Jomtien culture compared

[BigStar]

1 hour ago, Danderman123 said:

Typically, middle class Thai ladies do not marry old Farangs. Unless there is a *lot* of money involved.

 

Nothing to do with your puzzlement, which I trust has been cleared up for you already. Now please read the 3rd post in the thread. The OP is in his 30s. Further, you haven't the slightest clue about how old the farangs were when met their middle class gf/wives. Finally, Thais are all individuals. Anyone ignorant enough to stereotype them, farang, or relationships is probably too ignorant and undesirable ever to charm a middle class Thai woman anyway regardless of his age. So young farang are also relegated to P4P. 

[Danderman123]

13 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Nothing to do with your puzzlement, which I trust has been cleared up for you already. Now please read the 3rd post in the thread. The OP is in his 30s. Further, you haven't the slightest clue about how old the farangs were when met their middle class gf/wives. Finally, Thais are all individuals. Anyone ignorant enough to stereotype them, farang, or relationships is probably too ignorant and undesirable ever to charm a middle class Thai woman anyway regardless of his age. So young farang are also relegated to P4P. 

Actually, I agree with you there - a Thai middle class young lady may very well hook up with a younger Farang if he has some funds so she doesn't have to support him.

[BigStar]

1 minute ago, Danderman123 said:

Actually, I agree with you there - a Thai middle class young lady may very well hook up with a younger Farang if he has some funds so she doesn't have to support him.

 

No, not because she doesn't have to support him.

 

I once heard a writer say that the average 13-year-old girl knows more about the game of love than the average adult male. Most here are totally clueless really. P4P is really the only way; no wonder they came to Thailand. 

[BigStar]

6 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

at 74 you aren't going to get a much younger lady unless there's an incentive of money short term or long term, better if you're just honest with yourself about it

 

I don't know any 74-year-old here looking to "get" a much younger lady. If I hear of one, I'll refer him to your successful "getting" consulting service.

 

Now the OP is in his 30s. IMO, he also doesn't need to "get" a much younger lady, no matter your panting about an 18-year-old. French Prez Macron went for one 24 years older. Been great.

 

I once made the acquaintance once of a retired ex USA Air Force translator who in his early 50s had married a Chinese Thai business lady about 10 years older. Been a very happy, successful marriage. Last time I saw him was at a luncheon in a group in BKK. He was around 60 then and still besotted. I didn't care for him, personally.

 

When I was leaving at the end, he had talked so much about his wife that I suggested he send her next time in his stead. I'd like to have met this extraordinary woman! They're still together, own a lot of property they've developed together; she's in her 80s now.

 

So the OP, seeking a long-term relationship, commitment, marriage, the whole bit, had better be concerned mainly with stability and compatibility for the long haul. Sadly, I wasn't born with that Third Eye

 

 

so many of our posters possess that communicates those Absolute Forum Truths, like all Thai women are prostitutes. So lacking, I always see lots of possibilities, and verified possibilities. Thais are all individuals and so are farang. Compatibility takes many forms.

 

YES, some relationships with ex-bar girls have worked out well. The two best BJ artists (Ajarn Jane and her student, Oh) in a BJ bar on Soi 6 both married farangs who wanted the best BJs, frequently. Good for them.

 

But I think starting a relationship based on P4P is less likely to be successful, from my own survey, having lived in Pattaya over 20 years. Chances are better, I think, outside the mizu shobai, or "water trade," as Japanese call it. That is, respectable, standard ol' job.

 

Workers work longer hours and 6 days a week, oftentimes. That 6th day may be reserved for the family, friends, and *tamboon. You can live together near their job, or you can support them and maybe help them find another, better job. NO, that doesn't mean they're prostitutes. It means you aren't going to be a deadbeat. Maybe you're in love and want all their attention.

 

So, as poster said above, office ladies have the best schedules. And you might have most in common with educated office ladies. They are most likely to be interested in seriously learning English. They may share your interests in movies, music, and other stuff. They aren't lazy and may be into fitness or could get into it. 

