Why do retirees marry in Thailand ?

[jerrymahoney]

2 hours ago, NanLaew said:

When I came back for second rodeo in Pattaya,

As I said, this was first time marriage for me anywhere so nothing like your experience -- except for maybe the boob part.

[BobBKK]

21 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

I married my Thai wife after 4 yrs of living together, she opened her own shop, and then I got really sick with TB, she closed her shop and stayed with me 24/7 for 5 weeks, sleeping on the floor, and took care of me. After that I asked her to marry me, 9 years ago, she even changed her name to mine. But one thing is I was lucky ( not her though ) as she was an orphan at age 12, even from the very beginning I asked her to never tell her extended family 'up north' that she has a falang BF/husband she has kept that a secret from them from day one.  .. she also tells me regularly that she loves me.    .

 You found happiness - that's good and I wish you well - we all make our own choices. 🙏

[BigStar]

56 minutes ago, Nemises said:

Your health issues are bad. Hope you can recover 🤞

 

Lame, as inevitable. I'm great, be glad to share numbers with you. Winter is coming, though, as you'll see. So much for your Disneyland.🤣

[Hummin]

Just now, BobBKK said:

 Fair enough - you save them on your white horse. I treat all my meetings with girls with utmost kindness and respect - no lies, no BS, no false stories to get their knickers off. It's an exchange, and they are willing participants.

Again you pulling it out of proportion thinking every Thai girls needs to be saved, and thai wife's do not have resources or possibilities or potential to make it in life. 

 

Your experience 

 

We can trow arguments at each other all day long, but, who really cares.

 

Met enough socially awkward people in Thailand to understand where most coming from when debating here. 

[BobBKK]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Again you pulling it out of proportion thinking every Thai girls needs to be saved, and thai wife's do not have resources or possibilities or potential to make it in life. 

 

Your experience 

 

We can trow arguments at each other all day long, but, who really cares.

 

Met enough socially awkward people in Thailand to understand where most coming from when debating here. 

 
I can assure you - your judgement of others is arrogantly and condescendingly wrong. Compared to western guys the vast majority of girls here are under privileged and will marry a guy like you, probably many years younger - why?  for "true love" obviously  ROFL 

The truth is they will do so because circumstances dictate whilst dirty old farangs 20 or 30 years older delude themselves. I am not saying this is you but I have been here a long, long time and I see many old farangs with 20 years or younger beautiful chicks on their arms walking around like strutting peacocks when in their own country they could not pull an OAP from a pensioners meeting. Sad but true.

[Hummin]

14 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

 
I can assure you - your judgement of others is arrogantly and condescendingly wrong. Compared to western guys the vast majority of girls here are under privileged and will marry a guy like you, probably many years younger - why?  for "true love" obviously  ROFL 

The truth is they will do so because circumstances dictate whilst dirty old farangs 20 or 30 years older delude themselves. I am not saying this is you but I have been here a long, long time and I see many old farangs with 20 years or younger beautiful chicks on their arms walking around like strutting peacocks when in their own country they could not pull an OAP from a pensioners meeting. Sad but true.

I see your point, and understand, but that says more about the men, than the women. Men who take advantage of poor women because they can, and ending up as Thai women haters at worst, or just grumpy old men who lost.

 

I understand I come out arrogant, but it is in context replying to men who bash those of us who thrive and enjoy being two, and feel we have a good relationship far from what others think they know. 

 

It is possible to have good relationships with women, but I also understand not everyone is willing to walk the extra mile to make it happen. Doesn't mean it is a one way contribution, it only works if both do those small extra things for each other and make sure both get the best out of it. 

 

It takes adjustments from both parts. 

 

An retired expat with an younger girl, I can just assume how boring it can be if have no common ground, or nothing to do, that makes them get up in the morning and start doing something, and do not have daily routines, and as well weekends, same as you would do home when still working.

 

Not to fill the life with some healthy substance

 

Edited July 8 by Hummin

[PingRoundTheWorld]

1 hour ago, Kinnock said:

But if you see the relationship as a partnership where you are fully committed to supporting each other, then it's very different.   However, this approach requires finding Miss Right ..... and conversely she needs to find Mr Right.

In my personal experience that rarely exists with attractive women in Thailand. The order of her priorities will usually be (her) family first, kids if there are any, herself, and only then you. It's hard to build a partnership who has so many priorities above you IMHO.

 

1 hour ago, Kinnock said:

I know the ideal partner for a long term relationship does exists, but if you're lucky enough to find one, she will expect the commitment to be two-way.

