Land of Smiles - really?

[fredwiggy]

Just now, SAFETY FIRST said:

I reckon I've seen more of the US than you. 

 

I'm positive you haven't come anywhere near close, as your statements show you don't know much about what goes on there.

[SAFETY FIRST]

2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

I like this thread. A lot.

Ha, ha,

 

I thought you'd like it. 😂

 

 

[ChrisThailand1977]

7 minutes ago, Yellow Fever said:

She’s only smiling cause she’s thinking about how much baht she can drain from you 

 

That would be my first assumption too... She's more concerned about her family or herself (understandably)

[SAFETY FIRST]

8 minutes ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

My original thread had absolutely nothing to do with my being gay

Oh, you are gay, Now I understand . 😗

 

Bob likes your comments 🫂

 

 

 

[bob smith]

6 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Ha, ha,

 

I thought you'd like it. 😂

 

 

....and if you don't like it (as your smarmy replies would suggest), then what are you doing here???

 

have you nothing better to do?

 

bob.

[Sheryl]

17 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

 

I've been here for 3 years, but I'm not happy really. Maybe I've just had a bad experience, which is not representative of the country as a whole

 

It certainly does not represent the country as a whole but it is pretty true of the comparatively small parts of the country with a lot of tourists and resident expats. Residents of these areas have become jaded by/antagonized to farangs (the proverbial few bad apples having spoiled things for the rest) plus these areas attract an influx  of Thais specifically seeking to make money from, or even outrigjt exploit,  foreigners. 

 

You can have a totally different experience outside of these areas.  But there are trade offs: little to no English spoken - you must speak Thai; usually need a car; few to no farangs to sociallize with.  Also fewer farang type items in the stores, but online shopping abd good courier delivery service have largely  addressed this last problem. 

 

There are even areas within greater Bangkok where thjngs are better (and won't need a car) but the Thai speaking is crucial. 

 

It is also important to understand what a smile means in SE Asian cultures. A much broader meaning than in the West.

 

 

[bob smith]

10 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I see you have a fan club on this thread.  

You sound jealous.

 

Never mind, maybe one day you will have a fan club of all of your own - though judging by your previous posts and AN persona I wouldn't hold your breath!

 

bob.

[Gottfrid]

18 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

Hi everyone

 

I know each person's experience of Thailand is different, but Thailand is often called the Land of Smiles. Is that really a fair description nowadays? My feeling is that people will smile as long as they can get money from you. As soon as they've got it, it's over with the friendliness.

This part, must mean you associate with the wrong crowd. Probably only met people from the entertainment, massage and bar scene.

 

18 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

 

Thais seem extremely hypocritical to me. I feel like I can't really trust anyone. Even Thai friends say this. Is it true?

So, you feel that you can not trust the ones you call Thai friends, or you have not been giving them all your money as they still have the friendliness left? How is it?
 

18 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

 

Generally, the country seems very backward in many ways. The majority of people are hugely exploited, but they just seem to accept it as if it were normal. Perhaps that's the deferent culture of the Thais.

Nah, it´s not really the culture, it´s more like a result of depressing a big part of the population for ages. Yeah, it´s backwards, as they have not been focusing on education for the bigger part of the population.
 

18 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

 

I've been here for 3 years, but I'm not happy really. Maybe I've just had a bad experience, which is not representative of the country as a whole.

 

I assume you have been living in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket or another of the very tourist populated places. That´s probably why you are not happy, combined with that you must have been seeking your friends in the wrong places. Where I live, I get smiles from people as soon as I open the door and go out.

[Sheryl]

A large number of unhelpful/flaming posts towards the start of this thread, and replies to same, have been removed. 

