Does your Thai wife keep you on a short leash?

[Expat68]

22 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

I agree especially if the topic is boring football, Coronation Street, or East Enders for example.

 

I wouldn't have a clue.

 

Seeing as you introduced knowledge of certain subjects, I  am amazed at the number of people who go on about AI as though it exists, it might exist maybe 100 years from now.

 

The simple solution is to ask ChatGPT if it has AI, it will tell you no, but it will tell you it has a set of complex algorithms, machine learning capabilities, and fast links to all sorts of data it can cross-reference in superfast time, much better than Google as a stand-alone system for example. 

 

But it is a fantastic tool as instead of traipsing through thousands of lines of reference manuals when I write system code for iPhone apps it can point me directly to the correct area to look at.

 

But we do have to keep an eye on the results it produces as many times it has got it wrong, eg I asked it to refactor about 300 lines of my code, it was a test to see how good it was, and it got it completely wrong and missed out half of the existing code.

 

Plus if we update it with some new information it says it can not use that info, hence another reason it shows it has no AI, it has to rely on database updates now and then. 

 

 

We are entering into what could be a very dangerous time of our lives, as yet no one knows 

[JamesPhuket10]

1 hour ago, Expat68 said:

We are entering into what could be a very dangerous time of our lives, as yet no one knows 

 

Yep, that is what the media and news are telling us to get our attention so we read their nonsense and so they make money on advertising, etc. Unless you are less than one year old you have nothing to worry about in your lifetime regarding the so-called AI, most people don't even know what it means, they just follow what people are saying blindly. 

[Expat68]

22 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

Yep, that is what the media and news are telling us to get our attention so we read their nonsense and so they make money on advertising, etc. Unless you are less than one year old you have nothing to worry about in your lifetime regarding the so-called AI, most people don't even know what it means, they just follow what people are saying blindly. 

While there are idiots in power there is always danger 

[JamesPhuket10]

1 hour ago, Expat68 said:

While there are idiots in power there is always danger 

 

The real danger is the idiots who voted for Labour.

 

I will be laughing my head off on the 31st of October when Labour tells us how they are going to rob the twits who voted for them. 

 

[Expat68]

57 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

The real danger is the idiots who voted for Labour.

 

I will be laughing my head off on the 31st of October when Labour tells us how they are going to rob the twits who voted for them. 

 

Agree. There is no such thing as labour anymore. Two faced Blair was responsible for that

[Thingamabob]

No, and neither I do I keep her on a short lease. Happily married since 1984.

[spidermike007]

Any man who comes from the West, decides to settle in Thailand and decide to settle down with the Thai woman, can decide whether or not he wants to be on a short leash. In my particular case that lifestyle never worked so I was just very honest and up front, early on. That wasn't the lifestyle we were going to embrace, I was not going to be tolerant of jealousy and possessiveness on the part of somebody that I was with, and though my woman didn't understand it at first, she sure did after a while, and we have both benefited from a great deal of Independence and neither of us is on a short leash, and it's very pleasant. 

 

I recommend that lifestyle to any emasculated man, however if you come here and allow her to dictate terms to you and then later decide that it's not working your only option is to leave, because once you allow her to become a monster there's no turning back, so it's all on you! Be a man or be an obedient mouse. Which lifestyle do you care to choose? 

[jippytum]

Anyone  divorce a western wife come to Thailand fall in love and marry a  younger Thai lady and then be coerced to be on a short lease is a wimp. 

[wavodavo]

On 9/16/2024 at 12:48 AM, NorthernRyland said:

The background, last year I decided I just can't take living anywhere near Chiang Mai and being exposed to the city. It's making me miserable being stuck in traffic and eating off the sides of noisy roads. All I see being built are these miserable over priced housing developments. Investors bought everything and land prices are absurd. It sucks and I'm done.

 

I told me wife I'm going to have a mental breakdown if I have to stay another year and so now I've been staying at my rental house up in the mountains with my dog and she can visit me on the weekends or wait until I'm bored and come down to here house for a few days. She's been totally fine with this and happy to have some space to herself and make noise watching stuff on her phone. Win-win.

