Being pressured to pay off wife's mother's large debt.

[0ffshore360]

1 minute ago, Aust24R said:

I don't know either OS360, at first I was a bit nieve but I learn fast. I have always been steadfast in saying I won't pay her mother's debts. It's not right and I didn't incur them. I'm flying down to Samui next week in Chinese holidays. I have a right to see my wife, not just be passively accepting of all this from 6000 kms away

Best hope for satisfactory outcomes !

[Dolf]

47 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

I wanted to say thanks again to those replying with constructive help thank you. The mother's demands to help pay off her debt has almost become a moot point overnight. I'm working in China until July,  my wife went back to Thailand in November as she wanted to try a job. I've been absorbing her anger for months from a distance. Overnight (after I started this post), I managed to talk with her on video. It wasn't good. She admitted she'd been with other men in these last months on Samui since she left here. Again, the mothers demands have almost become incidental compared to the bigger picture. We are still married. I have a right to see my wife and talk. But now it'll be limited to knocking on her door as she's refusing to talk and has blocked. Yet she still happy took this months salary a few weeks ago. No more i can tell you. I'm trying to keep my head above water with it all. Regards

Easy now. No money for her or mum.

[Dolf]

8 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

I don't know either OS360, at first I was a bit nieve but I learn fast. I have always been steadfast in saying I won't pay her mother's debts. It's not right and I didn't incur them. I'm flying down to Samui next week in Chinese holidays. I have a right to see my wife, not just be passively accepting of all this from 6000 kms away. I'm a nice guy you know, I do my best, but I expect this to be confrontational. But she's my wife, I have a right to see her and talk

Why go see her? Go get another woman.

 

[Aust24R]

14 hours ago, Celsius said:

 

Who told you this lie? Your wife?

I read, I try to learn mate

[Aust24R]

13 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

 

I've given my wife about 170,000 over the years for your previous debts because the bank called and threatened court. It's makes me angry as hell and make sure to make a big fight out of it so she knows I'm not ok with it. Paying her parents debts is a bridge too far though. If it came to that I think I would just move away for a while and let her decide if it's worth a divorce or not.

Thank you for that Northern. It's good advice I know

[Aust24R]

37 minutes ago, marin said:

Wait a minute here. You are paying salary to a woman who is sleeping with other men, "men plural"? Are you out of your mind? Don't even think about mama and her million anymore. You have way bigger active problems than that. Damn Dude!!

I know Marin, now I know

[Dolf]

2 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

I know Marin, now I know

How much were you paying a month?

[Aust24R]

46 minutes ago, rexpotter said:

Nice Story, but its a very old story that I do not believe at all.

Your choice RS

45 minutes ago, 0ffshore360 said:

Best hope for satisfactory outcomes !

Thank you mate, I'll head down next week

[Aust24R]

20 minutes ago, 0ffshore360 said:

Best hope for satisfactory outcomes

Thank you mate

[Aust24R]

27 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Easy now. No money for her or mum.

Thank you Dolf, there won't be. With retirement planned for August  I won't be throwing it away to her or them anymore

[transam]

8 minutes ago, Dolf said:

How much were you paying a month?

Why so nosey, we know you take notes and find photos of members...

OP, be careful..........

[zhounan]

Mate, don't make this mistake. 

Stop being the White Knight. 

[brianthainess]

Sorry not read all posts but just where does her debt come from, my guess is gambling, you already brought land for her, that she has sold, jeez mate.

Run forest run. I would refuse point blank. "Are you kidding me Tilak? she sold land I paid for now want's more money, it ain't going to happen"  Bye Bye.

[Dolf]

13 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

Thank you Dolf, there won't be. With retirement planned for August  I won't be throwing it away to her or them anymore

Next woman meet the parents asap. Study them. Apples don't fall far from a tree.

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Next woman meet the parents asap. Study them. Apples don't fall far from a tree.

And ask if they want to play cards. 

[billd766]

18 hours ago, proton said:

How much is it?

Why do YOU need to know, especially as it is not your problem.

