American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[Satcommlee]

2 pigs and a chicken, thats all your getting.

[quake]

A non Thai and Dowry payment.

Your having a laugh.

Enjoy the bar in the departure lounge suvarnabhumi.  

 

 

 

[wombat]

1 hour ago, jacko45k said:

a University student not a bar worker. 

one does not preclude the other in modern Thailand...the online inroads during covid put an end to that myth

[gerritkaew]

Never ever married and Never give this, never !!  
it just money trow away.  
why not just be together  ?

not buy or buld a house,, it’s not yours and for sure you lose all. 
golddigers, all Thai people,, all ????????. 
 

im married, buld big house, nothing is mine. 
you loose all, but Iff you don’t mind to give away,, give me some please ????????. 

[bamnutsak]

We haven't had a sin sod thread here in what, five years?

 

 

[rumak]

9 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I would love to see you explaining that to the parents of the bride. ???? 

ha ha  .   You think giving the analogy of  "Let me rent your ricefield........ and i will share the profit

with you "   would work better ?

[JCauto]

14 hours ago, transam said:

How old are you, 15....................

Mentally, probably about right. Peter Pan syndrome. Treating women as commodities for pleasure not humans for companionship. Let's try to guess where his political proclivities lie, no prizes unfortunately.

[NorthernRyland]

more greedy money grubbers trying to take advantage of some a foreigner. How much would a local man pay to marry this girl I wonder. 

 

Love of money is root of all evil.

[MikeUdon]

[KannikaP]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Easy answer is just live together, no marriage.

Totally agree. Into my 13th year with her indoors. Put 1M in a joint account, but haven't told her the details yet, that's in my Will!

[JimTripper]

6 minutes ago, NorthernRyland said:

 

Love of money is root of all evil.

Yeah right, they are also bringing a big money issue into the wedding ceremony putting cash and gold up on a platter and worshipping it.

 

Is it a marriage ceremony or really a golden calf worshipping?

[impulse]

Somewhere in the Thai blogosphere, there's a discussion of a family's dilemma as the daughter's cheap-ass boyfriend won't pony up for the dowry.

 

 

[NorthernRyland]

2 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Yeah right, they are also bringing a big money issue into the wedding ceremony putting cash and gold up on a platter and worshipping it.

 

Is it a marriage ceremony or really a golden calf worshipping?

If they invested it maybe it would be smart but we all know what they're going to do with the money (depreciating consumer goods, booze, parties etc..). Being the poorest region of Thailand serves them right.

[Mywayboy]

13 hours ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

The normal solution for this kind of demand, for Thais and farangs alike, is to negotiate with the parents for the family to put up the sinsod for show at the wedding ceremony, and then take the money back themselves once the ceremony is done. That way, face is satisfied.

 

The fact the Redditor involved is apparently unaware that such arrangements are common here is seemingly a bad sign for his familiarity with Thailand and Thai customs.

 

Of course, the daughter could instead end up with a Thai husband up in Isan, who like too many stories reported in the news here over the years, will repeatedly cheat on her with other women, do drugs and drink to excess, become insanely jealous, and ultimately beat/attack her causing serious bodily harm.

 

But hey, it's their daughter, and the parents can decide.

 

 

You forgot get her pregnant then leave her to find a rich foolish Farang 

[Dogmatix]

A million sounds a bit high for this type of girl.  She should bargain it down and agree with the parents that lie to all the idiots in the village that they received a million or more. Most of them do that and borrow the cash that gets showed around at the ceremony. Sin sot was a sore point between the missus and me for some years before we tied the knot.  I bargained it down to 300k plus some gold in the end. Mrs Dog grabbed the gold for herself and I still have it in the safe but her mother frittered away the 300k on lottery tickets and other forms of gambling in a few weeks before complaining she was broke and needed another cash infusion.  It is often a complete waste of money. So have no shame in bargaining it down to as little as possible.

[kennw]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Offer 2m cos she's so special, but you need time to sell your house back home ....... bang her for a year, then confess you don't have the money so you'll have to call off the wedding.

 

They'll agree cos they're greedy.

Should quote to the family the Indian system where the girls family pays the groom to be. Maybe can break even. 555555

[Dogmatix]

5 minutes ago, impulse said:

Somewhere in the Thai blogosphere, there's a discussion of a family's dilemma as the daughter's cheap-ass boyfriend won't pony up for the dowry.

 

 

I heard this from a driver who drove us around Chiang Mai province once. His daughter married a cheap charlie farang and he refused to pay sin sot. Then he took her to farangland and refused to give her money to send back to family.  But the Isaan family in question is wealthy as they have their own shipping business - perhaps on operating packet steamers on that big lake created by dam in Ubon.

[JimTripper]

This is kind of like asking for a big diamond ring in the USA. Give me a huge ring or no marriage. If it’s a small ring she must really like him, etc, otherwise he presents it and gets shunned, crawls away in shame…

[NorthernRyland]

12 minutes ago, Dogmatix said:

A million sounds a bit high for this type of girl.

If these parents are putting a price tag on their daughter he better do a full audit. How are the teeth? Does the family have a history of disease? Is the mom fat and ugly at 50? Can the girl cook? etc... The price better add up or he should consider purchasing from another dealer.

 

 

 

[Reginald Prewster]

LOL, my wife to that time 35 years old, was the oldest of 4 girls.

 

Father: "she is an old bone, you can have her and the dowry is upto you!"

 

Me: "Ok dad, the dowry is 300k and after the wedding you give me 100k back"

 

Father laughing: "Why so much, you are anyway the long whished son I get, when you marry her." 

