly if it was a western girl I'd wonder if she might be a little Asperger's or even be uninterested altogether!

 

I could be paranoid and completely in the wrong here. I'm just not sure.

 

Any advice or feedbacks is appreciated, thanks in advance.

 

 

 

You have come to the best place for advice on the subject!

[RichardColeman]

I'm more interested in how you are staying in Thailand . You are not old enough for a retirement visa and that really only leaves a working one - if you have no retirement visa and not working and  just here for an extended holiday I would pretty much give up now. If you are on a work visa then I would imagine you could do much better and have a better intelligence than some to know when you are being lied to

[transam]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Isaan is one of the most boring places on earth, so that's a legitimate statement, although there are things you can do together if she went along. Movies, lunch or dinner dates, walks together. Getting them off their phones without a crowbar isn't easy. no matter the age.

"Isaan is one of the most boring places on Earth"....

 

A daft statement..............

[fredwiggy]

6 minutes ago, transam said:

"Isaan is one of the most boring places on Earth"....

 

A daft statement..............

Maybe but true.

[BarraMarra]

The OP is not the boyfriend he is just in the Cue.

[watchcat]

2 hours ago, ozthai23 said:

Hi all,

I'm in my early thirties and she is in her early twenties, not that I'm sure age is a factor in my concerns. But it could be relevant I suppose.

 

I have been dating a Thai for 3 months. We live separately and she only visits me at my condo, I've never seen her accomodation. She is a student and has her own student accomodation.

Sometimes she surprises me and can be warm and affectionate, and she often sleeps at my place. However sometimes she stays home due to 'needing to get up early for class' but in reality stays up to 2am claiming she was in her phone and couldn't sleep.

 

 

My condo is kind of small with only tiny couch in lounge and a bed in bedroom which may influence the following, but sometimes she feels cold and distant when she is over at my place she will sit on said couch on her phone while I'm in the bedroom watching tv, for hours until midnight and then come lay with me for a little and sleep, then leave early the next day.

 

 

When she comes over its often already 11-12 at night, which itself concerns me a bit.

 

There has been a few times she has said she's sore and doesn't want to do the thing, although we hadn't been together for a day or two.

 

The other morning, she told me she was calling a grab. 10 mins later she collects her stuff and makes a b line for the door without telling me her lift arrived or she was leaving. Nothing. 

I decided to ask her what was up and if it was normal to leave without saying anything, her response was she was tired and didnt feel like talking? Kind of threw me off a bit.

 

Anyway, sorry about the long post but I like the girl, I just don't understand some of the behavior and and leads me to feel paranoid. I haven't really experienced this before and honestly if it was a western girl I'd wonder if she might be a little Asperger's or even be uninterested altogether!

 

I could be paranoid and completely in the wrong here. I'm just not sure.

 

Any advice or feedbacks is appreciated, thanks in advance.

 

 

 

Dump her.

[ozthai23]

18 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I'm more interested in how you are staying in Thailand . You are not old enough for a retirement visa and that really only leaves a working one - if you have no retirement visa and not working and  just here for an extended holiday I would pretty much give up now. If you are on a work visa then I would imagine you could do much better and have a better intelligence than some to know when you are being lied to

I'm here on a student visa studying Thai, my aptitude is reasonable. I'm half way to my commercial pilot certification. 

[scubascuba3]

47 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

he said she is a college student.. possible, but not like the crowd you hang with... 

Well known college students do sex work to fund their studies and families

[ozthai23]

6 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

The OP is not the boyfriend he is just in the Cue.

Had my suspicions, but the fact she stayed here 6 or 7 nights in a row recently made me think otherwise, max time we have been apart is 2 days consecutive and I've met the family in the village too

[ozthai23]

Just now, scubascuba3 said:

Well known college students do sex work to fund their studies and families

Wouldn't it be easier to ask me for cash? She says her grandpa and mom fund her studies and never asks me for cash. Although I do pay for her taxis and food when with me

[brianthainess]

I don't want to say she is lying, But she is lying.

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, ozthai23 said:

 and I've met the family in the village too

[ozthai23]

9 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

The OP is not the boyfriend he is just in the Cue.

 

9 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

The OP is not the boyfriend he is just in the Cue.

Had my suspicions, but the fact she stayed here 6 or 7 nights in a row recently made me think otherwise, max time we have been apart is 2 days consecutive and I've met the family in the village too

[scubascuba3]

1 minute ago, ozthai23 said:

Wouldn't it be easier to ask me for cash? She says her grandpa and mom fund her studies and never asks me for cash. Although I do pay for her taxis and food when with me

asking you for money would ruin the dynamics, you'd be another customer

[ozthai23]

10 minutes ago, BarraMarra said:

The OP is not the boyfriend he is just in the Cue.

Had my suspicions, but the fact she stayed here 6 or 7 nights in a row recently made me think otherwise, max time we have been apart is 2 days consecutive and I've met the family in the village too

[n00dle]

2 hours ago, petermik said:

She sounds a very immature young girl.....better quietly to distance yourself as soon as possible.

why? she sounds bloody ideal to me. low maintenance pops by to shag. 

[ozthai23]

1 minute ago, brianthainess said:

Lol, you think the whole family would go as far as to put on a whole fake show? They've never received a cent from me and in 3 months I've spent maybe 4000b on her?

[n00dle]

27 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I'm more interested in how you are staying in Thailand .

nosy git.

[hotandsticky]

1 minute ago, ozthai23 said:

Lol, you think the whole family would go as far as to put on a whole fake show? They've never received a cent from me and in 3 months I've spent maybe 4000b on her?

Wow!

 

 

I think that she has certainly found a "keeper".......

[ozthai23]

2 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

Wow!

 

 

I think that she has certainly found a "keeper".......

Why would I muddy the waters even further by throwing an allowance in the the equasion? 

[ozthai23]

2 hours ago, mancub said:

....before a jealous Thai guy pays a visit with a weapon and/ or a number of cohorts !

Good luck to them getting past my security lol

[fredwiggy]

14 minutes ago, ozthai23 said:

I'm here on a student visa studying Thai, my aptitude is reasonable. I'm half way to my commercial pilot certification. 

My son has his basic license,and is trying for commercial now.

[brianthainess]

What is she studying at Uni ? what is her favorite subject/, can she speak English?, Did her family appear to be able to afford the Uni fees? Ask her to bring her homework round.  

[BE88]

You've already answered yourself, you don't trust her anymore, so......

[hotandsticky]

7 minutes ago, ozthai23 said:

Why would I muddy the waters even further by throwing an allowance in the the equasion? 

 

OK, let's for a moment consider the possibility that you are not a troll.

 

If you don't pay her an 'allowance' somebody else will

[brianthainess]

12 minutes ago, ozthai23 said:

Lol, you think the whole family would go as far as to put on a whole fake show? 

Yes I've had personal experience of that. The mother turned out to be a gambler.

[ozthai23]

3 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

 

OK, let's for a moment consider the possibility that you are not a troll.

 

If you don't pay her an 'allowance' somebody else will

Literally tells me she doesn't want to any of my money, just grab and food