Thai elderly woman abandoned by children struggles to survive

[webfact]

Abandoned and suffering from a medical condition requiring surgery, Orratai, 84 years old, was left to fend for herself, despite having four children. She had attempted to reach out to her daughter, living in a luxury house in the Ram 2 area, but was denied entry.

 

Orratai was discovered by the Sai Mai Must Survive team, alongside officials from the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security. They had been alerted to her situation by a neighbour, who reported that the elderly woman was living alone in a house on Sukhapibal 5 Road, Sai Mai district. The utilities in her house had been cut off, and she was struggling to survive with no one to care for her, despite having four children, all of whom she had put through private schools and reputable universities.

 

After her children had moved out and started their own families, they had abandoned Orratai. She had previously tried to visit her daughter at her house in the Ram 2 area, but despite waiting outside the house all day, no one had come to open the door for her. Eventually, unable to endure the heat, she had to return home.

 

Upon arrival at her daughter’s house, the luxury property with a high-end car parked outside was found to be empty. A neighbour, Ann (Pseudonym), revealed that she had often seen the elderly woman waiting outside her daughter’s house. She had offered Vetnaya a chair to sit on and allowed her to use her bathroom. Vetnaya would typically arrive in a taxi, but more often than not, she would not find anyone at home or, if her daughter was home, she would not come out to meet her.

 

by Samantha Rose 

Photo courtesy of iStock

 

Full story: The Thaiger 2023-12-29

 

- Cigna offers a range of visa-compliant plans that meet the minimum requirement of medical treatment, including COVID-19, up to THB 3m. For more information on all expat health insurance plans click here.

 

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[Gottfrid]

How disgusting. Children been taken care of and that today can live a life in good style to luxury. Not even one of them can have the heart and be thankful enough to care for their mother at old age. That´s as low as you can come. Disgusting behavior.!

[JoseThailand]

She should've invested in a private retirement fund or real estate instead of education for her children

[edwinchester]

1 hour ago, JoseThailand said:

She should've invested in a private retirement fund or real estate instead of education for her children

As is the case many times children are the retirement fund but fail to give the expected returns....very sad case.

[hotchilli]

5 hours ago, JoseThailand said:

She should've invested in a private retirement fund or real estate instead of education for her children

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

[brianthainess]

Without knowing how she treated her kids when they were young, it's difficult to reply, but even if say she physically abused them, then they should try to forgive her, seems strange ALL 4 kids don't want to help her, I think there must be an underlying reason that we don't know about. just saying.  

[Thingamabob]

There may well be more to this story than we are being told. It sounds as though the children are cruel, but there must be a reason all four of them will not help their mother.

[fdimike]

The children shouls be arrested and prosecuted for abandoning their mother.  Lots of sickos here in this sick society.

[NedR69]

6 hours ago, Thingamabob said:

There may well be more to this story than we are being told. It sounds as though the children are cruel, but there must be a reason all four of them will not help their mother.

Yes...my thoughts exactly.  There's more to this story that sounds like BS to me.  

[flyingtlger]

What ever happened to Filial Piety?

 

[soi3eddie]

So sad to read this. Her children should be ashamed, no matter what occured through life. No way to treat a senior lady. I hope that the organisations (Sai Mai Must Survive team and officials from the ministry of Social Development and Human Security) can assist and give comfort in some small way.

 

[KhunLA]

More to the story than her side of it.   I can relate.

 

I threw my father out of the house (previously my parents') the day I bought it.   My mother lived there for free, in one of the apartments, and had my American. Express card for anything she needed.

 

All 4 ignoring her ... something ain't right there.

[nobodysfriend]

On 12/29/2023 at 6:45 AM, webfact said:

the elderly woman was living alone in a house on Sukhapibal 5 Road, Sai Mai district. The utilities in her house had been cut off, and she was struggling to survive with no one to care for her, despite having four children, all of whom she had put through private schools and reputable universities.

 

Better not to have kids .

 

On 12/29/2023 at 6:45 AM, webfact said:

or, if her daughter was home, she would not come out to meet her.

 

Sad .

[FruitPudding]

Got to be something more to this.

 

Thai families are messed up on a huge scale compared to what I saw back West.