 

Attacking someone for starting a thread/asking a question will absolutely not be tolerated  

[Fat is a type of crazy]

There are lazy thais, and obnoxious thais, and tedious thais, and aggressive thais, and cringe Thais, and smart thais, and some girls who want your money.  Same as in Australia. If I had to summarise though thais are generally more friendly, do smile more, are more gentle, the women more feminine in a traditional sense, and maybe are a bit disassociated from the larger world, and put up with things that people from other countries and culture wouldn't put up with. Could be good and bad of buddhist culture and political and economic structure they are used to. 

[SAFETY FIRST]

4 minutes ago, bob smith said:

15 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

I see you have a fan club on this thread.  

You sound jealous

I have a large family here in Thailand, I only associate with good friends, family members and work colleagues, I prefer to avoid others. 

 

 

[ChrisThailand1977]

11 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

A large number of unhelpful/flaming posts towards the start of this thread, and replies to same, have been removed. 

 

Attacking someone for starting a thread/asking a question will absolutely not be tolerated  

 

I'm not surprised really. I must have hit on a nerve somewhere.

 

I'd like to thank those who made useful and constructive comments and suggestions here and apologise if I haven't replied to them. But I have been reading them and appreciate it very much.

 

My perspective has definitely changed somewhat and I can now see aspects that I hadn't previously considered.

 

That's one point of this forum, isn't it? To exchange views and experience so that people can learn.

[fittobethaied]

17 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

 

Well, you may be right.

 

My partner and I are German, he is German/Thai. We're 47 and 38, respectively.

 

So far, I've refused to engage with the 'expat community' as I wanted to make friends among Thais. So I even did a course in Thai with a private teacher, who eventually asked me to lend them money. Which I refused to do. So that was that.

 

I find it very hard to make friends. I have tried, but I find Thai people extremely shy or almost afraid. I understand their English is perhaps poor or non-existent (like my Thai) and I don't hold that against anyone. This is certainly not unique to Thailand.

 

People seem to assume I must have a lot of money, which is not the case, and I don't want to buy everything. I'm very much aware of scams and scammers and avoid them successfully.

 

I have a lot of problems with my Thai "in laws". They assume I'm here to finance them - which I also refuse to do. So they ignore me. My partner accepts that, as he doesn't want to finance them either.

 

So it's just the two of us. We knew it would be hard, but I thought (wrongly) that getting in touch with genuine people would be easier. But it isn't.

 

It's fair to say that this can happen anywhere in the world and it's not just Thailand.

 

The words I used in my initial post were not very carefully considered. Obviously not all Thais are this way. But perhaps someone has some ideas to get in touch with other people.

 

What I miss most is intelligent conversation. I'm not a drinker or someone who parties, unfortunately. I like cooking and entertaining, travelling and culture. I also miss public transportation in Europe as I was able to get around more easily. As someone with epilepsy, I don't drive so my partner does that. That's obviously a big drawback, especially in a country like this.

 

My apologies again for the unfortunate choice of words above.

 

I miss many things about my home in Europe but I want to find out what I'm doing wrong here. I'm very unhappy currently.

 

Thanks

Chris

Hi Chris! I moved here in 2010 and was very optimistic and hopeful that I would be making lots of new friends as easily as I did when I lived in Manila during the 80's. I quickly discovered that all Asian's are not the same. I am a Christian, so for me the easiest way to make a friend was always to show myself friendly and to give gifts as is encouraged in Scripture. However, that doesn't go well in Thailand because most people see that as a sign of weakness and naivety, and they tend to only gravitate towards you if they think they can gain something from you. I tried for several years to blend into the society here, but I found no peace until I finally decided to just give up on the idea of making everyone my friend and focus on simply "blending in" with my new family here and finding contentment in that. I keep myself fairly well insulated from the Thais and have found solace in the relationships with my immediate family members and the occasional expat, and I am at peace with that.  

[susanlea]

18 hours ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

Hi everyone

 

I know each person's experience of Thailand is different, but Thailand is often called the Land of Smiles. Is that really a fair description nowadays? My feeling is that people will smile as long as they can get money from you. As soon as they've got it, it's over with the friendliness.

