Having kids when old

[patman30]

7 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

I personally think that too....  but wouldn't pass judgement on a 60 year old having a child, if they were financially stable, could provide solid education (international standards in Thailand), and were healthy and energetic... they'd be 80 when their child is 20 years old... thats not so bad.

yes, exactly this, 60 is fine providing there is a very good chance you will see 80
and you are very secure financially.

As for education....
my personal view from my own experience is schools slow down the learning process, and teach us to remember and repeat, more than to think for ourselves.
that is just my experience though, i dropped out of high school at 14, last employed at 25 and retired in my 30s
but that is not for everyone, and home schooling is not for every parent either.

[richard_smith237]

8 minutes ago, patman30 said:

yes, exactly this, 60 is fine providing there is a very good chance you will see 80
and you are very secure financially.

As for education....
my personal view from my own experience is schools slow down the learning process, and teach us to remember and repeat, more than to think for ourselves.that is just my experience though, i dropped out of high school at 14, last employed at 25 and retired in my 30s
but that is not for everyone, and home schooling is not for every parent either.

 

I completely disagree - you maybe describing rubbish schools. 

Its certainly different at top-tier international schools.

 

I agree that home schooling is not for any parent, its not for the vast majority of parents given the experiences I have with the standards and knowledge I see in others around me.

 

It could be argued that home schooling should be banned... (that depends on the available options though - home schooling could be a better option than sending a kid to the local temple school - but then going back to the UK and putting a child in a free school here is the better option).

 

 

I'm not an educated educator - I'd be doing my son a disservice attempting to 'home-teach' him Maths, English, English Literature, Biology, Chemistry, Physics etc...   Though I was very strong in those subjects... I've never been 'taught how to teach them'....   I'd fail my son and thus have to rely on and defer to the professionals, just as my employers do me.... 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 3 hours ago by richard_smith237

[Euroboy123]

I did the opposite, I was 24 when I fathered my first child with a 36 year old thai woman. Wasn't something planned and it was rough but it all worked put in the end.

Edited 2 hours ago by Euroboy123

[brianthainess]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Do dads really do that?

My dad never did, and I never have either.

Think you've never had kids and believing the Hallmark channel.

I have no Idea what the 'hallmark channel' is, I guess it's an American thing. So you don't wish your dad had been more proactive, I wish my dad had been, but he was always working. 

[brianthainess]

33 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

I completely disagree - you maybe describing rubbish schools. 

Its certainly different at top-tier international schools.

 

I agree that home schooling is not for any parent, its not for the vast majority of parents given the experiences I have with the standards and knowledge I see in others around me.

 

It could be argued that home schooling should be banned... (that depends on the available options though - home schooling could be a better option than sending a kid to the local temple school - but then going back to the UK and putting a child in a free school here is the better option).

 

 

I'm not an educated educator - I'd be doing my son a disservice attempting to 'home-teach' him Maths, English, English Literature, Biology, Chemistry, Physics etc...   Though I was very strong in those subjects... I've never been 'taught how to teach them'....   I'd fail my son and thus have to rely on and defer to the professionals, just as my employers do me.... 

 

 

 

 

 

I agree, 

[JAS21]

Hell NO … when my kids from my first marriage went to university I sold their beds and changed the door locks.

 

When I married my present wife … who is a Thai … she was 48 and I was 57, neither of us had any desire to have any more children …… that was twenty two years ago and our opinions haven’t changed …. Don’t do it ….

[4MyEgo]

7 hours ago, Celsius said:

'm 51, so still got some time to think about it, but I think that's the way to go.

 

 

I had my 1st child to my X wife when I was 37.

 

My 2nd child with my Thai wife when I was 49, the 3rd came along when I was 54, we had both agreed to have kids, albeit it, I was ageing, however wife is 20 years younger than me, and I am in a financial position to help them in life.

 

Kids provide you with a lot of joy, and a lot of headaches, for without kids, life would be pretty bland in my opinion.

 

Then came the dog, now that's another story, I can get rid of that, I think ?

 

My advice to you is, if your fit and active, that's a bonus, if you are financial, that's another bonus.

 

The rest comes as you age, aches and pains, and of course watching your funds deplete 🙂

 

Oh and having kids means you are restricted in doing a lot of things, that you wouldn't be restricted in doing if you didn't have kids.