 

Me: "You raised her to a good wife, strong and hard working woman!"

 

Father: "for 200k you can have the youngest daughter Pi, she is only 21 years"

 

Me: "She is too young for me, I love Sr"

 

Father looking to the other Family members and loughed loud: "He must be blind!"

 

My wife:

"Ok, the dowry is seddled, I put the money on my Book bank and pay father small amounts as he needs, otherwise he and uncle will pickle themselves in Lao Khao until the money is gone."

 

Later I found out that most real and traditional Thai dowry negotiations are like that... 

hence:

1 Million dictated from the Familily is just the beginning of the iceberg, I fear he loves and marries a barrel without bottom..

The parens really seem to be "pro farang"

NO KEEPER!

[David in the north]

14 hours ago, mfd101 said:

Just say No. Very politely to the parents, very sweetly to your girl.

 

Over to them.

Exactly!

[tmd5855]

2006 to 2009 where in a relationship that I thought would succeed.  Marriage came up and so did 'Sinsod' and the cost of the marriage ceremony??

Told GF/wife-to-be that the marriage would only be a 50/50 Thai/Farang so if I were expected to do Thai, then she and family could do Farang.

When explained that I pay Sinsod and her Papa pay for wedding brought looks that could kill, my suggestion that the 'Sinsod' be shown and then used to pay wedding so double big face for Papa brought shakes of the head.  I had already renovated the house by fitting wiring and fixed plumbing, repaired engine for the long handlebar tractor but, I could smell a rat.

We parted ways after that, easy for me to do since working offshore Asia, only living Thailand for tax reasons, were really hurt about the ending, but, would not be held to ransom.

 

In 2015 met a woman who had clothing stalls in the Mall in Korat, we started a relationship, met her family who all had their own homes, cars etc, her dad said "Take care my Granddaughter" she were only 9, next spring she goes university, 'Sinsod' were never mentioned when we married 2017.  

Sometimes you play or fold your cards.

 

[madisongy]

I don't see any issue.   I have known my wife for 20 years, married for 4.  The ONLY thing my wife has ever wanted (financially) was the wedding and sinsod.......over 20 years.  It's actually sort of annoying that she NEVER asks for anything, because I wish I could do more for her.   (ok, she did want to go out to dinner last week) 

Most amazing woman I ever met....only took me 16 years to figure that out. 

[1FinickyOne]

14 hours ago, transam said:

Why don't farangy's understand, Thai blokes pay sin-sod for their bride to be.

Why should a farangy be any different.......

A Thai fellow paid 500,000 for a lady in my village...

 

And many years ago, a young Thai fellow that I knew was borrowing money and working hard because his wealthy bride to be - her family wanted a 15 MM baht house built for their daughter.... 

 

some people here think sin sod is just a custom made up for farang

[steven100]

15 hours ago, snoop1130 said:

the other half would be kept by the parents for safekeeping.

bs.  they're Thai.  It'll likely be gone on a new pickup.

[ChrisKC]

Not a dilemma at all.

 

it is ransom money - I would show no interest in such a situation. It isn't the money, it is the audacity of parents and their supporters to suggest sinsod is a security (of the relationship) issue. And the girlfriend thinks it is reasonable - well, she would, wouldn't she? "Thin end of a wedge" springs to mind here

 

My American friend, don't THINK about not returning, just don't

[1FinickyOne]

11 minutes ago, Reginald Prewster said:

LOL, my wife to that time 35 years old, was the oldest of 4 girls.

 

Father: "she is an old bone, you can have her and the dowry is upto you!"

 

Me: "Ok dad, the dowry is 300k and after the wedding you give me 100k back"

 

Father laughing: "Why so much, you are anyway the long whished son I get, when you marry her." 

 

Me: "You raised her to a good wife, strong and hard working woman!"

 

Father: "for 200k you can have the youngest daughter Pi, she is only 21 years"

 

Me: "She is too young for me, I love Sr"

 

Father looking to the other Family members and loughed loud: "He must be blind!"

 

My wife:

"Ok, the dowry is seddled, I put the money on my Book bank and pay father small amounts as he needs, otherwise he and uncle will pickle themselves in Lao Khao until the money is gone."

 

Later I found out that most real and traditional Thai dowry negotiations are like that... 

hence:

1 Million dictated from the Familily is just the beginning of the iceberg, I fear he loves and marries a barrel without bottom..

The parens really seem to be "pro farang"

NO KEEPER!

The old line tradition was that each party designated a friend to negotiate the dowry and that way there was no conflict w/the family... 

[sambum]

14 hours ago, Screaming said:

Another old cheap Charley expat comes to Thailand and expects to marry a much younger woman and not pay up. Well Charley, go home and see what you can get there. Not much if anything I presume.

"expects to marry a much younger woman and not pay up."

Are you saying that Thai women are a commodity with a price tag? 

[lapamita]

there two side of story

 

maybe greddy  or

 

maybe hes one of thousands english teachers with high salary , or one of the thousand with thousands of promisses , or hes just a butterfly

 

i asked a  not close friends ,after he sais he loves her so much , supporting her with little money ..whats when she go hospital and bill 150k  ..answer : he would cut off and not pay ,,,, he even denying paying her a health insurance of 30k a year , say thats her buissenes , f*** cheap and love ,some missundertstand

 

30 year here, and the fault is not only 1 side ., i see the equal farang a**** like thai a**** , but the last years farangs outpace thai ***

[brianthainess]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Easy answer is just live together, no marriage.

Or just get married for free at the Amphur office, no big ceremony there, and that would prove her love for him. but as usual here its all about face.