 

Thais seem extremely hypocritical to me. I feel like I can't really trust anyone. Even Thai friends say this. Is it true?

 

Generally, the country seems very backward in many ways. The majority of people are hugely exploited, but they just seem to accept it as if it were normal. Perhaps that's the deferent culture of the Thais.

 

I've been here for 3 years, but I'm not happy really. Maybe I've just had a bad experience, which is not representative of the country as a whole.

 

Any thoughts on this?

 

Chris

How much do you smile?

[rumak]

2 hours ago, simon43 said:

Chris, perhaps you need to listen to the oft-quoted Thai phrase "you tink too mut".  In other words, (and I see this in many people nowadays), stop worrying about things, stop with this self-reflection, stop worrying about what others think of you and simply enjoy the fact that you are alive and with a partner in a country with a wonderful climate etc.

 

IMHO, many of the so-called mental health issues that seem to plague society nowadays are down to too much self-reflection, too much wanting to please others, too much concern over whether you have upset someone or not.

 

I don't give a flying fig what others think of me, (I'm sure most people have no opinion of me at all, I'm just another human on this planet). I accept my faults and I accept that the world is far from perfect.  I just get on with my life 🙂

 

I'm also a scientist, so I will only make the comment that we are in the warming part of an interglacial cycle that occurs typically every 100,000 years.  That means that it is natural for the climate to be warming up right now.  But iIt seems that the current rate of temperature increase is faster than the last increase some 100,000 years ago, and this can certainly be attributed to human activities/industry etc.

 

Finally, my knowledge of Thai helps when it comes to people dropping and burning litter.  If I see this I tell the person that Buddha can see them dropping litter or burning trash, and they are likely to be reborn in their next life as a cockroach if they continue to do this. (I have scared some Thais half to death when I solemnly tell them this!).

 

you sound like a really incredible person .

[KhunLA]

I find that you receive what you project.    @ChrisThailand1977

 

Along with @simon43 summing things up nicely with his earlier post ... here

[simon43]

21 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

you sound like a really incredible person .

Absolutely not!  I consider myself a normal kind of bloke who was brought up by my parents to understand that the world owes you absolutely nothing, and that you should not rely on others for mental support or financial support because you might find them lacking 🙂

 

On the other hand, being able to stand on your own two feet also bestows a responsibility on you to help others who are less fortunate than yourself.

[jerrymahoney]

1 hour ago, ChrisThailand1977 said:

Christ...

Well there is a Buddhism Forum but no Christ Forum.

[The Theory]

It depends, hansom or not 

[ChrisThailand1977]

6 minutes ago, The Theory said:

It depends, hansom or not 

 

🤣🤣🤣 Well, I'm not ugly. But no model either.

 

However, I think the perception of having money is more important. And I wear old clothes and I'm often somewhat unkempt. So that could be a reason people generally ignore me 🤣

[spidermike007]

I think relatively speaking it is still true. I was wandering around yesterday and noticing quite a few Thais talking to each other with big smiles on their faces, having a nice time, amusing themselves. You just don't see that in the US or Europe. Not often. The Thais have a way of being in the moment, much more so than we do, and they have a very playful nature. I think that most Thais are quite pleasant. I really enjoy being around them on a daily basis, and though  things have changed, that can be said about any place on the planet.

 

However I think Thailand has still maintained its lighthearted spirit and sense of humor. 

[rumak]

12 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I think relatively speaking it is still true. I was wandering around yesterday and noticing quite a few Thais talking to each other with big smiles on their faces, having a nice time, amusing themselves. You just don't see that in the US or Europe. Not often. The Thais have a way of being in the moment, much more so than we do, and they have a very playful nature. I think that most Thais are quite pleasant. I really enjoy being around them on a daily basis, and though  things have changed, that can be said about any place on the planet.

 

However I think Thailand has still maintained its lighthearted spirit and sense of humor. 

 

pretty much the same view I have , after being here 30+ years .   If anything, when compared to the West ......... Thailand has weathered the craziness  much, much better.    