 

There's a Thai proverb, "To hit a child is to love a child" 

 

That says it all.

 

I've witnessed a lot of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse (all of which are considered good parenting strategies) as well as a hell of a lot of emotion and physical neglect.

 

After all this, the parents expect their child to take care of them when they are old.

 

In my extended family,  there are kids with stunted growth, all teeth rotten, severe development issues, barely literate, abandoned by the biological mother & father, neglected and abused by the grandparents -- all the while the mother earns 50k and 100k doing massage in Phuket and Japan, respectively. This is a common story.

 

Not too long ago, in Isaan, I earned 30k a month - total household income - equivalent of 2 Thai parents on 15k each, and I was able to take care of my kid properly. 

 

And it ain't just in poor communities, although it's a lot more common.

 

What about that rich Paragon kid who was, according to the news, living alone in a separate house from family at the age of 13 when he hit the front page, apparently schizophrenic, and playing with guns.

 

Now, I teach very very HiSo kids and some of them have serious family problems.

 

Many simply don't have childhoods or lives at all - it's bipolar to what you see in an Isaan village - they study at a highly sought-after, prestigious school, then they study after school every day, then they study on Saturdays, and they study on Sundays. Of course, they study during summer, too!

 

No free time, except to learn classical instruments, like the violin, or compete at a national level in sports - high pressure and expectations!

 

What kind of slavery is this? What ever happened to just playing or hanging out after school?

 

So long as they become doctors and take care of their parents in retirement,  it's okay............but this is still abuse, na!

 

 

 

[gargamon]

The westernization of Thailand continues. Not just the obesity, now parental neglect. 

[FruitPudding]

14 hours ago, fdimike said:

The children shouls be arrested and prosecuted for abandoning their mother. 

 

That's not how it works. 

 

The children didn't give birth to the mother, they have no parental responsibility. 

 

They should take care of their aging parent, but there could also be valid reasons they want nothing to do with her. Who knows?

 

Thailand really needs a better social security system, if it ever wants to be a first world, fully developed country.

 

If this woman worked all her days and paid taxes, she deserves a reasonable pension from the state. 

[FruitPudding]

14 minutes ago, gargamon said:

The westernization of Thailand continues.....parental neglect 

 

Where in the West are you from?

 

There's no pension system to handle this issue?

 

Where in the West are children supposed to pay their parents a pension?

 

I actually think families in the West are a lot closer and genuinely caring than here.

[NONG CHOK]

One of the problems is that Thai women can't keep their mouths shut. I've seen this first hand even with my wife who must tell her kids how to live even though they're both in their 40's and have kids of their own. So now they don't talk to her but they still talk to me when I see them when I'm shopping. Everyone has a limit and I told my wife repeatedly to mind her own business. In other words STFU. It's stretches ones patience when a person is constantly in your face.

[gargamon]

19 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

 

Where in the West are you from?

 

There's no pension system to handle this issue?

 

Where in the West are children supposed to pay their parents a pension?

 

I actually think families in the West are a lot closer and genuinely caring than here.

You try and equate what a government does and how children treat their parents? What you describe is the children handing off their responsibility to the government. 

[FruitPudding]

5 minutes ago, gargamon said:

You try and equate what a government does and how children treat their parents?

 

Governments rake in money from its citizens. They return some money by spending on public needs.

 

There should be a pension. Mainly because some children can't afford to take care of themselves, never mind their parents - the economy can be tough - but also some parents and children have bad relationships or lose contact completely.

 

5 minutes ago, gargamon said:

What you describe is the children handing off their responsibility to the government. 

 

Don't governments make enough money taxing everything we touch?

 

Is a reasonable pension too much to ask?

 

Aside from that, we do not live in an anarchist society: the government owns us and our children. They ought to take some responsibility for the elderly. 

[Mitkof Island]

The wonders of what religion teaches us. Que Jumping seems to be the latest Thai fad.

[JeffersLos]

2 sides to every story.

 

Except in Thailand, where there are 2,000. 

[NONG CHOK]

How can Thais expect to receive a pension when they did go to work none of them paid tax.