 

On the other hand, if you lack education yourself, can't learn to speak any Thai, suffer from bigotry and the chronic need to denigrate Thai culture, engage in constant mansplaining, are just an all-around boor, no matter your high opinion of yourself--then you won't get far with the nice office ladies. You know where your companionship lies, pun intended. 

 

Older middle-class ladies are accessible to old farang men 70 and up who have game. They're divorced, kids are working, they have houses, they have income. But even the older ones aren't gonna go for a retired hod carrier from Blackpool. No, they won't accept deadbeats and live with you at their own expense in your fan room on Soi Buakhao. That doesn't mean they are prostitutes.

 

 

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, BigStar said:

middle-class ladies are accessible to old farang men 70 and up who have game. They're divorced, kids are working, they have houses, they have income. But even the older ones aren't gonna go for a retired hod carrier from Blackpool. No, they won't accept deadbeats and live with you at their own expense in your fan room on Soi Buakhao. That doesn't mean they are prostitutes.

I would think retired western hod carriers are far higher educated than nearly all Thais, even the elites cheat and bribe their way through school while learning nothing.

[BigStar]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I would think retired western hod carriers are far higher educated than nearly all Thais, even the elites cheat and bribe their way through school while learning nothing.

 

Yes, you would think that. Plus, a UK hod carrier's manners are far better, his cultural sensitivity unmatched, his range of interests much wider, and, being from UK, his driving skills are superb. Next.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Danderman123 said:

Typically, middle class Thai ladies do not marry old Farangs. Unless there is a *lot* of money involved.

More like they don't know how to meet foreigners, or have nothing to offer foreign men.

My housing estate is full of shapeless single middle class Thai ladies, living in houses rented for them by their middle class Thai children. They effectively have nothing but the charity of their kids.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, BigStar said:

Yes, you would think that. Next.

I don't think you actually know anything about Thai people, you live in a fantasy world. 

[BigStar]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I don't think you actually know anything about Thai people, you live in a fantasy world. 

 

Forgot how much you're paying for your rented wife. Plus, I don't think you've given us the figure for how much you spent schooling her daughter through uni, have you?

 

Back to your rabbits.

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Forgot how much you're paying for your rented wife. Plus, I don't think you've given us the figure for how much you spent schooling her daughter through uni, have you?

 

Back to your rabbits.

Most middle class parents put their kids through university.

 

But let's just define middle class,

Degree or manager or business owner with employees is middle class. I'm prepared to bet you didn't manage any of those.

[BigStar]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Most middle class parents put their kids through university.

 

But her kid is her kid. You're just renting, unmarried, and paying for sex, knowing Thai people so well, and wisely economizing. She don't like it, she can leave, right? So what. Or is that just self-delusion.

 

That's how to do it, good model for our noobs. We haven't seen the figures yet.

 

<irrelevance snipped>

 

 

 

 

 

[BritManToo]

15 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

But her kid is her kid. You're just renting, unmarried, and paying for sex, knowing Thai people so well, and wisely economizing. She don't like it, she can leave, right? So what. Or is that just self-delusion.

 

That's how to do it, good model for our noobs. We haven't seen the figures yet.

 

<irrelevance snipped>

Been married 14 years now. If she gets fed up with me I'm OK with leaving, it's her house.

 

How about you?

[BritManToo]

On 12/20/2023 at 6:59 PM, smallchungus said:

I’m in my 30s and that situation is exactly what I want to avoid

Thailand may not be the place for you!

[BigStar]

46 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

you live in a fantasy world. 

 

Forgot to ask you more about that coming Zombie world takeover you believe in. When does it begin? What about the Zombie dietary habits? Fascinating subject. Need to work it in the OP's quest, however. Zombie women in Jomtien? 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

Forgot to ask you more about that coming Zombie world takeover you believe in. When does it begin? What about the Zombie dietary habits? Fascinating subject. Need to work it in the OP's quest, however. Zombie women in Jomtien? 

It's coming, it's coming soon!

[BigStar]

26 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Been married 14 years now. If she gets fed up with me I'm OK with leaving, it's her house.

 

How about you?

 

WOT??? Married??? And she can kick you out? You should know better'n that. Giving a rented Thai woman some legal rights. Rather goes against the rental-only concept.