 

I was just back in Colorado visiting family and I told my aunt about this arrangement and she was totally not ok with this and even went so far as to say she would divorce my ass if I did this to her. 😂 Honestly I don't care if I get divorced but I'm not staying in that city until my wife retires in 15 years and I'm not going to let her quit and take care of her so this is where I'm at. If had the same marriage as my aunt and her husband I would have bailed years ago. What a nightmare.

 

Anyways this got my thinking, are Thai women more accepting of this or is it just me? I know 3 of my wives friends that have husbands that work in other provinces and send money back home. Everyone thinks this is normal. Maybe the guys do this to meet their societal obligations and then see girls on the side and that's just how some Thai people do it. No idea but that's the impression I get because there's certainly a pattern here.

 

Curious to know what your experience is. Are Thai women different in this regard?

 

Sounds like your marriage is OVER.

[retarius]

No.

[MarkyM3]

On 10/10/2024 at 4:21 PM, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

I have a degree from a university in London.

 

And an MSc, from Trinity College, Oxford, both in software engineering, I think I can pretty much hold my own in any discussion.

 

I think most people in pubs talking about football probably have only achieved something like an 'O level' in woodwork. 

 

The thing that makes me laugh about footie supporters is they say "We did this and we did that" while talking about a game of footie they watched on TV as though they are part of the club, they fail to realise it is a business out to make money and they have no influence whatsoever on what is going on. 

 

 

I guess having an Masters from Oxbridge (which you've repeatedly mentioned on this forum, why not just add it to your sig so people know in advance) precludes people from having an interest in football or sports other than RU (a borefest imo but I wouldn't slag off or cast aspersions people who follow it)?

 

Plenty of degree educated people involved with or interested in football, perhaps they don't come up to snuff though in your mind.

 

Btw...isn't Thailand rather too downmarket for you, with "dim women" and simpletons everywhere? Surely your MSc could have got you a better location to ply your trade? 

 

Edited October 16 by MarkyM3

[JamesPhuket10]

14 hours ago, MarkyM3 said:

 

I guess having an Masters from Oxbridge (which you've repeatedly mentioned on this forum, why not just add it to your sig so people know in advance) precludes people from having an interest in football or sports other than RU (a borefest imo but I wouldn't slag off or cast aspersions people who follow it)?

 

Plenty of degree educated people involved with or interested in football, perhaps they don't come up to snuff though in your mind.

 

Btw...isn't Thailand rather too downmarket for you, with "dim women" and simpletons everywhere? Surely your MSc could have got you a better location to ply your trade? 

 

 

There are simpletons everywhere in the world, and there are also very bright people in the world including Thailand, I never mentioned anything only relating to Thailand in my comments, but as usual people on sites like this frequently put two and two together and come up with five. 

 

I am not sure why you pointed out "dim women" to me, there are both dim men and women everywhere in the world as well as very bright ones.

 

I just chose not to mix with the dim ones, if you do that is no problem to me.

 

I mentioned the degree as it was very relevant to answering messages claiming I was dim, was I supposed to agree with them or give them proof why I am not?

 

You said, "Btw...isn't Thailand rather too downmarket for you...."

 

No, as I said there are lots of bright people everywhere in the world including Thailand, for example, I received an email inviting me to the Oxbridge annual dinner at the InterContinental Hotel in Bangkok in November, there are about three hundred and fifty members, most of them, of course, are Thai, unfortunately, I am going to the UK on 1st Of November for a month or two.

 

You mentioned "...ply my trade", well I am living off my retirement investments but I keep my brain active by writing iPhone apps from my own house office in Phuket, I can be anywhere in the world to do that, and sitting around just talking/watching footie would be far too boring. 

[norsurin]

My exwife wasn't a jealous type of women.When we lived together in surin she used to ask me if i have plan to go to karaoke at nigth because if so she would cook my dinner earlier.