Well, that's a different topic entirely. I don't believe men should be relegated to a single sexual partner for the rest of their lives, but of course no woman wants to know her man is playing with other women. I like the Japanese-style "solution" which is to pretend it's not happening and look the other way - they are not mad as long as you don't shove it in their face and make an effort to keep it discrete. With Thais it's more complicated, but doable.

[BobBKK]

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I see your point, and understand, but that says more about the men, than the women. Men who take advantage of poor women because they can, and ending up as Thai women haters at worst, or just grumpy old men who lost.

 

I understand I come out arrogant, but it is in context replying to men who bash those of us who thrive and enjoy being two, and feel we have a good relationship far from what others think they know. 

 

It is possible to have good relationships with women, but I also understand not everyone is willing to walk the extra mile to make it happen. Doesn't mean it is a one way contribution, it only works if both do those small extra things for each other and make sure both get the best out of it. 

 

It takes adjustments from both parts. 

 

An retired expat with an younger girl, I can just assume how boring it can be if have no common ground, or nothing to do, that makes them get up in the morning and start doing something, and do not have daily routines, and as well weekends, same as you would do home when still working.

 

Not to fill the life with some healthy substance

 

 I understand I am not one of those who bash happiness. But I contend that any beautiful girl 20 or 30 years younger marrying a much older farang does it more for security than love. I don't say love cannot exist, but circumstances have been such that she will do it. In another world, another country with all the advantages, she would not. It is what it is - be happy!

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, BobBKK said:

 I understand I am not one of those who bash happiness. But I contend that any beautiful girl 20 or 30 years younger marrying a much older farang does it more for security than love. I don't say love cannot exist, but circumstances have been such that she will do it. In another world, another country with all the advantages, she would not. It is what it is - be happy!

Since I'm not one of those, I can agree from my point of view. 

 

I'm also one of those who feel more connected to my wife the longer we are together, but fornus it have always been babysteps establishing our relationship, finding our way to coexist. 

 

Not crazy love or lost our heads, neither promised each other gold and air castles and pink dreams.

 

That's maybe the difference from others who have no time to be lost, and invest all they have, both feelings and invest in house and car after short time knownledge.

 

You know something is wrong, when the girls starts talking about land and house investments 3 months in to the relationship, or want to emigrate to Europe. 

 

I had a few of those before I met my wife.

[khunPer]

On 7/7/2024 at 12:01 AM, Franck60 said:

Hey guys!
I often read stories about westerners or even western retirees marrying Thai women in Thailand.

 

It makes me wonder… Why marry? Is it a religious upbringing which helps determine this kind of decision ? Aren’t they still « free » of this? What else makes them choose to marry?

 

I’m 59 yo and I intend to retire in Thailand in 5 years’ time. I’ve been living alone for a while. I need to leave « boring » Europe to explore a new culture and setup. 

 

I’d be interested in a relationship but not in a marriage. I wouldn’t be interested in meeting her family either. Why complicate my life? I don’t have much family left in France either.

 

I tend to think like this because I believe I would be safer if I keep my distance. I’d need a relationship but not a thai family. 

 

It’s hard enough to navigate an entire new culture. Why tie oneself up so tightly that it becomes to break loose ? What do you think, guys ?

 

English is a second language. I hope I get my message through all right.

Relationship is possible without marriage – I'm talking from 20 years experience with same girlfriend and also not much family left in my home country – however, if it going to be longer lasting relationship it might be hard to avoid meeting family, unless you find an orphan (I've tried, it's possible).

 

First thing I will recommend you to do is, to read the book "Thailand Fever", to better understand the Thai culture and especially how your spouse – married or not – thinks.

 

Some retirees marries due to financial issues, as they only needs a bank deposit of 400,000 baht, or a monthly income of 40,000 baht, to annually extend their stay in Thailand. The paperwork is more simple being a retiree, but you needs a bank deposit of 800,000 baht, or a monthly income of 65,000 baht.

 

English a second language is not a problem – my English is also second language – you will most likely be better in speaking English than you coming Thai girlfriend. However, a good investment could be to send her to English language school; a win-win benefit for both, as your communication might improve, and if the relationship don't lasts she will have better qualification for her next relationship with an English-speaking foreigner.

[atpeace]

11 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Since I'm not one of those, I can agree from my point of view. 

 

I'm also one of those who feel more connected to my wife the longer we are together, but fornus it have always been babysteps establishing our relationship, finding our way to coexist. 

 

Not crazy love or lost our heads, neither promised each other gold and air castles and pink dreams.

 

That's maybe the difference from others who have no time to be lost, and invest all they have, both feelings and invest in house and car after short time knownledge.