 

My condo, nobody's gon' kick me out. Older building, maxed out for decades. Always a few for sale, but the only way most farang leave here is in a hearse. Me & the gf been together more than 20 years. She's always worked and had her own money. And, to address your nonsense above, when she got her degree in English from Ramkaemhaeng, she didn't bribe anybody, didn't cheat on anything (she wouldn't anyway), and worked really hard. She did well and learned quite a lot. Her English is better than that you'll hear from most Brits in Thailand, what with the dialects.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, BigStar said:

 

My condo, nobody's gon' kick me out. Older building, maxed out for decades. Always a few for sale, but the only way most farang leave here is in a hearse. Me & the gf been together more than 20 years. She's always worked and had her own money. And, to address your nonsense above, when she got her degree in English from Ramkaemhaeng, she didn't bribe anybody, didn't cheat on anything (she wouldn't anyway), and worked really hard. She did well and learned quite a lot. Her English is better than that you'll hear from most Brits in Thailand, what with the dialects.

Two people living in a single room for 20 years isn't my idea of success, but if it works for you why not.

[BigStar]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Two people living in a single room for 20 years isn't my idea of success, but if it works for you why not.

 

Oh, you have no idea whether we've lived in a single room or not. I think you live in a fantasy world.

 

I think we're done here.

 

OP, you may or may not wish to take @BritManToo as your role model. If so, PM is available for personal counseling, seances, and health advice, like: don't do checkups, leave it all up to the genes.

[scubascuba3]

8 hours ago, BigStar said:

Me & the gf been together more than 20 years

People can say anything on here, as they often do, anyway that would make her 50+, unless she was very young when you met her, she's certainly playing the long game

[jacko45k]

11 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I would think retired western hod carriers are far higher educated than nearly all Thais, even the elites cheat and bribe their way through school while learning nothing.

That is the type of experience they will need for all their adult life!

[BigStar]

5 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

People can say anything on here, as they often do, anyway that would make her 50+, unless she was very young when you met her, she's certainly playing the long game

 

Yawn. I've given her age previously, no big secret here, and also none of your business. I've also noted the irrelevance of your precious age gaps. More and more I think your diet is contributing to a growing dementia.

 

We've been together so long merely out of love & friendship. We have a lot in common, notably an interest in health and fitness. WOT???

 

No "game" is being played; I have no assets she needs. Laughable assumption on your part that simply reflects your own ignorant, stereotypical, obsession.

[BritManToo]

24 minutes ago, BigStar said:

No "game" is being played; I have no assets she needs. Laughable assumption on your part that simply reflects your own ignorant, stereotypical, obsession.

None of us doubt you can get a free old boot to share your single room condo. But most of us have enough money to pay for a house and someone a bit more attractive.

[BigStar]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

None of us doubt you can get a free old boot to share your single room condo. But most of us have enough money to pay for a house and someone a bit more attractive.

 

Sour grapes. And poor lady, having to prostitute herself to you. I find my gf quite attractive, BTW.

 

I know how much you want the topic to be about me, but it's really about the OP.  The idea of a real relationship does of course create chagrin after the vast sums you've expended on a rented wife, her daughter, and her house in the sticks she can kick you out of any time. Now I've recommended that if the OP wishes to follow your model, the Standard Model for the forum (lot of highly educated hod carriers here), he may PM you. What further compliment do you need?  You got it down, man. :)

 

I merely offer an alternative but unpalatable vision here of looking around for a middle class educated lady with a decent job he needn't pay and enjoy a traditional relationship based on love & friendship. We do have guys here who've done that and are happy. I know of a number of them myself. 

 

So, your problem with that idea is merely your problem. Why not just accept what you have bought for yourself, be happy, and not worry so much about what other people have and the way they choose to live their lives?

 

 

[DudleySquat]

On 12/20/2023 at 6:12 PM, smallchungus said:

I’ve heard to avoid Pattaya for finding long term relationships because of the bar girls and general sexpat culture of the city.  I have zero interest in anything related to this.  Is Jomtien going to also be a bad choice for finding a potential long term relationship/wife as well due to its proximity to Pattaya?  Would I be better off going to somewhere like Phuket or Hua Hin?  I don’t drink so bars in general aren’t going to be of any appeal.  My main interest in the general Pattaya area is the number of restaurants, quality hospitals, cost of living, and not getting obliterated by smoke season.