I was often in karaokebars and she brought me there.. talked with the ladies there in a friendly way.Then she went back home I i went to surin city about 40 km away she just said enjoy ur time..and told me to take a hotel for the night and she picked me up the next day.

That time i worked in Singapore and malaysia.6 weeks on/off.

We divorced 7 year ago..2 kids together.I brought my exwife and our kids to Norway 17 year ago.They still live here.I meet my kids on a daily basis because they work near my home.Sometimes i run into my exwife and we talk together in a shop etc.No hard feeling's..past is past.Anyway after i get divorced i had 3 different gf in Thailand.I cant stand jealous girls so i said goodbye to this girl's.I choose to be single and i like that.I love my freedom.

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/11/2024 at 2:49 PM, Expat68 said:

Agree. There is no such thing as labour anymore. Two faced Blair was responsible for that

 

There is a Labour Party, they will do as they always do, rob the poor and give the money to the well-paid union workers who control the Labour Party. 

 

Train drivers are about to be paid £69k for sitting on their arses all day long holding onto a dead-mans-handle, where is the justification for that amount of pay? A monkey could drive a train. 

 

They will also attempt to rob the rich but they as always will move to another country and the taxes they collect will be even less. 

 

What did they say, "we will not increase taxes for working people"

 

They are about to increase the NI which companies pay for each employee, 50% of businesses are run by families or individuals, they probably work a lot more hours than their employees, are these people not working people?

 

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/12/2024 at 6:02 AM, spidermike007 said:

Any man who comes from the West, decides to settle in Thailand and decide to settle down with the Thai woman, can decide whether or not he wants to be on a short leash. In my particular case that lifestyle never worked so I was just very honest and up front, early on. That wasn't the lifestyle we were going to embrace, I was not going to be tolerant of jealousy and possessiveness on the part of somebody that I was with, and though my woman didn't understand it at first, she sure did after a while, and we have both benefited from a great deal of Independence and neither of us is on a short leash, and it's very pleasant. 

 

I recommend that lifestyle to any emasculated man, however if you come here and allow her to dictate terms to you and then later decide that it's not working your only option is to leave, because once you allow her to become a monster there's no turning back, so it's all on you! Be a man or be an obedient mouse. Which lifestyle do you care to choose? 

 

That is the case for any man in any country.

 

I remember decades ago in the UK I was going out with an English woman, she started to become bossy and possessive so I "did a runner", and she ended up marrying my brother's friend.

 

It was not the last "runner" I did, in fact, I did it again and the ex ended up marrying a friend's friend, I should have been paid a commission for all of the couples I put together. 😄

 

My brother never saw much of his friend after the marriage as she controlled him.

 

I think some guys like to be controlled as the wife is a replacement for their doting mother. 

[JamesPhuket10]

On 10/17/2024 at 11:24 AM, norsurin said:

My exwife wasn't a jealous type of women.When we lived together in surin she used to ask me if i have plan to go to karaoke at nigth because if so she would cook my dinner earlier.

I was often in karaokebars and she brought me there.. talked with the ladies there in a friendly way.Then she went back home I i went to surin city about 40 km away she just said enjoy ur time..and told me to take a hotel for the night and she picked me up the next day.

That time i worked in Singapore and malaysia.6 weeks on/off.

We divorced 7 year ago..2 kids together.I brought my exwife and our kids to Norway 17 year ago.They still live here.I meet my kids on a daily basis because they work near my home.Sometimes i run into my exwife and we talk together in a shop etc.No hard feeling's..past is past.Anyway after i get divorced i had 3 different gf in Thailand.I cant stand jealous girls so i said goodbye to this girl's.I choose to be single and i like that.I love my freedom.

 

Well done, what a decent chap! 👍

[G_Money]

On 10/12/2024 at 6:02 AM, spidermike007 said:

Any man who comes from the West, decides to settle in Thailand and decide to settle down with the Thai woman, can decide whether or not he wants to be on a short leash. In my particular case that lifestyle never worked so I was just very honest and up front, early on. That wasn't the lifestyle we were going to embrace, I was not going to be tolerant of jealousy and possessiveness on the part of somebody that I was with, and though my woman didn't understand it at first, she sure did after a while, and we have both benefited from a great deal of Independence and neither of us is on a short leash, and it's very pleasant. 