[bob smith]

18 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

However I think Thailand has still maintained its lighthearted spirit and sense of humor. 

That is so funny!

 

 

bob.

[spidermike007]

4 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

pretty much the same view I have , after being here 30+ years .   If anything, when compared to the West ......... Thailand has weathered the craziness  much, much better.    

I could not possibly agree more. I think the Thai people are resilient, I think the Thai people are very optimistic in their outlook toward life, they've maintained their sense of humor, they've maintained their playful spirit, and I quite often see Thais playing and joking with each other and having a good time, even though they may be bored to death sitting in a store with no customers, they still seem to make the most of it.

 

Their attitude in general is the polar opposite of the attitude of most westerners, and I find that so refreshing, and for me it makes living here very enjoyable.

 

But one has to consider that the Thai people are relatively intuitive and they tend to react to the energy that we're putting out there, so if we have a sour attitude, if we are bitter, if we are not being warm and friendly, they simply respond to that and we therefore get a somewhat twisted interpretation of who they are based on who we are. 

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I'm talking all over the world people will say anything to sell you stuff

or just take your money and not sell you anything... you are correct. 

 

There are good people out there but we seem to be increasingly sinking into a muck hole. 

[1FinickyOne]

11 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I could not possibly agree more. I think the Thai people are resilient, I think the Thai people are very optimistic in their outlook toward life, they've maintained their sense of humor, they've maintained their playful spirit, and I quite often see Thais playing and joking with each other and having a good time, even though they may be bored to death sitting in a store with no customers, they still seem to make the most of it.

 

Their attitude in general is the polar opposite of the attitude of most westerners, and I find that so refreshing, and for me it makes living here very enjoyable.

 

But one has to consider that the Thai people are relatively intuitive and they tend to react to the energy that we're putting out there, so if we have a sour attitude, if we are bitter, if we are not being warm and friendly, they simply respond to that and we therefore get a somewhat twisted interpretation of who they are based on who we are. 

What I have noticed is that although they watch the news, they don't discuss it with each other. They gravitate toward a fun and playful attitude towards life. Yes, they are generally much more perceptive and have a special radar that detects angry people and they try to avoid that. 

[susanlea]

18 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

moving back to America for many reasons, some of which have nothing to do with Thailand but that it doesn't have what I need, and it's also a better place for girls, and women, to live.

You said so many times.

[1FinickyOne]

24 minutes ago, rumak said:

 

pretty much the same view I have , after being here 30+ years .   If anything, when compared to the West ......... Thailand has weathered the craziness  much, much better.    

 

16 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

I could not possibly agree more. I think the Thai people are resilient, I think the Thai people are very optimistic in their outlook toward life, they've maintained their sense of humor, they've maintained their playful spirit, and I quite often see Thais playing and joking with each other and having a good time, even though they may be bored to death sitting in a store with no customers, they still seem to make the most of it.

 

Their attitude in general is the polar opposite of the attitude of most westerners, and I find that so refreshing, and for me it makes living here very enjoyable.

 

But one has to consider that the Thai people are relatively intuitive and they tend to react to the energy that we're putting out there, so if we have a sour attitude, if we are bitter, if we are not being warm and friendly, they simply respond to that and we therefore get a somewhat twisted interpretation of who they are based on who we are. 

I agree entirely with both of you - if you walk around with a smile and are pleasant, that is what comes back to you

[susanlea]

2 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

What I have noticed is that although they watch the news, they don't discuss it with each other. They gravitate toward a fun and playful attitude towards life. Yes, they are generally much more perceptive and have a special radar that detects angry people and they try to avoid that. 

I think Thais don't care about last month. Farangs still care about 1945. Thai approach is better.

[jwest10]

20 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

of course a lot of it is fake based on money but isn't that the same everywhere, work out where you are going wrong

Many do and yes good and bad everywhere in the world and much worse in USA and Blighty!!!