 

Jomtien is a great place to live if you don't want the typical nonsense that happens in Pattaya. 

 

You can find good women on Tinder and Thai Friendly.  You have to know who to avoid and how to spot a good woman. I have found many.

[scubascuba3]

3 hours ago, DudleySquat said:

Jomtien is a great place to live if you don't want the typical nonsense that happens in Pattaya. 

Same in Jomtien just less of it

[jacko45k]

19 hours ago, DudleySquat said:

You can find good women on Tinder and Thai Friendly.  You have to know who to avoid and how to spot a good woman. I have found many.

But not a single one worth keeping?

[Expat68]

2 hours ago, jacko45k said:

But not a single one worth keeping?

I have found one on Tinder worth keeping, still happy after 11 month

[VillageIdiot]

On 12/25/2023 at 10:09 PM, CMHomeboy78 said:

I agree with you entirely.

This is a situation that I can comment on because I lived it when I first came to Thailand in my early 30's.

The country and people have gone through a lot of changes since that time in the late 1970's, but some things have remained largely as they were. The commercial sex scene is one of them.

Like so many others, I was like a kid cut loose in a candy store when I first arrived.

As a free-lance graphic artist I could live and work almost anywhere and I chose Thailand with alacrity... and not only for the easy sex.

My nature is instinctively monogamous so I would select a willing girl and we would set up house together. The tree-lined klongs that still existed on the outskirts of Bangkok provided some really idyllic settings and small traditional houses were renting for about $30. per month.

Several of these mee-uh chows had been "on the game" before I met them - either immediately or at some time earlier. What they all seemed to have in common was a fun-loving temperment, ever ready to by tee-oh and have a good time.

As I was in the prime of my life and not some pot bellied old plug-ugly, they loved showing me off to friends and family.

All great fun for me and probably the high-point of my life as far as pure sensual pleasure and a carefree existence is concerned.

The flip side to that was the discovery - usually very early on - that each and every one of them had a mercenary nature, a mean streak, and the total lack of anything like a moral compass.

Also, "Breaking up is hard to do" takes on a whole new level of meaning among those girls here in Thailand. I feel lucky to have escaped with my life and limbs intact after some of the violent affrays that resulted from our partings.

That's my experience; no doubt others will have more positive personal accounts to relate.

I subsequently moved to Chiang Mai and happily became acquainted with a better class of people, married, settled down in my mid 30's and went on to raise two daughters who my wife brought up in a traditional manner while preparing them for careers in the modern world.

They have both been very successful, I'm glad to say.

All's well that ends well.

 

Exceptionally good post.

It's in stark contrast to the clueless drivel that dominates this thread.

Your own experiences are shared - to one extent or another - by most of us who were here before the economic boom and mass-tourism of the 1980's that changed Thailand out of recognition.

One point you didn't make about marrying and settling down here is the importance of learning Thai.

Living in a country and not speaking the language and being functionally literate is like being deaf, dumb, and blind once you leave the tourist ghettos. You just don't know what's going on around you.

Some people seem to be born with an aptitude for learning languages... I wasn't, but I overcame it to learn Thai because I didn't want my wife and children to see me as an illiterate who couldn't speak the language. I would have been a lasting embarrassment to them all.

That's a piece of advice that should be seriously considered by anyono planning to make Thailand - or any foreign country - their new home.

 

[BenStark]

On 12/27/2023 at 10:21 AM, DudleySquat said:

You can find good women on Tinder and Thai Friendly.  You have to know who to avoid and how to spot a good woman. I have found many.

 

It depends on what you mean with a good woman.

 

Obviously your understanding of it is different to that of others on here, otherwise you wouldn't have a need to find more than one

[DudleySquat]

1 hour ago, BenStark said:

 

It depends on what you mean with a good woman.

 

Obviously your understanding of it is different to that of others on here, otherwise you wouldn't have a need to find more than one

 

Your logic is astounding.