 

You know something is wrong, when the girls starts talking about land and house investments 3 months in to the relationship, or want to emigrate to Europe. 

 

I had a few of those before I met my wife.

How long you been together?

 

I married a Thai woman when we were both in early 30's in 2000 and divorced in 2019.  Good times as well as not so good but discovered I really didn't love her at all and she was just somebody that fit into my lifestyle.  As another poster stated above, love is hard to describe and he felt is was more of an illusion.  

 

Met another Thai in 2020 that is a couple years older than me and she is wonderful.  Been with many beautiful women but nothing compares to her.  Sacrificing for her benefit  is a pleasure and she feels the same. Maybe that is love.   60th birthday a few nights ago.  A guy at a nearby table heard me singing happy birthday and asked her age so he could have a laugh at our expense.  All their jaws dropped and he asked again.  Lucky man and she is hilarious too.  I know she doesn't need me for money which is also a  plus.  

[Ralf001]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Might be someone who isn't but hurt, but thinks it is a stupid answer as you mix up sex with a prostitute with a relation based on love.

Whats this love you dribble about ?

[Captain Flack]

Reported post containing a personal attack removed.

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, atpeace said:

How long you been together?

 

I married a Thai woman when we were both in early 30's in 2000 and divorced in 2019.  Good times as well as not so good but discovered I really didn't love her at all and she was just somebody that fit into my lifestyle.  As another poster stated above, love is hard to describe and he felt is was more of an illusion.  

 

Met another Thai in 2020 that is a couple years older than me and she is wonderful.  Been with many beautiful women but nothing compares to her.  Sacrificing for her benefit  is a pleasure and she feels the same. Maybe that is love.   60th birthday a few nights ago.  A guy at a nearby table heard me singing happy birthday and asked her age so he could have a laugh at our expense.  All their jaws dropped and he asked again.  Lucky man and she is hilarious too.  I know she doesn't need me for money which is also a  plus.  

We are on our 8. Year, 2 year married. Found out after covid, we needed to secure our relationship so we did not get stuck seperated 

in future. 

 

We all win and loose as the years goes, and it is not about what we lost, but what we gained. Be it experiences and knownlege, and hopefulle smarter but not damaged. 

 

I have started and closed businesses, and eventually managed to make more money than I lost. If I gave up, I would had lost everything. Relationships is almost same thing. You need to put some energy in to it, understand what you doing, the marked, and what doesn't work, and quit in time in necessary. 

 

If you are not sure, you are sure

 

 

Edited July 8 by Hummin

[save the frogs]

3 hours ago, BobBKK said:

 Understood - I was married once in the UK and have been in serious relationships, but I decided to let my hair down and enjoy the various pizza toppings when I came here. No way is right or wrong, obviously - best wishes.

Yeah, that's a good point.

It's 2 different lifestyles. Not one is better or worse than the other.

Both lifestyles have pros and cons.

If people on both sides are honest, they could make a long list of pros and cons of both lifestyles.

 

 

Edited July 8 by save the frogs

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

Yeah, that's a good point.

It's 2 different lifestyles. Not one is better or worse than the other.

Both lifestyles have pros and cons.

If people on both sides are honest, they could make a long list of pros and cons of both lifestyles.

 

 

We are working for the pros, solving and adjusting the cons. 

 

Who wants to be in a bad relationship? Nobody wants that, still many accept and living in bad relationships to long, get burned and damaged. 

[save the frogs]

7 minutes ago, Hummin said:

We are working for the pros, solving and adjusting the cons. 

 

Who wants to be in a bad relationship? Nobody wants that, still many accept and living in bad relationships to long, get burned and damaged. 

 

[save the frogs]

Hummin, 

Watch this video and get back to me on your thoughts.

And yes, there will be a QUIZ!

 

 

[BobBKK]

4 hours ago, Hummin said:

Since I'm not one of those, I can agree from my point of view. 

 

I'm also one of those who feel more connected to my wife the longer we are together, but fornus it have always been babysteps establishing our relationship, finding our way to coexist. 

 

Not crazy love or lost our heads, neither promised each other gold and air castles and pink dreams.

 

That's maybe the difference from others who have no time to be lost, and invest all they have, both feelings and invest in house and car after short time knownledge.

 

You know something is wrong, when the girls starts talking about land and house investments 3 months in to the relationship, or want to emigrate to Europe. 

 

I had a few of those before I met my wife.

I wish you and your wife all the best for the future. For me, all relationships are transitory, but it sounds like yours is solid, and for this lifetime at least, good luck. 🙏

[Yellowtail]

Why buy a car when you can rent a different one every week? 