 

Think long and hard, before you blow that load 🤑

 

 

Edited 1 hour ago by 4MyEgo

[JBChiangRai]

2 hours ago, patman30 said:

i believe the the traditional family unit, The Male/father should lead and his wife support him while they both fulfil their roles

Fulfilling our roles is how we have historically had and raised children and if you’d asked me if this was the best way 30 years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to suggest any alternative.

 

I wasn’t a very present parent, initially I was climbing the corporate ladder and later building my own businesses. My wife was the same, she did what was required, but she wanted her own life too.

 

After coming to Thailand, a failed relationship left me with my partner’s 5 year old child.  I wasn’t going to throw the child out of international school and walk away.  I knew from the start that letting the child aged 4 live with us was a lifelong commitment whatever happened.
 

Second time around with kids, I did have the financial security to raise her and later her cousin.  However, I also had the “ability“ to make my time available to put them first.

 

First time around, I didn’t have the “ability” to do that, and I didn’t want to, my priorities were business, wife, kids in that order.

 

Second time around, my priorities were kids, business in that order with a very heavy weighting on kids.  
 

I got the kids up in a morning, fed them, got them to school.  Picked them up after school, got them dinner and put them to bed.

 

I have been very much present and I think I’ve done a much better job than my wife and I did together when we had to fulfill our own roles.

 

I couldn’t even have understood that 30 years ago.

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, JAS21 said:

Hell NO … when my kids from my first marriage went to university I sold their beds and changed the door locks.

 

When I married my present wife … who is a Thai … she was 48 and I was 57, neither of us had any desire to have any more children …… that was twenty two years ago and our opinions haven’t changed …. Don’t do it ….

 

Really ?? ... thats quite sad.

 

The implication is that you cut ties with your children, but that may just be the character of your response lending to that assumption - I apologise if I'm mistaken.

 

 

My childhood bedroom is now my Sons room when we go back to the UK and visit my folks a couple of times per year....   my family home has always felt like my family home, both my Wife, Son and I have belongings and clothes there... its our home in the UK and always will be for as long as my Parents live there.

 

 

That said... I do have desire to have more children, as does my Wife as it was and still is so much fun the first time around.....  But there is firm element of realism as we are now in our late 40's... and we both agree its a bit to late for more (thats just a personal perspective).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[save the frogs]

9 hours ago, Celsius said:

I am starting to think that maybe for a man it is a good idea to have kids in late 60's early 70's.

 

You get to spend your hard earned money on them without a care in the world. You get to see them when they are the cutest. They will keep your brain active because you want to be there for them and teach them new things. Hopefully you croak once they reach 15 years of age so the chances of them giving you heart attack or dementia at that age are low. 

 

I'm 51, so still got some time to think about it, but I think that's the way to go.

 

 

 

Yes, I was thinking the same thing.

 

We've been brainwashed to have kids when we're younger and marry a woman the same age in the West.

 

Marry a younger woman and have kids when you're older, have savings, and can semi-retire to spend a lot of time with them in the most important years of their lives and development . As opposed to when you're younger and have to work all the time.

 

And really, it's ok if you croak when they're 16. They don't need you anymore. 

 

I don't particularly like you, but on this issue we're on the same page. 

 

[john donson]

what will the world be like when the woke snowflake generation of now will have kids...

[richard_smith237]

6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Yes, I was thinking the same thing.

 

We've been brainwashed to have kids when we're younger and marry a woman the same age in the West.

 

Have we really ??....   I thought it was the other way round... have kids later on in our 30's & 40's once our career has kicked off, compared to earlier generations when 20's was the age to start a family... 

 

 

6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

Marry a younger woman and have kids when you're older, have savings, and can semi-retire to spend a lot of time with them in the most important years of their lives and development . As opposed to when you're younger and have to work all the time.

 

 

This might stretch back to the 'security' argument - are younger women really interested in older men if all other things are equal, i.e. is a self funding 25 year old woman really  interested in a 50 year old male ??... he'd have to have looked after himself and have exceptional game !... 

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

And really, it's ok if you croak when they're 16. They don't need you anymore. 

 

No, its really not...  Is a child's life not so much richer for having grandparents ?

Is early adulthood not so much more enjoyable when you can finally look at your parents, not as disciplinarians, tyrants, dictators or those who make the rules to be followed, but with an understanding of them as someone who has guided you so well though the narrows... 

 

 

6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

I don't particularly like you, but on this issue we're on the same page. 

 

Hearts and minds - classy !!!