[Dickie Dee]

On 12/29/2023 at 6:45 AM, webfact said:

Abandoned and suffering from a medical condition requiring surgery, Orratai, 84 years old, was left to fend for herself, despite having four children. She had attempted to reach out to her daughter, living in a luxury house in the Ram 2 area, but was denied entry.

 

Orratai was discovered by the Sai Mai Must Survive team, alongside officials from the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security. They had been alerted to her situation by a neighbor, who reported that the elderly woman was living alone in a house on Sukhapibal 5 Road, Sai Mai district. The utilities in her house had been cut off, and she was struggling to survive with no one to care for her, despite having four children, all of whom she had put through private schools and reputable universities.

 

After her children had moved out and started their own families, they had abandoned Orratai. She had previously tried to visit her daughter at her house in the Ram 2 area, but despite waiting outside the house all day, no one had come to open the door for her. Eventually, unable to endure the heat, she had to return home.

 

Upon arrival at her daughter's house, the luxury property with a high-end car parked outside was found to be empty. A neighbor, Ann (Pseudonym), revealed that she had often seen the elderly woman waiting outside her daughter's house. She had offered Vetnaya a chair to sit on and allowed her to use her bathroom. Vetnaya would typically arrive in a taxi, but more often than not, she would not find anyone at home or, if her daughter was home, she would not come out to meet her.

 

by Samantha Rose 

Photo courtesy of iStock

 

Full story:  The Thaiger  2023-12-29

 

- Cigna offers a range of visa-compliant plans that meet the minimum requirement of medical treatment, including COVID-19, up to THB 3m. For more information on all expat health insurance plans click here. 

 

Get our Daily Newsletter - Click  HERE  to subscribe

The people laughing at this have no idea the fate that awaits them. And me to. Money won’t help unless you have many millions. Health care will take it like a vampire takes blood. 

[Scouse123]

On 12/30/2023 at 10:33 AM, NONG CHOK said:

How can Thais expect to receive a pension when they did go to work none of them paid tax.

 

I have said this to them loads of times and the Cambodians, but it falls on deaf ears as that is not what they want to hear.

 

They have convinced themselves amongst the lower ranks, farmers, labourers, and such like, that our governments give out free money enabling us to settle here.

 

Back to the thread in hand, there must be more to this for all four of her children to want nothing to do with her, it can happen, but it seems a bit: Un-Thai in my view.

 

I had a brother who died of COVID-19 during the outbreak. There were eight of us in our family, and the remaining seven of us had nothing to do with him.

 

He was a druggie, a thief, a robber, constantly in trouble or jail but when he became elderly, he expected us all to forget and treat him with kindness.

 

Life doesn't work that way.

 

Only my mother forgave his antics.

[Scouse123]

On 12/30/2023 at 9:16 AM, gargamon said:

You try and equate what a government does and how children treat their parents? What you describe is the children handing off their responsibility to the government. 

 

If they tried palming off parents on the government in Singapore, they would get a short, sharp shock.

 

Singapore makes it very clear that the children are responsible for their parents.

 

You can say it's a complete different society, but Singapore pulled itself up by itself.

 

It wasn't always as you see it now.

[Liverpool Lou]

On 12/29/2023 at 6:01 PM, fdimike said:

The children shouls be arrested and prosecuted for abandoning their mother. 

That's a criminal offence, is it?  Which section of the Thai Criminal Code covers that offence?

[Liverpool Lou]

On 12/30/2023 at 8:39 AM, FruitPudding said:

There's a Thai proverb, "To hit a child is to love a child" 

 

That says it all.

That is not what the proverb actually is but, regardless, your amended version of it is actually an ancient Thai proverb, not necessarily one that is followed these days.   That says it all.

[quake]

On 12/30/2023 at 9:35 AM, Mitkof Island said:

The wonders of what religion teaches us. Que Jumping seems to be the latest Thai fad.

 

Nah, Me first has been around for years here. 

[Liverpool Lou]

On 12/30/2023 at 8:39 AM, FruitPudding said:

In my extended family,  there are kids with stunted growth, all teeth rotten, severe development issues, barely literate, abandoned by the biological mother & father, neglected and abused by the grandparents -- all the while the mother earns 50k and 100k doing massage in Phuket and Japan, respectively. This is a common story.

"This is a common story".

I doubt that what your tale asserts is a common story.