 

I recommend that lifestyle to any emasculated man, however if you come here and allow her to dictate terms to you and then later decide that it's not working your only option is to leave, because once you allow her to become a monster there's no turning back, so it's all on you! Be a man or be an obedient mouse. Which lifestyle do you care to choose? 

Best post yet.

[spidermike007]

On 10/11/2024 at 5:43 PM, jippytum said:

Anyone  divorce a western wife come to Thailand fall in love and marry a  younger Thai lady and then be coerced to be on a short lease is a wimp. 

A man is only on a short leash because he allows it to happen, so you're right it is only for the wimps of this world who are unwilling to take control of their own lives, and establish a firm agenda early on. 

[spidermike007]

On 9/17/2024 at 11:38 PM, Chadnik said:

 

My guess is that Donald Trump has had a great life. As tragic as his need to pull a knife out of his back every half hour I'm sure it's been an epic journey.

I completely disagree, he certainly had the potential for a great life, but this is a man that wakes up every morning with so much bile in the back of his throat that he feels the need to inflict his anger hatred, and bitterness on every person he encounters. This man is the very definition of unfulfilled and miserable, you can see it in his face, you can hear it and every word. Lock him up. 

[Expat68]

12 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

There is a Labour Party, they will do as they always do, rob the poor and give the money to the well-paid union workers who control the Labour Party. 

 

Train drivers are about to be paid £69k for sitting on their arses all day long holding onto a dead-mans-handle, where is the justification for that amount of pay? A monkey could drive a train. 

 

They will also attempt to rob the rich but they as always will move to another country and the taxes they collect will be even less. 

 

What did they say, "we will not increase taxes for working people"

 

They are about to increase the NI which companies pay for each employee, 50% of businesses are run by families or individuals, they probably work a lot more hours than their employees, are these people not working people?

 

I suggest you ask the printers union which I was a member for 34 years

[JamesPhuket10]

10 hours ago, Expat68 said:

I suggest you ask the printers union which I was a member for 34 years

 

I am very happy to say the printer 'workers', have been replaced by computers etc, the typesetters, etc who were being paid for doing not a lot are well gone.

 

Being a software engineer does have its upside. We don't need to be in unions as we have skills.

 

We should have cloned Maggie Thatcher, the clone would have sorted the lazy union mafia of today.

 

I think it will be fun on the 31st of this month when the people who voted for this lot get their comeuppance. 

 

They have already robbed the poor (winter pension payments) to give to the greedy lazy union "workers", I use the word 'workers' loosely.  

 

"The rich", will already have their bags packed and heading for the airport. 🤣

[JamesPhuket10]

20 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

A man is only on a short leash because he allows it to happen, so you're right it is only for the wimps of this world who are unwilling to take control of their own lives, and establish a firm agenda early on. 

 

But I wonder why the people commenting here seem to think it is just a Thai thing.

 

Wimps can be wimps under the control of a woman in most places in the world if they wish to.

[Expat68]

50 minutes ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

I am very happy to say the printer 'workers', have been replaced by computers etc, the typesetters, etc who were being paid for doing not a lot are well gone.

 

Being a software engineer does have its upside. We don't need to be in unions as we have skills.

 

We should have cloned Maggie Thatcher, the clone would have sorted the lazy union mafia of today.

 

I think it will be fun on the 31st of this month when the people who voted for this lot get their comeuppance. 

 

They have already robbed the poor (winter pension payments) to give to the greedy lazy union "workers", I use the word 'workers' loosely.  

 

"The rich", will already have their bags packed and heading for the airport. 🤣

You seem to know a lot about printers, I was in the trade for many, many years, so go on enlighten me and I will tell you whether you are right or wrong 

[spidermike007]

4 hours ago, JamesPhuket10 said:

 

But I wonder why the people commenting here seem to think it is just a Thai thing.