[Aust24R]

33 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

Your choice RS

Thank you mate, I'll head down next week

 

[FritsSikkink]

1 hour ago, Aust24R said:

I wanted to say thanks again to those replying with constructive help thank you. The mother's demands to help pay off her debt has almost become a moot point overnight. I'm working in China until July,  my wife went back to Thailand in November as she wanted to try a job. I've been absorbing her anger for months from a distance. Overnight (after I started this post), I managed to talk with her on video. It wasn't good. She admitted she'd been with other men in these last months on Samui since she left here. Again, the mothers demands have almost become incidental compared to the bigger picture. We are still married. I have a right to see my wife and talk. But now it'll be limited to knocking on her door as she's refusing to talk and has blocked. Yet she still happy took this months salary a few weeks ago. No more i can tell you. I'm trying to keep my head above water with it all. Regards

Try to let her text you where she admits being with other man. This will help you to get a good divorce. Start the divorce proceedings as soon as you are in the country. No need talk to her, she is a cheat and it will only get worse. Need the divorce before she starts taking out loans.

[Aust24R]

1 hour ago, Dolf said:

Easy now. No money for her or mum.

I will follow your wisdom Dolf, no more to them. Below is a small sample from a cold and demanding mother last week. I didn't send anything to her

[billd766]

1 hour ago, rexpotter said:

Nice Story, but its a very old story that I do not believe at all.

Apart from you, who really cares whether you believe it or not?

[rexpotter]

4 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Apart from you, who really cares whether you believe it or not?

Seems like you do.

[Dolf]

7 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

I will follow your wisdom Dolf, no more to them. Below is a small sample from a cold and demanding mother last week. I didn't send anything to her

Ok. Both gold diggers. I pay mine zero on a monthly basis.

[retarius]

To be honest I guess it would depend on how much it is. The mother of one of our staff got in hock to gray market money lenders....it was only 150,000 but she was about to lose her house. I lent the money to our maid to give to her mother, but of course I could take the repayment out of her wages. If it was 250,000 I probably wouldn't have lent it. 

It also depends on who owns the debt and what it is for. I know of a farang whose ex-wife ran up gambling debts, significant debts, and some nasty looking people turned up at his gate demanding he pay them the debt. He is a large fellow and he told them where to go, in an angry confrontation. The confrontation was repeated two or three times before the gang presumably decided to seek the money elsewhere.

So if it is a small amount pay it and bask in the sheer and total lack of gratitude doing such a charitable act commands here in Thailand. If it is owed to a bank, they won't be send armed thugs after you, so simply say no, no, no. 

If it is owed to thugs who turn up at your house, spend the money on acquiring two large Bang Gao dogs and a firearm (the firearms are expensive bought through a dealer with the police certificate and all, but cheaper, but illegal, if bought directly off the police, and make sure to keep your gate locked at all times. Make sure the dogs come to the gate with you and are snarling during the negotiations. 

[Aust24R]

25 minutes ago, rexpotter said:

Seems like you do.

Unfortunately RS, I would have preferred the last 5 months to be happy and peaceful rather than absorbing wife's constant anger from 6000kms away and her mother's cold demands. But I am learning, better now than never. Regards from a late lunch in China. I'll go down next week

[a3tsw]

8 minutes ago, norfolkandchance said:

Blast. Beat me to it.

Just waiting for the avatar now , my money's on Sir Les Patterson or Crocodile Dundee

[charleskerins]

20 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

This means that you obviously don't love your gf. Otherwise, you would help her and her family so that everybody will live happily ever after.

At least that is what your gf will make you believe.

 

There is an easy solution: Tell her that won't happen and tell her if she ever brings it up again then you will separate from her.

One way or another, that will permanently solve the problem. And unfortunately, it is probably the only way to permanently solve it. 

it's his wife

[charleskerins]

19 hours ago, transam said:

You must be careful there isn't a queue of family with debts.

 

These people know what they are doing when they, borrow, gamble, whatever.

The farangy is looked on as a Knight in shining armour, with his saddlebags full of gold.

 

I would forget the hangers on, they will get the message, unless you do have saddlebags full of gold...... 

He's right^

[Aust24R]

33 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Ok. Both gold diggers. I pay mine zero on a monthly basis.

Dolf I think it was the mother trying to add some sort of credibility to the demand, suggesting I give it to the wife, and that she'd silently give it to her mum. Something like that. I don't know. But I didn't do it. 

[charleskerins]

19 hours ago, save the frogs said:

when you start dating someone, the first and most important thing to ask is "how much is she going to cost me?"

 

 

isn't there a second part to that question?

[Dolf]

16 minutes ago, Aust24R said:

Unfortunately RS, I would have preferred the last 5 months to be happy and peaceful rather than absorbing wife's constant anger from 6000kms away and her mother's cold demands. But I am learning, better now than never. Regards from a late lunch in China. I'll go down next week

Good to know now.