[bubblegum]

Love.

[Acharn]

If you're lucky, one day you're going to need help eating, you'll be drooling on your flannel shirt, and changing your Pampers a couple times a day. As far as I know they don't have old people's homes for farangs in Thailand. If you're still young enough to have all your faculties, it's kind of nice to have somebody to talk with, or even make love with.

[habuspasha]

If I marry my GF of ten years, it will likely be to enable her to get a visa to come to the U.S.  

[Hummin]

27 minutes ago, Acharn said:

If you're lucky, one day you're going to need help eating, you'll be drooling on your flannel shirt, and changing your Pampers a couple times a day. As far as I know they don't have old people's homes for farangs in Thailand. If you're still young enough to have all your faculties, it's kind of nice to have somebody to talk with, or even make love with.

I have checked, there is several ranging from 50k a month without medical service, but all meals included and room up to 250k and more  with medical services. 

 

Search nurse home, nursing homes,

 

Retirement villages plenty of offers

[BTB1977]

I told my so-called thai wife that I'm never getting married legally.  We had the old village wedding.  30,000 baht later ( food, drinks, and party expenses)we were married in the eyes of the village. The family never even bothered to contact the local monks. 

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, BTB1977 said:

I told my so-called thai wife that I'm never getting married legally.  We had the old village wedding.  30,000 baht later ( food, drinks, and party expenses)we were married in the eyes of the village. The family never even bothered to contact the local monks. 

You had the blessing rope/string wedding, and not the traditional monk wedding.

Edited July 8 by Hummin

[Paris333]

Actually you should clarify why do you want to marry Thai woman and second do you want to marry or a free long relation?

Do you want a girlfriend or wife with official relation?

On Thai streets 7 to 10 people are females so dont be ......in a hurry you will miss something because you are foreigner and foreigners in Thai region do not have so nice reputation ............

My opinion is to stay 9 months alone to see Thailand from neutral position (optical angle) and not as .....tourist.

You will have the chance to go both to "dirty" and "clean" places for average Thai woman or girl.

Avoid the "easy life" with "easy girls/women" and use friendly diplomacy language in your daily activities to everyone.

Of cource you will sit with Thais but dont forget we are "company" and not friends......

Finally when you will come back in your home country you will verify that in your home you will be "stranger" and in Thai region "refuge" or "immigrant".......the bitter true.

Chill out -relax during your first year and enjoy everyday of your life for your own using "diplomacy friendly language" with locals.

My suggestion is dont "run" and "hund" women because you will miss the "game" ...........if you want to attract nice clear character of women............

 

 

[Nemises]

5 hours ago, Acharn said:

If you're lucky, one day you're going to need help eating, you'll be drooling on your flannel shirt, and changing your Pampers a couple times a day. As far as I know they don't have old people's homes for farangs in Thailand. If you're still young enough to have all your faculties, it's kind of nice to have somebody to talk with, or even make love with.

When that one day arrives you simply choose and settle down with 1 - or maybe 2! - of your favourite TGFs.
 

Until then, variety is the splice of life!!

 

 

Edited July 8 by Nemises

[Franck60]

On 7/7/2024 at 10:03 AM, jerrymahoney said:

Has the OP really ever been to Thailand? When I lived in Khon  Kaen there was a group of French gents who met every morning -- I once tried to say Hello! but the gent said no English whether he could or not. But I was friendly with one of the Frenchmen who owned a restaurant I used to visit.

 

Maybe you can find such a French underground in wherever it is you tend to at least visit Thailand in the next 5 years.

 

I only visited Thailand twice in 2012 for a total of THREE months altogether. I didn’t go to Pattaya or Phuket. I tried to move around a lot with a few days in Laos and Cambodia too. I did stay a few weeks in Chiang Mai though. I’ll have plenty of time to explore thailand when I live there. I’ve traveled a lot during my life. Thailand is a good place to explore, learn and live,

[jerrymahoney]

35 minutes ago, Franck60 said:

 

I only visited Thailand twice in 2012 for a total of THREE months altogether. I didn’t go to Pattaya or Phuket. I tried to move around a lot with a few days in Laos and Cambodia too. I did stay a few weeks in Chiang Mai though. I’ll have plenty of time to explore thailand when I live there. I’ve traveled a lot during my life. Thailand is a good place to explore, learn and live,

Well OK but there is only so much you can learn from the sidelines.

 

Some of this reminds me of the old American comedy team Burns and Allen where George asks Gracie: So how is your uncle Fred in  Sheboygan, Wisconsin. And Gracie rambles on for the next 5 minutes while George smokes his cigar.