 

Wimps can be wimps under the control of a woman in most places in the world if they wish to.

In my opinion that's exactly the opposite here. I think most Thai women prefer it if a man behaves like a man, if he takes control, and if the pilots the ship of the relationship. However if he's a wimp coming from the West and he's does not have the ability to go beyond his training to be an obedient man, and take control, then the woman has to assume control because somebody has to pilot the ship. 

[Dcheech]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

In my opinion that's exactly the opposite here. I think most Thai women prefer it if a man behaves like a man, if he takes control, and if the pilots the ship of the relationship. However if he's a wimp coming from the West

 

This seems to be a popular notion here on Thaivisa, uh, er, AN. Act Like A Man! or she will romp all over you. I'm sure it happens, you know, to wussy boys who marry bar girls. Still lots of Thai women appreciate westerners as mates because, among other reasons,  they do not belt seven bells a heck out of them, or move karaoke singers into the house, and kick them out, after literally kicking them. Both of which happened to some Thai women I know.

I'm sure this is not what you mean, but for some, western airheads, it needs to be stated explicitly. 



 

[spidermike007]

4 hours ago, Dcheech said:

 

This seems to be a popular notion here on Thaivisa, uh, er, AN. Act Like A Man! or she will romp all over you. I'm sure it happens, you know, to wussy boys who marry bar girls. Still lots of Thai women appreciate westerners as mates because, among other reasons,  they do not belt seven bells a heck out of them, or move karaoke singers into the house, and kick them out, after literally kicking them. Both of which happened to some Thai women I know.

I'm sure this is not what you mean, but for some, western airheads, it needs to be stated explicitly. 



 

Well there are obviously many interpretations of what acting like a man looks like, but for many of us it means being very kind and generous to our women, dealing with them with a great deal of affection and respect and love, but at the same time acknowledging the roles that we play in a relationship. Alot of Thai women love being women, and really embrace the role (thankfully!) and they love it when their man behaves like a man. If you want to lay down and act like a dog or a doormat, then you know what's going to happen? You're going to get walked on like a dog or a doormat. If you want to maintain your dignity and your strength, and act like a man, then you're likely going to be treated like a man. 

[Expat68]

7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

In my opinion that's exactly the opposite here. I think most Thai women prefer it if a man behaves like a man, if he takes control, and if the pilots the ship of the relationship. However if he's a wimp coming from the West and he's does not have the ability to go beyond his training to be an obedient man, and take control, then the woman has to assume control because somebody has to pilot the ship. 

All women like to be in control whether it be an Asian woman or Western. It is also the mans fault always. This is a fact of life

[CANSIAM]

7 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

In my opinion that's exactly the opposite here. I think most Thai women prefer it if a man behaves like a man, if he takes control, and if the pilots the ship of the relationship. However if he's a wimp coming from the West and he's does not have the ability to go beyond his training to be an obedient man, and take control, then the woman has to assume control because somebody has to pilot the ship. 

Agree, 'man up men' and start it very early, you need 30k - 50k a month ? get her trained very early that 5000 baht is a lot of money...........

[JamesPhuket10]

13 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

In my opinion that's exactly the opposite here. I think most Thai women prefer it if a man behaves like a man, if he takes control, and if the pilots the ship of the relationship. However if he's a wimp coming from the West and he's does not have the ability to go beyond his training to be an obedient man, and take control, then the woman has to assume control because somebody has to pilot the ship. 

 

This can be the case for any relationship anywhere in the world, well except for some very strict religious countries.  

 

I don't mind being bossed about on a small scale and I use the word 'bossed' very loosely, for example, I am not that good at eating fruit, and so every afternoon as I am writing software in my home office a plate of prepared fruits is slapped on my desk in front of me followed by the word, "eat".

 

I gladly comply as it is good for me, it is more about concern than being bossy.

 

[JamesPhuket10]

6 hours ago, Expat68 said:

All women like to be in control whether it be an Asian woman or Western. It is also the mans fault always. This is a fact of life

 

It is probably a fact of your life.